Chapter 50 The Knowledge Composition of a "Keyboard Man"

On the Chinese Internet, where old martial arts literature is in decline, a unique genre of knight-errants is thriving.They are called KBman, which means "Keyboard Man". Netizens praised them so much—the world's martial arts, only the keyboard can't be broken. "Keyboard Warriors" use the keyboard as their main fighting weapon, and are proficient in foreign martial arts such as QQ Pinyin input method and Baidu Pinyin input method.The older generation of "keyboard warriors" is also good at the long-lost Wubi font.When you encounter a "keyboard man" who uses this kind of kung fu, you'd better avoid it first.

To form combat effectiveness, "Keyboard Man" must also rely on a profound internal skill, called the magic skill of anger.It must be inspired by some hot events on the Internet, so that the "Keyboard Man" continuously launches several terrible weapons: forcing people to express their opinions, violently swearing, digging deep into conspiracy, far-fetched and so on.The main demands are generally "Ling Chi these bad guys, show them in the street", "Rape the whole family of the scumbags, see if they are afraid" and so on. Similar to the upgrade situation of the Saiyans, the "Keyboard Man" will evolve into a "Patriotic Keyboard Man" when his martial arts reaches a certain level, which is equivalent to a Super Saiyan. The "Patriotic Keyboard Man"'s nirvana is "Raging to the Sky". When performing the kung fu, they often have to recite a mysterious mantra: "If you are Chinese, turn it up... If you are Chinese, turn it up... "

Their main sources of knowledge are three parts: middle school textbooks from 20 or 30 years ago, TV news from 10 or 20 years ago, and some Internet posts in recent years. In the following, I will explain in detail the knowledge composition of a standard "keyboard man". First of all, all their historical knowledge is about two words "five thousand years of glory" and "one hundred years of shame". Let's talk about "five thousand years of glory".All they can know is: "We are one of the four most powerful ancient civilizations!" However, it is best to avoid asking which "four ancient countries" they are, otherwise the probability of you getting answers such as ancient Greece and ancient Rome is very high.

They will say: "Many of our awesome inventions are hundreds or thousands of years ahead of the West!" But if asked about the specific "inventions", the "keyboard warriors" will answer first: pi!Then he showed difficulty and tried to list all kinds of things such as Zhaozhou stone bridge, kites, ironware, ceramics, Taijiquan and so on. They will tell you: "We have very good arithmetic books!" But it is difficult to name the specific titles, and they may even answer Sun Simiao's "Zhou Bi Suan Jing", Zu Chongzhi's "Nine Yin Manual", etc. And tell you "Oh, what do you do so carefully, in short, these are some great inventions..."

"That's right, that's right, we have the four great inventions!" They will say excitedly: Without the four great inventions, the whole of Europe would be in a dark and miserable situation. Without the compass, there would be no great navigation, and without the gunpowder, there would be no guns. Cannon, without papermaking and printing technology... um, can't print nautical maps? Then came "A Hundred Years of Disgrace."Their knowledge in this area includes: "The Opium War! The Eight-Power Allied Forces! Burning, killing, looting! Many foreigners came to bully us!"

But let's ask a little more carefully: which eight countries are the Eight-Nation Allied Forces?Is there Spanish Portugal?Is there an Italian Dutch?Is there Austria-Hungary? "Keyboard Man" will falter, stare at you, and ask angrily: Is this important? What they mean is that it doesn't matter if you don't remember the aggressor.But sometimes they like to put another completely contradictory sentence on their lips: forgetting the national humiliation is a traitor! Look at the cultural sector. The knowledge of "Keyboard Man" is almost only one sentence: Chinese culture is extensive and profound.If you dare to disrespect this sentence, they will be very angry.

But you must never ask them how rich, how big, how fine, and how deep they are, that will seriously damage their brain health. Has Li Bai ever written lyrics?and which one is in front?What is the relationship between Hu Shi and Hu Shizhi? Are Zhou Shuren and Zhou Zuoren two brothers?God, don't torture them with these inhumane questions.Don't even ask them whether people in the Tang Dynasty wore Tang suits, and whether mandarin jackets were Hanfu. I believe that not only did they not understand the difference between the "Rebellion of the Eight Kings" and the "Rebellion of the Seven Kingdoms", they were not even sure which of the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms or the Southern and Northern Dynasties came first.They insisted: "Our glorious history must never be denied!"

They don't know the dynasties of Sun Simiao and Zhang Zhongjing, and they don't know the relationship between "Synopsis of the Golden Chamber" and "Treatise on Febrile and Miscellaneous Diseases", but you can rest assured that this will not affect their swearing to defend traditional medicine. Similarly, if you ask them whether "Hanshu" or "Historical Records" came first, or whether there are "Old Tang Book" and "Twenty-Four Histories", they will be confused and mad.But this does not affect them expressing their deep patriotism and traditional culture.

Then there is military knowledge.Most "keyboard warriors" probably only know one sentence: Chairman Mao is really like a god in using soldiers. You might as well do an experiment, you can ask them, why are they "true like a god"?From what things can you tell that you are "truly like a god"?I think 70% of them will answer: "Crossing Chishui four times!" Do not ask them about the background, reasons, situation between the enemy and us, tactical deployment, etc. when crossing Chishui four times. It is too harsh and high-end for them.You can't even ask them which province the "Sidu Chishui" is in, Sichuan, Guizhou or Guangxi, and it will also make them messy.

Another two adults will answer: The Red Army is fighting against encirclement and suppression! But if you ask one more question: The Fourth Front Army of the Red Army did not fight against the encirclement and suppression campaign, and they fought against the encirclement and suppression campaign several times. Who commanded it, I guarantee you will hear the sound of their brains shattering. Another adult will answer: Northeast China closes its doors and beats dogs! Please pay tribute to this part of the "Keyboard Man" - if you can answer this, you can already be regarded as a high-level intellectual in the "Keyboard Man".

But it's still hard to stop the trend of their brains shattering.You just need to ask one more question: Which "dog" is the one who closed the door and beat it?Is it Wei Lihuang, Chen Cheng or Du Yuming?Make sure you can call an ambulance for them before you ask questions. Liushen Leilei would like to kindly remind you that you must avoid discussing issues with "Keyboard Man". They were familiar with academic works such as "High School History" and "Ideology and Politics" by the People's Education Society. Although they were busy making a living after entering the society, they forgot a lot, but the foundation of their knowledge is still there, at least they have memorized the "economic foundation" firmly. "Capitalism", "feudal society" and a bunch of rational terms. They are getting older, but they hardly read other books seriously, in order to keep their cognitive ability accurately in that era, and avoid too much knowledge from messing up the brain cells. Of course, they have been fully tempered in the academic discussions in various forums and are very good at fighting.Start a discussion with them, and you will be dealt a fatal blow. If you talk to them about events, they will talk about your position; if you talk to them about your position, they will talk to you about conspiracy; if you talk about conspiracy with them, they will talk about your motive; fuck. What's even more frightening is that they are full of justice.What?Do you understand the truth?Did you know that a man with justice is invincible? You are wrong. The famous column "Liu Shen Lei Lei Reading Jin Yong" said that people who possess justice often fail, and those who possess justice are invincible.