Chapter 56 lantana flower

For a long time, I lived alone in a deep yard.Walking in from the outside, the more you walk, the quieter you are, and the sound of your own footsteps becomes clearer and clearer, as if you are walking from the busy city to the deep mountains.When the footsteps become the sound of footsteps in the valley, I will arrive at the place where I live. The yard is not small, it is paved with square bricks, and there are corridors on three sides.The patio is covered with tree branches, and when you go below, you can enjoy the shade and coolness.Judging from the grandeur of the house and the thickness of the beams and columns, we can vaguely see the prosperity of the year.

There is a source of this prosperity.Hundreds of years ago, it used to be the East Factory of the Ming Dynasty.I don't know how many patriots who care about the country and the people have been imprisoned here, and I don't know how many people have been tortured here, and even lost their lives.It is said that there are still traces of the water prison of that year. By the time I moved in, the prosperity and honor had long since disappeared, but the gloomy and desolate atmosphere remained intact.In addition to the sarcophagi and coffins of the Han Dynasty displayed in the corridor, the ancient stone tablets engraved with seal characters and official characters, as soon as I walked back to this courtyard, I felt as if I had entered an ancient tomb.Such an environment, such an atmosphere, brought my memory back thousands of years; sometimes I seemed to be living in history, as if I had become an ancient person.

This kind of atmosphere suited my mood at the time. I have never believed in ghosts and spirits, so I lived here and remained calm. But there are also times when you are nervous and uneasy.Often in the middle of the night, I suddenly heard the sound of pushing the door, the sound was very loud and strong.I had to get up and have a look.At that time, there were often power outages, so I could only get up in the dark, fumbled for the door, and fumbled out.The courtyard was completely dark, and nothing could be seen. Even the shadows of the trees seemed to be glued together with the darkness, making it impossible to distinguish at all.I only heard a rustling sound on the big toon tree, and then a mio, and two eyes like small electric lights shone at me from the depths of the branches.

Such a place would not have attracted much favor among my frequent friends.A few people who are still interested in talking to me during the day are afraid to walk into this yard at dusk.If something happens and I have to come, I must ask the workers at the gate whether I am really at home, and then I have the courage to trek through the long alley, walk through the deep yard, and come to my house. inside.Once, I went out, but the gatekeeper didn't see me. A friend walked into the yard where I lived.In the dim light of dusk, I could only see the shadows of trees and the courtyard full of sarcophagi, but there was no light on my small window.His legs shook immediately, and it took a lot of effort to drag them out.When we met the next day, talking about this experience, the two laughed at each other.

Do I feel lonely too?It should be said that there are.At that time, it was the era of "Wanjia Momian without Artemisia Lai", and the city of Beijing was in darkness.During the day at school, with young classmates, I can draw some strength and happiness from their vigorous struggle will and vitality, and my spirit is very uplifting.However, at night, when I walked back to this so-called home alone, I seemed to be alone in the world.There was no human voice, no electric lights, and no vitality.In the dim light of the kerosene lamp, all I could see was my own tall, huge, and surprisingly black figure swaying on the walls around me, as if a giant spirit had come to my house.Loneliness came stealthily like a poisonous snake, tormenting me, making me unable to escape between heaven and earth.

At such a time of helplessness, one day, in the evening, as soon as I walked into the yard from the outside, I suddenly smelled a scent that seemed thick and faint.I looked up, and it turned out that the lantana flowers covering the yard were blooming.Before this, I knew that these trees were lantana flowers, but I didn't pay much attention to them.Today they tell me of their existence with their aroma.This seems like a new thing to me.I couldn't help standing under the tree, looking up: a canopy was densely built with fine leaves, and there was a layer of pink filament-like petals on the canopy. Looking from a distance, it looked like green clouds floating up Clouds of red mist.The fragrance is sprinkled from this green cloud, sprinkled all over the yard and my whole body, making me seem to be swimming in the sea of ​​fragrance.

It is also common for flowers to bloom, and it is common for flowers to have fragrance.However, at such a time, in such a place, there are such flowers and such fragrances, I feel very unusual; the fragrance of flowers soothes my loneliness, and I even feel a little grateful. From then on, I fell in love with lantana flower and regarded it as my bosom friend. Beijing was finally liberated. October 1, 1949 brought light and hope to the whole of China and the whole world.This momentous day drew a gap in my life, and I seemed to be alive again.It's a pity that I moved out of that yard soon and said goodbye to those lovely lantana flowers.

Time flies so fast, and now, in the blink of an eye, 13 years have passed.These 13 years are the most important, fulfilling and meaningful 13 years in my life history.I saw a lot of new things, learned a lot of new things, and visited a lot of new places.Of course, I also saw a lot of exotic flowers and plants.I once saw big red flowers blooming on the giant tree of Gao Lingxiaohan in Cape Comorin, the southernmost tip of the Asian continent; famous flowers; I also saw roses growing like saplings in Tashkent.These flowers are very beautiful and moving. However, what I miss deeply is still those ordinary lantana flowers, how I want to see them!

In recent years, there seem to be more lantana flowers in Beijing.In the park, beside the road, in front of the big hotel, and on the lawn, you can see the newly planted lantana flowers.The fine leaves are densely built into canopies, and above the canopy is a layer of pink filament-like petals.Looking from a distance, it looks like clusters of red mist floating on top of the green clouds.The green clouds and red mist floated all over Beijing, setting off the red walls and yellow tiles, adding splendor and fragrance to the people's capital. I was very happy, as if I saw an old friend reunited after a long absence.However, I vaguely feel that these lantana flowers are very different from those in my memory.The leaves are still the same, and the flowers are still the same; in just a dozen years, it will never change its species.What is the difference between them?

I was really confused at first, thinking about it, but I just couldn't explain it.Later, I expanded the scope of my recollection, and instead of fastening it to lantana flowers, I included all the things related to me at that time.No matter how much I like those lantana flowers in the yard, no matter how much I love to recall them, once the scope of memory expands, what is associated with them is either dusk or night rain, or misty and miserable dreams.I seem to never see even a ray of sunshine on those lovely lantana flowers. However, these lantana flowers before my eyes today always seem to be in broad daylight.Even at dusk, in the middle of the night, when I saw them, they seemed to be alive, as if they were bathed in sunlight.They seem to want to compete with the lights and the bright moon.Compared with the lantana flowers in my memory, one is the negative of the camera, the other is the developed photo; one is the shadow, and the other is the light.The lantana flowers in the shadows may be worth nostalgic, but aren’t the lantana flowers in the light more lovely?

Since then, I have fallen in love with the lantana flower in the light, and I also love the contrast between light and shadow hidden in my heart.It can tell me many things, bring me endless strength, give me infinite warmth and happiness; it can also push me forward.I wish that lantana flowers will always be smiling and blooming in this light. October 1, 1962