Chapter 54 Er Yue Lan

In a blink of an eye, somehow, the entire Yanyuan became Er Yuelan's world.February orchid is a common wildflower.The flowers are small, purple and white.There is nothing special about flower shape and color.If there are only one or two, among the flowers, they will never attract anyone's attention.But it wins with many, and every spring, when the wind blows, it will bloom small flowers; at first there are only one, two, and a few.But in a blink of an eye, in one night, it can become a hundred, a thousand, or ten thousand flowers.There is a great momentum to surpass Hundred Flowers. I have lived in Yanyuan for more than forty years.I didn't particularly notice the florets at first.Until the year before last, maybe it was the big year when the Er Yuelan bloomed. I suddenly found that, starting from the small earth hill next to the building where I lived, I walked all over the garden, and everywhere I looked, there were Er Yue Lan.Beside the house, under the fence, in the forest, on the top of the hill, on the slope of the soil, by the lake, wherever there is a gap, there is a cloud of purple air, interspersed with white mist. The universe seemed to have turned purple.

I was in a trance, and suddenly found that Er Yuelan had climbed up the tree, some had already climbed to the top of the tree, and some were trying to climb, even the sound of panting seemed to be heard.I was really surprised: Could it be that Er Yuelan has really become a genius?Taking a closer look, it turns out that some vines in the Eryuelan bush are also blooming. The color of the flowers is exactly the same as the Eryuelan, the only difference is the lack of the white mist.I really think my hallucination is very interesting.With a clear mind, I observed carefully: except for the shape of the flower, the color is really the same.Anyway, I know that these are two kinds of plants, and I have a bottom line in my heart, but in a blink of an eye, I still see Er Yuelan climbing to the branches.Is this real, or an illusion?Just let it go.

After realizing the existence of Er Yuelan, some memories related to Er Yuelan immediately came to mind.Things that were seldom or never thought of before now come to mind; trivial things that were once considered very common now seem very unusual.I suddenly realized clearly that this very ordinary wild flower actually occupies such an important position in my life.I was a little surprised myself. The strands of my memory started from the small earth hill next to the building.This small earth mountain was not surprising at first, only two or three meters high, and it was covered with weeds.When the unhealthy wind was blowing, every time "cleaning", the people living in the whole building were called out to pull weeds, not "greening", but "yellowing".Every time I secretly hate this small mountain with so many weeds.Later, for unknown reasons, the mountain was piled up by one or two meters.In this way, the mountain is quite a bit of a mountain.The pines in the east and the cypresses in the west seem to have regained their youth, and they are lush all year round.The elm tree in the middle, judging from the age of the tree, can only be regarded as the great-grandson of the pine and cypress, but it also has luxuriant branches, with tall branches piercing into the blue sky.

I can't remember when I noticed Er Yuelan on the hill.The flowering of this kind of wild flower probably has a difference between a big year and a small year.When encountering Xiaonian, only a few patches are sparsely opened around the hill.In the new year, the front of the mountain and the back of the mountain will become a large area.Er Yuelan seemed to have gone mad.We often talk about flowers "blooming in full bloom", and the use of the word "angry" is really incomparably wonderful.When Er Yuelan became "angry", it seemed as if she had sucked a primordial force from the depths of the earth, and it was sure to bloom flowers all over the world. The purple energy went straight to the sky, and even the universe seemed to turn purple.

Dongpo's poem said: "People have joys and sorrows, and the moon has cloudy and sunny waxes and wanes. This matter is difficult to complete in ancient times." But the flowers seem to have no joys and sorrows.When they should be on, they are on; when they should be gone, they are gone.They are "changing through the waves", everything goes with the flow, and I don't care about sadness or joy.This is what my Er Yuelan looks like. However, man, the spirit of all things, happens to have feelings, and with feelings there are joys and sorrows.This is really superfluous, but there is no way.People themselves are passionate, and then transfer their love to flowers, "ask flowers with tears in their eyes", and flowers are of course "silent".If the flowers really "speak", wouldn't it frighten people!I understand these reasons very well.However, I still put my joys and sorrows on Er Yuelan.

When the ancestor was still alive, every spring when the orchids were in bloom, she would take a small shovel and a black schoolbag to search for shepherd's purse in the green grass next to the orchids.As long as I see her figure swaying in the purple mist of Er Yuelan, I know that the fragrance of shepherd's purse wonton must be permeated on the lunch or dinner table.When Wanru was still alive, every time she went home, as long as the Er Yue Lan was in bloom, when she left, she would always pass through the purple mist of Er Yue Lan in her left hand and the green smoke of the weeping willow by the lake, and hurried away. Go, and bring my gaze all the way to the bend on the other side of the lake.When the little nanny Yang Ying was still at my house, she also had a relationship with Xiao Shan and Er Yuelan.I once wrote three sentences based on Song poetry: "In the afternoon, I take my partner to look for wild vegetables, and in the evening, I hug the cat to the sunset. At that time, it was only common." I saw them in the moon orchid bush: one black and one white, especially conspicuous in the purple.

All these little things are too commonplace.However, once upon a time, today, the ancestors and Wanru have left us forever and ever.Xiaoying also returned to her hometown in Shandong.As for Huzi and Mimi, they also follow the rules of cats, and they don't know which dark corner in Yanyuan, waiting for the arrival of death.The old ancestor walked away with Wanru, and took my heart away.I also miss Huzi and Mimi.Today, although the sky and the earth are wide and the sun is still shining, I feel boundless loneliness and desolation.Recalling these past events, like clouds and smoke, turned out to be close at hand, but now it is like Penglai Lingshan, which is beyond reach.

For my mood and all my encounters, my Er Yuelan is not at all indifferent, and it blooms by itself.This year is another big year for February orchids to bloom.On the campus, everywhere you look, Er Yuelan is everywhere.Beside the house, under the fence, in the forest, on the top of the hill, on the soil slope, by the lake, wherever there is a gap, there is a cloud of purple air, interspersed with white mist. The universe seemed to have turned purple. All this tells me that Er Yuelan will not change, and the vicissitudes of the world are like floating clouds to it.But I am changing, month by month, year by year.I want to stay the same and respond to all changes, but I can't.I want to learn Er Yuelan, but I can't.Not only that, but it forced my memory back to the worst time in my life.During the ten-year catastrophe, I myself jumped out against the "Lafayette" of Peking University, my home was ransacked, and I was labeled as a "counter-revolutionary".It was at the time when the orchids were blooming in February that I was subjected to controlled labor reform.For a long time, I went to a place every day to pick up broken bricks and tiles, and I was always ready to be escorted by the Red Guards to "criticize" somewhere.But in the cracks between the bricks and tiles, Er Yuelan is still open and content, smiling at the spring breeze, as if mocking me.

I was having a really hard time.I know that justice is in my own hands, but right and wrong are reversed, and it is difficult to distinguish between monsters and monsters. I don't answer every day, I don't answer every day, I am full of righteous indignation, full of grievances, and have no fun in life.For a long time, I became an "untouchable person". I haven't received a letter for several years, and few people dare to say hello to me.Although I live in the world, I am actually a different kind. However, as soon as I got home, the ancestors, Dehua, and the others, when each of them could only get a gift of more than ten yuan a month for living expenses, tried their best to get some delicious food, hoping to increase my income. Nutrition; more importantly, I hope it can add some fun to my life.Wanru and Yanzong also came home as often as possible.My kitten is cute and cuddly, snuggling by my side.They do not understand philosophy and cannot distinguish between two types of contradictions of different nature.People regard me as a different kind, and they regard me as a friend, and they never express their position and want to draw a clear line with me.All these very ordinary trifles brought me immense comfort.Although it was frozen for thousands of miles outside the window, the room was warmly heated.I think, in the heat of the world, there are still those who are not cold.This little bit of heating supported me, and I went through the most difficult part of my life without falling into a deep ravine, until today.

I feel sadness and joy. Today, the heavens are moving, whether it is extremely peaceful, somehow, I suddenly became a "very contactable person", everywhere I hear beautiful words, and everywhere I see a pleasant smile.I am grateful from the bottom of my heart to my old and new friends, they are absolutely sincere.They encouraged me, they inspired me.However, once I got home, although Dehua and Yanzong were still there, where did my ancestor go?Where has my Wanru gone?And where did my Huzi and Mimi I go?Although the world is still bright and the sun is still bright, I feel strangely lonely and desolate.

I feel joy, not sorrow. I am an octogenarian, and the road ahead is limited.A few years ago, I wrote a short article called, the meaning is very concise, and I have a characteristic in my life: I don’t want to bother people.Anyone who knows me will admit it.Do I have to change this characteristic in the last part of my life?No, no, don't want to change.I really want to learn from the old cat. When the deadline comes, I get into a dark corner and quietly pass away alone. This is going too far.I don't think there is an immediate need for an action plan.I still have a lot to do and my health allows me to do it.A young friend said that I forgot my age.This makes perfect sense.But I haven't forgotten all about it.There's a problem I still want to figure out.Ordinarily, I have already reached the age of "sorrows and joys are always ruthless", so I should be a little detached.However, before leaving this world, I still have one thing on my mind: I want to find out, what is "sorrow"?What is "Huan"?Is it sad when I become "untouchable"?Or is it time to become a "very contactable person"?If the ancestors and Wanru hadn't passed away, this issue would have been clear, but now it is difficult to distinguish joys and sorrows.I want an answer.I walked up the hill that I must climb several times a day. I asked the pine, and the pine said nothing; I asked the cypress, and the cypress didn't answer.I asked Er Yuelan, who had witnessed my joys and sorrows for more than 30 years, and she was silent, standing in full bloom, smiling at the spring breeze, and the purple air rushed straight to Xiaohan. Completed on June 11, 1993