Chapter 89 Section Fourteen

Sunlight came in through the curtains, Zhang Lei opened his eyes slightly, and smelled a fresh fragrance.He woke up suddenly, and found that he was covered with a pink quilt, and his brain suddenly became bigger.Sitting up hastily, he realized that he was completely naked, and seeing that he was in Fang Zijun's room, he immediately realized what had happened.There was no one in the room, and his military uniform and underwear were neatly folded next to the pillow. He put on his clothes immediately, and just as he put on the T-shirt with the words "Chinese Airborne Forces" printed on it, he found a letter on the table.

He hurried over to pick up the letter, which was unsealed, and it was written "Acknowledged by Zhang Lei". Opening the envelope, a carefully folded paper crane slipped silently into his hand. Zhang Lei's head was buzzing, and he opened the letter with trembling hands. It was written in Fang Zijun's beautiful handwriting. "Zhang Lei: I don't know how to face you, so I have to write to you. You are an excellent man, an excellent soldier, and a hot-blooded man worthy of the love of many good girls.I thought I could love you, I thought I could love you over a lot of obstacles that maybe shouldn't be between us, but... I was wrong.

You are right, it was me, Fang Zijun, who was wrong. I shouldn't try to love you because the barrier between us is really impossible to overcome. Because, I have no love. My love is given to a man named Zhang Yun, your brother. I am a revolutionary soldier, and I don't care about those feudal shackles, because that seems ridiculous to me. All my love is for him, for the eagle that won't come back.It is impossible for me to try to love another man, no matter how good he is, how outstanding he is, it is impossible to occupy my heart again.So it's not your fault, it's my fault.

My fault is that I didn't realize this.I agreed to be your girlfriend out of an impulse, or a natural dedication of women.When you are in danger, I am naturally weak and will agree to all your requests, reasonable or unreasonable.When I was on the front line, there were many such examples. Many of my sisters regarded their feelings as love and dedicated themselves to the soldiers who were about to go to the battlefield to fight with death. Yes, I don't deny that they are real warriors, but that's not love, it's just a kind of emotion. A woman's innate dedication, sacrifice.

A spirit of giving everything voluntarily because of being moved. So, I don't love you, I'm just touched by you. Moved by your struggle with death. There is another point that I have never dared to mention, that is, you are too much like your brother.To a certain extent, because thinking about him makes me transplant this feeling to you, so this kind of moving is mixed with complicated factors. However, you are you Zhang Lei, you are not anyone. You are a fine man and should not be a substitute. Go ahead and find your true love, the love that belongs to you.I don't belong to you, and I don't belong to the eagle, because I betrayed him.

Because of my weakness, I put myself on the altar of the soul.Maybe the rest of my life will be spent in a kind of confession, and I will die all my life. However, this is the punishment I deserve. We don't want to see each other again, meeting will just embarrass us and cause my soul to be whipped again. Because of my weakness, I lost the qualification to guard that flying eagle. I also lost the qualification to be your sister, Zhang Lei. Fang Zijun August 15, 1992" Zhang Lei put down the letter, unable to tell what expression he had on his face. Liu Xiaofei and He Xiaoyu stood at the entrance of the main building, and it was strange to see Zhang Lei coming out of the building wearing a military uniform and carrying his belongings with a gloomy expression on his face.

"Hey, where's Zijun?" Liu Xiaofei blurted out. When He Xiaoyu pulled him, Liu Xiaofei gave her a strange look. "Have you had a fight?" Liu Xiaofei asked with concern. Zhang Lei didn't say much, just a few words: "Let's go." Liu Xiaofei still wanted to ask, but He Xiaoyu became anxious: "I said, why do you have so many problems?! Why did you change your name to 100,000?!" Liu Xiaofei was choked and wanted to speak, but Zhang Lei spoke: "Don't argue, Zijun and I broke up." "Break up? Why?!" Liu Xiaofei was shocked.

Zhang Lei looked into his eyes for a long time, then lowered his head. He Xiaoyu grabbed Liu Xiaofei: "Let's go! Go back to your Luyuan! Are you really trained to be simple-minded and have developed limbs?!" Liu Xiaofei was most afraid of He Xiaoyu, so he dared not speak. The three walked out the door. Zhang Lei suddenly turned his head to look at the main building. He saw the curtains of that office drawn suddenly. His Adam's apple choked. "I'm not Zhang Yun, I'm Zhang Lei." He said word by word, his eyes became firm: "One day, you'll know!"