Chapter 4 4

46 The time has passed when I should repay her for all that I have received. Her nights find their mornings, and you take her to your arms; I offer you the gratitude and gifts that are due to her. I come before you begging forgiveness for all the hurt and offense I have done to her in the past. I offer you also my buds of love waiting for her to open. 47 I found that some of my old letters were carefully hidden in her box, like a few small playthings for her memory to play with. With a timid heart, she tried to steal these playthings from the turbulence of time, she said: "These things belong to me only!"

Ah, now that no one claims possession of these letters, who will pay to take good care of them?Therefore, they are left here untouched. In this world, there must be a benevolence that will not make her completely lost, just like her kind of love that makes these letters so infatuated. 48 Come, O woman, bring beauty and order into this miserable life of mine, as you brought them into my home while you lived. Wash away the dust of time, fill empty jugs, repair everything that has been neglected. Then open the inner gate of the temple, light the candles, and let us meet silently in front of God.

49 O my Lord, how great is the pain when the harp is tuned! Play the music, let me forget the pain; let me perceive everything in your heart in this ruthless day in the enjoyment of beauty. The fading night still lingers at my door, let her sing her farewell. To the accompaniment of the music of your stars, O my Lord, pour out your heart into the strings of my life. 50 In a momentary flash of lightning, I see in my life your immense creative power—creativity through life and death, from world to world. When I see my life in its pointless moments, I cry for my worthlessness, but when I see your life in your hands, I know it's precious, no Should be cast in the shadows.

51 I know that one day, the sun will say goodbye to me in the twilight. The shepherd boy will play his flute under the banyan tree, the cattle will graze on the hillside by the river, and my days will dissolve into darkness. My prayer is: before I go, let me know why the earth calls me to her arms; Why her nightly silence tells me the stories of the stars, why her morning light kisses my thoughts like flowers. let me linger awhile before i go, and sing my last verse, and make it to music; let me light a lamp, and have a look in your face; let me weave the wreath, and put it on your head.

52 What music is that, that makes the world shake to its beat? We laughed when it reached life's peak, and crouched in terror when it returned to darkness. The same performance, now high and now silent, to the beat of the never-ending piece. You hide wealth in the palm of your hand, we scream that we are robbed. But you can loosen or squeeze your palm as you like, and the gains and losses are the same. You are playing the game with yourself, you are losing and winning at the same time. 53 I have kissed the world with my eyes and my arms; I have wrapped it layer upon layer within me;

I have drowned its day and night with thought, until the world and my life became one.I love my life because I love the light of heaven with which I am woven. If leaving this world is as real as loving it, then the encounters and partings of life must be meaningful. If love is deceived by death, the poison of this deceit will corrupt all things, and the stars will wither and be eclipsed. 54 Yun Duo said to me: "I'm going to dissipate now." The night said to me: "I will plunge into the fiery morning glow." Pain said to me: "I keep as deep a silence as his steps."

Life said to me: "I die in perfection." The earth said to me: "My light kisses your thoughts every moment." Love said to me: "Time passes, but I'm waiting for you." Death said to me: "Through the sea I sail the boat of your life." 55 On the banks of the Ganges, in the solitary place where the dead are cremated, the poet Dursidas wanders up and down, lost in thought. He found a woman sitting next to her husband's body, dressed in flamboyant attire, as if at a wedding. When he saw the poet, he stood up and saluted, saying, "Master, please allow me to follow my husband to heaven with your blessing."

"Why the haste, my child?" asked Dulcedas, "doesn't this world also belong to the God who made the kingdom of heaven?" "I don't want heaven," answered the woman, "I want only my husband." Dulsidas said with a smile: "Go home, my child. You will find your husband before the month is over." The woman returned home full of hope of happiness, and Tulsidas visited her every day, prompting her with deep thoughts until her heart was filled with divine love. Before the end of January, the neighbors came to see her and asked, "Sister, have you found your husband?"

The widow smiled and replied, "Yes, I found it." Neighbors eagerly asked, "Where is he?" "My husband is in my heart and has become one with me." The woman replied. 56 You have been by my side briefly, touching me with the great feminine mystery of the cosmic heart. She, who returns forever to the overflowing sweetness of God himself; she is the ever fresh beauty and youth of nature; She dances in the bubbling brook, she sings in the morning sun; she feeds the hungry earth with rolling waves; Filled with the pain of love. 57 who is she?This forever lonely and desolate woman lives in my heart.

I courted her, but failed to win her. I adorn her with garlands, I praise her with carols. The momentary smile on her face disappeared in an instant. "I can't find joy in you." She cried, a sad woman. I bought her anklets set with jewels; I fanned her with jeweled fans; I made her bed on solid gold bedsteads. There was a gleam of joy in her eyes, but it died quickly. "I get no joy out of these jewels," she cried, a sad woman. I helped her into the Triumph and drove her around. Conquered hearts fell at her feet, and the sound of cheers resounded through the sky.

A momentary pride flickered in her eyes, then died in tears. "I get no joy from conquest," she cried, a sad woman. I asked her, "Tell me, who are you looking for?" She just replied: "I'm waiting for him whose name I can't name." Time flies, she is crying: "When will my lover come? He is unknown to me, and will always be known to me." 58 Your light bursts from darkness, your kindness sprouts from a struggling, cracked heart. Your house is open to the world, your love is calling people to battle. My gift is a gain when all things are lost, your life flows from the den of death. Your heaven is built among the earth, where you dwell for me and for all. 59 When I am worn out and thirsty with heat, when the ghost of evening throws its shadow over my life, at this moment, my friend, I long not only to hear your voice, but to have you touching. There is an agony in my heart for bearing the burden of not entrusting you with wealth. Stretch out your hand through the night, let me hold it, fill it, own it; let me feel it caress my stretching loneliness. 60 Fragrance cries in the bud: "Ah, a day has passed, a happy spring day, and I am imprisoned in the petal!" Do not be disheartened, timid things! Thy shackles are all broken, buds shall burst forth, and even if you die in the prime of life, the spring shall endure. Fragrant pants, flutters, and shouts loudly in the bud: "Oh, time goes by, but I don't know where I'm drifting, and I don't know what to seek!" Do not be disheartened, timid things! Hexi's spring breeze has accidentally heard your wish, and before the end of the day, you will fulfill your mission of survival. Her future is dark, Fen Fang cried out in disappointment: "Ah, my life is so meaningless, whose fault is it? "Can anyone tell me why I am doing this?" Do not be disheartened, timid things! The perfect dawn is approaching when you will merge your life with the lives of all and finally know the purpose of your existence.