Chapter 12 On Eileen Chang-1

(one) If we compare the colors of Mr. Zhang Ailing's prose and novels, the bright side is silver-purple, and the dark side is blue-gray under the moon. It is such a youthful beauty. Reading her works is like walking on a piano, and every step makes music.But she created the harmony of life, and still cannot be satisfied with this harmony.Her heart is joyful and troubled, as if a dove wants to break through this beautiful mountain and river, fly to the boundless sky, that far, far away place, or fall into the deepest place in the sea, and tell her story there. secret.What she is looking for is that in the world, there is a little red on top of red, or a little black on top of black, as her refuge.

She admired the title of Shaoxing Opera "Borrowing the Red Light", saying it was extremely beautiful.For a beautiful word, as for being so moved, there is her devotion to life here.She illuminates life not with the innocence of a child, nor with the persistence of a middle-aged person, nor with the wisdom of an old man, but with the beauty of youth. I can imagine that she thinks that the cutest thing is herself, like a bright red azalea, the spring forest exists for her.Because she loves to please herself, she will put on shorts and trousers, classic embroidered attire, and go out on the street, ignoring the attention of passers-by, while she is intoxicated by the things she has seen on the stage or read in novels. I think that a princess who is beautified by imagination, or just a pretty move of a maid, is as moved by the beautiful word "borrowing the red light" as she is, as for wishing to make herself into this beautiful word like that.This is not narcissism.Narcissism is sentimental and persistent, while she is domineering.For example, Christ passed through the crowd, and a voice said, "Behold, the Lord of Man is coming." Her love for herself was similar to this.

Just as young people love to be the first to speak, and feel that they have too much to say and are too excited to be restrained. As for it is too late and there is no space to allow him to listen to the other party's speech, they often interrupt rudely. , often cannot restrain oneself to respect the things of the outside world, and even tramples on them.She does not know much, but she is not impoverished because she is the source of life herself.On the contrary, external things seem to her poor, not enough to explain what she wants to explain, and she is troubled by the poverty of all languages.This makes her prefer to choose classical things as materials, and express them in the way of pattern painting.Because the farther the classical things are from reality, the more freedom she has to create beautiful fantasies, and the more abstract the pattern painting technique is, the more she can give full play to her talent and express her religious devotion to beauty.

She once told me that she likes the new style of painting the most.The new school of painting makes the shape into a pattern, and uses color to express the symbolic meaning.It is not a copy of the real thing, but an almost self-fulfilling creation. I think, for this reason, it is especially suitable for her age and talent.She once showed me her paintings when she was in Hong Kong. She painted many human figures on one picture, including women who are good at talking, female cooks with low eyebrows and pleasing eyes asking for instructions from the master, landlady, dancing girls and so on.She said that it was because there was no paper at that time, so the paintings were drawn together, but such paintings together constituted a classical pattern.One of them was a blue-gray color painted by a friend for her. She exclaimed, "It's really like moonlight."

Her novels and essays, like her paintings, have a classical and at the same time a tropical freshness, provoking the sting of birth from the depths of pious life.Her life is like a young man's first love. It is not that her object is so beautiful and sublime, but her own youth creates beauty and sublime and sanctifies the object. When getting along with her, I always feel that she is a nobleman.In fact, she was so poor that she went to the street to buy side dishes.However, standing in front of her, even the most luxurious person would feel threatened, and see that he is poor, but a nouveau riche.This is by no means because she has traditional aristocratic blood, but her unrestrained talent and love to please herself create her aristocratic atmosphere.

The aristocratic atmosphere is originally exclusive, but she is merciful, loving and pleasing herself is originally persistent, but she has a state of selflessness.She writes about the horror and evil of life, cruelty and injustice. When she praises her works, there is a kind of sadness and joy at the same time, because you and the author have forgiven them and caressed the wronged. Forgiveness is because the fearful, evil and cruel people are actually tragic losers, such as Cao Qiqiao in "The Story of the Golden Lock", God's angel will shed tears for her, and weave her story into a song to let the world know love.The heroine of "Flower Withering" suffered a lifetime of grievances until she died, so the author wrote her as a martyr, and used "Eternal Love, Eternal Yiyi" as the inscription on her marble tomb.When I read it, I remembered two lines from the poem I wrote when I was tied: "This is a world of crystal clear tears, but it is beautiful."The author sympathizes with the weakness of the strong in the world, and gives health and joy to the weak in the world.Horror and tenderness, evil and kindness, cruelty and wrongedness in the world, all combined into one when the author raises them to the apex.Whether they are strong or weak, they came to the last judgment together, and the Lord said, "My child, you have been insulted", so the strong and the weak cried together, and they understood each other, and they all became kind and joyful. up.

She is like this: "Because she understands, she is merciful."Christ prayed three times before the cock crowed: "Lord, if it is possible to remove this cup, let it be removed," and finally said: "As the Lord wills, I will drink it up." So he went to the cross and forgave The people who crucified him, and blessed the two robbers who were crucified next to him.She is like this, she always feels that she has endless love for the world. After getting close to her, I gradually understood her character.At first glance, it seems that there is no similarity between her person and her work.Because, if you think of her as proud, pride is against the outside world, if you think of her as humility, then humility is also against the outside world, and her works are so deep into life.But I soon discovered that she was humble and unrestrained.Her humility is not restraint, nor is her unbridled pride.Once she said: "The future world should be masculine", which means that she said in the agarwood crumbs, "It is a light-colored, high-pitched world, full of light and music."When she was a child, she once wanted to write a novel with the background of the Sui and Tang Dynasties, and later recalled: "For me, the Sui and Tang Dynasties were an era of orange and red."When she was still a teenager, she wrote an article called Overlord and Concubine Yu. There was a sentence like this: "We were hunted, but I turned to be a hunter instead" through Xiang Yu's mouth.It can be seen from these places that she has the feminine beauty of Christ and the masculine beauty of the heroes of ancient Greece.Her tone is dark yet bright.When she meets people, she attaches great importance to etiquette, as if she is very restrained. In fact, this etiquette and restraint are exactly what she lacks. It can be seen that she is trying to make up for it, with a little panic of innocence, and restrained indulgence.Once, when several people were together, she was paying attention to etiquette, but then she became agitated, almost stubbornly, in order to defend one person.She is stubborn.

Because she is stubborn and serious, she does not fall, but sees how people fall.only heroes Only heroes who can understand heroes can understand mortals, and those who fall cannot understand how to fall.The subject matter of her work, so there are many characters who fall.Because she has more than enough love and more vitality, she can see the struggle between the love of the weak and the strength of life, just like Liu Yuan in "Love in a Fallen City", the author describes his insincerity, but unconsciously exposes his innocence The sincerity, love and troubles suppressed by oneself.For thousands of years, countless ordinary people have failed, shattered, and abandoned in the dust, but it is they who have cultivated the existence and progress of human beings.They were not wasted, they proved the love of life by failure and disillusionment.Although they are defeated by a small enemy, their life and death struggle is equally respectable as the hero's defeat by a strong enemy.This is what makes the characters in her works so moving.

And because she has more than enough talent, her writing is so beautiful that it melts away, but it is simple. Speaking of her stubbornness, I once imagined, what is the strongest person in the world?If there is such a person, he is so oppressed by a trouble he has never experienced before that he cannot get rid of it. If it overwhelms him, he will thank it, but he can't.He tried to get drunk, trying to make himself weaker, but he still wanted to fail but couldn't.It's like the centaur Qilong was shot by the poisoned arrow of his student Hegels, but he won immortality, and he couldn't die in pain.He prayed to the great god Zeus to take back his immortality so that he could die and end his suffering.This is the sorrow of the strong.But such a person is not the strongest.For there is no joy in his sorrow.

And she achieved her stubbornness in humbleness and grievances, and made this stubbornness solemn.For example, in Chang'an in "The Story of the Golden Lock", her mother finally added an embarrassing tail to the most perfect part of her life. When her lover Tong Shifang left, she wrote: Chang'an "quietly" She followed him and sent out. Her navy blue long-sleeved cheongsam had pale yellow daisies on it. She clasped her hands, her face showing a rare softness. Shifang turned around and said, "Miss Jiang..." She walked over Shifang bowed slightly, turned around and left. Chang'an felt that she was looking at the courtyard in the sun from a considerable distance. Looking down from a tall building, it was clear and friendly. , but have no ability to interfere, the courtyard, the tree, the two people dragging the shadows of depression, no words--a few memories, in the future, they will be put in a crystal bottle and held with both hands--her first is also Last love".This is really a grievance, but it is the strongest protest.Such deep anguish, and "a rare tenderness in the countenance," that no hero in Homer's epic could bear such a great sorrow, and combine at the highest place the sorrow of life and the joy of life.

Because, she belongs to Greece, but also belongs to Christ.She is like the goddess of dawn, with her dreams in the fresh air, but she has endless love for this world. At first, I only read a small part of her works, and I was worried that youth would disappear, and her first love in life would one day pass away. talent will wither.Now, I don't think so anymore.I am convinced that her talent is evergreen.Why?Just because she is not only Greek, but Christian. (two) When it's her turn, I want to start with "Love in a Fallen City".Miss Liusu of the Bai Mansion was divorced at the age of twenty, and went back to her mother's house, where she lived for seven or eight years. After her brother and sister-in-law cheated her of all the money, they tried to force her to leave with lessons and hot words.And she finally left, with a feeling of being wronged, desperately accepting the challenge of evil, trudging through evil, and using her remaining youth as a fate.But it was not all due to anger, but also because the decadent life of the old family, which until now clearly surprised her, buried generation after generation of youth, no sympathy, no remnant of humor, such a desolate sentiment. , making her going away like a flight. She didn't feel this decadent atmosphere before, because she grew up in it.The first time I felt it was probably at the husband's house after marriage.The husband's family and her natal family's White Mansion should be of the same family, just because she is unfamiliar with her. She saw this decadent atmosphere with the eyes of a stranger, but she couldn't be as clear as this time, but she just felt that it was inappropriate.Although the author did not mention the reasons for the divorce, it is not difficult to imagine.So she went back to her natal home, where she had everything she was familiar with as a daughter, and she lived there for another seven or eight years.But after her brother and sister-in-law squeezed her out and made her feel like a stranger in her natal family, she suddenly discovered the decadent atmosphere of this ancient family, which was more uncomfortable than her brother's lessons and sister-in-law's hot words. It is also a gray and airy picture that blends with these lessons and hot words, and falls into a kind of hopeless terror, saying desolately and whispering: "This house is not to be lived in! . . . not to be lived in!" So she left, with resentment, desolation, and joy. But she was not Nora.She is a woman from an old-fashioned family, and with her remaining torch of youth, she is looking for something tender, something fresh, and something real.She attributed this to her second marriage, and that was all she could do. Her opponent Liu Yuan is a selfish man, and it can also be said that he is a decadent character, but it is another kind of decadence.He is on good terms with her and has no intention of marrying her.Such people are often witty and clever, but without enthusiasm.His wit and cleverness made him transparent, radiating a certain kind of brilliance, but it was even more obvious that the fire of his life had been extinguished.Marriage requires piety, and he does not have this piety.He needs a prostitute and a girlfriend, not a wife.He had a relationship with Princess Sahei Ni, who was rather a prostitute to him, and he never regarded her as the same as Tassel.Maintaining such a girlfriend relationship depends on wit and cleverness, not on passion.Liusu hated his move, but there was something she didn't understand about him.Liu Yuan intentionally made an air of kissing her in front of others, but when they met each other, they were calm and relaxed, keeping a distance from each other.It is cunning for him to keep a distance all the time, but there is a certain kind of genuine affection in his closeness with her in front of people.People regard them as a couple, but he is comforting himself with deception, because he is just tired of life, lacks the piety of family life, and has no courage to marry, but he still feels the emptiness in this side, and he needs a couple in disguise. to fill the void.He is selfish and cowardly.One day, he called Liusu in the middle of the night, not to annoy Liusu, but to reveal his own troubles.He spoke love, then canceled it himself.Because of his cowardice, he is also desolate. But Liusu couldn't understand this, and only thought that he was cruel to her and toying with her. She was also selfish, but her selfishness was only because of narrow-mindedness, which was different from Liu Yuan's selfishness because of weakness.When she got angry and went back to Shanghai to live for a while, when Liu Yuan sent a telegram asking her to go to Hong Kong again, she felt so wronged that she failed so much that she had to listen to him and cried.This place, if it is low-handed, is intended to be written as a mixture of joy and anger, or a mixture of shame and shame. In fact, there is absolutely no joy, no anger, not even shame, but only grievances. After returning to Hong Kong, Liu Yuan kissed her one night.The next day he told her that he was leaving for England in a week.He is trying to escape from this thing of himself.Liusu was left in Hong Kong, living alone in a new house he rented for her.Everything is so empty, impractical, so unresolved?No, even dreams are clearer than this.She moved into a new house, "The paint on the doors and windows in the living room is still wet, she tried it with her index finger, and then stuck the sticky fingertips on the wall, sticking a green mark. Why not? This is not against the law? This is her home! She smiled, and simply made a bright green handprint on the dandelion-yellow whitewashed wall.” She wanted to prove it to herself, or she could deceive herself. Then came the war, and Liuyuan and Liusu fled together.In this war, as the author said, the "squeaks..." of stray bullets tore the air and tore the nerves. The light blue sky was torn into strips and fluttered in the cold wind. In the wind At the same time, floating like the tips of countless severed nerves, the bomb exploded with a loud bang, and the whole world went dark, like a gigantic box, the lid was thrown on the ground, and countless Luochouqi hated, It's all locked inside." And more importantly, the stray bullets and bombs tore away the wit and cleverness, selfishness and weakness of Liuyuan and Liusu, leaving a simple man and a woman who rarely spoke but cared for each other Yes, married.The saddest poem that I said earlier: "Death and life are broad——Happy with you, hold your hand, and grow old with you" has now been annotated by real life: "But there is always room for it. For an ordinary couple." The ending of this story is strong. The author portrays the wit and cleverness of Yanagihara and Tassel, but finally denies it, saying: "He is just a selfish man, and she is just a selfish woman." But some readers stay. Because of the playfulness and admiration for Liuyuan and Liusu's witticism, and the fact that there is real humanity and suppressed troubles in this seemingly witty witticism, for such readers, the author may feel lonely Bar. As for the beauty of the sentence, some places are really unattainable.For example: "The thirsty sun sucked in the sea water, gargling, spitting, and splashing. It sucked up all the water on the human body, and the human body became a golden withered leaf, floating lightly. The tassels gradually Feel that strange dizziness and pleasure..." Anyone who has played on the beach of Repulse Bay can probably always appreciate this beauty.Another example is writing that Tassel has just arrived in Hong Kong: "It was a hot afternoon, and the most eye-catching thing to look at was the giant billboards on the pier, red, orange, and pink, reflected in the green sea water, one by one. , a touch of irritating and offensive pigment, up and down, and the fight under the water was extremely lively. Liusu thought, in this exaggerated city, even a tumble, I am afraid it will hurt more than other places, and I can't help feeling seven Get up and down." Fortunately, I think there is no need to explain.And I don't want to list them all, it's better to let readers find out by themselves.