Chapter 23 Twenty-two, ambition

Brother Jin Shengtan: Are you having fun recently?When you are in Huangquan, do you often eat salted vegetables and soybeans? You have had a great influence on me.Your influence does not come from your comments, "Li Sao", "Historical Records", "Du Poems", and other talented books. Your attitude toward little things.Your cunt attitude influenced my outlook on life to a considerable extent when I was around forty years old. For example, I often think about a small question recently: hemorrhoids, to cure or not to cure? My middle school physical education teacher had hemorrhoids, and he was constantly in pain. He often showed a painful expression on his face thinking about life. When the illness was serious, his expression seemed to have just read "Buddhist Logic" overnight.When he couldn't take it anymore, he sat on a broken hard swimming ring, basked in the sun on the playground, and urged us to run laps around the playground. His hemorrhoids were hanging in the middle of the swimming ring, no weight or pressure, and his expression was happy Happiness, he said, if the swimming ring can breathe and the wind blows the buttocks, life will be complete.

Although it is said that nine out of ten men have hemorrhoids, hemorrhoids do not make them older, and they live a hundred years without hemorrhoids. For a long time, I have existed without hemorrhoids. Before I did not get hemorrhoids, I could not understand the pain and happiness of the physical education teacher.My hemorrhoids came quietly. For many years, I sat for a long time, addicted to spicy food, indulged in alcohol, and did not do levator ani exercises. When I woke up, the toilet paper to wipe my butt was stained with blood.The doctor touched it and said, internal hemorrhoids, five o'clock, rule out rectal tumors, whether to operate or not is up to you.

As for the operation, I heard that after the anesthesia wears off, life would be worse than death for a month.In order to prevent the wound from dying, stuffed with tampons.Every time the dressing is changed, it is like killing a pig.After one month, if you continue to sit for a long time, addicted to spicy food, or indulge in alcohol, you may relapse.Without surgery, there is always a non-healing wound on my body. When bleeding, the underwear is stained, and when the mouth is closed, it is swollen and itchy. I touch it and then grab something to eat. Fecal-oral transmission, stomach pain, continuous contact with infected dirt on the wound, It may also become malignant.

If you have hemorrhoids, do you treat them or not?The closest thing to hemorrhoids in your writing is one of the "Thirty-Three Is It So Happy": if you have three or four hemorrhoids in your private parts, you can drink hot soup and close the door to take a bath.Not too happy!I think you are probably dead. I have a lot of similar twists and turns, all because of various small things.Such as locking the door twice, such as picking up debris on the ground, such as having to urinate once before going to bed, such as not being able to stand the damage and scratches after things are taken over by themselves.I also know that things are bought for use, and when used, there will be scratches and damage.I also know that there are scratches and damage on the surface, even if it is a brand new thing, there are scratches on the surface under a magnifying glass of ten times, twenty times, or one hundred times.I even know that creation, protection, and destruction must maintain a balance. Even if it is cruel, destruction is necessary. When you look carefully, destruction is even beautiful.But I just look at the scratches and breakages caused by me, and I feel congested and unhappy in every way.

I have been criticizing myself for a long time, why can I see through the "big things" such as birth, old age, sickness and death, gain and loss of fame and fortune, and understand all the big principles of life, but I am morbidly obsessed with these trivial things? "Aren't you afraid of death, but afraid of scratches?" In order to overcome my own problems, I once intentionally wore a watch that was scratched by me when I was drunk for a long time. The first-class Bai Yuchan of the Han Dynasty and Eight Swords hopes that the mind will gradually adapt to this imperfection, the flowers fall, the water flows, the clouds go, and the spirit is calm.As a result, she became upset and irritable, kicking the dog and scolding the cat, meditating was useless, she lost her spiritual practice, and had nightmares again and again. The dreams were full of Bai Yuchan who was missing a left eye, and the broken section was dazzling in the dreams night after night.

For similar things, your way of dealing with them is: "If a good magnet is damaged, it will never be finished. If you look at it repeatedly, it will be unsatisfactory. Because the chefs are declared to be used as miscellaneous utensils, it will never be more eye-catching. It is not the same. Hurry!" Simply put, out of sight, out of mind. Well, I am a layman, I am thousands of miles away from Buddha, your attitude towards small things has taught me, and I have made great ambitions: "If you don't affect others, if you can't get through small things, don't force yourself to go through it. Da Tongda, It's my ambition to live the rest of my life as a cunt and do nothing."

Hemorrhoids are not cured, and I keep them to relieve boredom, swelling, itching, pain, and bleeding every month without dying. It helps me understand the pain of girls and reminds me that life exists in the physical body every moment. Feng Tang