Chapter 3 Chapter 3 What is "thick"

Liu Bang and Cao Cao can be called thick-skinned people.However, Meng Xizi in the Spring and Autumn Period and Wang Lang in the Three Kingdoms Period were typically thin-skinned.Thin-skinned, that's the difference. The thick-skinned one can ascend the throne and proclaim himself emperor, and the south is king, while the thin-skinned one will be pissed off because of a little thing.People are so angry that there is no way to talk about the success of their career. However, why are Liu Bang and Cao Cao so thick-skinned, while Meng Xizi and Wang Lang are so thin-skinned?In other words, the question is: Why are some people so thick-skinned that they cannot be cut through by a knife or pierced by an awl?And some people are so thin-skinned that they can't even stand a little stimulation?

This problem can be explained in this way: the stronger the inner strength and the more confident the person, the less the need for external affirmation, and the weaker the inner strength and lack of self-confidence, they inevitably eagerly desire the affirmation of the outside world.And this need for affirmation from the outside world determines a person's thick skin. Thin-skinned people, that's because they pay special attention to the evaluation of the outside world. If the evaluation is positive, they will be elated and call them a confidant.If the evaluation is negative, it will further strengthen their inner self-confidence and bring them extreme psychological panic.Therefore, when a thin-skinned person fails to do something or encounters negative evaluation, if he either avoids it, or reacts extremely violently against it.

And thick-skinned people, whether they fail in doing things or encounter negative evaluations from the outside world, their reactions are very indifferent.This kind of negative influence is far less powerful than their inner strength, so they will be calm. Wang Lang would be scolded to death by Zhuge Liang because he lacked confidence in himself and hoped to get affirmation from Zhuge Liang, but what he got was a complete denial of him: a man with a handsome head, an old thief with a gray beard... This kind of insult is tantamount to Completely erase Wang Lang's life.But Wang Lang also agreed with this point, but he couldn't face himself, so he was so angry that he was scolded to death.

Meng Xizi died of embarrassment because he held a high position. Although he was arrogant, he knew better than anyone in his heart that he was an incompetent idiot and was not worthy of this position.So he needs the flattery of his subordinates all the time to make up for his overly strong lack of self-confidence.However, accompanying the monarch on a mission to Chu State, he didn't even know the minimum diplomatic etiquette. In Chibi, Cao Cao was surrounded by the coalition forces of the Sun and Liu families, burned the huge boat, and suffered a crushing defeat, but he was still able to laugh, and he laughed again and again, because he was not only an excellent politician, He is also an excellent military strategist.He knew that victory or defeat is a common matter for military strategists. Although Chibi was defeated, it did not change the political structure of the Three Kingdoms.Although the war was defeated, it didn't matter to him. At most, it was Liu Bei and Sun Quan who were in peace, so he just smiled and laughed again and again.In fact, Cao Cao did not laugh wrong. Whether it is Liu Bei or Sun Quan, at most he dared to defeat Cao Cao, but he did not dare to kill him. And Sun Quan's forces constitute a more powerful threat.So for Cao Cao, this war was just a game that had nothing to do with life. Of course he had reason to laugh out loud.

As early as when Liu Bang was determined to seize the world and ascended the throne as emperor, he no longer cared about the life and death of his father, wife and children.Compared with the scorching power of the emperor, compared with the absolute power of life and death, what is the life of a father, wife and children?Don't say that Liu Bang knew Xiang Yu's details and knew that Xiang Yu was just threatening. Even if Xiang Yu really killed his father in front of him, Liu Bang would not blink his eyes. From this we find that the four people mentioned here are exactly at the two extremes.Wang Lang and Meng Xizi are extremely lacking in self-confidence, so the negative signals from the outside world are tantamount to disaster for them. Even if they were not scolded to death at the time and survived, they were just unconscious walking dead .

However, Liu Bang and Cao Cao are extremely confident and have very clear goals.It is this extreme self-confidence that endows them with extreme spiritual power, enabling them to act as usual and remain motionless when faced with difficulties that ordinary people cannot face. From this we can draw the conclusion that the thin skin of a person stems from the strength of his inner strength and the strength of his self-confidence.A person with strong inner strength will never feel ashamed or embarrassed when facing failure, setbacks, ridicule and ridicule.On the contrary, a person who lacks sufficient spiritual strength will inevitably feel extreme shame and despair when he suffers setbacks.

Therefore, life needs a thick skin, and only a thick enough skin will be helpful to our success in life.