Chapter 12 Eleven Robe Psychology

Wearing a robe, Mr. He Fan is the theorist, and I am the practitioner. Dressed in the body, fluttering with the wind, dignified and personable, counting on the fingers, the number of records is here!Regardless of whether it is winter or summer, rain or shine, no matter whether the girl smiles in front of the dog or the dog barks in the back, I do my own way, I love my gown, and I will never compromise with the foreign devil's Hufu. This kind of persistent support for the quintessence of the country is beyond the reach of Mr. He Fan. ! Robes have become my personal trademark for a long time. It is not only passed on to the public, but also embodied in pen and ink.In an issue of "University Life" published in Hong Kong the year before last, a gentleman once listed four monsters and three ugliness in National Taiwan University, and the most ugly one is the "robe monster", as if the robe is my incarnation.As a matter of fact, besides President Qian, if there is a prominent figure on the stage, I am probably the only one.No one dared to say that he had not seen "the man in the robe of the Literary School".Unless he is blind, but a blind man must have heard of Li, unless he is still willing to be deaf!

How many people wonder why I always wear a robe all year round, but I never tell them.They looked at me respectfully, and I lowered my eyebrows in return; they looked at me sideways, and I raised my eyebrows;Professor Xia, who teaches general history of China, also wears a ragged robe all year round, but during the hottest one or two months of summer, he also makes an exception to go to Hawaii.Once he saw me strutting around in a black silk coat under the scorching heat, so he walked up to me, stared at me for a while, and finally shook his head, saying with emotion: "You are simply more stubborn than me!"

How can I be stubborn?Li Hongzhang, wearing a mandarin jacket without a collar, is more stubborn than me; Ma Binhe, a wonderful British man who has become our nationality, is more fascinated by the Chinese "Mandarin" costumes than I am.It's just that the weather in Taiwan is hotter, so I seem to be more difficult than them!Once, a very spiritual girl asked me: "Li Ao, I can't help it, I must ask you: you still wear this thing in such a hot weather, don't you feel hot?" Looking at her face full of salvation spirit.She replied slowly: "It's so cold in winter, and you still wear a skirt to show off your calves. Don't you feel cold?" The girl seemed to have realized something, and left without saying a word.I couldn't help being secretly funny at the time, and I laughed at her thinking that my heat resistance in summer and her cold resistance in winter came from the same psychology, but it was actually wrong!There are at most three reasons for girls to wear skirts in winter:

1. For the sake of beauty and to satisfy their self-dazzlement; 2. For the sake of wealth, use your vision to tell you that she is wearing glass stockings worth 96 yuan a pair; 3. For the sake of superiority, tell you that she has more fat content than your men, and enthusiastic people are not afraid of the cold. But I wear a robe in broad daylight and the sun, the reason is completely different from theirs.Wearing long gowns is a lost knowledge. Today, when foreign clothes are flooded, everyone who wears long gowns has a profound theoretical background. I will summarize this theoretical background and divide it into five schools to unify them. It's called "Robe Psychology".

The first is "secondary school as style".This faction can be represented by Qian Mu.Inheriting the legacy of Mr. Zhang Wenxiang, Mr. Qian advocated Eastern spiritual civilization, "Chinese learning is the body, Western learning is for use". Wearing a suit in the United States is an exception. When you enter the country and ask the customs, those who enter China are barbarians, not to mention Mr. Qian, who was a holy man?Personally, on the point of robes, I am enough to win glory for the National Essence School.Although the things outside the body are trivial things, "how can it be said? I can't bear the clothes of China, and I will be reduced to the barbarians!" Therefore, I am always fond of it, and I am passionate about it. I am always playing with it. You can follow Master Qian and reach the realm of "unprecedented since the Han and Tang Dynasties".What's more, the robe is the most brilliant manifestation of our oriental material civilization, and it is also a powerful weapon for us to resist cultural aggression. Its amoeba characteristics give us an infinite sense of security, and the yellow robe adds to the sun.When I think about the ancients, what is the material civilization of foreign devils to me?

The second is "male supremacy".This faction can be represented by certain women haters.Thinking back when the Qing people first entered the customs, Jin Zhijun suggested ten obediences and ten disobediences. The first rule was that men should not obey women, so at that time, men wore Qing Dynasty cheongsam and women wore Ming Dynasty clothing; after the Republic of China, it was popular for men to wear suits Only women can wear cheongsams.In other words, women are always behind us men, and always lagging behind the times. When I miss it, I am so happy!Unexpectedly, the good times didn’t last long, and within a few years, women began to wear the clothes of foreign women, but they didn’t give up the cheongsam in favor of the new and dislike the old, but intensified and introduced the cheongsam to Su Yihuang’s world, and the world’s You don't need to say too much to know at a glance that it hinders the view and decency.But you can't blame the little ladies.Because they are supported by ancient books, didn't they say so?

Black clothes are so good, I have to reform them again! There are poems to prove it, and the classics are the most important. Will the old scholars dare to talk more? Although there is a royal system in "Book of Rites" of "making... different clothes... killing the doubters!", but women are so cute, how can An Neng kill them with tears?What's more, the whole world leads the shore.There are as many double-faced Eves as ox hair and rabbit hair, but how can they be punished?Therefore, I advise Chitose to stop exporting the word kill, is it killing it?Do not kill!However, since they can't kill them quickly, some defenders of morality are naturally unconvinced and unwilling, but they hate that there are no new clothes to compete with them.Disappointed, I had no choice but to turn back, take out the long gown from the bottom of the box again, dry it in the sun, and put it on again, thinking to myself: It's also a banner man's gown, women wear it, but I can't wear it?Fuck it!How can a majestic man and a strange man let these rebellious women be more beautiful than before?So the "male supremacy faction" was established under the public outrage of "going to the crown and becoming a beauty".

The third is the "recruiting the bees and attracting the butterflies".This school can be represented by some big Baotou students.These nouveau riche "Tai" brand names run rampant everywhere, aiming to attract the attention of the opposite sex.But women are curious creatures, so it's not surprising that Ann can make it better?So the big Baotou came out one after another, some wearing black shirts, or tying up thin ties, or using women's handkerchiefs, or spraying lady's perfume... They tried every means, and they used everything to make them feel nasty. Here comes the brain.So I hurriedly rummaged through the box, but couldn't find it after searching for a long time, so I had to find a Shandong tailor to make two pieces, and took a floral scarf and wrapped it around the black neck. Not like Renjun, just look at his cabbage-style hair, we are enough!These arty and ignorant people, with their hideous faces, their black hearts, their robes can be sent to clothing stores, and their "bees and butterflies" can ask the Juvenile Delinquency Team to order them to be disbanded!

These four are "no suit pie".This school is just the opposite of the previous school. The former school wears long gowns to attract the opposite sex because of the suits mostly made of nylon, auron, dacron... colorful, wide and narrow, and tired of wearing them. There is no one dragon; and suits are changing with each passing day, with wide collars and narrow collars, three buttons and two buttons, and endless changes. Unless you have strong financial resources, you will never be able to keep up with the times and be elected as the best dressed man.If you wear a long robe, you won’t have this kind of trouble. You can lie down in the middle and lie high, and you can adapt to all changes without changing, and let other people’s materials come and go.Moreover, the noble Indanthrene never fades, just like our inherent culture is eternal and new, it is universally applicable, and it will not be confused for hundreds of generations. The small things in the robe can be used to describe the big, "get rid of the snake and turn into a dragon", After wearing the robe for a long time, his self-pity disappeared, and when he passed by the short-sleeved suit shop, he just looked away, and saw him spit out the saliva he had swallowed on the glass window, raised his head to the sky and shouted loudly: " How can I wear a robe? I have no other choice!"

The fifth is the "Ten Miles Foreign Field School".This faction is also known as the "professional robe faction".That robe has a mystical connection to his profession.For example, if you talk about cross talk, you will lose the appearance of talking poorly if you don’t wear a robe; if you play the huqin, you won’t be able to see the tune of shaking your head and tail if you don’t wear a robe; Grace.In addition, professors from the East, Tibetan lamas, cardinals, thugs from the Green Gang... all have to wear various robes when necessary to show their worth.Especially the big managers of the Shanghai gang, their brains are full and their intestines are fat, and it is almost impossible to wear a robe with a large capacity.Guys wearing suits, in addition to making them more like bears in the Himalayas, stiff collars, vests, armbands, narrow sleeves, belts, etc. are all terrifying rewards for them.Originally, a suit is not as comfortable as a robe, and the more standard the suit is, the more you will suffer. Except for the "freedom of the head", none of your clavicle, rib, humerus, radius, ulna, patella, fibula, and even buttocks are happy. of.And these heavyweight businessmen, because most of the white meat on their necks, even the only freedom of the head was exploited by themselves.Unbearable to look back, they took the lead in choosing robes on the one-way street. In addition to lightening the shackles and enjoying their food, they can also follow Dr. Lin Yutang's advice and use "the most humane clothes in the world" to cover their volatile clothes. All humanity gone!When Li Zi talked about the psychology of robes, he sighed and said:

In the past, the sage of Confucius once sighed "We are so small that Guan Zhong has his hair on his left jacket".From the day Cao Mengde cut his beard and cut off his robe, the robe showed signs of declining.One thousand and seven hundred years after Cao Cao's death, Huaxia's clothing was unfortunately reduced to Yidi. From the right lapel to the middle lapel, from the long garment to the short garment, the long robe was degraded to the national dress, and was listed in the Tailor Guild. In the long-term eyes, he looks like what Wu Luqin called "a small-breasted figure"!Isn't it sad and painful!Yu firmly believes that the robe should not be cut off, and I sincerely hope that my bloody Chinese standard will respond to He Fan's appeal as soon as Hu Fu is upright, take Li Ao as a model, and take Yu Youren ("Yu Youjin") as his refuge.The poem says: "How can you say that you have no clothes? You have the same robes as your son!" The style of robes has been around for thousands of years, this is the time!Sanyuan is old, but he can be in the same robe!This time is different, when will it be?Message to readers, hurry up! On March 15, 1961, at the "Four Seats House" in Taipei On March 13, 1962, the old work a year ago was changed, and on November 27, it was changed again