Chapter 5 Zen life

my life experience Zen life Ms. Yang from Zhejiang People's Publishing House wrote to me, saying that she would edit a set of "Zen Fun Life" series, "the content can include all aspects of Buddhism, Zen and life." "We hope that through contemporary scholars' philosophical thinking about life, we can give readers, especially young readers, some influence of traditional Chinese culture, and leave a small piece of pure land for today's reading and cultural circles that are inundated by mass culture, and also for today's I will do my best to rebuild the humanistic spirit." Undoubtedly, these are extremely wonderful ideas, meaningful and valuable, and I agree and support them without reservation.

However, I did not reply immediately.The reason is definitely not my arrogance and self-importance, but because I feel that the task is too great, and I am afraid to accept it rashly.There is also a bit of self-knowledge and prejudice mixed in with it.I was born with no roots of wisdom, and I am not interested in things like philosophy and righteousness.Especially Zen, I feel more headache.Half of it is because I can't read it.I always feel that this set of things is in a trance, without a trace.Zen scholars often use the metaphor of "an antelope hanging its horns, but no trace can be found", and the metaphor is vivid and appropriate.But therein lies the difficulty.Since there is no trace to be found, what are we looking for?Zhuangzi said that when you catch the fish, you forget the trap, and when you are proud, you forget the words.I really don't know what I got here, and what I forgot. There are many treatises on Zen in ancient and modern China and abroad.I did read quite a bit, too.But, to be honest, I haven't seen any book or anyone who can explain "Zen" clearly.

Maybe the beauty is that it is not clear.As soon as it is made clear, it is a word of words.Once the words are dropped, the fun will be lost.This kind of aesthetic realm and ideological realm cannot be understood by Westerners.They demand analysis, analysis, and reanalysis of everything.According to my personal opinion, analysis is only one of the ways of thinking of people. In addition, there is a comprehensive way of thinking, which is unique to or at least what we Orientals are good at.I am currently reading Chaos Talk by Miao Dongsheng and Liu Huajie. "Chaos" is a new but promising subject.I have repeatedly advised people, especially young people, to pay attention to "fuzzy science" and "chaos science". Now that I have such a book, I have a basis for what I say, and I am confident.Let me quote a passage from this book first: "Traditional scientific research based on precise observation, experiment and logical argument has encountered unprecedented difficulties after entering the field of phenomena that are far beyond the reach of human perception. Because In these phenomenal fields, it is not feasible to explore the mysteries of nature only by experiment, abstraction, and logical reasoning. It is necessary to combine rationality and intuition. For objects whose cognition scale is too small or too large, intuitive epiphany and overall grasp Very important." These thoughts, I have had.After I read this book, I feel like the footsteps of the empty valley.For Chinese "Zen", can we also "cut in" from here (I also learned to use a new term), to understand and master it?I can't tell yet.

It's getting too far, I'd better "get back to the book"!I was basically talking about "self-knowledge" above.Now let's talk about "prejudice".My "prejudice" is mainly against philosophy, against "giri".As I said above, I'm not interested in this.I have a dull head, and I like to touch and see things, that is, physical things.Philosophy is too abstruse, too harmonious, like a powerful and unconstrained style.Moreover, the public says that the public is right, and the mother-in-law says that the mother-in-law is right.It is reasonable to say this today; it is reasonable to say that tomorrow.Some philosophers observe the universe, life and society, and sometimes have very profound and astute opinions, which amaze me.But, it is said, a really great philosopher must be in his own right.If the system fails, it must be pursued.Once the system is formed, it is neither smooth nor unobtrusive, but stretched to the limit, and the feet fit properly.I can't play this set of things.Therefore, among the three subject systems of the old era: righteousness, rhetoric, and textual research, I prefer the latter two and dare not touch the former.This is all limited by talent, not any complaints about Giri.

The above is my basic state of mind. Now Ms. Yang is looking down on me and wants me to do "philosophical thinking" and talk about "Zen fun". How can I not be sincere and fearful?This is the real reason why I put my letter on hold.My wishful thinking is that if I put it aside for a while and Ms. Yang will take on the important role of editor, after a long time, I will forget about it and I can be at ease. However, the facts were beyond my expectation. Not only did she not forget, but she also made long-distance calls and went straight to Huanglong, which made me have no escape between heaven and earth.I am a little ashamed and a little scared.However, what I think in my heart is: follow the established policy.I quickly explained that I was used to writing textual research articles.Regarding "Zen", I have only written one article, and I wrote it only when I was caught off guard. Of course, it belongs to the category of "wild foxes".I said a lot of things to her, but in fact I had "bad intentions" and wanted to shove the matter away and give me a free life.

But I never expected that just when I was quite proud, Ms. Yang's long-distance call came again, and it was twice.In the past, Liu Xianzhu visited the thatched cottage three times and invited Mr. Wolong to come out of the mountain to jointly seek hegemony.Despise me boy, how dare I look at Mr. Wolong's neck!Wouldn't it be too ignorant to refuse three invitations?I blamed myself and decided to take this matter seriously.I drew up a preliminary selection.After looking at it myself, I found it funny, and the choice was still mostly based on textual research.I'm probably terminally ill, my head has turned into granite, and I'm on the verge of dying.So I decided to change course, and with the help of Mr. Li Zheng, my assistant for many years, I finally chose the present one.It cannot be said that it does not involve the interest of Zen, nor can it be said that it does not involve life.However, looking at these articles together, my own impression is a bowl of Jinghai chowder.But why would you dare to show this kind of thing to others?Isn't it better to "hide your clumsiness" by yourself?My answer is: I tell the truth in any article, and I don't tell half a lie.Moreover, I have reached an octogenarian age, and I have not always walked on the Sunshine Avenue in my life, and I have walked a lot of single-plank bridges.Therefore, I have tasted enough of sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, sorrow, joy, separation, and union.Posting it as an article may be helpful to readers, especially young readers.That's why I dared to take it out.If readers—whether they are old, middle-aged or young—can really learn something beneficial from my perception of life in more than eighty years, then I will be very satisfied.As for the ideas or requirements mentioned in Ms. Yang's letter, whether I can meet them or to what extent, I have to ask Ms. Yang to judge for herself.It is for sequence.

August 15, 1995 at Peking University Yanyuan (This article is the preface to the book "Life Talk")