Chapter 9 Rose Island (9)

6. Juvenile affairs When I was 12, I had a teenage friendship with a girl my age at school.Her home is separated from mine by a river in the middle of the city.On a rainy summer afternoon, I remember her waiting at the bottom of the stairs with an umbrella to pick me up and go to her house for ice cream.In the damp shadow, her face is like a bright camellia.We tread water barefoot in the heavy rain.Reading poetry books while eating ice cream in her spacious home.Then after being tired, they hugged and fell asleep together.Her thick long hair exudes a fragrance, wrapping around my head and face when I was sleepy.I dial with my hands.Outside the window is the sound of torrential rain.

Back then I was a girl who didn't spend much time with my parents.I like to write poetry.When I go to sleep at night, I will shed tears expressionlessly.Her family was unhappy, her parents were at odds, and there were disputes from time to time.Then one day, my father suddenly disappeared.We have each other's secret and difficult pains.They haven't grown up yet, they are swollen pure flower buds.Want to find a way to the world in each other's souls.And this entry point can only be the love given to each other.Although this kind of love, because of some kind of despair, seems blind and decisive.Full of entanglements.I remember we wrote letters every day.Even in the same class, we meet every day.Time is never enough in intense feelings.We write in letters, I love you.It's like saying to this world that hasn't started the journey yet, I'm going.

This kind of relationship, now it seems, is already like a first love. This past incident has made me maintain a certain belief in the friendship between women.In it, there is no sex, no curiosity, and no hormones.Just because of the common desire of each other and close.We were like two sensitive, needy children, hugging each other for warmth.Such pure and quiet companionship.Between each other, many things happened.There are sorrows and joys, and there are losses.Many memories have become unfathomable because they were buried. Thinking about it now, the life before the age of 17 was perhaps the cruelest and most beautiful time in my life.Youth is like a dark train tunnel, roaring and galloping.We soon fell in love with each other.At that time, I always thought that being in love could completely save my loneliness.Only after paying a lot of money and spending a lot of time can I know that this idea is wrong.

After more than 10 years, I have already left that southern city with a river in the center of the city.From south to north, I migrated in different cities all the way, looking for a place to stay.I started writing books, publishing novels.My life is becoming more and more unruly and bumpy.But when I was a teenager, I told her that I would write a book in the future because I wanted to let others know about my pain.our pain.Pain for all.She eventually married a simple and silent man.Marriage and children, ordinary work.Live a stable life. For a long time, we lost audio from each other. Then, one summer, I went home.Happened to her by chance.So I went to see her.I still remember that she liked to eat bananas the most, and bought a large bunch of bananas in the nearby fruit shop.There is also a handful of crimson carnations with flower buds.Still a rainy summer afternoon.Outside the window is the sound of torrential rain.Her long hair was gone, tied in a rough bun.The naive 1-year-old child was sleeping soundly in her arms.She has become a mother after so many romantic relationships with each other.And I, still alone.We have nothing to say, just smile all the way.silence.She showed me a large tank of tropical fish in the room.The air smelled of ordinary life's powdered milk and dust.I saw pictures of her when she was 16 on the wall.I also always carry a black and white photo of myself as a teenager with me.The photos are so outdated, but the smile of a young girl is bright and dazzling, with bright eyes and white teeth, which makes people sad.We still have the same preferences.Same as before.

When we said goodbye, she saw me off.I held her baby in my arms.That little baby boy is pink and white and cute.The continuation of life is confusing.We have grown up with the warmth and passion we once gave each other.The relationship between those teenage years was like chrysalis living in each other.When the souls grow wings and go their separate ways, the chrysalis becomes a transparent shell. After more than 10 years, we have each become women who are sad but willing to bear.No regrets.In the heavy rain, calmly waved goodbye. Of course, as adults, we will continue to have friendships and the way we treat them.The heart is happy, and occasionally meet each other.Get along cleanly and temperately.In Shanghai, I have met several beautiful and unique women.They do freelance writing, records, and the Internet... We walked on the street during the night of the typhoon, holding a lighter in our hands and lighting a cigarette for each other.Occasionally go to the bar to get drunk, chatting about men and bits and pieces of the past, already calm and breezy.Never bring each other into their lives and work.We become friends.From a distance, carefully and gently, touching each other's fingers, but the temperature of the skin is no longer needed.

Adult friendship can only give each other some time.We are all so conscious that we see the limits of time. The turbulent friendship of childhood is gone.Having experienced many desolations of human nature and many fates, it is no longer necessary to devote all one's heart to discover the ending of the future.We know that eventually we will grow up.The pain will pass. And those who loved, also disappeared.