Chapter 27 23 Pancakes

Matters under the ground start from the sky, and you must have a good heart before you think about it. ——Goethe "Fautus" I evacuated from Cyprus to Cairo on my own initiative, and returned to Iraq via Jordan with only one purpose, which was to wash off the Jewish smell from head to toe.I have always suspected that the director of the Middle East bureau that I contradicted wanted to hand me over to the Iraqis to kill me.In fact, I treat the belly of adults with the heart of a villain.My boss had no idea that Israel and Iraq had feuded during the Code of Hammurabi and the Babylonian Captivity, and that Iraq regarded all those who had relations with Israel as spies. There is the meaning of meeting the god of death.My Israeli friends were horrified when they heard that I was going back to Baghdad where the "Scud" was released. The little girl Olite tearfully gave me a big T-shirt with the letter "I am a survivor of the Gulf War" (paraphrased), la Hold my hand and beg me to think twice, "Don't listen to the bastard in the office".My second uncle, who has been a Yankee for 40 years, called the Jordan branch of Xinhua News Agency from California and asked the chief reporter, Lao Fu, to tell me: "Study the feasibility of this task." But I have been educated for many years and said that only the boss Far-sighted and divinely irresistible to issue orders that sound right.

In Cairo, I gave Olite a big T-shirt and a copper helmet. The mask was kept in the English editor Zhang Haiyan.Shui Junyi, an English editor who graduated from Lanzhou University with her, is an alcoholic like me.Almost all of my two nights of stagnation in Cairo were spent drinking with these two immortals.These two Sanxians were not happy at the time, and they complained all day long about being sent to the front line, and the swearing and swearing after drinking was by no means inferior to me.Later, one of Fengqi Wutong married to Canada, and the other went to CCTV.I guess their sitting in front of their computers throughout the Gulf War was the biggest cause of their discontent.After the war, Zhang Haiyan, who put out the fire in the oil field, went back to Kuwait anyway, better luck than Shui Junyi.Compared with the two of you, I really shouldn't complain anymore.

On March 3, I flew from Cairo to Amman full of grievances.I was on the same plane with Kyodo News photojournalist Yoichiro Ohara, and the famous Japanese journalist Hisashi Asai mentioned earlier was his "Nakato" (witness).When I presented my business card, he actually suspected that I was a counterfeit. The reason was that Donald Duck was so smart and brave, and he could only be in Kuwait now, and it was impossible to fly back to Iraq.Because of my bad mood, I kept silent all the way.Let the two people who claim to be Pakistan Jie talk all the way, "One Saddam will fall, and tens of thousands of Saddams will stand up."In the end, a Ba Jie stabbed me awake from my sleep, and asked me if my wife had been kidnapped.I saw that he was talking endlessly, so I said, "I want to go to Saudi Arabia and Kuwait, where there were wars, but my boss told me to go back to Baghdad." The Pakistani Jie laughed when he heard this: "Don't be sad, brother, you can use it." There is no need to go to Saudi Arabia or Kuwait. They are already the fifty-first and fifty-second states of the United States."

When I returned to Amman, the Chinese ambassador to Jordan called out when he saw me, "The storyteller Tang Duck is back." We huddled together in his hut and chatted all night.The ambassador said that he would listen to everything I said, but don't let the Jordanians know that I have been to Israel, or I will lose my life.The ambassador agreed to speak every night in the future.I only had one request at the time, to ask the ambassador to arrange my return to Baghdad as soon as possible.The ambassador asked me to tell more stories and perform well, and used Goethe's "Faust" in "Underground things start from heaven, and a good heart must be done beforehand".It means that if you want to be Buddhas, dragons and elephants, you must first be cattle and horses for all living beings.In fact, cows and horses just tell more stories.

Due to the evacuation of the Jordanian embassy during the war, only six people including the ambassador stayed behind. In addition to three reporters from Xinhua News Agency and me, ten people took turns cooking.Since I had nothing to do, I simply mixed in the whole meal.I was originally a big lazy egg, but I was willing to put away my things when cooking, and everyone was quite satisfied with the so-so.The embassy’s big wolf dog, Hei Bei, and his son were very close to me, because I always secretly gave them large pieces of meat, and the mother and son jumped on me when they saw me. On March 5, Ambassador Zheng from Baghdad flew from Cairo to Amman, and put his arms around me several times.Ambassador Zheng not only brought me 10,000 U.S. dollars when I was out of ammunition and food, but also promised to take me into Baghdad.

The next day, Ambassador Zheng led us "six Baghdad men" to the Amman Quarantine Station and was injected with typhoid and plague vaccines. The left arm was typhoid and the right arm was plague. The pain made me see stars in my eyes.When I returned to the embassy, ​​I developed a low-grade fever, which rose to 38.2°C after a while due to the simultaneous effect of the two vaccines.I didn't even eat lunch, and fell asleep with my head covered when I got back to the branch office. In the evening, Lao Yang, an Arwen reporter who was cooking on shift, lay next to my ear and called softly, "Old Duck." I sat up in a daze, and asked him if he had come to "Scud" again.Lao Yang said that Ambassador Zhang of Jordan praised the cakes I baked to Ambassador Zheng of Iraq, but the cakes I made yesterday were not much left, so I had to ask for a ride.

I sat up on the bed with both hands, my arms were so sore that I couldn't put on my clothes, but my mind was as clear as a piece of newly wiped glass.Lao Yang stretched out my sleeves in a flustered way. I didn't know whether it was the cold or the pain. It made me cry, and I missed my mother.Seeing that I couldn't stand it, Lao Yang had no choice but to leave alone.I tried to put on a Saddam's military uniform, and the desk in front of me seemed to spin and hit me. I took out the car keys, and went to the garage by myself. I started the white Mercedes and staggered towards the embassy.But my eyes were dark and my hands were soft, and I almost bumped into other people's buttocks a few times. I had no choice but to move forward in first gear, and was so angry that the car behind me kept honking its horn.

Heibei and its son were already waiting for me at the gate of the embassy, ​​and the two big things that stood almost as tall as a person rushed towards me to show respect. I got into the kitchen to knead the dough, my limbs were weak, as if I had died and been reborn.With eyes closed, the pancakes were raised and lowered, and the arms seemed to belong to someone else.Pain it on purpose, and there is an indescribable pleasure: like drunkenness, like a plane landing, like a car crash, like kissing a girl, the pain is numb, sensational, and unconscious. On the seventh day, Ambassador Zheng's driver, Mr. Wang, came in. I was hoping for a savior.I said, "Master Wang, take your time." I drove a white Mercedes back to the branch and went to sleep.Knowing that I like green vegetables, the embassy sent me cucumbers and tomatoes in the middle of the night.I said excuse me, turned around and went back to sleep.Had strange dreams all night.The flagpole in front of me kept spinning and smashed towards me, but I was tied up and had no way to escape.

At noon the next day, I woke up and got up to eat.In the evening, I went to Amman Airport with Lao Chen and waited for the visit of the three foreign ministers of the European Community, but there was no one until 10:30 in the evening.Old Chen said, "Let's go back."As he spoke, he patted my shoulder that had received the injection. The pain made me tremble, and I couldn't speak clearly.I said, the stars are shining tonight, indeed the golden light is shining.until now.I have never seen so many gold stars again. After half a month, my cooking skills have greatly improved, and Heibei and his son have gained a lot of weight.I've gained five kilograms myself, and both ambassadors say I'm stronger than when I first came from Cairo.I say it's all fat cooks, but I'm actually feeling more and more like a double-jawed Roman emperor myself.

On March 14, the eve of our return to Baghdad, Baghdad Ambassador Zheng grabbed my camera vest: "Duck, I will take you back to Baghdad tomorrow. But you don't look like a diplomat anywhere, but like a circus "I stopped Ambassador Zhang from Jordan, "Ambassador Zhang, give me your foreign clothes, and I would like to give you a belt of the Republican Guard." Ambassador Zhang is a very strict old man, and everyone in the embassy is afraid of him.But he just loves to listen to my stories, and he always jokes with me: "Don't dare to eat fish for fear of being pricked, he will not grow up, and his breasts are still wet!" I questioned: "Then you still love to listen to my stories." He said: "I like you kid."