Chapter 14 Section 5

Shang Qiuyun couldn't understand why she fell into such a situation. She was trapped among a group of people every day, and she couldn't allow her to think about it, and couldn't allow her to be sad. Yes, she didn't even have the right to be sad. She was the first As a suspect, she must truthfully answer the questions of her own people. In fact, she was picked out from the "myself" from the day Lin Tiange was murdered.  She has to tell the truth about the problem.  The men she has known since she was a child, her first love, the men she has liked, the men who have pursued her, even those who have written courtship letters to her or sent her tender eyes, must not hide. 

"Before Lin Tiange was killed, which men did you date?" The question was cold.  She bit her lip and said nothing.  She knows that her soul has been stripped and exposed in front of the public. She knows that whether she confesses or not, she has no privacy at all. She finally understands why there are days and nights in the years and publicity in life. There is also a secret side, that privacy wraps a person's truth, makes a woman hold arrogance and self-esteem, that privacy contains human love and sex, which is an unspoken part of a woman's life, Now it's like suddenly falling into the night that is as bright as day, and she is not even allowed to pull a fig leaf to cover the privacy...

"Do you think the murderer must be among the men I know?" She used more indifferent language than them.  She thought that her biggest mistake that night was not rushing up. She thought that she would definitely die if she rushed up! She would be killed together with Lin Tiange. As a policeman, she should rush up, that was her duty.And she did not rush to get rid of cowardice and fear, as well as selfishness.People only reveal their true colors when facing life and death, and she had to admit that she fainted was another kind of "fleeing the battle".She clearly saw that person, but she just said that she didn't see it. Subconsciously, she didn't want to drag herself into it too deeply. She is also a policeman. She knows that her "fainting" is just her own inviolable physiological reaction. Law and morality do not recognize her, can she explain clearly? Can she explain clearly?

Now, she would rather die than live.  She had never seen her father since she was born.When she was young, when she saw someone else had a father, she came back and asked her mother why I didn't have a father.The mother first told her that her father had gone away.When she was a child, she sat at the door of her own house and looked at it with her little hand on her chin, hoping that her father, who had traveled far away, would suddenly return home one day.She envies that a child as old as her has father's caress...  It is said that the daughter looks like her father.She often secretly looks in the mirror alone and guesses what her father might look like. The face of her imaginary father always blurs and covers herself in the mirror...

When she was in elementary school, the first male gaze she noticed was from her head teacher.The head teacher paid more attention to the naturally melancholy girl, and she noticed his special attention to her.  At that time, some bad boys on the street always cut girls.One day, she was thrown into the mud and cried at the school gate. The head teacher took her to his dormitory to help her clean. She said, "Teacher, it would be great if you belonged to my father!" The teacher held her in his arms, and for the first time she was surrounded by a man's life.  When the teacher held him in his arms, he was bumped into by the new substitute teacher.  As a virgin, she is still ignorant of everything.She saw a treacherous smile on the substitute teacher's face, and then it disappeared. The class teacher stroked her head solemnly and said: 

"Teacher will send you home!"  The next day, several police officers investigated her teacher, and they asked her repeatedly: "How many times has he hugged you, what has he done to you?" She looked at them in horror, not knowing what they meant. The subconscious mind was like a flowing river. She swore in the turbulent water that when she grew up, she would never let others be wronged or wronged when she became a policeman... The head teacher quietly left on that rainy day after a Saturday.He was replaced by that substitute teacher with a treacherous smile on his face...

Somehow, that period of history that had been sealed for a long time emerged so clearly.She never saw the head teacher again, she didn't know where he went or how his life was...  "That head teacher who is like a father, he is a good man..." she murmured.  "I don't need to say more about this. We have checked and he committed suicide a few years ago!" She was awakened from her numbness by the words, why did he commit suicide? They told her this news, she didn't know it, they all knew it.They knew absolutely everything about her.They know even such a distant secret, what else do they not know.Now she didn't even have the energy to be angry. 

She smiled wryly and said, "Why wasn't I the one who committed suicide?" Her smile was frozen there, like a smile taken out of a refrigerator.She said: "Who else do you want to know?" "Talk about Chenghai!" Cheng Hai? She didn't know what she could tell them.He is the younger brother of her girlfriend Cheng Lan.  Cheng Hai is two years younger than Shang Qiuyun, and she and Cheng Lan often review their homework together before the college entrance examination.Cheng Lan's house is close to the school. Before the college entrance examination, she often lived in Cheng Lan's house.She also couldn't tell when Cheng Lan's younger brother fell in love with her. When she was admitted to the police academy and told Cheng Lan with a notice, the big boy who was a head taller than her told her that I would also tell you in the future. Go to a school.She said that would not work, you must go to college.She saw the strange light in his eyes when he was talking, and she suddenly recalled that there were many nights when he was reviewing homework, Cheng Hai would sit quietly beside her, staring at her silently when she was not paying attention, the cup When the water in the bottle runs out, he will add it in due course. She always said with emotion: "Cheng Lan, if only I had a good brother who is as considerate as Cheng Hai!" 

Cheng Lan always said happily: "If you want, I will give you my brother!" He said: "I am not your brother!"  Shang Qiuyun said: "Hey, am I not as good as your sister?" She suddenly remembered that Cheng Hai had never called her "Sister Qiuyun"! In the second year, when he was filling out his volunteers for the college entrance examination, Cheng Hai came to her specially to help him as a consultant.He said I'll fill in the police academy! She jumped up and shouted: "You have exceeded the college entrance examination mark so much, it's too bad to go to the police academy! At least you can go to the Public Security University."

"As long as I can be with you, I don't care what school I go to! Because, because... because I have always loved you!" She panicked all of a sudden, she said: "Cheng Hai, this is not allowed, how could it be like this! You are younger than me..." He said: "How can age be an obstacle to love!" She said: "But I have..."  He said: "I don't care who you are in love with now, as long as you are not married, I will not give up my pursuit..."   She, Lin Tiange and Qi Ke, when did she and them start? Shang Qiuyun entered the police academy a year later than Lin Tiange. When they entered the police academy, the school selected Lin Tiange, Jiang Xinyue and other class cadres to help the teachers who were interviewing for the political review to do some work within their ability.For example, calling out the interviewer's name and handing in some forms.When Jiang Xinyue called Shang Qiuyun's name, Lin Tiange, who was standing beside Jiang Xinyue, looked up from the list in Jiang Xinyue's hand and sighed inwardly, "This name reminds me of classical poems and poems." A graceful, hurt, and pitiful woman!It also reminded him of the cool, clean, and lingering rhythm of the music. In short, when he imagined, the girl named Shang Qiuyun really walked towards him as he imagined. Her face, slender and plump figure, coupled with her demure and elegant temperament, make people feel that her beauty is extraordinary and refined. 

When he looked at the girl with admiring eyes, the girl smiled at him very politely and friendlyly, and he whispered: "Don't be nervous, good luck!" She nodded gratefully at him.  Autumn is the most beautiful season on campus. There are two huge ginkgo trees near the entrance. The leaves of the ginkgo trees are shining golden in the autumn scenery. The golden leaves like brocade are blown by the dust-free wind, like The inscription of the years with excellent texture... On the first day of freshmen’s enrollment, Shang Qiuyun held a large bag of books and indulged in the beauty of the leaves of the ginkgo tree. He didn’t want to but collided with Qi Ke who was looking for something in the bag. The whole bag of books was scattered on the ground. . "Oh, I'm so sorry!" Qi Ke hurriedly knelt down and picked up the books one by one... Qi Ke in front of him had dark skin, calm and sophisticated, and his voice was magnetic and textured.  She said, "It's okay!" She also hurriedly squatted down to pick up the book, but she and Qi Ke grabbed Qiong Yao's book.  He said, "You have it. I'm looking for this book everywhere? Lend me to have a look!" He saw that there were two bags on the ground besides the pile of books, and he smiled modestly and said, "Look at me. , smashed other people's books, and forced to borrow other people's books to read, but didn't wink to help carry things, what's your name? Which class are you in? Let me carry it for you!"  "My name is Shang Qiuyun, and I'm in class two (one)!" The first time she saw him, she was attracted by the complex maturity of a man in him.  "Oh, we are in the same class, let's get to know each other, my name is Qi Ke!" He stretched out his big kind hand, and she shyly handed it over, and immediately, her whole body was wrapped in a kind of kindness... "I'm so sorry, I thought you were the teacher here just now?" She used such a compliment to hide the inexplicable shyness in her heart.  "Oh? I'm so old?"  "No, that's not what I meant..." She was a little embarrassed, but when she saw him smiling at her with kind eyes, she also smiled.  That's how she got to know Lin Tiange and Qi Ke.   In the police academy, Lin Tiange and Qi are very good golf friends. They often play table tennis together in extracurricular time. Although Qi Ke is one class later than Lin Tiange, he is two years older than Lin Tiange.Qi Ke's experience is far more complicated than Lin Tiange's. People only know that Qi Ke was an orphan who later went to a coal mine to work as an underground worker.Qi Ke has a stubborn and unyielding energy in his bones. He spends all his spare time in the library, absorbing as much as possible from ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, literature, society, and law.He wants to change his status quo through his own efforts.One day he had read a little and went down the well by mistake. The foreman sarcastically satirized him, saying that if he was a piece of material, he would not be reduced to a coal blackhole in the well, what kind of cultural person! Qi Ke was annoyed by this, and he resolutely Quit my job.  He wants to go to university, but his cultural foundation is too poor. After a year of hard work, he was lucky enough to enter the police academy. Compared with his peers at the same time, life has given him hardships, and also given him experience and wisdom. Experience, he has a mature charm that you can't ignore, which makes him stand like a big tree among girls, and what Qi Kexin yearns for is the beautiful, gentle and generous Shang Qiuyun.At that time, Shang Qiuyun was the squad leader, and he was the secretary of the Youth League branch. He had many opportunities to be alone with Shang Qiuyun at work, but the police academy had strict discipline, and they were not allowed to fall in love during the school, and anyone who violated it would be expelled.For what he got today, Qi Ke has paid a lot of hard work that ordinary people can't pay. Of course, his first priority is to weigh the future, so he handles his feelings for Shang Qiuyun very carefully.He was sure that it was only a matter of time before he finally won Shang Qiuyun.He prides himself on being smart, intelligent, and possessing the fortitude of a man, and he doesn't believe that anyone will be his opponent, including the tall, unrestrained and childish Lin Tiange.  Lin Tiange is the kind of frank, simple, childlike big boy, from school to school, the experience is simple, and he is the only child in the family.Lin Tiange really has a carefree sense of superiority.Lin Tiange's test scores were actually good enough for college, but his mother was afraid that his son would be assigned to a remote area and go to the world alone, so he insisted on forcing Lin Tiange to stay at the door of the house.  Lin Tiange is a gentle and filial son. He entered the police academy according to his mother... The two young men fell in love with Shang Qiuyun at the same time. who breaks first.  The delicate relationship between the three of them remained until Lin Tiange graduated.  On the night of Lin Tiange's graduation, Lin Tiange and Qi Ke went to the tavern next to the police academy alone. They just drank and didn't speak for a long time.But it seemed that everyone knew what they were going to say. After several rounds of drinking, Lin Tiange's face turned red, while Qi Ke's face gradually turned sallow.  Lin Tiange spoke, he said that you are the elder brother, you can say it, Qi Ke held the wine glass and said that you are the younger brother, if he said it for his brother, he would embarrass you, but for his brother, he would not say it.Tell me, brother! Lin Tiange said, I know we both fell in love with the same girl, now we are two fair competition, you are big, the opportunity is yours first, if you succeed, I will recognize her as my sister-in-law, if you fail , then it's my turn to fight.I hope you fail in my heart, so I still have a chance, right! Don't be annoyed by what I said, I drank too much.Lin Tiange smiled wryly and took a drink by himself, and Qi Ke followed suit, then squeezed Lin Tiange's hand and said: "You are a younger brother, you can't do this as a brother, since it is a fair competition, let's decide by tossing a coin." First, if the side of wheat ears is on top, then Qi Ke found a coin and asked Lin Tiange to toss it first. Lin Tiange said that it was a matter of fate, so just throw it. Lin Tiange didn't expect it to be The ears of wheat were facing upwards. Lin Tiange saw another layer of gray on Qi Ke's face. Qi Ke closed his eyes and tossed the coin high. It took a long time for the coin to settle on the table. Qi Ke didn't Seeing ears of wheat...  Lin Tiange went to Shang Qiuyun's place several times alone, but he couldn't say anything. The next time he opened his mouth to propose for himself, but when he came out, he said it for Qi Ke. Lin Tiange said, I know that one of the three of us must retreat anyway. Row.Qi Ke loves you very much. After thinking about it over and over again, you two are suitable. Although I will be in pain, I will gradually get better. This is the last time we meet. When we meet again, it will be your wedding. I bless you and don't forget me... Lin Tiange's words were sad and emotional, Shang Qiuyun looked at Lin Tiange who walked out holding back tears, his heart was empty... Shang Qiuyun has never been able to tell whether she likes Lin Tiange's free and easy style, or Qi Ke's maturity.Perhaps at first in her heart, she still prefers the mature and prudent Qi Ke.However, she always felt his complexity and elusiveness. He kept silent about his past. Intuitively, his past was a mystery to her... She was completely disappointed in Qi Ke because of the scene on the eve of graduation. "Jump Incident".  It is rumored that Qi Ke has a woman named "Mao Baby" outside, and the two have been dating for many years, and Qi Ke has a good friend again in the police academy, so he breaks up with "Mao Baby" in a showdown, and "Mao Baby" forces Qi Ke to graduate After marrying her, Qi Ke refused, so the "cat baby" forced Qi Ke to the balcony and asked him to choose, either agree to marry her, or jump off the third floor, Qi Ke chose to jump off the building...  Qi Ke didn't even think that he just scratched the surface miraculously...  Shang Qiuyun accepted Lin Tiange's courtship on Christmas of this year, and they left that group photo on the snow... Now all she has left is some unrememberable love, which seems to be the last humiliation for her. It is innocent to love and be loved, but it is sinful to fall into her life.She didn't know where fate had gone wrong, she didn't want to answer any questions they raised, her spirit and body were beyond the limit of torture, she felt a sharp pain in her lower abdomen, followed by the rickety chair, spinning around Figures and houses...  She fell down heavily, into the darkness...  Blood was flowing between her legs... She had a miscarriage.  All the people present changed from a very organized face to a very human face. They looked at each other in blank dismay. They didn't know that what Shang Qiuyun shed was Lin Tiange's flesh and blood. For that little life, maybe they also acted as a part of it." The role of "killer"? 