Chapter 97 Where is the fountain?

That day I was invited by CCTV Channel 10 to record a program. After the recording, I was walking towards the gate of the compound when I suddenly heard someone calling me from behind.She said: "I can tell it's you from the back!" But when she saw me from the front, she smiled and said, "I'm getting old..." Her smile always had a bit of teasing flavor as before, and her head shook slightly , I can't bear to say that I think she has become shorter, and I just smirk when I look down at her. Channel 10 "Green Space" rented a house in the hostel of Ms. Gu's wife and set up a booth to record. Ms. Gu's dormitory is also in the compound, and I happened to go downstairs for a walk, so we met unexpectedly.

When I told Sister Gu that she was at the age of ears, she raised her eyebrows, probably trying to figure out how old I was when we met, and perhaps realizing that I was also trying to figure out how old she was at the same time, so she said heartily: " I'm 73 this year, and I'm retiring early!" We all had clouds and waves of the past in our hearts, but we didn't know where to start.I just said: "You were kind to me back then..." She was not humble, but still had a bright smile on her face.You can tell she's happy for me, just because I'm still continuing what I started 24 years ago without stopping.Her happiness is really a kindness to me again.

This encounter with Sister Gu brought out many memories and complicated thoughts in me. Twenty-four years ago, in 1978, it was a year when history took a hard turn.I published the short story "Class Teacher" in November 1977, and the short stories "Position of Love" and "Wake Up, Brother" in the spring of 1978.Of course, the director and editor of the magazine played a key role in the publication of these works, but the promotion of the works also needs a very important channel, which is the radio broadcast.At that time, my works, as well as those of other writers, such as Lu Xinhua's, Wang Yaping's "Sacred Mission", Chen Guokai's "What Should I Do", etc., were called "scar literature" and were controversial.Before Comrade Deng Xiaoping came back, the top leaders at that time were still emphasizing the "two everythings". Even if it is read aloud or adapted into a radio play, it must bear certain risks. It must be published and broadcast quickly with courage, vigor, enthusiasm and even passion.It was under such circumstances that Gu Wenjuan, as the editor of the Literature and Art Department of the Central People's Broadcasting Station, continuously compiled my "Class Teacher", "Wake Up, Brother", and the works of other writers, so that the newspapers and periodicals could not be read in time. Many people, especially young people who were still jumping in the queue in the countryside or in the frontier production and construction corps, heard a completely different voice from the "Gang of Four" on the airwaves, so that they were so impressed that they will never forget it.Some listeners met me later and told me about the situation in detail.At that time, there were many tweeters installed in the countryside, and there were also on the telephone poles in the field.Before the "Gang of Four" fell, those tweeters were filled with the voices of "criticizing Confucius" and "criticizing Deng". Although the voices in 1977 were more critical of the "Gang of Four", they still affirmed the proletariat Cultural Revolution.At that time, it was fashionable to turn up the volume of the tweeter to the maximum, and the sound waves rolled and dispersed in the vast fields, and there would be booming echoes when encountering hills and valleys.Therefore, in the mid-spring of 1978, one day they suddenly heard a program compiled by Gu Wenjuan and others from the tweeter. The content questioned the "Cultural Revolution", announced that love had a reasonable place in life, and Beethoven's music appeared in the soundtrack. The melody, soft whispers and lyrical piano sounds surprised them in the field. "The world is about to change", and they also released their youthful feelings of seeking change and innovation.Listening in such a field, they feel the joy and excitement of being enlightened, so they remember the names of those works and authors.Many of these young people listen to the radio first, and then go to newspapers and books to read the corresponding text.Up to now, some literary historians can say that it is not literature, some critics can laugh at the rigidity and naivety of those texts, and we ourselves can sincerely and modestly declare that we have not really stepped into the threshold of literature at that time, but these are all One basic fact that cannot be changed is that some people, including me, became famous at that time because of the opportunities of the times, the trend of thought, the revival of literature, and the support of such broadcasts, and they rushed into the literary world one after another, and a major turning point occurred in their fate.Although we each have our own ups and downs, sorrows and joys as time goes by, this fact, no matter whether we are proud or embarrassed when we recall it, has been embedded in the historical rings and cannot be changed.

At the end of 1978, the Third Plenary Session of the Eleventh Central Committee of the Communist Party of China was successfully held. The general trend of reform and opening up was initially determined, and the trend of literature was surging rapidly.At that time, the radio drama adapted and recorded by Gu Wenjuan could be said to be popular every time it was broadcast, and the work was widely circulated because of it. In the literary awards activities, it became an invisible huge vote. The work won the award and the writer was blessed because of it, no? Members of the China Writers Association are expected to join the membership immediately, have the opportunity to be sent abroad for visits, and even have incentive housing in their locations.I remember that when some writers saw Gu Wenjuan smiling like a flower, they didn't know how to get close to her.Someone once asked me in private: "How can I make Gu Wenjuan like it (the work is adapted and broadcast)?" At that time, I saw some The man pointed to Gu Wenjuan's back and whispered to the people beside him, "That's her..." It was as if he had seen a real Buddha.

But after 1983, probably because there were more and more new movies, and most of them were adapted from new novels, televisions became popular, and TV dramas became active. Many TV dramas were also based on novels. In this case, radio dramas Gradually less rare.As a result, the literary world's stickiness to Gu Wenjuan seems to have gradually turned into alienation.After 1985, many cutting-edge writers no longer knew who Gu Wenjuan was.I also don't care about keeping in touch with Gu Wenjuan. I don't know what radio dramas she is still adapting and recording, and I don't want to listen to them.

Times have changed and the world has changed. We have overused these words, but it is not so easy to truly experience the life in these words. It is not that we are too dull, but maybe we are too smart.In the period that literary historians call "literature of the new era", there were quite a few journalists who contributed to the revival and development of literature at that time.I also remember Zhen Qingru, a reporter from the China News Service (now he uses the pen name Zhen Cheng), who sometimes sends out several reports on the revival of Chinese literature overseas in a day, such as Ba Jin’s speeches, Ai Qing’s new poems, Ding Ling’s The comeback, the correction of Wang Meng, etc., the establishment of the National Award for Excellent Short Stories and Novels by the Chinese Writers Association, the visit of the first delegation of writers after the catastrophe, etc., all these news were immediately covered by Chinese newspapers in Hong Kong, Taiwan and around the world. rush to adopt.There is also Guo Lingchun, a female reporter from Xinhua News Agency. She is always willing to use innovative styles when she writes reports, and she has also written many in-depth interviews.Gu Wenjuan is definitely not alone in the radio station.I also know Wang Chengyu, who has broadcast many new novels on the youth program of the Central People's Broadcasting Station. He organized my "Love Position" and "Youth in a Beige Coat". He can invite artists like Dong Xingji who can shape characters with their voices to perform recitations, so that the circulation of these novels among the masses is as smooth and far-reaching as a clear stream.At that time, there was absolutely no "red envelope" phenomenon, and there was no "hype". Some people gain both fame and fortune, but they themselves have neither fame nor fortune.As the years go by, the distance between them and the prosperous "well-known writers" is getting farther and farther.Later, few people remembered these people and these things.I remember that at the end of the last century, there was a gathering of some colleagues. I mentioned these people. Some of them didn’t know and didn’t want to know who they were. Private life, mostly embarrassing things, talking and laughing, much disdain.Even if what he said is not a rumor, it is harmless, but he has gained both fame and fortune, traveled around the world, and even has an official title. To others, he is "just a role", or even changed to a more inconspicuous role. Isn't such an attitude unkind?

"The kindness of a drop of water should be repaid by a spring." This is an ancient saying that we have memorized by heart.Because there is nothing new, it cannot add color to the weird and trendy text, and it may make readers who only like subversive styles sniff, and some writers have rarely quoted it.But should our feet be removed from such a moral foundation?I am ashamed to review myself.I remember that in 1988, when I was the editor-in-chief of a magazine, one day I suddenly received a letter from Gu Wenjuan from the United States, saying that she was temporarily staying in the United States with her lover who was working in an agency in the United States, and hoped that we could send her the magazine regularly.I discussed this matter with the deputy editor in charge of finance, and I felt that if I sent gifts to her on schedule, then I should send gifts to many other overseas people accordingly. I initially pulled the list because the postage was very expensive and the unit funds were limited. It was too much to calculate, so I sighed and gave up.Now ask yourself, why can't I send her the regular mail at my own expense?Not admitting is not willing to part with money, then, admitting or not is not willing to part with time and energy?What should be admitted is that I don't value her so much in my heart. After crossing the river, she is no longer a bridge. I have a lot of affairs in my day, domestic and overseas, and the turbulent interpersonal relationships that I have to deal with. I only have a faint memory of her. It seems to be the best of benevolence.

Looking back on the 24 years of writing, there are really many people who have given me drips of water and even more grace.Did I really report to the spring?Perhaps there is only one case, and that is after Feng Muxian passed away, in front of the portrait of his family, after I presented a watercolor painting of myself, I really cried from the bottom of my heart.In fact, I have been alienated or even at odds with Feng Mu in terms of literary concepts, but he was actually the first supporter of my entry into the literary world. This is something that I will never forget and should never hide.

Thinking about it carefully, I am afraid that it is really difficult to repay the kindness of dripping water with a spring.The dripping water will never be too little, so how can I have so many springs for gushing?Looking around the world, bustling and bustling, there are many things to repay kindness and hatred, where is the spring to repay kindness?Such scenery is rare.But the encounter with Sister Gu brought out so many thoughts after all, is it like a drop of dew, or a gurgling spring?When we parted that day, we didn't ask and record each other's phone number. Meeting by chance rather than contacting each other deliberately seems to be more gentle and gentle.Perhaps it is not necessary to have a spring, but to have a kind blessing in my heart, and finally forget each other in the rivers and lakes, it is a real life, and it is more in line with real human nature.