Chapter 15 fifteen

Mrs. Thatcher said: "It's not difficult to manage every day. You just need to list down the things you will do, and after you do it, delete each item!" hard work illusion The other day you walked to the train station by yourself and complained loudly when you came back: "My God! I almost missed the train. Do you know how far it is? Twenty-five minutes and I still have to run!" After listening to your words, today I went to take the train for the first time, and I went out early. I didn't expect to "walk" all the way. It only took 20 minutes, which made me wait at the station for nearly half an hour.It wasn't until you came back to question you that you said:

"I didn't run all the way, but strolled slowly, and didn't run until I realized that it was running out of time!" So I blame you - yet again providing false information while creating the illusion of hard work. You are not the only ones who create such false appearances!Many adults will!For example, recently a furniture company sent me a custom-made desk. Although it was more than ten days later than the scheduled delivery time, when the boss called to inform the delivery, he said breathlessly: "It's not easy! It's finally finished! " But when the desk arrived, it was full of sawdust, and the superglue spilled outside was not cleaned at all.As a result, I used my studio as a factory, and I was busy for a long time.

Seeing that the boss was sweating profusely, it seemed that he was struggling with the desk during the delay.But when I asked the worker in private how many working days it would take, the worker smiled and replied, "Concentrate on it! It won't take four days for two people!" From this point of view, didn't the boss create an illusion of hard work just like you? I also often encounter such things in Taiwan, such as mounting paintings, send the paintings more than ten days ago, and ask the master to plan to dry them on the wall for at least seven days to avoid deformation in the future.But I often go to see it a few days before the submission, and find that he hasn't done it yet?

When I blamed them for not doing it early, everyone in the shop said: "There is no way! There are previous workers ahead, and other people's paintings have been delayed for several days. If you advance yours, their paintings will not be good at all! " It sounds reasonable, but think about it this way: If the painting shop suspends business for a few days, or during the New Year’s holiday, it will not take a break to mount the dragged paintings, so that all the paintings will be started three days in advance. Isn't it all about delivering the documents on time? The reason why they can't do it is very simple, because of "dragging"!Moreover, "procrastination" is coherent. When everything must be completed in the end, it will naturally be delayed until a certain time, and it cannot be delayed any longer.It's just that when he did this thing that was already too late, the next one was of course delayed.

So dragging, dragging a string!In the end, nothing was less done, but everything was not done on time.And because they don't save trouble, they create the illusion of hard work.There is nothing wrong with hard work. It is "procrastination" that causes hard work, not the thing itself! Procrastination should be human nature, and its basic reason is "laziness"; another possibility is that you don't know the planning time.The way to cure this problem with immediate effect is: do it as soon as you get it!Don't hesitate, because hesitating is wasting time.Many people get confused when they encounter too many things. They want to start with one thing and start with another. As a result, those who do it at hand have accomplished a lot, but they haven't been able to act yet.

As for the quick-acting, quick-acting recipe, it is to list all the things, immediately decide the priority, and do it immediately! I remember someone asked the former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher how she could take care of her family while taking care of her family.The answer is: "List the things to be done, and after you do it, delete each item!" As simple as it sounds, the real truth is that she can not only take active actions, but also plan ahead, and adjust according to the situation at any time. When you find yourself always slow, always late, and always in a hurry, please think about my words.Seize a gap in the vacation, make a list of must-do things in the future, and complete the procrastinated things immediately.You will find that although you sacrificed one or two holidays, the following things can be on track.

It is especially important that: Stop creating the illusion of hard work.When you are catching up because you are dragging ahead, please don't sigh! The one who shaves you is the one who puts the blade in your throat! Be careful with saliva Taking a taxi today, due to the negligence of the driver, he took the wrong exit, which made us arrive home 30 minutes late. When I got out of the car, the driver apologized, and I said: "It's okay!" But you complained to me: "Tell him to turn left, but he turned right. This kind of person does not deserve respect!" Now listen to me with two true stories:

Once I went to the military camp to find an elementary school classmate. His position was very low. He poured tea, delivered water, and ran errands. In just half an hour when I was looking for him, I was called around several times. When we parted, he smiled at me and said, "Don't look at me being bullied, it doesn't matter, I've got my revenge a long time ago. Once a bad platoon leader's girlfriend came, and he bossed me around and told me to make coffee, Pour tea. Who knows how much I spit in it!" In addition, when I was in a TV company, a colleague said to me: "A certain person is very flirtatious and has sex outside!" I replied: "How do you know?" He laughed: "Not only do you know, And there is evidence!"

It turned out that "someone" was very mean to the driver, and the driver knew his private life best, so many rumors against him came out of the driver's mouth.Moreover, because it was said by someone close to me, everyone believed it! From the above two incidents, I found that the lower the position, the more polite I should be.And the higher your status and the more famous you are, the more you have to respect people with lower status. Confucius has two famous sayings-"It's just that women and villains are difficult to raise. If they are close, they will not be inferior, and if they are far away, they will complain."Many people think of these words as ordinary women and low moral villains, but what they actually mean is the maids and servants in the family. That is to say, the most difficult thing to do with servants is that if you get too close, they will become disrespectful; There is a distance, and they will complain again.

Although these two sentences refer to an era with class concepts, there is a truth in them that has not changed through the ages.The lower the status of the person, the more sensitive they are due to low self-esteem. Even a word you say unintentionally in private may touch their pain, let alone ridicule in public! "Inappropriate to blame in person".Should be the first principle of getting along with subordinates. I remember once when I went to dinner with my friends, when the fish was served, everyone felt something wrong when they tasted it.At this time, one of them gave everyone a sensual look.Then invite the master chef of the restaurant, and said very politely.

"Your cooking skills are beyond words! Every dish is delicious!" He whispered again: "Can you bring this fish in and add some spicy peppers, and try it!" Not long after, the chef of the restaurant happily brought out the fish again, and waited at the table and asked, "How about it now, ladies and gentlemen?" It was tacit understanding that the fish had been changed. This is an example of tactful speaking.As the friend said afterwards: "If we shout in public, 'Boss! Your fish is not fresh!' for the sake of face, I'm afraid he will stick to it. More mouthfuls of phlegm!" Isn't the situation of our car today similar? He made a wrong turn, and I politely said: "I'm afraid this direction is not right!" He made a detour and came back without overcharging the fare, and even apologized. Why don't we get together and get away?Do you still need to complain a few more words before leaving, so as to make each other unhappy? On your journey of life, you will meet many people with low positions. The higher you climb, the more such people will be.And your height is due to the help of these low-level people, they can support you the most, and they can hurt you the most.If you treat them badly, it may become ten points in their hearts; if you treat them well, it may be exaggerated into ten points in their mouths.They will say triumphantly and excitedly: "I didn't expect someone with such a great reputation and high status to be so polite to me!" As a result, your good reputation spread far and wide, and it was spread from the lowest level. People would think: "He is so kind to the servants, which shows that he is really friendly!" And when you are most critical, those who can really help you get out are more likely to be these people. remember! The person who wears a belt and hangs a sword for you every day is also the one who can best give you a sword from behind! The person who shaves you is also the person who puts the blade in your throat! The products of rigid education are all the same. But Harvard allows students to develop freely and become who they are! harvard dream Do you know which was the first American university I ever heard of as a kid? It's Harvard! When I was in high school, I learned from the encyclopedia that the history of Harvard was far longer than that of the United States, but as early as the 1960s, Harvard had trained six presidents for the United States. The writers and poets I admire the most, such as Eliot and Adams , Thoreau and Emerson, all graduated from Harvard. It’s just that I wasn’t sure about taking the national entrance exam at that time, so Harvard naturally became a name that was out of reach. It was not until I met Andrew, the son of the US ambassador to China An Kezhi, that my desire to enter Harvard moved again.Because he told me that his grades in high school were not very good, but he was admitted to Harvard after the oral examination. The interviewer at the time said: "What we value is not how much you have installed, but how much you can pretend in the future." !" So I thought: Maybe with my poor grades, one day I can sneak into the Harvard Research Institute! Then I got to America.As soon as I landed, I saw in the newspaper that Harvard University is determined to innovate the curriculum, requiring every graduate to be proficient in writing, mathematics and computers. They believe that this is the basic training for college students. The future world becomes the first class. The newspaper also said that Harvard believes that university education is not to cultivate a group of nerds who can memorize by rote, but to guide students how to do in-depth research in different fields. As a result, they eliminated previous introductory courses such as "Themes in American History" and "Introduction to Chemistry" and replaced them with "Medieval Chivalric Romanticism," "East Asian Fiction," and even "The Art and Myth of African Manners."Among the courses required for graduation, "foreign culture" and "literature and art" accounted for a quarter. Harvard said that what they want is "international people", that is, people with international foresight, not just people who are narrowly limited to undergraduates.No matter how good an undergraduate degree is, it is not enough without a world outlook and humanistic qualities. Harvard has become more and more attractive to me. Even after I got the position of associate professor at the university, I wanted to resign and move to Cambridge to become a "Harvard man". Unfortunately, life concerns, and your admission to Stuyvesant High School, put me off the idea.Especially when I saw the statistical report last year that even high school students with an average of 96.37 were rejected by Harvard, I thought to myself: "I'm afraid even my son won't be able to get in!" It's just that you don't give up, and go to the school library to dig out the "college file box", which is a collection of your seniors who have entered prestigious schools in the past and delivered university testimonials. You said to me: "Harvard is so attractive! Although the alumni say that there is the worst food in the world, but perhaps: the most attractive thing is not the professors, but the students! It is not the campus, but the atmosphere! There are people in the middle of the night Playing on campus, dancing on the street. Walking there, it's like being in Soho, everyone is so different!" "What we want is different! Not the same! The product of rigid education is the same, but Harvard allows students to develop freely and become their own!" Your eyes are shining, reminding me of myself when I was a teenager, dreaming of becoming Harvard people. So you started to fill in the application form and write your autobiography from the first semester of senior year of high school (according to: American high school is a four-year system), asking Harvard to approve admission in advance. "You can tell me what you've done for me!" I suggested. "That doesn't matter: because the school doesn't count the achievements of your own family." "We can ask the president of the college to write a letter of recommendation," your mother said. "That's not important! I'm afraid what my teacher wrote is more credible." We won't say any more, let you realize your dreams.It's just that when you showed me your autobiography, it made my eyes wet, and you said: "As an immigrant, I can experience seeing American culture with new eyes; but on the other hand, I can look back on the heritage of Chinese culture from a Western point of view. Since I have Chinese blood, if I can enter Harvard, I will I hope to find a way of blending between Western individualism and Chinese Confucianism. I want to use my childhood Chinese training to help me complete this bilingual cultural bridge..." I found out: Since you came to the United States at the age of seven, I have forced you to learn Chinese every day. I don’t know how many disputes between father and son have occurred, and I don’t know how much effort it took.Now suddenly there are gains and disagreements. Today, on this Christmas Eve, I write to you from the other side of the world, full of excitement and gratitude to God.And at the end of the letter, I want to say: "Congratulations on becoming a Harvard man! We are proud of you! "