Chapter 8 beautiful life

The peaceful and ordinary life often makes Yu Shouye feel unreal.He often fell into memories, recalling the young dream of the secret service department, and sometimes thinking of Yixiang Pavilion.All of this was like a dream, slipping away before his eyes, in a trance, feeling so unreal. He was standing under the tree in the yard, under which was buried the letter of appointment, and the letter of appointment often made him feel inexplicably false.He sometimes asked himself, is there really such a commission? Baiyuncanggou.My son has gone to middle school in Dingshan, and a layer of down has grown on his lips. In a few years, he will be a handsome man.During the days when he was a spy, everything was in turmoil. No one contacted him, and he couldn't contact others, so he could only wait anxiously.For a while, he was afraid that someone would contact him, and then he would think of Principal Liu Xiwen, and he didn't want to end up like that.At first, he was still dreaming about the commissioner of the major general.As time goes by, none of this exists, and all dreams are just a dream.Occasionally, taking the opportunity of watering the tree, he secretly took out the commission, glanced at it hastily, and buried it again.So many years have passed, and the letter of appointment is still there, but his state of mind is different.Thirty years in Hedong, thirty years in Hexi, Yu Shouye is just Yu Shouye today.His current identity is a senior teacher at Lucheng Central School.

If 1966 hadn't come, the life of Yu Shouye's family would have been different, but with the coming of 1966, Yu Shouye had a new story. That year, Yu Dingshan graduated from junior high school and entered high school with a boyish dream.The famous 1966 came with solid steps.So, everything was in chaos. First, red flags and slogans filled the streets and alleys, and the slogans were repeated one after another. People's faces were full of complexions like early spring and February. The school was closed, and the armbands of the Red Guards were worn on the arms of the children of Yu Dingshan. After the suspension, the children had nothing to do, so they posted big-character posters for the teachers, and even shaved the head of the old headmaster and pushed them into the street. fight.Among these radical students was Yu Dingshan.

Yu Shouye, who has been living a low-key life, has a premonition that the world is about to change.He trembled and felt cold.He didn't understand what everything in front of him meant to him, so he could only watch with a cold eye. He saw that the old principal was kicked on the butt by his son Yu Dingshan's leg sticking out from the crowd. The old principal with his hands folded upside down fell to the ground, his glasses fell off, and blood flowed from his nose.Yu Shouye couldn't stand it anymore, he closed his eyes. The old principal came to the school after Liu Xiwen was arrested. He was sent by the new government. In Yu Shouye's impression, the old principal was a good person and he should retire in a year.When he first came to school, he had black hair, spoke confidently, and was very kind to people. He shook hands when they met. His hands were big and warm.The principal is very concerned about the lives of the teachers. He would find someone to chat with when he had nothing to do. He moved a chair to sit in front of the teacher, chatted about household chores, and gossiped, looking very amiable.The principal also talked to Yu Shouye, asked about life, and asked about his body. Every time he patted him on the shoulder and said, "Younger, just bring up any difficulties. We are organized and will definitely help solve them."

Every time, Yu Shouye shook his head, smiled, felt very comfortable, and thought: The principal is a good person. Seeing the old headmaster being kicked down by his son, he trembled all over and gritted his teeth. When he got home at night, he saw Yu Dingshan, who was in high spirits, also came back from the outside.He stared at his son, gritted his teeth again and said: You shouldn't treat the old principal like that. The son stuck his neck and said: He is a Feng Zixiu, we are going to smash him to pieces. His son choked on his words for a long time, and he didn't catch his breath. He shivered, pointed at his son and said: You, what you do is outrageous.

The son waved his hand and said dismissively: Don't worry about it, I want revolution. He was so angry that he waved his hand and slapped his son across the face.When the hand fell from his son's face, he felt his five fingers burning, and half of his arm was numb.His son has never given him much trouble since he was a child, and he has always been very well-behaved.This slap startled Xiao Lian who was cooking in the kitchen, she ran out shaking her hands, and saw her son covering half of his face, staring at Yu Shouye as if he didn't know him.After all, Xiao Lian is a woman, seeing the appearance of the two men, she panicked: How do you beat the child?

After beating Yu Dingshan, Yu Shouye regretted it.He knelt down, hugged his head, and saw the tree in the courtyard as soon as he raised his eyes. He thought over and over in his heart: I am a spy, I am a spy, why did I hit someone? With that slap, his son Yu Dingshan no longer spoke to him, and walked in and out of the courtyard every day with his neck stuck, the armband on his arm still dazzling.That is to say, since then, Yu Shouye seldom went to school. Anyway, the school was closed, so it didn't matter whether he went or not.He often squats in the yard to bask in the sun, and then squints to look at the tree in the yard.

He never dreamed that bad luck would happen to Xiao Lian. One evening, Xiao Lian came back from outside with disheveled hair and a low expression.After returning, Xiao Lian ran to the bedroom and cried loudly on the bed.He didn't know what happened, he stood by at a loss and asked: What's wrong? While crying, Xiao Lian said: They said that I had done dirty work in the old society. After speaking, he cried again.He didn't know what to do for a while, rubbed his hands and stood aside, thinking to himself: How could this be the case. Xiao Lian suddenly stopped crying, sat up, and looked at him with a tearful face: You know whether I am clean or not, you can prove it for me and tell them I am clean.

He stood there in a daze, thinking what could he prove for her? It is a fact that Xiaolian was once a girl of Yixiang Pavilion.They were talking about Xiaolian because they were talking about Yixiang Pavilion, and it didn't matter if they didn't clean up or not.What he didn't understand was that after so many years, some people still remembered Yixiang Pavilion, but he almost forgot about it. From then on, Xiao Lian became a target, and was soon shaved, with a standard yin and yang hair, and a string of old shoes that I don't know where she got hung around her neck.The rebels from the knitting factory and a group of Red Guards raised their fists and chanted slogans as they followed Xiao Lian through the streets.They also made Xiaolian repeat over and over again: I am a prostitute from Yixiang Pavilion, I am not clean------

While crying, Xiao Lian said that she was a prostitute. The word "prostitute" was so fresh and exciting in that era, and it soon attracted the crowd to watch, pointing and discussing excitedly. Yu Dingshan, who had a stiff neck, suddenly withered. He had been expelled from the school's Red Guard organization and lost his revolutionary power.A few days ago, he even kicked the revolution, but unexpectedly, he was revolutionized in a blink of an eye. That autumn, Yu Dingshan signed up to go to the countryside.In fact, if he doesn't sign up, it will be his turn to go to the countryside.On the day before he left, he didn't say a word, but looked at his mother and then at his father fiercely.Xiao Lian got up from the bed, tugged at the corner of her son's clothes and said, "Son, send a letter to your parents when you arrive in the countryside."

Yu Dingshan slammed his mother's hand aside, and said: I will never come back to this stinky family.After finishing speaking, he picked up his backpack, slammed the door heavily, and left without looking back. Xiao Lian lay on the bed, covered her mouth, and suppressed howling.He stood by the bed, looked at Xiaolian, and didn't know how to comfort her. If things stop here, the days will be the days.An unexpected thing happened. People from the workers' propaganda team of the textile factory came to trouble him.They took him to the workers' propaganda team and asked him to explain how he hooked up with the prostitute Xiaolian.As soon as this question was raised, his whole body collapsed, and he didn't know how to resist it.If he starts from the beginning, he has to start from the secret service department. In that case, can he still survive?

In those days, the word "secret agent" was all over the street, and many "secret agents" were tied up in a bundle, with a sign on their chest with the name of the agent written on it, and they walked around the streets to show off to everyone.There are many "secret agents" who have been designated for only one reason, that is, to eavesdrop on enemy radio broadcasts, or find some old things at home. These old things are inextricably linked to the enemy. Such people are not spies, who are spies? ? ! Yu Shouye was surprised, why so many of the same kind appeared in ambush in every corner overnight.He looked at the so-called "secret agents", but found that he didn't know any of them.Whether it is true or false, fish and dragons are mixed, only God knows. The fate of the "secret agents" was miserable. The revolutionaries and the spies were at odds with each other, so they were extremely ruthless.A bruised nose and a swollen face are considered minor. Those who are more severe are beaten to the point of broken bones in the street, and then handed over to the people's government for sentencing. Yu Shouye had already felt the thrill of killing the chicken for the monkey to watch.After returning from the workers' propaganda team, in the middle of the night, he went under the tree and dug out the letter of appointment.He kept the letter of appointment very well. It was first wrapped in plastic sheeting on the outside and several layers of kraft paper on the inside. Although it had been buried deep underground for many years, it was still intact. He tore up the letter of appointment several times, and the sound of paper tearing sounded thrilling in the dark night.His hands were trembling, and he was sweating profusely, and then he swallowed the torn letter of commission in one gulp.The smell of old paper and ink made his snot and tears flow down his face.The commissioner of the major general was eaten by him, and the moment the shredded paper slipped into the esophagus and entered the stomach, a fantasy was shattered, and the desire to live occupied his whole body and mind. Every day, Xiao Lian was dragged out to parade in the street, and he reflected in front of the workers' propaganda team.He stood on the side with low eyebrows and was silent, and he could only be silent at this time.He couldn't face the past, as long as he opened his mouth and revealed his identity, he would die without a place to bury him.At this time, he thought of the old saying that it is better to live than to die.There is a limit to the patience of the work propaganda team members. They asked him to explain how he got to know Xiao Lian, but if he didn't tell, it was a confrontation, and the consequence of the confrontation was physical pain.After just a few simple rounds, he was knocked down, his nose was bruised and his face was swollen, and his whole body hurt everywhere. He was released again, and he will report to the workers' propaganda team tomorrow to fully explain his problems. Walking out of the gate of the workers' propaganda team, he was stopped by a man.The man shouted: Old Yu. Since he joined the Workers Propaganda Team, no one has called him so politely.He followed the voice and saw a familiar face. He was stunned for a moment, and he recognized it. The person standing in front of him was a student he had taught many years ago.In his memory, this student's surname may be Zhao or Li. The student said: Old Yu, don't carry it, it's useless!They will torture you to death. He looked at the former student blankly and helplessly, moved his mouth, but said nothing. The student also said: Divorce your wife, as long as you get divorced and draw a clear line with her, you will be fine. After the student finished speaking, he looked left and right, walked forward in a hurry, turned back after taking two steps, and said: Lao Yu, believe me, I know you are a good person. The last sentence the student said brought tears to his eyes.At this time, some people still said that he was a good person. At that moment, the feeling in his heart was really indescribable. He returned home dizzy with one foot high and one foot low, and fell headfirst on the bed.He pulled off the quilt, covered his head, and sobbed bitterly, feeling terrified, sad, and wronged in his heart.All this, he could only vent his complicated emotions by crying bitterly. After an unknown amount of time, he calmed down and threw off the quilt.At this time, he saw a face, it was Xiao Lian's face, there was no expression on it, it was numb.Her head was shaved like a dog chewing on her, and she looked neither human nor ghostly.Seeing Xiaolian looking at him like this, he couldn't help screaming.The quiet and beautiful face before was gone, replaced by such a miserable face. Xiao Lian spoke, and she said, "Old Yu, I got you into trouble." When she said this, he noticed that there were tears in the corners of her eyes. She covered her face with her hands, choked up and said: I am not good enough for you, I am not good enough for you from the beginning, I am a bitch. He listened to the crying of the woman next to his ear, he didn't know what to do, he just sat there dumbfounded. While crying, she said: I have not only implicated you, but also implicated our children, I am not human, I deserve to die. After finishing speaking, she smacked her face with her hands like crazy, the sound of skin and flesh beating was thrilling.He woke up with a start and went to persuade Xiao Lian. Xiao Lian threw herself into his arms and cried out heartbreakingly: "Old Yu, I'm sorry for you—" After crying, everything calmed down.She was still in his arms.The two hugged each other quietly, neither of them spoke. It was getting dark slowly, and they were motionless, looking very old.There was a layer of warmth in his heart, and he thought of the past, they once loved each other sincerely, and came together by accident.After so many years, he has never regretted it.Although she is a girl from Yixiang Pavilion, she is clean in his heart, and only he knows that she is as pure and flawless as jade.But he was not good enough for her. In the past, he was worried that Xiaolian and the child would be implicated if his identity was exposed, so he lived cautiously, for fear that he would slip up and arouse others' suspicion.Over the years, he came here in fear. He didn't expect that something happened to him, but it happened to Xiao Lian. Suddenly she struggled out of his arms, wiped away the tears on her face, and said: Are you hungry, I'll cook for you right now. She even smiled at him when she got up.He watched her walk into the kitchen. At this moment, he felt that he was very close to Xiaolian. No matter what, he couldn't leave her.She was his companion, his support.The child ran away from home and went to the countryside. He wanted to stay with her through thick and thin, even if it meant death.After thinking about it this way, he was actually a little moved by his determination. The dinner that day was very sumptuous, and Xiao Lian had been busy in the kitchen for a long time.When Xiaolian appeared in front of him, he was surprised to see that Xiaolian covered her messy hair with a blue and white scarf, and changed into a cheongsam, which was her favorite dress in Yixiang Pavilion A cheongsam.After so many years, her figure still hasn't changed much, and the cheongsam still fits well on her body.He stared at her blankly, not understanding what was happening in front of him. She even smiled at him and jokingly said: What, stupid? There were tears in his eyes again.Xiaolian also opened a bottle of wine and poured it into two glasses.He remembered that she never drank alcohol, even when she was a girl, she only drank tea. She raised her glass to him and said to him: Come on, let's be happy. After taking a few sips of wine, his body was a little floating and his head was a little dizzy, but he felt very relaxed from the inside out, never relaxed.So, he grabbed the cup and said actively: Come on, Xiaolian, let's toast. Afterwards, everything became unreal.She stood up gracefully, went back to the room, and took out the pipa: "Let me play a piece for you, it's been a long time since I played it." A soft playing played slowly, and he looked at her drunkenly.All of a sudden, it was as if he had returned to Yixiang Pavilion—Xiao Lian bowed his head and played the piano, and he leaned there and closed his eyes to listen, every movement and stillness, like a dream.In an instant, he forgot the reality, and his soul suddenly drifted away. After a long time, and another long time, he murmured: Xiao Lian, you are so kind.He wanted to reach out to pull Xiaolian, but he collapsed on the bed.Next, he seemed to see Xiaolian's tearful face, and leaned towards him little by little, and then whispered in his ear: "Old Yu, I will still be a woman for you in the next life."Xiao Lian also said: "Old Yu, you are not a businessman, nor a teacher---he was startled, and wanted to cover Xiao Lian's mouth, but before he stretched out his hand, his mind sank, and he passed out drunk." . The next day, when he opened his eyes, he felt something strange, hurriedly got up, and called out: Xiaolian. no respond. He pushed open the kitchen door and saw Xiao Lian sitting there, holding a piece of exposed wire in her hand.Then, he yelled: Xiaolian.People fainted. Many years have passed, but he still remembers what Xiaolian said to him last: Lao Yu, you are neither a businessman nor a teacher.Every time he thinks of Xiaolian's last words, his heart trembles.It seems that Xiao Lian knew his identity from the very beginning, but she has been keeping this secret for so many years, and she only expressed the doubt in her heart before leaving. Xiaolian premeditated her own death. From the day he met Xiaolian until Xiaolian left, she was always beautiful in his heart.