Chapter 12 talk about freedom

At the funeral of the Chinese, one can call the heavens and the earth, and even those who don’t cry will be considered unfilial and heartless.However, in American funerals, relatives who can not shed tears will be appreciated, and it will be regarded as a manifestation of self-control. Cool is self-expression without breaking the rules. Do you have what it takes to be cool? Let me tell you something interesting first. The day before yesterday, Aunt Wang invited me to visit her newly bought apartment in Manhattan. When I reached the corner of the street, she couldn't wait to point to her tall building: "Look! That's my home."

"Is it the one with the potted tree with big leaves on the balcony?" Your mother and I pointed together. Just as he was pointing, he heard hurried footsteps behind him, and several big men in uniform rushed towards him, asking loudly, "What's the matter? What's the matter?" I was taken aback and said, "It's okay! My friend is telling us which floor her house is on. Is there any problem?" Seeing those big men let out a long breath: "Oh my God! We thought there was a fire upstairs, please! Don't point out casually in the future, okay?"

It turned out that they were all administrators at the gate of a nearby building. This incident reminded me of when I first came to the United States to teach, I often ran in the corridors of office buildings and was once scolded by a colleague. I asked him at the time: "I didn't hit you, how could it affect you? Running is my freedom." But the colleague said with a straight face: "You ran away, making me think there was a fire, and I felt uneasy, so your freedom affects my freedom." Children, you often think that the United States is very democratic and free, but you may not know that there are actually many unfreedoms in these freedoms, even far more unfree than the Chinese.

Take "crying" and "laughing" which are the most personal freedom! At Chinese funerals, one can call the heavens and the earth, and those who don’t even cry will be considered unfilial and heartless.However, in American funerals, relatives who can not shed tears will be appreciated, and it will be regarded as a manifestation of self-control.Because bereavement is your own business, it is a faux pas if you cry so loudly that you overwhelm others. "Laughing" is the same. Have you ever been to a high-end western restaurant and seen people laughing loudly? Even if it is too funny, you have to keep your voice down, because if you laugh out loud and disturb others, it is impolite.

Therefore, there is a necessary condition for freedom, that is, it cannot affect the freedom of others; the basis of freedom is self-control and law-abiding. Two days ago, your mother also mentioned something worth pondering—— "You know that so-and-so violinist who graduated from the pre-Juliet School of Music didn't get into the undergraduate department?" she said. "It's so good, why didn't Juliet accept it?" I asked puzzled. "Because he expresses himself too much in the orchestra of the preparatory class and often doesn't listen to the conductor." Your mother pretended to be mysterious and said: "The examiner of the Juliet University Department and the preparatory class are similar. The class will tell the examiner early on those students who think they are cool and disobedient, so that they will not be admitted.

"But those are often geniuses!" "Genius doesn't care! Genius doesn't respect the group, so people look down on it." This also reminds me that a few years ago, when you were learning to skate, one time you participated in a competition, and one of the children skated the best and received the most enthusiastic applause, but he didn't get a name. Do you remember? At that time, everyone thought it was strange. After asking around, they found out that it was because the rules of the game forbid to throw anything on the ground, but at the end of the game, the kid proudly threw the little wreath in his hand into the air.

"Is this so great? She slipped so well!" Someone asked at the time. "Too good but not law-abiding is not too good," the referee said. Dear daughter! I said this today because I found that you half-grown children always say "cool", and even think that cool is "as long as I am happy, there is nothing wrong with it". Who knows that this kind of cool not only hurts yourself, It affects others and creates many dangers due to the disorder in an orderly society. I really appreciate a passage I read recently in Ang Lee's "Ten Years of Movie Dream" (edited by Zhang Liangbei)——

"Make a Chinese film like being an emperor, and everyone listens to me; make a Western film like being a president, and the president has to go out to please everyone." Ang Lee said this because when he was filming in Taiwan, the director was the biggest, and he could do whatever he liked; but when he went to Hollywood to film, he always had to communicate with producers, actors, photographers and studios. Freedom, but respect for everyone's opinion. After reading this passage, if you ask what is "cool" today, I will say: "Cool is not being an emperor, but being a president; being cool is self-expression without breaking the rules."