Chapter 6 ambition

Ruobing came to Europe to see old friends, Hua An's mother had been looking forward to it for a long time.At the dinner table, she described this college classmate who was going to visit tomorrow to Papa Hua: "She is very beautiful, but she is always cold. When I was in college, I envied her aloofness. She didn't laugh when she listened to jokes, and she didn't laugh when she saw people. Everyone thought she was very deep, and I couldn't even learn it. Come." Hua's father said "Oh" perfunctorily; he has never been interested in girls with "depth" in Taiwan. He likes wild kittens like Zhong Chuhong or emotional women like Sanmao.

But my mother continued to recall: "Ruobing's clothes are always the most exquisite. After becoming a single nobleman, she doesn't wear clothes designed by famous designers. She hates dogs and all the small animals in the world. Once I saw three or four on the school lawn. A chubby, fluffy puppy was basking in the sun with the bitch, happily squatting down to pet the puppy. Ruobing just passed by and said, "What a disgusting puppy, limp and horrible! She is far away, I'm afraid that my hand that touched the suckling dog will touch her." "Mom, come," Hua An, who had already had dinner, came and tugged at his mother's sleeve, "tell a story!"

"No! I've told you many times that Mom and Dad can't play with you while eating, wait five minutes." Mom's tone was a bit fierce, annoyed that her son interrupted her narration. Hua An burst into tears with a "wow".The little boy had such a loud voice that Dad plugged his fingers into his ears and continued eating.Enduring harsh pain, the mother fought with the little red guards: "Hua An, you can't use crying as a weapon. If you cry again, mother will make you stand in the corner as punishment." There was only a big round mouth on the little face crying up to the sky, and a tear slid down the corner of the mouth.The father put down the tableware, pushed away the chair, bent down to pick up his son, and stopped crying halfway. Hua An asked his father to tell him the story of the seven crows in German instead.

Mother sighed and said, "How do you tell me to educate him?" Neither the father nor the son heard what their mother said; the two were reading the book of Seven Crows together, and Hua An, who was sitting in his father's arms, had a tear carefully hanging on his cheek. Before Ruobing came, my mother had already asked the Spanish aunt to clean the house, but my mother still had to spend half an hour on the details.This auntie has a habit she can't break - she likes to fill in the blanks.For example, a hair comb was placed on the vegetable cutting table in the kitchen (probably when my mother was combing her hair in the bathroom, she found Hua An climbed up to the vegetable cutting table by herself, and rushed to rescue her in a hurry, so the comb was left there). Instead of taking the hairbrush to the bathroom and putting it back in place, she would do it right in the kitchen: find a hole and put the hairbrush in, hide it, and the kitchen counter would be clean.If she finds a pen on the coffee table in the living room, she will not take the pen to the study. She looks for a hole in the living room, finds it, and inserts the pen in, and the coffee table will be refreshed.

As a result, my mother often finds by accident: the hair comb is placed in the beer glass, the pen is hidden under the fish tank, the dirty socks shrunk into a ball are dusty and stuffed in the vase, the spatula is inserted in the belly of the toy truck... …Before these unexpected discoveries, of course, it was a desperate search.The items that mom is looking for now include: a family budget book (will it lie flat under the cutting board?), a box of face cream (will it be in the refrigerator?), a wool glove (Could it, um, be in the toilet?), and other little bits and pieces that Mom couldn't remember because it took so long to find them.

The Spanish aunt came three times a week, each time for two hours, and my mother had to pay the equivalent of NT$350 per hour. "It's okay," my mother said to herself while counting the money, "as long as she doesn't use the toilet brush to clean the dishes and hide the chopsticks in the drain, it's fine, it's fine." But Ruobing, who is obsessed with cleanliness, is coming, so my mother has to be very careful.She turned over the carpet to see if there were any record jackets underneath; she lay on the floor and leaned on the corner of the bookshelf against the wall, and she found a firetruck.After cleaning up, Mom started to clean up herself.Take off the sportswear that is sticky with cereal, and wash the hair that smells of milk.When she looked in the mirror, she found that the lipstick that Hua An had painted on her face in the morning was like a tattoo, horizontally and vertically.

Mom dressed up specially, she didn't want Ruobing to say that she was a yellow-faced woman.Looking in the mirror for the last time, my mother saw a few white hairs on her forehead, and also saw the wrinkles that could not be concealed by light makeup. The ten-year-old daughter who leaned beside her said, "Daughter, my mother is getting old. Look, there are so many wrinkles at the age of thirty-six!" That childish daughter, looking at her thirty-six-year-old self in the mirror at this moment, feels that the order of the universe is advancing steadily at the pace of steel, from the beginning to the end, with a strict and tight rhythm, and no one can slow down.

Mom sighed softly, and the doorbell rang loudly. Ruo Bing is an independent woman. When she goes to any country, she doesn't like to be picked up at the airport. "Mother-in-law, it's troublesome! I have to say goodbye, shake hands, and greet, I hate it!" she said. The door opened, and the two of them looked at each other for a moment, Ruo Bing blurted out, "Why did you become like this, yellow-faced woman?!" Mom opened her arms, hugged the old friend affectionately, and smelled the faint scent of jasmine perfume on her body. The visitor stepped into the living room and asked, "Where's the son?"

"Don't you hate small animals?" Mom said, "Send them to kindergarten." When Hua An came back, Ruobing was talking about her annual plan.During the one-year vacation, half a year is used to visit art galleries and scenic spots in Western Europe, and two months to travel in mainland China. It is best to take the train from Moscow to Beijing through Siberia.In the remaining four months, I will concentrate on writing a few comparative literature papers. "Mom," Hua An kept a distance and watched the stranger warily, "Who is she?" "This is Aunt Leng from Taipei, and this is Hua An. Come and shake hands."

Hua An looked at Aunt Leng without blinking. The guest was a little embarrassed when shaking hands, and he didn't have the urge to hug Hua An, nor did he pretend to be affectionate to get close to the child.Hua An was already standing in front of her lap, playing with the jewelry on her chest. "What name, mother?" "Necklace, that thing is called a necklace, baby." "Very beautiful!" Hua An expressed his admiration for Ruobing's taste, but he also felt that this aunt was different from the usual aunts who liked to hug him and kiss him.He soon went to shipbuilding on his own.

"How's your life going?" The guest breathed a sigh of relief, rumpled his silk trousers, and sipped his mint tea gracefully. "I—" my mother said while pouring milk for her son, "followed my son up at seven o'clock in the morning, served him early, washed him, changed his diaper, dressed him, urged him to wash his face and brush his teeth, and then tidy up. Nine Take him to the kindergarten before 10 o'clock. You can start work at ten o'clock..." "write an essay?" "No, let's start reading first. There are a lot of newspapers and magazines, and I can't finish reading. When the deadline is approaching, I sit at the desk from eleven o'clock in the afternoon until four o'clock in the afternoon. I don't have time for lunch. At four o'clock, Hurry to the kindergarten to pick up the baby. After four o’clock, the time is his again. Accompany him to play in the park for an hour, come back to make dinner, serve him to eat, take a bath, tell a story, until nine o’clock in the evening when he goes to bed , I'm almost half-paralyzed as well." Ruobing looked at her mother sympathetically and said, "I remember you had many plans before An An was born..." "Of course," my mother's words were interrupted by Hua An, who asked her to help load the lifeboat on board—"I still think about the many things I want to do every day. I want to study the latest Western literary criticism theory. For example, Dehida’s deconstructionism, I know the theory, but I don’t know how to use it to dissect the works, its advantages and limitations. I also want to know more about the contemporary literature of Eastern Europe, such as Hungary and the Czech Republic, and despotic and impoverished Romania. Hey, did you know? Ionesco's plays are being performed in Romania again, and he's a real Romanian even though he's writing in French—oh my God— " Sitting in front of the tape recorder, Hua An was concentrating on pulling out the tapes from the case. The tapes that had been pulled out were messed up and tangled up. Ruo Bing watched her mother go to rescue those tapes, fidgeting and said: "Won't he sit down quietly and read a book?" Mother took a pencil and inserted it into the recording card, curled up and said, "Ruobing, have you ever seen a little monkey sitting quietly and reading a book?" "Hua An, would you like to watch Snow White?" Mom played the video, knowing that Snow White would bring about half an hour of silence. "I also want to read a large number of novels by contemporary mainland writers, from north to south, one by one, and then write criticism, one by one. "I still want to travel. Like you, go to the mainland. I want to spend two months in Tibet, one month in northern Shaanxi, one month in northeast China, and one month in Shanghai and Beijing. I also think of Inner Mongolia. I also think of small towns in southern France. In the countryside, walk from village to village, and look at river by river. "I also want to write first-class interviews and reports, using countries as the topics, and writing country by country. Use the most lively way to write in-depth on the most boring topics, and bring real people to readers. "And want to make a TV show—" "What do you mean?" Ruo Bing asked lightly, "Don't you look down on TV the most?" "Listen!" Mom glanced at the TV, and the seven dwarfs were pointing around the sleeping princess. She continued, "I want to make a European series, and each country will make a one-hour video. For example, introducing Switzerland One episode, the title could be called "Who is Swiss? "It presents the strange phenomenon of mixed languages, races, and cultures in this small country of Switzerland. This is not a glimpse of the scenery and people, but a documentary that digs deeply, explores problems, and sees cultural society. Of course, behind every film there is the author's thought. It’s like a book, including personality and perspective. After finishing Switzerland, Germany—West Germany and East Germany; and then each volume of the video is published and distributed like a book..." The mother spoke with bright eyes, looking forward to it, and the guest said coldly: "Will there be a 'reader' for such a thing?" "Why not? Ruobing," my mother gesticulated excitedly, "Taiwan can't just rely on money, but also has connotations—" "Mom," Hua An tugged at her mother's skirt, "There's ㄍㄚㄍㄚ." "Oh——" Mom squatted down and sniffed the baby, well, the smell was very strong, and she said, "Baby, can you tell mom before you have ㄍㄚㄍㄚ, don't wait until after you have ㄍㄚㄍㄚ? Switzerland The average child can go to the bathroom without a diaper at the age of 27 months. You will be 27 months in a few days, can you help me?" Hua An asked her mother to lead her to the bathroom noncommittally. Back in the living room, my mother turned off the TV, took out colored pens and drawing paper, spread them on the floor, and let Ann play with colors and draw. "Also," my mother continued, "I want to do one more thing, which is to publish a series of children's books. I can find Chu Ge—do you know Chu Ge, an old child? Choose ten families in Taiwan, each representative For example, a fisherman's family in Keding, a farmer's family in Pingtung, a Hakka family in Sanyi, a miner's family in Keelung, an aborigine's family in Lanyu, a shepherd's family in Taitung, etc. Families with young children. We visit and observe their home life, with children as the core, and then Chu Ge draws and I write, and the life stories of each family become a children's book, so that children in Taiwan can learn about Taiwanese lifestyle and Taiwan's environment—what do you think?" "I'm hungry, Mom, I'm hungry!" Hua An came to me again at some point, and tugged on her mother's sleeve, "Mom, I'm starving to death!" The villain pinched his protruding stomach, expressing that he was seriously hungry. Ruo Bing stood up suddenly, bent down to clean up the scattered crayons.Mom just found out: Ah, when did the living room become a mess again?In one corner there are photobooks in disorder, in another corner there is a pile of collapsed building blocks; books are scattered from the bookshelves on the floor, chair cushions are dragged from the chairs and stacked to form a house. After her mother gave Hua An a ham and tofu sandwich, she raised her legs over toys, books, and chair cushions, and fell down on the sofa, feeling extremely tired.Ruo Bing observed the words and expressions from the side, and said in a very warm voice: "Such ideals and plans cannot be realized after becoming a mother, right?" Mom lay softly on the sofa and said weakly, "Yes!" "Do you regret it?" When Ruo Bing asked, she had a complicated expression on her face, she was a person who studied life. Hua An quietly climbed onto the sofa, lying on his mother's body with his whole body, resting his head on his mother's chest, feeling his mother's heartbeat and tenderness comfortably, contentedly and quietly. Mother hugged Hua An with her arms around her, gently rubbing his hair with her chin, and didn't speak for a while. Then she said: "It's okay!" After being silent for a while, he said again, "Some experiences are indescribable."