Chapter 35 Passed the "kaner" of "Natal Year"

Is "Benming Year" a "kaner"?The development of human life is both physical and psychological.Taking 12 years as the big annual ring of a life, from the perspective of psychological development, it does often become a big "hurdle" and constitutes a dangerous period. Combining the lunar calendar and the solar calendar, the first is the "birth year" at the age of twelve or thirteen.Its psychological danger is manifested as prematurity, loss of due childlike innocence, leading to deviant behavior; Society”. School teachers and parents at home should guide children through this “psychological narrow gate”.

Then there is the psychologically dangerous period of the twenty-four or five-year-old.The psychological crisis in this "birth year" will tend to two extremes. One is to become an "angry youth". It is very easy for the society, especially for the elders, especially for the inherent traditions and norms, to burst out the passion of rebellion from the bottom of the heart. Bewitched by extreme theories, pursuing subversive and destructive pleasure; one is to become a "cowardly youth", low self-esteem, cowardly, unable to form any opinions, especially afraid of elders, leaders, authority, and strong people, always consciously looking dirty and looking for There is no way to improve yourself.During this dangerous period, school teachers and parents can generally play a limited role in psychological counseling, because there is an unavoidable "generation gap".The safe passage of this psychologically dangerous period mainly depends on the guidance of excellent and healthy culture.Excellent culture includes classics, such as Beethoven's symphonies and Lu Xun's works. Healthy culture includes popular ones that are only popular for a while, such as certain campus folk songs and certain TV series. Anyone who can consciously or unconsciously be nourished by these works in terms of cultural contact All of them can go through the psychological waves and sail smoothly to the year of "standing".

Thirty-six and seventeen years old and forty-eight-nine years old, the psychological crisis in the two "natal years", there are generally two dangers, one is too much self-affirmation, feeling that success and fame, the future is bright, and the desire is inflated to the point that it is like a balloon that is about to burst Without self-knowledge, this leads to aggressive behavior and risk-taking, and even makes mistakes and even breaks the law because of despising morality and laws; The success of others, especially those of the same generation, is envious, which leads to cowardice, hesitation, and confusion in behavior, and even leads to the tragedy of "wearing the world and committing suicide" or "die with you".

Nowadays, there is a so-called "59-year-old phenomenon" for the social phenomenon of using power for personal gain.There are indeed not too few civil servants who "intensify corruption" on the eve of retirement, or actually slip from generally clean and honest to the abyss of corruption and bribery.I won’t explore the external social factors here. As far as the psychological imbalance of the “natal year” of 59 and 60 is concerned, I am afraid that the person concerned failed to grasp the reins of “life positioning”.What is the meaning of life?In the market society, facing the wealthy group, people who have lived to the fifth "birth year" tend to put themselves on the weighing pan of commodities, and use alcohol, wealth and sex as weights to weigh their own "weight" , The result is often that I feel that I have "lost a lot", so I "don't care too much" and get the "last basket of fish"!Of course, at the age of 60, the "year of fate", there will also be another kind of mental illness in some people, that is, it is difficult to adapt to new things, indulge in nostalgia, or be cynical or disheartened. The crisis turned into a physiological paranoia, always feeling that I was "too bad", as if the curtain of life should also fall.

To pass the last three "birth years" and "hurdles" mentioned above, in addition to cultivating oneself with excellent culture, I think the help of relatives and friends has become more and more important.Relatively speaking, the greater role of relatives is emotional support, while the greater role of friends is psychological relief.The friends mentioned here are in a strict sense, and are not equal to collaborators in work, business, or creation, let alone wine and meat friends, mahjong friends, and friends who are not related to their specific interests are more precious.If you can listen to yourself to express your anxiety and comfort it, you are already a good friend. If you can also make an analysis, criticize where it should be criticized, affirm where it should be affirmed, and give advice, then you are a critical friend.I think that the fifth "birth year" in life can basically be said to be

It is the last "hurdle" of the psychological crisis. After passing this "hurdle", you will generally become more and more calm psychologically.In order to eliminate the psychological danger of this "barrier", in addition to "self-diagnosis and self-government", it is very important for friends not to abandon them. The more we are in such a "disgusting" state, the more we need the love of friends; Friends who are in a psychological crisis period will take the initiative to care for them without waiting for them to ask.Physical health care depends on oneself, and mental health care depends on friends. To pass the "hurdle" of "birth year", this truth must be understood.