Chapter 72 Chapter Eleven

At noon one day in late autumn, Shangguanfeng got on the train and started the journey back home to visit his relatives. Four months have passed since the Battle of Highland 634.During this time, many things happened in his life and spiritual world. For a long time after the 634 Highland Battle, Shangguan Peak hadn't fully recovered from the nightmare feeling. "Did we win the battle at Height 634?...Yes, we won. We reached the main peak.... But did we really reach the main peak alive?" Whenever he thought of this, he wondered again. He hesitated, feeling that what had happened was incomprehensible.But he couldn't help noticing that both he and the other five people who climbed the main peak of Highland 634 are still alive now, living under the brilliant southern sunshine. "...Can I really believe that?" "...No," he smiled slightly, "I wouldn't believe it. Because it's ridiculous."

It wasn't until the troops completely withdrew from the Gongmu Mountain battlefield that this nightmare feeling gradually disappeared. He gradually accepted the fact that he was still alive, but he didn't want to admit that he, Yu Deshui and others were the heroes who conquered the main peak of the 634 Heights. "...No, the real heroes are Liu Youcai, Ge Wenyi, Li Le, and Qin Erbao! Without their heroic fighting and sacrifice, the enemy's nerves would not have collapsed, and the six of us would not be able to reach the main peak of the highland!" He said Say it out loud and angrily, embarrassing the people who come to interview him every time.He survived, but the real pain in his heart has just begun.

"Yes, I survived. But Liu Youcai, Ge Wenyi, Li Le, and Qin Erbao are buried forever underground... They will never see the sky, mountains, rivers, forests and sunshine again...I am theirs Platoon leader, I took them to the battlefield, but left them there. I am sorry for them... As soon as the war is over, I will ask for demobilization or a change of job, because I am not a qualified platoon leader!" But before applying for job change or demobilization, he had to do something for those who died.Shangguanfeng first found one of Liu Youcai's suicide notes among the martyrs' suicide notes collected in the martyr's cemetery, and then took the initiative to ask Liu Youcai's mother to return home. In order to fulfill the martyr's last wish, he took this suicide note and walked into that remote small county in western Sichuan. Liu Youcai's wish was fulfilled, and the county held a grand memorial service for the martyrs, and invited Shangguanfeng to make a speech about Liu Youcai and the county magistrate. The special report on the Battle of 634 Heights caused a huge sensation, and Shangguanfeng also received a heroic welcome and reception for the first time; when he returned to the army, he took the initiative to ask the company for the second time to express his condolences to the other victims of the third platoon on behalf of the army. The family members of the victim traveled all over most of China for one and a half months.He originally wanted to fulfill the last wish of his comrades-in-arms for the martyrs in this way, but he received a warmer welcome everywhere, because by this time his name had spread throughout the country.Although he still does not want to admit that he is a hero, but in these grand welcoming ceremonies, he still has to change something inside.

"Why do so many strangers who are far away from the battlefield give me so much respect and welcome?...When I tell them about the battle at Gongmu Mountain and the battle at 634 Heights, why do they always have tears in their eyes? ?...There must be truth to all of this. The truth is that what we do, which they regard as heroic, is what this country needs, and has been celebrated and admired since ancient times.  … I did not think in the past I am a hero, because I only evaluate my actions in the context of the battlefield, and think they are not much to sing about, but if I put them in the daily behavior of the majority of my peers in the rear, I will undoubtedly become a hero Behavior. Today's heroes are not defined in war, but in peace...." Thinking of this, he was already agitated, and for the first time clearly realized the 634 that left him with so many painful memories The Battle of the Highlands turned out to be the most brilliant, valuable and memorable experience in his 17-year-old life.

When he returned to the company, his heart was relatively calm, and the pain that seemed to be strangled by someone when he walked off the battlefield faded.Because their fighting and sacrifice on the 634 Heights were finally connected with something solemn and noble that runs through the history of the nation, he felt in a trance that Liu Youcai, Ge Wenyi and the others could close their eyes in the martyrs cemetery in southern Xinjiang. Then he applied to Lianli for a job change.After the war, the Ninth Company has undergone great changes: Cheng Ming and Liang Pengfei have been transferred to new positions; new company commanders and instructors have been appointed from the Eighth and Fifth Companies; Captain; the company's merit evaluation has basically ended, Yu Deshui and the other five who finally reached the main peak of 634 Heights were all sent to the Army Academy for further study; the company and regiment reported him first-class merit, and the military region has not yet approved it.The new company commander's instructor respected him a lot, and when he saw his job change report, he was at a loss:

"Deputy company commander, do you think that your merit evaluation is low?... Let me tell you a piece of news, the reason why the military region has not approved your first-class merit is because it wants to ask the military commission to report special merit and honorary titles for you!  … ...Look at the newspapers these days, if you really want to leave, who dares to approve your change of job?!" Shangguanfeng read many articles about the battle between him and 634 Heights in the newspaper, and even he himself felt that it was absurd to want to change jobs now.A new publicity climax is coming. Within a few days, the army was ordered to organize a tour report group on the deeds of heroes and models, and he was the first member on the list.

Compared with the welcome and respect received in this event, the welcome received as a representative of the army in the hometown of the martyrs in the past two months is nothing to mention.This is a nationwide event. No matter where they go, what they see before them is a welcome scene with loud gongs and drums and an empty alleyway, and a grand report meeting attended by high-level leaders.There are also luxurious hotels for accommodation, scenic spots and historical sites for visits, and cultural evenings specially held for them for entertainment. After being exposed to this overwhelming wave of welcome for a long time, Shangguanfeng gradually felt that he was no longer a fighting hero. Respect, but on behalf of all the soldiers who participated in the war—no, it is the profession of soldiers—accepting the respect and admiration of the people of the whole country.

"...No matter what a person does, he will not and should not be welcomed by the city. It can only be moved and respected by the soldier as a whole....The ancient profession of the soldier is no different from any other profession. People's respect for it comes not only from the feats made by soldiers, but also from their sympathy and understanding of the suffering and sacrifices soldiers have to suffer. It is on the basis of this sympathy and understanding that the military profession becomes noble. , majestic, admirable.  …” Later, he became more natural in accepting the welcome from all over the world. Once the enthusiasm in a certain place was a little less, he would feel a little unpleasant feeling acutely.In fact, as time went on, this postwar propaganda boom was ebbing, and new news and propaganda flashes appeared in newspapers, radio, and television.Considering this situation, the head of the military region decided to end the activities of the reporting group early and let them go back after finishing the last report.

This last presentation was given in the auditorium of a large mine.It was after this report that Shangguanfeng received a very strong mental stimulation.Because a foreign-funded enterprise wanted to sign an investment letter of intent with the mine, there was only one propaganda minister to accompany the meeting, and at the end of the report meeting, no one thought of inviting them to dinner. All the leaders of the mine went to accompany the tall nose and yellow hair of foreigners.When the Propaganda Minister found the factory manager at the wine table with him and said, "There are still a group of fighting heroes who haven't eaten" (the minister's original words), the factory manager said impatiently: "Order instant noodles and send them away! Everyone waited for another hour before everyone ate a small bowl of instant noodles. When they set off, they realized that the mine did not prepare tickets for them, and they had to squeeze themselves into the already crowded hard-seat carriages.Getting into the car with obvious resentment, Zhao Jian quickly quarreled with two Sichuan cigarette dealers over a seat.Even though the driver found out their identities later, arranged them to sit in the dining car, and made up sleepers one by one during the journey, Zhao Jian's anger still didn't go away.After returning to the army, he didn't want to go to any military school anymore!

"Damn it, I fought a battle in Gongmushan!...After finishing the military academy, I can't come back to lead troops to fight? That's enough, I don't want to work for those bastards on the train anymore!" As a result, in early September, Wu Bin, Yu Deshui, Zhao Guangming and Zhao Guangliang were the only ones Shangguanfeng sent to the train station to send to the military academy.After finishing this matter, Shangguanfeng felt his heart was deeply hurt again. "There is something wrong with what Zhao Jian did.... But did the leader of that mine do it right? And the cigarette dealers on the train who robbed Zhao Jian of their seats, did they do it right? And the train full of people People, knowing that Zhao Jian was a soldier who participated in the war, but no one stood up to accuse those two unreasonable cigarette dealers... Liu Youcai and his bones are not cold, are soldiers worthless to them?... The most important thing Yes, all the welcome and admiration we received not so long ago was all false, just for the sake of publicity?  …”

It was at this time that the new head of the regiment, Liu Zongkui, talked to him and asked him if he had made a choice between going to the Army Academy and staying in the army.Shangguanfeng was in a bad mood, he felt that he couldn't give the group leader an answer until he found a satisfactory answer to the new question that just came from the bottom of his heart.This new question is: Is the fate of soldiers in a peaceful environment like this, to shed blood and die when there is a border war, and to be treated like a shoe when the war is over?Whether he goes to the Army Academy or stays in the army, he still wants to be a soldier.But that new question gave him one to ponder: Not where to be a soldier, but does it really make sense to remain a soldier in peacetime? He thought for a while and said to Liu Zongkui: "Captain, I haven't made a final decision yet.... Now I just want to go home for a vacation, and I'll think about it in the middle of the vacation." Liu Zongkui agreed. When the train started, he didn't think about the decision Liu Zongkui asked him to make, but vividly remembered Liu Xi.After the war, he and Liu Xi only knew through two letters that she had been admitted to the art department of the City Teachers College this summer, but there was no relationship between them.After this battle, Shangguanfeng's views on many things have changed. Talking about love in letters is already a childish and ridiculous behavior.But on such a day, he once again lost interest in everything that war and the profession of a soldier gave him, and Liuxi became the most important existence in his life.The closer the train was to his hometown, the more excited Shangguanfeng felt.Before leaving, he didn't telegraph his parents, but he telegraphed Liu Xi, asking her to pick him up at the train station. "I'm going to meet Liu Xi soon," he thought impulsively, his whole body hot, "as a man, I have experienced many things. I have gone to college, joined the army, fought in wars, and escaped death. … I also had passionate and lingering love, although Liu Xi and I looked childish at that time, but it was still love." "This time I will marry Liu Xi," he suddenly thought, and understood that it was not a union in the legal sense, It is the combination of mind and body, and I feel that it is also what Liu Xi is looking forward to. "I've been through everything else, and after going through this, I don't have anything to regret in my life as a human being."