Chapter 8 write to pregnant woman

Zhong Min: Calculate your pregnancy should be close to more than seven months.When cicadas sound everywhere in Taipei, the baby will arrive.Are you happy or anxious? Before Hua An was born, An's father and I went to a six-week "Ramaez Production" course together.A nursing home in Taiwan—now called Tai Adventist Hospital—taught expecting couples free of charge how to adapt to the process of giving birth with will and breath.With six weeks of preparation, the huge, tearing pain of giving birth was something I had never imagined.I struggled to adjust my breathing on the bed, and when the pain hit me, I could only think angrily: Fuck Ramez, how could the will be able to stand such a huge pain!

So Jianping should accompany you into the delivery room.A child belongs to two people, and giving birth to a child is also a matter of two people.When doctors and nurses are running in and out for many patients, only your husband can hold your hand and accompany you through every pain and abuse.There is no better time for husband and wife to help each other.Two people go through the pain together first, and then share the joy after the pain. An American doctor in Taiwan told me that 70% of men in Taiwan, China, are unwilling to accompany their wives into the delivery room.Some said that "having a child is to investigate someone's business";

The bloody An'an was pinched out with pliers.Unlike the TV script, I didn't hold him in my chest immediately, with tears of happiness and love in my eyes.The lower body was anesthetized and felt like a corpse. I was exhausted physically and mentally on the verge of collapse. I couldn't even arouse interest in looking at the baby.The doctor gently placed the little life that had just cut the umbilical cord in the huge palm of Papa Ann. "The moment his naked and slippery body touched my palm, I began to love him." Hua An's father said proudly, "Don't forget, I was the first person in the world to hug him."

What a blessing it is to be able to witness the cosmic development and embrace the fresh life in this way!There are men who refuse such a privilege. Remember the time when I was breastfeeding?Invite you graduate students to the next reception room for class, and I will breastfeed you before you come.I always sit in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows and look at Guanyin Mountain and Tamsui River from a distance.The baby greedily held the mother's full breasts, sucking and sucking, feeling the mother's tenderness and heartbeat.I have been breastfeeding Hua An for a full year. Up to now, when I see other mothers undressing and breastfeeding, I can't help but stop and look at the fat little hands stroking the plump breasts, and the baby's contented and comfortable little face. , look at the gentleness of the mother bowing her head, ah, I am overwhelmed by it, I really want to do it again.

One night, Xi Murong invited me to Fule on Zhongshan North Road to eat.He ordered a big milkshake for me. I raised the glass and didn't put it down. I gulped it down until the glass was empty.He called for a second cup, raised his head and drank it all in one gulp.Then order a third cup... Xi Murong stared at me blankly, speechless.I'm happy and feel like I'm a chewing cow from head to toe, not an inch of mind, not an inch of mind, all body, all appetite, all physiology - God created woman and made her a reproductive womb Media, I became a part of creation, and my heart was filled with happiness.

Can you breastfeed yourself? Then, there is the so-called "confinement".Many Chinese women are forbidden to take a bath, wash their hair, etc. in a room with closed doors and windows during the month after giving birth.Even if you don't want to, your mother-in-law or mother will insist, won't you? Of course, I dare not say that "confinement" is absolutely unreasonable.Some Taiwanese physicians have also begun to use Western medical theories to support various "confinement" practices, just as some people use modern physics and architecture to support China's Feng Shui and Five Elements Theory.But these theories didn't convince me; two weeks after Hua'an was born, I tied him to my chest and went to Guanyin Mountain.Sometimes, Papa Ann tied him on his back, and the half-month-old baby looked very small on the generous back.The old farmer with the hoe along the way opened his eyes wide and asked:

"Ah, a foreigner carrying a baby? Is that kid real or fake?" Those who are bolder will catch up, touch the baby's hand, and then announce to their partners: "Wow, it's true!" I started teaching a few days after giving birth, remember?Female employees of Tamkang University are entitled to maternity leave due to the Labor Standards Act, but female professors are not granted maternity leave.It's hard to believe.The school's unwritten practice is that during the period when female professors give birth, they must find someone to take over the class and give up their salary at the same time.The strange thing is that no female professor protested this inhumane and unreasonable practice for many years!When I mentioned that "The University of Tampa does not give maternity leave to female professors", a female professor said:

"Who said there is no? You can rest at home for two months, but you have to find someone to take over the class and you don't get paid. Who said there is no maternity leave in Tamil University?" Alas, with such a female professor, it is no wonder that she is treated so unreasonably.One is willing to fight, the other loves to be beaten! Your mother-in-law may insist that you stay in confinement; think about it, in Taipei on August day, it may not be very comfortable not to wash your hair for a month.However, the differences between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law, bred by the birth of the child, may not be limited to the issue of confinement or not.The daughter-in-law wants to let the baby sleep on the stomach, saying that it feels more secure and has a beautiful head shape; the mother-in-law said: "What can I do? The child will suffocate to death!" The daughter-in-law wants the baby to wear less clothes, and the mother-in-law said: "What can I do? The child will freeze!" The daughter-in-law wants to do this, and the mother-in-law says that; in most Chinese families, the mother-in-law may always have to listen to her in the end, because the mother-in-law has a high status, and because Chinese men are mainly "sons" and "husbands" "For the second time, because the newborn baby belongs to the entire big family, the eldest grandson who bears the responsibility of inheriting the family line, and not simply belongs to the woman who gave birth to him.

In a Western family it is easier.The mother of the child has the greatest rights, and everyone has to respect the rights of the "birth mother".My mother-in-law clearly understands that the baby is my son first and her grandson second.Regarding the child's upbringing, she can help from the side, or provide experience from others, and even express different opinions, but her last sentence is always: "Of course, the decision is still up to you as a mother." I like it this way.The experiences and concepts of the previous generation and the next generation are different, and the objective environment is constantly changing.There are definitely more differences than agreeable views on child rearing.When two generations simultaneously strive for "sovereignty" over their children, conflicts cannot be avoided.So should this "sovereignty" go to mothers or grandmas?I believe that mothers have natural rights, and any system that deprives mothers of their birth and parenting rights is not biological.

Zhong Min, I am not asking you to go to revolution after giving birth.No matter what, the mother-in-law also loves her grandson. In this world, everything that has love is easier to handle. What is afraid of is hate, not love.I hope your baby will be born with love and grow with love.In August, you can't help but be delighted. Hua An's mother