Chapter 51 Standing in front of the tomb of Mr. Hu Shizhi

I am now standing in front of the tomb of Mr. Hu Shizhi.Although he has been buried in the ground, his typical "my friend" smile is still in my eyes.But the last time I saw this smile was 50 years ago. In mid-December 1948, it was the 50th anniversary of the founding of Peking University.At this time, the People's Liberation Army had surrounded Beiping City, but the people in the city were not panicked.The colleagues and students of Peking University were not panicked; moreover, not only were they not panicked, but in their hearts, some were very eager and some were a little suspicious, and they were all looking forward to welcoming the PLA.It coincided with the great celebration of Peking University, and many professors were beaming with joy and gathered in the beach hall to hold the celebration.I remember that Mr. Shizhi, as the principal, gave a short speech with a smile on his face, only festive content, no sad tone.At this time, there was a rumbling cannon outside the city.Everyone joked with each other: "The People's Liberation Army fired a salute to Peking University!" After the brief ceremony, Mr. Shizhi said goodbye to everyone, boarded the plane, and flew to Nanjing.I suddenly thought of a few words of Li Houzhu: "The most hasty resignation from the temple, the church still sings farewell songs, and weeps at the maid." I want to rewrite it to describe the scene of Mr. Shizhi at that time: "The most hasty On the day of resigning from school, the sound of gun salutes outside the city, and farewell to friends with a smile." How did I know that our meeting this time was actually the last time.If I had realized it at the time, it would have been unbearable.

From then on, Mr. Shizhi and I went our separate ways and went our separate ways.It is said that after he left Peiping, he sent a special plane from Nanjing to pick up some old friends by name, and he personally waited for them at Nanjing Airport.After the plane returned, the cabin door opened, and he hoped to meet his old friend.However, all but one or two of the people he wanted to pick up did not come out of the cabin.It's said—it's just said that he cried a lot at that time, and the feeling in his heart may be really inexplicable to outsiders. Mr. Shizhi did not stay long in Nanjing. After "a million soldiers crossed the river", he also fled to Taiwan.Later, I went to the United States to live for a few years, but my ambitions were not met. The glory of the past was like a dream, and it no longer existed.And then back to Taiwan...

Now I am standing in front of Mr. Shizhi's tomb. After bowing, I feel sad, and my heart is full of thoughts, like a stormy sea, and tears flow out naturally.Du Fu has a poem: "If you know it for 20 years, you will go to the gentleman's hall again." Now I am "I know it for 50 years, and I will visit the tomb personally."At this time, my mood is not humane. I myself have reached the ninth year of Wangwang, and I am only a few steps away from the underworld or paradise where Mr. Shizhi stayed.Recalling my rough and smooth life of more than 80 years, it is really like a "Twenty-Four Histories", I don't know where to start.

With 80 years of experience, I believe that if a person wants to achieve something in this world, he must meet three conditions: talent, diligence, and opportunity.It's the same in everything, everyone is the same, and there is no exception.Let's not talk about others, just talk about myself.Regarding talent, no matter how humble you are, you can't call yourself an idiot.However, I am not a genius. I still have this self-knowledge.When it comes to hard work, I think I can pass it by, so I don't need to feel ashamed.However, I am focusing on the third item: opportunity.If I have achieved anything in my life, it is mainly by chance.The connotation of opportunity is very complicated, and I will only talk about one of them, the mentor.Han Yu said: "Ancient scholars must have teachers. The reason why teachers preach, receive karma, and solve doubts." According to these three tasks of teachers, teachers are kind to students.However, among the world languages ​​that I know, only Chinese has "en" and "teacher" tightly embedded together and become an inseparable noun.This can only be explained that the Chinese know how to repay their teachers best, which is beyond the reach of other nations.

My opportunity in academic research is that I have met 6 mentors who have taught me or been kind to me in my life. I may not have listened to all of their lectures, but reading their books is also a kind of teaching.When I was studying at Tsinghua University, I read all the published works of Mr. Chen Yinke, and listened to his "Buddhist scripture translation literature", thus planting the seeds of studying Sanskrit and Pali.After being a Chinese teacher for a year or so, I went to the University of Göttingen in Germany because of a chance that fell from the sky.In the second semester after I enrolled, Mr. Waldschmidt was transferred to the University of Göttingen as a chair professor of Indology.When I saw his circular in basic Sanskrit in front of the Academic Affairs Office, I was ecstatic. "If you break through the iron shoes, there is nowhere to find it, and it takes no effort to get it." Isn't this a god-given opportunity?In the first two semesters, I was the only foreign student who took Sanskrit.However, the professor still obeys the teaching, and prepares the lesson well, explains it meticulously, looks majestic and meticulous.I am almost the only student who monopolizes the classroom, and I can imagine how much I have benefited from it. "World War II" broke out, and Mr. Waldschmidt was conscripted into the army.The retired former Indian chair professor Sik, although over eighty years old, resolutely stepped onto the podium again, teaching me a Chinese student.Mr. Sik soon told me that he would teach me all the tricks of his life, including "Rig Veda", "Dashu", "Biography of Ten Princes", and it took him 20 years to interpret In the field of Tocharian research, he is the highest authority in the world.I am not a genius, six or seven foreign languages ​​have already filled my tiny head, and I don't want to stuff it into Tocharian.However, Mr. Thick, like my grandfather, told me his decision, not asking for an opinion at all.The only path I can take is: respectful obedience.Recalling now, after the heavy snow in winter, I took classes at the institute. It was almost dusk, and the ten-mile long street was covered with white snow.The snow is thick and the road is slippery, the sky is dark, the ground is shining with snow, and the road is quiet and no one is there. I helped the old man, one step up, one step down, and sent him home.I have never met my grandfather, and now I really feel that the old man beside me is my grandfather.For the sake of academics, he spared no effort to die and his own health, and wanted to pass on the mantle to me, a young man from a foreign country.At this time, thoughts in my heart were churning, gratitude and warmth coexisted, and worries and love rushed.I really don't know where I am.

During World War II, I was trapped in Germany and stayed there for 10 years. After the end of World War II, I heard that Mr. Yin Ke was seeking medical treatment in England. I quickly wrote him a letter of tribute, and attached a paper written in German published in the Journal of the Göttingen Academy of Sciences, reporting to him my 10-year history. academic performance.I soon received a reply from him, asking me if I would like to teach at Peking University.Peking University is the highest university in the country and is famous all over the world; however, the threshold has always been extremely high, and it is difficult for ordinary people to enter.Now that a god-given opportunity has come to me, I have no reason to be unwilling!I wrote back immediately agreeing.Mr. Yinke recommended me to Mr. Hu Shizhi, the then president of Peking University, Mr. Fu Sinian, the acting president, and Mr. Tang Yongtong, the dean of literature.Mr. Yinke has a very high reputation in the academic circle, and he speaks his mind.The three leaders of Peking University accepted it immediately.So I, a young man in his thirties, with no real name in domestic academic circles, walked into the gate of Peking University openly.In the Tang Dynasty, when he became a Jinshi, he would "be proud of the horseshoe disease in the spring breeze, and see all the flowers in Chang'an in one day."Although I haven't seen all the flowers in Peking in one day, as a professor and head of the Department of Oriental Languages ​​and Literatures at Peking University, I feel a little complacent, isn't it human nature?

In the following three years, I studied and worked under the leadership of Mr. Shizhi and Mr. Xiyu (Tang Yongtong), and spent a period of unforgettable years.Mr. Shizhi and I, although we have different academic seniority and social status, we don't think we will get in touch with too much.However, in fact, it is not the case. There are many opportunities for us to meet.I was almost a regular visitor to his cramped and simple principal's office in the east room in front of the Zhimin Hall.As the head of the department, I have to report to the principal for instructions. He is the chief editor of an academic supplement in the newspaper, and I am a writer, so I often talk about academic issues. The most commendable thing is that he is kind and kind to everyone. Smiling all over the face, this is true for professors, staff, students, and workers.I have never seen him put on the celebrity airs and professor airs that were quite popular at that time.In addition, we often have the opportunity to meet at the professor meeting, the tutor meeting of the Institute of Liberal Arts of Peking University, and the review meeting of the Beijing Library.As a young junior, I never feel awkward in front of him, and I often feel like I am sitting in the spring breeze.

Mr. Shizhi is very humorous, he is not old-fashioned, but lively and interesting.There is one little thing that I will never forget.Once a professor meeting was held, and Mr. Yang Zhensheng received a new valuable ancient painting. In order to let everyone appreciate it, he brought the painting to the meeting, opened it and spread it on a huge table, and everyone praised it.At this time, Mr. Shizhi suddenly stood up, walked to the table, rolled up the scroll, and put it in his sleeve, which made everyone laugh and beam with joy. At this time, Indian Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru sent the famous Indian scholar Dr. Shi Jueyue to Peking University as a visiting professor, and also sent more than a dozen Indian male and female students to study in Peking University. This is also a major event between China and India.Mr. Shizhi entrusted me to take care of Indian scholars old and young.He met them many times and hosted a banquet to welcome them.When Shi Jueyue gave his first speech, Mr. Shizhi attended in person and gave a welcome speech in English, talking about the friendly relations between China and India in history, and introducing Shi Jueyue's academic achievements, which shows that he attaches great importance to this matter.

When Mr. Shizhi was studying in the United States, he was busy studying the West, especially American philosophy and culture, and was busy studying ancient Chinese pre-Qin classics. He had not conducted systematic and in-depth research on Indian culture and Buddhism.It is said that later, because he wanted to finish writing "History of Chinese Philosophy", in order to make up for his own shortcomings, he began to seriously study Chinese Zen Buddhism and the cultural relationship between China and India.When I was studying in Germany, I was too busy working with Sanskrit, Pali, Tocharian and Buddhist scriptures, so I didn’t have enough time to study the history of Sino-Indian cultural relations.After returning to China, due to the lack of books and materials, as a last resort, I began to pay attention to the research on the history of cultural exchanges between China and India.In the three years before liberation, I only wrote two decent academic papers: one is "Buddha and Buddha" and the other is "Liezi and Buddhist scriptures".The issue discussed in the first article is exactly the issue where Mr. Shizhi and Mr. Chen Yuan'an quarreled until their faces turned red.I solved this problem based on Tocharian.I didn't dare to offend the two elders, so I only adopted an attitude of sitting on the fence.I think Mr. Shizhi will not fail to read this paper.I only went to Tsinghua Garden to read it to my teacher, Mr. Chen Yinke.With his approval, he introduced it to the extremely high-ranking "Journal of the Institute of History and Philology of the Academia Sinica" for publication.After the second article was finished, I showed it to Mr. Shizhi, and the next day he wrote me a letter, which said: "The proof of the "Sheng Jing" is extremely convincing!" finished reading.He admitted my conclusion, which is undoubtedly a great encouragement to me.This time, I came to Taiwan. A few days ago, I heard the speech of the chairman, Academician Li Yiyuan, at the conference. In the middle, he said that Mr. Shizhi often sat and chatted with young researchers in his later years.Once, he said that learning should be like Ji Xianlin of Peking University.When I first heard it, I had mixed feelings.What Mr. Shizhi said must be related to the above two articles, and it may also be related to some articles I wrote in the ten years after we broke up.This shows that Mr. Shizhi has been paying attention to my academic research until his later years.A sense of confidant arises spontaneously.Are there any other thoughts I might have in this case?

In terms of politics, it is well known that Mr. Shizhi does not approve of communism.However, we should not forget that he also opposed the Three People's Principles.I think, in his mind, the best politics in the world is American politics, and the most democratic country in the world is the United States.This is related to his personal experience and philosophical beliefs.They experimentalists do not advocate any "ultimate truth", and all "isms" in the world are similar to "ultimate truth", so he opposes it.He has no deep hatred for the Communist Party.He himself said that he had never written an article criticizing communism in his life, but he had written articles opposing the Kuomintang.I can tell two little things that I saw with my own eyes.On the eve of Liberation, students in Peking took demonstrations at every turn, such as the "Shen Chong incident", "anti-hunger and anti-persecution" and so on, all of which were directed by the CCP's underground party. This is well known. How could Mr. Shizhi I don't know!However, every time the gendarmes and police of the Kuomintang in Beiping arrested students, he would take his car, which was rarely seen in Peking at that time, and run between the various government offices, forcing the Kuomintang authorities to release the students.He also personally wrote letters to the dignitaries in Nanjing stationed in Beiping for the same purpose.These letters are said to still exist today.Personally, I think this is no longer a trivial matter.Another thing is that one day I went to the principal's office to see Mr. Shizhi.A student came in and said to him: Last night, the Yan'an Radio Station broadcasted to him on a special line, hoping that he would not leave. After the liberation of Peking, he will be appointed as the president of Peking University and the director of the Beijing Library.After hearing this, he smiled and said to the student: "Does he trust me?" The conversation ended here.He couldn't help but understand the identity of this student, but not only did he not complain, he was furious, and his attitude was still kind and kind.See the big from the small, these small things are thought-provoking.

Mr. Shizhi gained a great reputation as a young man and was well-known among scholars.In my opinion, he was in a contradiction and a vicious circle all his life: academic research on the one hand, and political and social activities on the other.He has been busy all his life, rushing around, and as a "pawn crossing the river", he goes forward bravely.I don't know if he himself realizes that he is in a strange circle.The authorities are obsessed, but the bystanders are clear. I think this vicious circle does exist, and it is very serious.So, what do I think about this issue?I think that no matter how Mr. Shizhi defines himself, he has been a scholar all his life, or to put it bluntly, a nerd.I also cite a small matter.Once, when a review meeting was held in the Beijing Library, Mr. Shizhi rushed to the meeting at the beginning of the meeting. He first announced that there was another important meeting and he would leave early. "Shui Jing Zhu".As soon as he heard "Shui Jing Zhu", Mr. Shizhi immediately became full of energy, his eyebrows danced with joy, and his eloquence flowed freely.He didn't leave the meeting until the end of the meeting, and he was in high spirits, as if he was going to fight at night with the lights on.Can't we see the big from the small from such a small example? I talked about Mr. Shizhi's many virtues above, which are now generally called "advantages".I think that what I admire the most and what moves me the most is that he rewarded the backward all his life. "I don't understand the kindness of Tibetans all my life, and I meet people everywhere who talk about Xiang Si." He is exactly such a person.The list of such examples is too numerous to mention.China is a very strange country. On the one hand, there is the only "teacher" I mentioned above; on the other hand, there is a tiger who worships a cat as a teacher. The cat left behind a trick of climbing a tree and did not teach the tiger. , a folktale that survived being eaten by apprentices.The two are obviously somewhat contradictory.Mr. Shizhi has always encouraged young people. In the 1940s, he met young scholars Zhou Yiliang and Yang Liansheng at Harvard University in the United States, and greatly appreciated their talents and achievements.Later, Zhou Yiliang returned to China, tended to progress, and participated in the revolution. The results are well known.Yang Liansheng stayed in the United States. During the long period of 20 to 30 years, he corresponded with Mr. Shizhi to discuss studies and sang with each other. He also made great achievements in academic achievements and became famous overseas.Zhou's talent and skill can only be said to be higher than Yang's. Although he has also shown some achievements in academics, but due to the situation, it can't help but make people feel that his talents have not been fully utilized.After seeing what happened to the two, can we be indifferent? Mr. Shizhi and I parted ways at the celebration party of the Lonely People Hall. From then on, the sky was cloudy and we were separated, and we never saw each other again, nor did we communicate with each other.I will now talk about my situation and the situation in mainland China.Like the vast majority of middle-aged and elderly intellectuals and teachers, I yearn for light and progress with absolute piety.I feel that I have really stood up, and I feel like I have become a fairy and become a fairy, and I am a little carried away.From a low level where I was a little shy to call anyone long live, once I set foot on the road of "revolution", I climbed up step by step and galloped forward; coupled with the wisdom of heaven, boundless piety, and wholeheartedly, I devoted myself to the god-making movement.As the saying goes: "Everyone gathers firewood, and the fire burns high." Everyone pooled their brains and efforts to create a god, and then worshiped it by themselves, completely voluntarily and without any reluctance.Seriously carry out ideological transformation on myself.I originally thought that although I was an intellectual, although I had shortcomings, I was not guilty; however, people who couldn’t stand the red seedlings in the society kept shouting in your ears every day: "You intellectuals have dirty bodies and stinky ideas!" Said: "A lie told a thousand times becomes the truth." This statement should be in us, and it has accumulated for a long time to become a sense of "original sin". Transformation, transformation, and transformation, until the transformation is ignorant, "between the two cliffs, there is no debate."However, nirvana is hard to look forward to, and the sea of ​​suffering is boundless, but I still worship endlessly.After countless campaigns until ten years of catastrophe, I was locked in a cowshed and beaten until one Buddha was born and two Buddhas ascended to heaven. His skin was bruised, and he continued to worship. His sincerity was truly shocking.After the reform and opening up, there was only a little crack in my head, "I feel that today is true and yesterday was not", but I am approaching my octogenarian age, dying of old age, and I have left the full-grown growth that Lu Xun mentioned in his article "Passing Passer". The lilies are not too far away. As for Mr. Shizhi, I have touched on the situation after he left Peking University; generally speaking, I am not very clear about it, and I cannot be clear about it.In 1954, starting with the criticism of the bourgeois idealism in Mr. Yu Pingbo's "A Study of a Dream of Red Mansions", the fire of criticism finally reached Mr. Shizhi.This is an absent critique.Shizhi is far away from the ocean, sitting on the mountain and watching the tigers fight.Even if he was the one being fought, anyway, he couldn't hurt a single hair, and he was happy to watch the battle.His name seemed to have become a scarecrow.Covered in arrows, an out-and-out "arrow stack", all the heroes on the mainland, all of them are vying to be the first, and all the arrows are fired, Mr. Shizhi stands still.I imagined that this must be a very rare landscape.After wasting a lot of paper and pen and ink, time and energy, it eventually became a farce of "bamboo basket fetching water in vain". Mr. Shizhi passed away suddenly in 1962, and his death has passed seventy years. In the academic history of China, this can be regarded as an advanced age, but measured by today's standards, it seems that he should have lived longer.In ancient China, it was said that "the benevolent live long", but Mr. Shizhi can only say that "the benevolent do not live long".At that time, the "leftist" wind was still raging in the mainland, and most people probably thought that Hu Shi was already beaten to the ground, with a thousand feet stepped on his body, and he would never stand up again.The death of such a person is nothing to be surprised about!So there was no reaction in newspapers and magazines.Of course I myself was kept in the dark and knew nothing.Ten or twenty years later, when some light began to seep into my head, the more I thought about it, the more I felt bad. I once wrote a short article "Say a few words for Hu Shi", and I didn't even have the courage to use the word "Mr." In addition, some people advised me not to publish it.The article was finally published, and the response was not satisfactory. At least no one came to track me down. A stone fell from my heart.In recent years, the wind of reform and opening up has greened the land of China, and the mentality of intellectuals has changed significantly. The shackles on the body have been removed, and the sense of original sin has also disappeared.The muddy water splashed on his body was gradually removed, and he no longer had to live with his tail between his legs every day.This kind of ideological and emotional liberation has greatly increased their enthusiasm, and they are willing to contribute their strength to the prosperity of the motherland.The publishing industry also caught up and published several "Hu Shi's Collected Works".Anhui Education Publishing House is the most ambitious, and plans to publish a "Complete Works of Hu Shi" with more than 20 million words.I never imagined that the publishing house would favor me for the very important position of editor-in-chief.I'm not an expert on Hu Shi's research. I'm sincere and fearful, and I dare not agree.But the publishing house said that I am the only one who has worked with Mr. Shizhi at Peking University and has been with him more frequently.The evidence is so strong that I can only "look up" (not "bow") to agree.I also want to repay the kindness of knowing and encountering in this way.I wrote a 17,000-word general preface with the subtitle: Returning Hu Shi to His True Colors.The meaning is nothing more than trying to set things right and set the scene straight.Not long ago, someone invited me to write an article about Mr. Shizhi in "Xuelin Past" for the same reason as before, and I agreed and finished writing it after returning from Taiwan due to illness.The subtitle of this article is: After all, a scholar.The reason is that the previous subtitle is too full, how can I have the ability to return Mr. Shizhi's true colors?The latter subtitle is to say that my views on Mr. Shizhi are more realistic. I talked about some trivial and non-trivial things on it, and it's all gone, leaving only a few precious memories.I really never imagined that in the ninth year of Wangwang, I would still be able to come to Treasure Island. This is something I never even dared to think about before.After arriving in Taipei, I discovered that the old friends I met in Peiping 50 years ago, such as Liang Shiqiu, Yuan Tongli, Fu Sinian, Mao Zishui, Yao Congwu, etc., had all passed away.I was really "visiting the old half as a ghost, exclaiming with enthusiasm".The long distance between heaven and earth is a law of nature, which cannot be resisted by manpower. Now I am standing in front of Mr. Shizhi's tomb, and my mind is full of thoughts. For 50 years, thousands of miles across, the past is like clouds and smoke, and it is as vivid as the present.In ancient China, there is a story about Yu Boya throwing the piano in front of Zhong Ziqi's tomb, and there are many stories about burning manuscripts in front of the tomb of his best friend.According to this old theory, I should bring my newly published "Collected Works" to Mr. Shizhi's tomb and burn it, as a report to him of the results of my lifelong scientific research.However, although my mind was confused at this time, my mind was still clear, and I did not do this.I looked around the cemetery, and saw that the stone steps were neat and circling upwards. The mausoleum was extremely majestic, covered with huge stones, and the epitaph was written by Mao Zishui himself. , are all glittering and dazzling.Standing there, I suddenly looked up, and Mr. Shizhi's charming and typical "my friend" smile suddenly appeared in front of my eyes. Fifty years shrank into a moment, and history seemed to have not moved.However, I must be careful, and I suddenly thought of my age. After all, history has moved, but I don't feel depressed at all.Now I have a great feeling of "an old man with a long-term ambition".I believe that one day, I will have the opportunity to come back to Baodao and stand in front of the tomb of Mr. Shizhi again. Written on May 2, 1999