Chapter 78 Chapter 78 Application of "Holding"

The word "praise" is knowledgeable, skillful, and lofty, but it conflicts with the instinct of human nature, so it is extremely difficult to find people who are really willing to praise others.The successful cases of praising people throughout the ages are also very rare.But now that we have understood the law of human cognition, it is not difficult to find the law of flattering people. When flattering someone, it is necessary to praise the real advantages of the other party - this advantage may be real, but it does not rule out the possibility that it is the self-personality recognition of the person being praised.In other words, you have to praise what the other party approves. As for whether the matter is true or false, it doesn't matter.In fact, it is the other party's arrogance to praise others, and the other party's heart is shaken and dizzy, only in this way can the other party be satisfied.

And a person's self-contained personality, from the inside out, from high to low, is composed of the following elements: One is virtue. Since human thinking and cognition are lighthouse-like, they must have the illusion of God, thinking that if they close their eyes inadvertently, the whole world will cease to exist.However, most ancient emperors had the illusion that they were the "savior" of the people. They were so arrogant that they thought that without themselves, the people would live in darkness all day long.Therefore, to praise people cleverly, one should start from this psychological weakness.

During the Eastern Jin Dynasty, the power minister Huan Xuan wanted to be the emperor, so he abolished the Jin family and ascended the throne himself.But when he just walked to the throne and sat down, there was a slap, and the emperor's dragon throne collapsed, throwing Huan Xuan out of his wits, and he was terrified.Could it be that God is angry and won't let us be emperor?When they were frightened, suddenly one person came out from the crowd, but it was the old minister Yin Zhongwen, who heard him go up and congratulate him: "Congratulations, Your Majesty, congratulations, Your Majesty, today's incident is due to the profound holiness of the Lord, and the earth cannot bear it, so Only then will there be a clatter." As soon as this remark came out, Huan Xuan was overjoyed, and immediately rewarded Yin Zhongwen heavily, with chariots and horses, extremely beautiful, beautiful, concubines, strings and silk bamboos, and the political treatment given to Yin Zhongwen was no less than that of the emperor. Huan Xuan himself.

The second key point of flattering people is the character of the other party.Although we know that the person who became a monarch in ancient times had a murderous habit, but you must not say it so seriously, but you must twist your strengths and try to stimulate the good side of the other party's human nature.As Confucius said: "There are five ways to persuade others, and I follow them with irony." It means that there are five ways to persuade others. I, Lao Kong, proposed to be side-splitting instead of straight-forward. For example, during the Spring and Autumn Period, in order to satisfy his desire for extravagance, the king of Chen State built a high platform. Because a craftsman came to advise him, the king was furious and ordered the craftsman to be pushed out and beheaded immediately.It so happened that Confucius came at this time, climbed onto the high platform, looked into the distance, and said to Chen Guoguo with great interest: "It is really the most perfect viewing platform in the world. Such a beautiful scenery can only be seen by the kindest and kindest people like you." Only the monarch is eligible to visit, don’t you think so?” Chen Guojun could only nod his head: “That’s right, only a kind person like me is qualified to visit the high places.” While chatting with Confucius, he quietly instructed people Go down quickly and free the artisan.

The third point of flattering people is the wisdom of the other party.Although we have a negative attitude towards the wisdom of others from the bottom of our hearts, this is exactly the characteristic of lighthouse thinking and cognition. We look down on the common people from a high position, and at the same time we feel compassion, and at the same time, we have the illusion of being wise and powerful.This delusion leads to such a rule: the so-called stupid people are those who think they are very smart.Because a stupid person does not realize his own stupidity, if he does, he will quickly evolve into a wise person.Everyone has a stupid time, and everyone has a stupid mentality, so touting each other's wisdom and wisdom is a convenient way to success.

Mu Zhang'a, a minister during the Daoguang period of the Qing Dynasty, was a wise man who was well versed in human nature. Just one sentence: "Yes, yes, yes, Your Majesty is as powerful as the sky, and my generation is absolutely inferior..." People despised his character and wrote a couplet to mock him: "Yes, yes, yes, master Hong Fu. Yes, Yes, yes, the emperor is wise." Judging from this couplet alone, this person should be a mediocre person with no talent or virtue.However, when Mu Zhang'a was in his later years, he suddenly sent invitations to the officials in the court, saying that he died on a certain day in a certain year, and invited everyone to a banquet.Everyone didn't know what the hell he was doing, so they rushed away when the day came.Seeing Mu Zhang'a coming out, inviting everyone to sit, look at his color, it is white and red, different, there is no sign of death at all.Then everyone sat down to eat, Mu Zhang'a was chatting and laughing happily, and as he talked, when it was the time specified on his invitation, he said: "I should go..." After the words fell, his person suddenly became one. The cold corpse made everyone feel terrified.

From this, we can know that only those people with thick skins who can put down their body to flatter others are the wise men who have thoroughly understood the laws of life. Mu Zhang'a is a typical example. The fourth point of flattering people is to flatter the other party's authority.However, it is more difficult to praise this method, because authority is something outside of the body. Although those in power think that they should gain power or even greater power based on their own talents and wisdom, talent and wisdom are the things that are most appreciated by those in power. of.Therefore, touting the other party's power and authority is generally meaningless. In history, the one with a little bit of fun is the monk Falin in the Tang Dynasty, who provided us with a passable success story.

During the Tang Dynasty, Emperor Taizong Li Shimin of the Tang Dynasty considered Taoism as the state religion, because Lao Tzu, the ancestor of Taoism, was also surnamed Li, and his name was Li Er, and everyone surnamed Li in the world was one family.However, when this decision was announced, it immediately aroused strong protests from Buddhists. A monk named Falin said: "Li Shimin's Li is Longxi Li, and Lao Tzu Li Er's Li is Daibei Li. They are all Lis, but they are not Lis at all." The worst thing is that Monk Falin also found out that Lao Tzu's father was a beggar... This angered Li Shimin, so he arrested Monk Falin and said: "You Didn’t the Buddhists say that as long as you recite the Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva for seven days and seven nights, you will be invulnerable? Now I will give you seven days, you read it for me, and after seven days, let’s stab you a few times with a knife.” In the blink of an eye, seven days passed Now, monk Falin was taken out of the prison, and Li Shimin asked him: "You have recited Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva for seven days and seven nights, now let's try to see if a knife can penetrate it." At this time, Falin said something, and he said: "Your Majesty, I haven't recited Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva for the past seven days. What I have recited is Your Majesty."

Li Shimin was immediately dumbfounded by Monk Falin's words.Monk Falin has read Li Shimin for seven days. If Li Shimin wants to kill Falin, doesn't that mean that it is useless to read him, the majestic Emperor Taizong of Tang?If he read Tang Taizong and was killed, it is obvious that Li Shimin denied his own value.He couldn't deny himself, so he had to spare Falin from killing him. Praising the authority of the other party is often a last resort when it is extremely dangerous.But under normal circumstances, all those in power wish to prolong their lives and live forever.Therefore, praising each other's physical and mental health is the fifth point that needs to be paid attention to when praising someone.

For example, during the Wu Zhou era, when Wu Zetian robbed the Li family, Zhu Qianyi wrote a letter, saying: "I dreamed that your majesty lived to be eight hundred years old." So Zhu Qianyi was immediately promoted to an official position. The sixth point of complimenting people is to praise people's talents. You should always say to people: You are so talented... When you say it, you must be sincere and convinced.Because people in the world, even if they are illiterate, just think that they don't want to be literate. If he is willing, then there will be no such famous masters as Li Bai and Du Fu in this world.

In the Tang Dynasty, there was a man named Yongtao who was the official of Jianzhou.He doesn't like guests, and anyone who comes to ask for money will be humiliated without exception.One day, a poor scholar named Feng Daoming came to the door and said: "Yong Yuanwai and I are old acquaintances, please let me know." I have never met you in life, where did you know me?" Feng Daoming replied: "I recite your poems every day and admire your virtues. I meet you every day in beautiful poems, how can it be said that I am a stranger?" After finishing speaking, Feng Daoming recited two lines of Yong Tao's poem casually: "Being a green grass man sees first, but walking close to white lotus fish is unknown. The sound of Jiang enters the temple in autumn, and the rain invades the building at night. People behind closed doors are often suspicious of illness. The flowers in the courtyard don't look like poverty." After hearing this, Yong Tao was overjoyed, and immediately ordered his family to hold a banquet with wine, and warmly entertained Feng Daoming. The seventh key point of flattering people is to praise the other party's leadership ability.For example, during the period of the Five Hu and Sixteen Kingdoms, Shi Le, the leader of the Later Zhao Kingdom, had a banquet for the ministers and asked the minister: "Look at a certain family, which one can be compared with the ancient monarchs?" The minister replied: "Your Majesty's martial arts strategy surpasses Emperor Gaozu of the Han Dynasty, no one in the world can compare with you." Although Shi Le smiled, his mind was still very clear, so he said with a smile: "Quickly pull it down, people have self-knowledge, I don't know myself yet ?If I meet Liu Bang, Emperor Gaozu of the Han Dynasty, he must be his courtier. At most, I can sit side by side with Han Xin and Peng Yue. But if I meet Liu Xiu, Emperor Guangwu of the Han Dynasty, I can compare pictures with him. " Shi Le is a sensible person, that's why he became the Lord of the Later Zhao Kingdom.In the presence of intelligent people, there is no advantage in exaggerating.But in this world, there are few smart people and many foolish people, and when you meet foolish people, there is definitely no harm in exaggerating them. The eighth point of flattering people is to flatter each other's self-cultivation and tolerance.Self-restraint and tolerance are difficult to praise, because this thing is relatively unfamiliar to most people, and most people live their entire lives without knowing what self-restraint and tolerance are.It is precisely because of this that once the right way is promoted, it will have a miraculous effect. In the late Qing Dynasty, Zeng Guofan and Zuo Zongtang were both ministers of ZTE. These two people fought openly and secretly and were not angry with each other.This kind of competition completely pushed Zeng Guofan's staff into the fire pit, because they could not belittle Zuo Zongtang too much, which violated Zeng Guofan's honesty.But if you don't demote Zuo Zongtang, how can you exalt Zeng Guofan?No one can solve this problem, so everyone tries to avoid it as much as possible. At this time, a young man came to see Zeng Guofan, and the conversation during the meeting inadvertently turned to the evaluation of Zeng Guofan and Zuo Zongtang.I only heard the young man say: "Zuo Zongtang is awe-inspiring and upright, and no one dares to bully you. Zeng Shuai, you treat people with sincerity, and no one can bear to be bullied." As soon as this remark came out, Zeng Guofan was overjoyed, and immediately arranged for this young man to supervise the construction of the fort.But on the second day, the young man ran away with more than a thousand taels of silver. Everyone was angry and asked to chase after him, but Zeng Guofan sighed: "People can't bear to be bullied, people can't bear to be bullied, this man is still young, and the silver he took away Not much, let him go." Just saying that people can't bear to be bullied, Zeng Guofan couldn't bear to chase back the abducted silver. It can be seen that the young man's holding just rightly won Zeng Guofan's heart. The ninth point of flattering people is to flatter each other's aesthetic ability.Relatively speaking, the point of this praise mainly falls on women, such as praising women for their super-tasteful choice vision, praising women for their elegant life and so on.For those in power who have high emotional intelligence and are in high positions, choosing this point as a breakthrough point and touting it will also make the other party smile.For example, Tang Xuanzong liked to be praised for his musical accomplishments, while Zhuangzong of the later Tang Dynasty in the Five Dynasties liked to be praised for his excellent performing arts. Ming Xizong in the late Ming Dynasty liked to be praised for his superb carpentry.In short, it is to find out what the other party likes and is good at the most, and only when it is touted will it show results. The tenth point of flattering people is to flatter each other's appearance and demeanor.You must know that the officialdom is where power is concentrated, and power is a youthful agent for men. A man who has power can easily win the favor of women, which makes the power holder have a strong illusion that his appearance is overwhelming.For example, in the later Zhou Dynasty, Wu Zetian raised two male favorites, Zhang Changzong and Zhang Yizhi. Among them, Zhang Changzong was outstanding in appearance. His nickname was Liulang, so all the officials flattered: "Liulang's appearance is as cute as a lotus flower." At this time A minister jumped out and raised his arms and shouted: "Who said that Liulang looks like a lotus? I think it should be that a lotus looks like Liulang." So the Zhang brothers were overjoyed, and Wu Zetian was also overjoyed. However, it is too frivolous to praise the other party's appearance in officialdom.It should be known that flattering people is a scientific and rigorous work, and what is important is that the evil desires in the other party's heart cannot be aroused no matter what.But flattering the other party's appearance is very easy to stir up the evil of human nature hidden in the other party's heart.Once you turn the other party into a villain, not only will you not get any benefits, but you will be bitten by the other party. Therefore, you must be cautious about this, and you must not abuse it unless you are in an extreme situation.