Chapter 27 Chapter 27 Official Admonition III: Words Will Hurt Others

The iceberg law of officialdom tells us that in officialdom, the hidden interests are intertwined, and many people may not be able to understand clearly after a lifetime of ups and downs in one place.However, it is these hidden forces that dominate the results of reality, and the failure of many people is often doomed from the very beginning—because you don’t know the power of this kind of power, and unintentional offenses and random ridicules may completely destroy you. out of the way. The ancient Chinese believed in the kitchen god, and believed that even in their own homes, there were a pair of fiercely trembling ears hidden, and the private words they said with their families would be passed on to the people who decided their own destiny in the first place.This is certainly a psychological scar left by the era of spying, but it does not rule out the vigilance brought about by the Chinese people suffering from the torture of interpersonal interests, and offending others for the slightest carelessness.

Generally speaking, as long as one is aware of the existence of others and takes care not to disobey others, there will be no major problems.If you do a good job in this area, the achievements in life will often be greater than you expected. During the Southern and Northern Dynasties, the military forces of ethnic minorities ran rampant in the north, and the Jin family was forced to move south. Sima Rui, the royal family who fled to the south, finally ascended the throne as emperor after receiving the support of the northern family king Dao, and opened up a small dynasty in the Eastern Jin Dynasty. half of the rivers and mountains.

After Sima Rui ascended the throne, he was very grateful to Dao Wang, so he took Dao Wang's hand and sat side by side with him on the dragon chair. People at the time said: "The king and the horse unite the world."It means that the power and influence of the Wang family has reached the highest level of power. So, since Dao Wang is able to merge with the emperor, what extraordinary abilities does he have? Surprisingly, Director Wang's only ability is to praise others.He is a well-known master of boasting in history, and he suffers from severe boasting disorder. If he doesn't praise others for a day, he will feel uncomfortable all over.

When Director Wang was the governor of Yangzhou, he used to have a big banquet with hundreds of guests. Director Wang praised everyone well. Everyone was overjoyed.However, there was a person from Linhai called Ren Yu who was not praised, and there were also a few guests from ethnic minorities who did not understand Chinese. Seeing this situation, Wang Dao went to Ren Yu's seat first, and said to Ren Yu with a pleasant face, "Your Excellency is really a rare talent. Since you appeared in Linhai, there is no one in Linhai who can compare with you. gone." Ren Yu was overjoyed.

Then Director Wang went to the seats of the minority guests and imitated the other party's language and said: "Lanzhu." The words were similar, and the brothers from ethnic minorities immediately smiled when they heard it.So the house was full of joy, and everyone was immersed in happiness. It is human nature to long to hear compliments from others.The reason is that people have a sense of nothingness in their noumenon consciousness.When a person's personality is formed, he will be faced with several quite serious philosophical questions: Who am I?do i really existIf I don't exist, does this world still exist?Especially the last question is the most heart-wrenching.Both emperors in ancient times and criminals in modern society were confused on the last issue. Because they mistakenly believed that after their death, the world would cease to exist, so they would do things by hook or by crook, regardless of the consequences, and even their descendants Ignore the well-being.

Similarly, because the human mind cannot grasp itself, and the personality is in a state of being shaken at any time, so people need a strong external positive signal input to prove their own existence. This is manifested in ordinary people, that is, they keep telling themselves: "I am strong, I have reasons to succeed, I am an indispensable scenery in this world..." But the cruel reality constantly destroys his self-confidence, So everyone has almost unlimited affirmative needs. For those in power aloft, their hearts are even more fearful.Their hearts will constantly ask themselves: "Who are you? What are your abilities? What is the difference between you and ordinary people? Don't you also have to eat and sleep in the same way, and it hurts when you hit your head against the wall? Bleeding... But why do you actually control the fate of others?"

All of these problems will never surface on a conscious level, but our hearts can feel them.Therefore, those in power always need affirmation, need to hear others praise them, and need to hear others praise their wisdom and wisdom—it is precisely because they are wiser and wiser than others that they become the savior of the public .The hearts of those in power desperately crave this affirmation in order to maintain their crumbling egos. Personality is originally an illusory psychological existence, and once this affirmative stimulus is too strong, it will produce the crux of excessive arrogance.In the Yuan Dynasty, there was a man named Chang Shiwen. He was obsessed with cleanliness. He was worried that other people's hands would be dirty, so he cooked all the food he ate.When he drank water, he only drank the water in the front bucket brought by the porter, because he was worried that the porter would fart and pollute the water in the bucket behind.Once, when he was washing his feet, two friends suddenly came to visit, so Chang Shiwen happily invited his friends to sit down and eat peaches, but before the peaches were washed, Chang Shiwen picked up the peaches and washed them in his own footwashing water. After washing, he handed it to the guests - the reason why he did this was because he thought that the water for washing his feet was cleaner than others.

Chang Shiwen, an ordinary person, is so arrogant, especially a person who has power.Most of the emperors in history suffered from severe arrogance. For example, the famous tyrant Emperor Sui Yang was extremely cruel and arrogant to the point of insanity. He used force against Korea three times and was defeated three times. The general spoke cautiously, hoping that he could fight according to the laws of war, but as soon as he opened his mouth, Emperor Yang of Sui squinted at the generals and said, "You know something that even I can't settle." what?" Whether it is Emperor Sui Yang or Chang Shiwen, they all have a lighthouse-like way of thinking, self-centered, overlooking the whole world, thinking that they are superior: I am the wisest, the smartest...the most terrible thing is that the world People in the world, except for a very few intelligent scholars, almost all have this way of thinking. They all think that they are extremely intelligent, and those who have power will think that everything they have obtained is logical. , think that fate treats oneself unfairly.

Therefore, people in the officialdom, even if they are a little careless in a sentence, they will offend the psychological taboo of the other party, and they will offend others without even knowing it. The most interesting example that reveals this rule is an interesting incident that happened in the county government office of Nanshan County in the Ming Dynasty. The wife of the magistrate of Nanshan County is surnamed Wu, the wife of the county magistrate is surnamed Lu, and the wife of the chief bookkeeper is surnamed Qi.One day, the county magistrate's wife met with the family members of the yamen's subordinates in order to get in touch with each other.The county magistrate's wife first asked what the county magistrate's wife's surname was, and she replied that her surname was Lu.Then I asked what the surname of the master's wife was, and the answer was Qi.The county magistrate's wife immediately became angry, lost her temper, and retreated into the inner room.All the family members didn't know what happened, they were so frightened that they didn't dare to breathe, and waited outside the door.The county magistrate also felt strange, so he went in and asked his wife.

The wife replied: "Those women outside are teasing me. Look at my surname Wu. The wife of the county magistrate will say her surname is Liu, and the wife of the chief bookkeeper will say her surname is Seven. I can't ask others anymore. If you continue to ask , must be the surnames eight and nine and ten..." The county magistrate laughed out loud and explained carefully before calming down his wife. This interesting thing is what we often say: the speaker has no intention, but the listener has intention.Everyone just said their surnames, and the county magistrate's wife thought it was mocking her.Just because the matter was opened up and the misunderstanding was resolved, it was recorded in history and should be treated as a joke to make us laugh.But in the officialdom, most of the conflicts and injuries that you will never know the truth are just because the parties involved did not tell them, so they are lost in the smoke and dust of history.

In the officialdom, the successful ones may be able to tell the reasons for their success, while the losers are mostly trapped in ignorance. In fact, when it comes to speculation, it is often not some earth-shattering event that leads to a person's failure in life, but some Minutiae that have long been forgotten by the person concerned.Although these details are small, the turmoil caused in the other party's heart is great, and the consequences are beyond our imagination.