Chapter 37 postscript

Why do we always force children to "study hard" instead of letting them force themselves to "study happily"? Be strong, independent, free and happy! Education is "love to be happy"! On June 20, 2003, I saw an amazing news on TV—— A pair of twin sisters in Guizhou, because they did not pass the high school entrance examination, teamed up to poison their parents with rat poison, and then took their parents' money to play around. After being arrested, they said that they had experienced freedom that they had never had before. Then, I returned to Taipei, opened the newspaper, and saw another shocking report.It is said that a girl in the fourth grade of an elementary school in Banqiao, Taipei County, may have symptoms of round baldness due to excessive academic pressure; fortunately, on the same page, there is another piece of gratifying news-a girl who fails every math test Between zero and 20 points, make-up exams are always required; when taking part in the college entrance examination, he failed, and his math was even worse, with only four points.Due to too much academic pressure, she was severely anxious. She kept wiping her nose every day, used up a box of tissues a day, and unconsciously pulled out her hair, resulting in round baldness.But the "plot" took a turn for the worse. The girl named Fu Yilin later applied to a school in the United States. After arriving in the United States, she found that the mathematics level of the university was similar to that of Taiwan's junior high school. She actually got an "A" in mathematics.Then I went all the way up, not only got a master of business administration in Berkeley, California, but now I also got a Ph.D. in psychology from Queen's University in the UK.

A few days later, I invited two students who used to study painting with me to dinner in Taipei. One was a well-known film critic in Taiwan. Now he has become a judge of the Golden Horse Awards and a famous playwright; the other is a student who was brought to my office by the teacher because of severe depression in junior high school and asked me to guide him.Although her grades in middle school were not good, she later participated in an international student exchange and went to high school in the United States. After seven years, she is not only healthy and happy, but also has excellent grades. She has applied for a scholarship and is about to enter a graduate school.

My son was there that day, and it reminded me of the same question I've been asked by younger friends over the years— "If your son was educated in Taiwan, would he be where he is today?" Every time my answer is "I'm afraid not, I'm afraid he will be like his father in middle school, often failing two subjects." The problem is, although he was engaged in clubs and popular music every day in high school, and went to Juliet to major in piano and composition, and spent a lot of time helping me sort out materials, he actually got into Harvard. Every time "he" is with students from domestic universities, I secretly think that those domestic children have more K books than him, and their knowledge is many times better than him.

But I also wondered: Why do Harvard students seem to be no worse than those of National Taiwan University? Then the students in Taiwan who have suffered so much for ten years, is it worth it? Can the old days be regained in the future? A few days later, the middle school basic academic ability test will be held.After the exam was over, many parents complained that the exam questions were too simple, so simple that their gifted children failed in the exam. "Because he didn't believe it would be so simple, he thought that there must be an ambush in the question, and he thought too much, and then he made a mistake." Several parents complained that this kind of question could not pass the test.

The wonderful thing is that this reminds me of the time before I left the United States. My daughter said that she had a question in the math final exam that the teacher didn't teach, but went to a classmate who taught outside school.The teacher said that because he didn't teach, he didn't count points, and the students who knew it protested that it was unfair.The teacher actually replied: "If I calculate points and encourage you to go to tutoring, it is really unfair." The questions in the junior high school test are actually very lively.It can be seen that the main tester hopes to let the students read the living book instead of memorizing it rotely, and then use this "living question" to force the school teacher to change the rigid teaching method.

But, like the parents of those students who complained to me, would they complain when they found that the teacher taught me too little? When they found that the homework given by the teacher, the child finished it in two or three strokes, would they feel uneasy and suspicious? The teacher cheated? Also, if the teachers who set the questions in the school are too simple to compare with other teachers, and even let other classes fail the test, will it appear "too inferior"? It is better to be strict than loose, and better to be deep than shallow! So the cram school has grown six times in ten years, and teachers and parents work together to repair children.The children were repaired to go out with the sun, moon and stars in the morning, and to go home with the moon and stars at night. Because of too much pressure, they had headaches, stomach pains, mouth sores, plucked their own hair, and even jumped from upstairs. ...

Excuse me, who is to blame for this? I am afraid that it is not only the education policy, but also the parents and school teachers! In "Be a Happy Reader", I gave an example—— When I was in high school, one day I went to watch a movie at the New Nanyang Theater in Taipei. Probably in order to be blocked a little bit, someone in front put the book under their buttocks; the person in the middle folded the chair and sat in the folded place; Further, sit on the back of the chair.As for me, like the people behind me, I stood on the handle of the chair. Isn’t today’s education exactly like this? Parents only make up for other children’s children, and my children have to make up for it; teachers also “take it casually” when teaching because most of the children make up for it first.The result is a vicious circle - poor parents, exhausted children, crowded cram schools.

And didn’t all those problems start with “someone put books under their ass in the theater”? If the examiner can be like my daughter’s teacher, as long as it is beyond the scope, even if most of the students go to cram school, they will, No points will be given; if the main tester always asks flexible and practical questions, when people find that "replenishment" and "dead memorization" are not of great benefit, they can all "sit down" quietly and enjoy a game Is it a good show? What really matters is that only in this way can students enjoy the joy of learning, because they are eager to learn, curious, strong, and take the initiative to learn, so that what they learn can be "into their hearts"; students' potential, imagination and creativity can also be brought into play.

I remember my son said to me many years ago, Chinese is so strange, why do you say “play ball” when you say “play ball”; why do you say “play piano” when you say “play piano”? It was not until the second year of high school that I realized that the purpose of playing ball should not be just to win others, and the purpose of playing the piano is not to fight against the piano.Play! It's important to make yourself happy! Isn't it? Why do we always force children to "study hard" instead of letting them force themselves to "study happily"? Education is "love to happiness"!

I dare not say that my education method is the best. I can only say that I use the "education of love" that does not force children and allows children to realize their potential.I hope readers can read between the lines not only the short stories between me and my daughter, but also what I hope to express behind those "events". From "Be a Happy Reader" four years ago, "Don't Be Angry, Miss" two years ago, to this book, I secretly have a purpose, which is to present what we can learn from American education.That’s why, in this book, I mentioned the regulations on my daughter’s school graduation trip. I hope that everyone can see that American education is not only laissez-faire, but sometimes even stricter; because freedom can only be talked about when everyone abides by the law.I also mentioned repeatedly in the book that freedom is based on the premise of not hindering the freedom of others.When children demand freedom and autonomy, they should take responsibility for the family and society.

What I emphasize more is that family and school extend to the society, so since young people go to society, others will not turn off the TV for him to read and sleep, and do not explain things for the sake of socializing, he should learn to adapt early Study in a noisy environment, work between entertainment, and even do several things at the same time. I am a person who dotes on children very much. Because of doting, I will not turn off the TV for her to read, I will not prevent her from climbing mountains because of her danger, and I will not prevent her from going to the "Devil's Summer Camp" because of her suffering. ". When one day, she grows up and wants to leave me, I will feel distressed, but I will not feel at ease, because I have already opened the door to the outside world early, so that she can see the good and the bad. When this book was finished, it was almost August 8th, Father's Day.My daughter called me from the United States and said that she graduated from junior high school with an overall academic average of 98 and received a President Bush's award (in recognition of Outstanding Academic Excellence).I was very happy, but in addition to congratulating her and praising her, I laughed and said, "Don't be too complacent! You must know that if you were given Taiwan's third-level mathematics, you might fail." On Father's Day, the editor of "Eslite Good Reading" in Taiwan Eslite Bookstore asked me to write a letter to my son on Father's Day.I wrote it, the letter is not long, but it can quite express my attitude towards the whole growth of the child, and I attach it here as the end of this book-"Dear son: When you were young, I never let you play ball because I wanted you to be stronger than me. When you were in high school, I wanted you to go to Stuyvesant in Manhattan because I wanted you to be independent.When you enter Harvard, I want you to choose your own department, because I want you to decide your own future; when you get a master's degree, I let you take a year off from school and go to Alaska, because I want you to be free.Now, I support whatever you do, because I want you to be happy.If you are happy, I will be happy!" Be strong, independent, free, and happy! What parent in the world doesn't want that? appendix I think the graduation travel rules of my daughter’s school are very well set, “especially the spirit of courtesy, responsibility, respect and honesty.” Attached here for your reference. Rules of Conduct for Great Neck South Junior School Graduation Trips In order to have a wonderful and safe trip to Boston, all students participating in this graduation trip must abide by the following rules of conduct: Students should respect themselves and respect others ——Treat people with courtesy and courtesy to show respect for others' feelings and ideas. ——Respect the rights and interests of others. Students should demonstrate a sense of responsibility ——Do what you should do to show responsibility. - to be on time - to cooperate —Remember that where we are is an extension of our school and our community. ——When the teacher is explaining, be sure to keep quiet. code of conduct As a responsible, respectful and honest member of the school, the following behaviors are absolutely not allowed; *Any illegal act ——It is strictly forbidden to possess, use, and distribute any prohibited items (such as tobacco, alcohol, narcotic drugs, etc.) ——Any weapons and items that can hurt people are also strictly prohibited. *Anything that will harm yourself or others *Physical contact with other students *harassment *any sexual activity or promiscuity *Any act of violence For the sake of safety, if any of the above regulations are violated, the penalties are as follows: a Prohibition of participating in activities during the trip b suspension of travel c Parents are responsible for coming to Boston to pick up their children other regulations *All students must dress, speak and behave in the good name of the school *Please do not bring valuables and jewelry. If someone brings MP3 players, digital cameras, mobile phones, CD players, computer game consoles or any electrical appliances, please keep them carefully and understand: *You have to bring it yourself and be responsible for it yourself *The teacher is not responsible for keeping *Not to be used during meals, activities, and teacher announcements. * On each item, write your name clearly. The above is only a part of the regulations, for readers' reference.It can be seen that American schools do not allow students to be free, but require self-control and automaticity.From some perspectives, (such as suspension of travel, parents are responsible for picking up their children and physical contact with other students, even shoulder-to-shoulder is not allowed.) It may be stricter than the regulations of Taiwanese schools.