Chapter 83 remember thunder but not rain

A reporter asked me if I had any quarrel with my lover?I think her question is very strange. Couples have been together for many years, the moon has its ups and downs, and people have joys, sorrows, sorrows, and quarrels. It is a purely natural thing, and you should guess that there must be something without asking; What's more, my temper has been irritable and stubborn since I was a child. Outside the family, when dealing with all aspects, I have to overcome restraint. When I go home, I close the door and let my nature flow. Even the whole family was disappointed overnight.Of course, it was mostly because I regretted it afterwards, calmed down, apologized on my own initiative, and my lover made a few reproaches, and everyone just laughed it off and reconciled as before.

The reporter specialized in family and marriage issues, so he asked incessantly, "You frankly admit that husband and wife sometimes quarrel, and your own personality weakness is the main reason, but it sounds like these quarrels have not hurt you. So far, the whole family is harmonious and happy, so what is going on? I said, I'm afraid it is because of family quarrels, we all remember the thunder but not the rain. Quarrels must be loud, even yelling, like bursts of thunder, which is really indecent, so even though there are too many things, the memory still has an impression.For example, last autumn, probably on the day of eating meat dumplings, there was a quarrel, and half of the dumplings that were not eaten due to the quarrel had to be thrown into the trash can, which is a pity.In retrospect, this detail is still vivid.But, you have to ask how the quarrel started?What are you arguing about?My wife and I really can't remember it.The words during the quarrel are like rain, but we don't take it to heart after all. This is remembering the thunder but not the rain.Of course, this also shows that although my wife and other family members have different personalities and opinions, our thoughts and feelings are generally compatible. Not only do we have no fundamental conflict of interest, but There are very few non-fundamental substantive conflicts. The root cause of our quarrels is mostly personality conflicts, and because we have been working with each other for many years, we have become more and more aware of each other's personalities, so we automatically avoid and actively respect each other. , when the other party’s mental state is better, we will give opinions, and when we see the other party’s mental state, we will give them gentle care. We have agreed to become a family routine, so the quarrels have gradually decreased. Of course, we do not pursue blindly suppressing and restraining. Being a straightforward person, it is difficult to guarantee that there will be no more thunder and rain at home.

When getting along with family members, it is better to remember that thunder does not remember rain. When it comes to getting along with people outside the home, I think it is also best to remember thunder but not rain.I have seen many articles of this kind. After many years, someone came to apologize. They participated in the criticism of "Unlimited Topics" during the "Anti-Rightist" or during the "Cultural Revolution", and posted big-character posters with appalling titles. that sort of thing.The author of the article said that he didn't remember what the person criticized him at all, or even though he remembered that the person had posted big-character posters, he had no memory of what he had exposed. Therefore, he simply felt that the person did not need to apologize, especially not to feel guilty.This is to only remember the thunder of the political movement, but not the rain that ordinary people rain on them during the political movement, that is, to reflect on the causes and disadvantages of the thunder, to prevent it from exploding again, and to be tolerant of the general raindrops. Thought this kind of generosity was good.However, a friend of mine said that he does not hold grudges against those who have criticized him in political movements, because although the voices and expressions are harsh and far-fetched, they generally belong to the fashion of that stage, and what is pouring out in the thunder is nothing more than some The clichés in the newspapers and broadcasts of the time have disappeared with the wind, so why bother?But he couldn't forgive a speaker at the criticism meeting no matter what, and he still has a grudge against him, and he doesn't want to talk to him, and even wants to scold him a few times when he thinks about it!So, what did that person say at the criticism meeting?I also know that person, and his personality is cowardly. He was neither the host nor the key speaker at the criticism meeting.The person complained to me afterwards that he had no choice but to speak in that way because he couldn't think of anything else. In the eyes of the meeting chairperson, he could only avoid the important things and ignore the minor ones. How could he still hold grudges in his heart for so many years?It turned out that the man's speech involved my friend's privacy. He said that when we were in the same dormitory, he would take out a photo of his girlfriend and kiss him before going to bed every night; A mole on her stomach said, she wondered if she would feel sick when she got married in the future?It's really heart-wrenching... The speaker is not very high on this point, saying that he is full of bourgeois ideas and his soul is full of vulgar interests.However, he has let go of those storms that other people yell at him for being anti-Party, anti-socialist, and Mao Zedong Thought, but he never forgets the two drops of "dirty rain" that this "brother" poured on his heart. !This example shows that when we get along with others, no matter under any circumstances, we must not hurt their self-esteem, especially we must not "talk about things" with other people's privacy.

Haze, wind and snow, thunder and rain are inescapable things in life. I hope that between people, as far as possible, the rain will pass and the sky will be sunny. Remember the thunder but not the rain, especially in the family and husband and wife. What is worth worrying about? ?Protect each other forever!