Chapter 9 Eight "It's not a pleasure" not to ask for a wife (Thirty-three articles)

In the past, Jin Shengtan had thirty-three poems about "It's not easy to be happy", and he took pleasure in it, but he wrote thirty-two poems about "It's not too happy not to ask for his wife", so as to make the wonders of the present and the past. One: You don’t have to compare yourself with other husbands, you don’t have to work hard for success, you have never been abroad, you are not afraid of complaints, you are not afraid of losing face, you are alone in the mountains and rivers of your homeland, and you are under the jurisdiction of the Taipei City Police Department. !

One: Don't need to look at pregnant women's big belly, it's fun! One: It would be nice not to blow up people with "red bombs" (wedding invitations)! One: It often makes people think that you are going to blow him up with a "red bomb". One: How pleasant it is to sing "Wang Laowu" with tears in your eyes! One: It would be a pleasure not to let the "parents of both parties" have the opportunity to publish a notice in the newspaper "Regarding all relatives and friends"! One: It would be nice not to have to be slapped in the face!

One: there is no need to kneel down.Not too bad! One: there is no need to top the lamp, it is not so happy! One: there is no need to hold the chamber pot, it is not so pleasant to make it for a few nights and then go away! One: You are not afraid of losing when you play mahjong. If you lose, you will not be disturbed. One: It is impossible to wear a cuckold by oneself, and it is possible to wear a cuckold for others, which is not so pleasant! (Or: If the hat is not green, it’s not too happy! Or: If I don’t work as a worker, someone else will do it, so it’s not too happy!) One: there is no need to drum up the basin, it is not so happy!

One: It's so fun to openly like female celebrities! One: It would be great to be able to teach in a girls' middle school! First, you can paste a woman with thighs on the wall, how happy it is! One: You can ask a female barber to cut your hair, how happy it is! One: You can eat Alan tofu from the department store, what a pleasure! One: Say goodnight to the third wife, the landlord and the third concubine, how pleasant it is! First of all, it is not so pleasant to openly read Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew"! First, it would be a pleasure to set fire to "Awakening Marriage"!

First, if you have money to manage by yourself, and if you have money to spend by yourself, it would be nice not to give it to the owner of the female coat shop once a year! One: It would be nice not to send the person next to me to have appendicitis cut in the middle of the night! One: There is no need to pay alimony, which is great! One: Don't let Schopenhauer and others be more beautiful than before, and be able to live in the "Bachelor's Biography" in ancient and modern China and abroad, how happy it is! One: You can pursue your old lover's daughter and make your old rival's beard and stare (it's not too late for a gentleman to take revenge).Not too happy!

One: if you don't wash your feet for ten days and a half months, it's not good! One: It would be nice not to have to boil the footwashing water for the mother tiger! First, as soon as the new female secretary heard that she was single, she was overjoyed, and made an "appointment" towards me. One: It can make the person who wants to marry me fall out of love, how happy it is! First, it can make the first love mistakenly regard me as the seed of infatuation, and regret not marrying me back then, what a pleasure! One: in the middle of the night, rushing freely to write articles to scold the boring literati in the 1930s, and imagine that they also want to get up in the middle of the night to write articles. Temporary anger is difficult to offend, but it is the dream of Zhou Gong or Zhou Po to go.Not too happy!One: It would be nice not to have to do the funeral for the mother-in-law!

Revised on December 7, 1962 It was revised again on August 16, 1963. Appendix It's not fun not to have a girlfriend (sour grapes) You don't have to talk tricks like a pug, and make fun of your girlfriend, it's not too pleasant! It's such a joy to make others think that I'm a good student! It's not so pleasant to get up in the middle of the night to talk about love and write love letters on paper! You don't have to rack your brains and think hard about financial resources. It's fun to invite your girlfriend to a restaurant or watch a movie! How pleasant it is not to cut the neck of "fertile soil" by ironing clothes as hard as iron brushes!

It is not so pleasant to have to hold the "demon mirror" and "grooming" all the time! Wouldn't it be nice not to let Mr. Siwen be in front of his beautiful son! How pleasant it is to make a girl think that I am an "ideal husband" and chase after me! It would be nice not to be scolded as "stupid goose" and "big stupid cow"! There is no need to spend money to buy "Treasure Book of Love Letters", "Must Reads for Love", studying hard behind closed doors, what a pleasure! When riding an "iron horse" uphill, you don't have to carry your girlfriend, panting out of breath: "It's nothing, no effort, no effort", what a pleasure!

You don't have to worry about other people's love being taken away by a knife, but it's not so pleasant to be able to "take the love of others by a knife!" There is no need to forget about eating and drinking, to think of all kinds of schemes, to intrigue with others, to show off, to compete for girlfriends, what a pleasure! There is no need to pay the love tax to the little hooligans, what a pleasure! You don't have to fight for your "progress" and other people's "little life" with a knife, how happy it is! How happy it is not to be "benefited" by dating during exams, but to be "full of reds"!

How pleasant it is not to have to hug your girlfriend's younger siblings when traveling, but to taste the "sweet shower"! What a joy it is not to have to spend money to buy a lot of "New Year's cards"! Don't be afraid to taste the taste of banana peel, what a joy! But openly talking about "Which family has a young girl who grows up" is not afraid of the "lion's roar" around her, how pleasant it is! How nice it is not to pretend to be a grandson in front of your girlfriend's parents! You don't have to recite day and night: "You are my sun in winter, ice cream in summer...", what a pleasure!

What a joy it is not to have to wait in the park eagerly waiting for Fangjia! There is no need to caress your girlfriend's skinny little brother against your conscience, how pleasant it is! How pleasant it is to write "Not having a girlfriend!" without fear of being punished for writing a "Repentance Letter"! (Supplement to Xinsheng Bao, December 30, 1963)