Chapter 23 third chapter

"Hey, Xiao Qun, what do you think of Captain Jiang?" At noon, Jiang Tao had just left, and there were only her and Xiao Qun left in the cave, so Bai Fan couldn't wait to ask such a question. Xiao Qun was in a very happy mood at this time: Although there were some twists and turns, he and Bai Fan still managed to settle down in the forward command post of the A Regiment before the war started; In his words, he "entered the working state", and the large article on war reforms also entered the conception stage in his mind.Hearing Bai Fan's words, he raised his head, felt a "thump" in his heart, and thought: Ouch, isn't she in love with this person?

It is not without reason that Xiao Qun came up with such thoughts: Jiang Tao has been away for a long time, and Bai Fan is still sitting motionless, with his elbows resting on the table and his cheeks in his hands, his cheeks are flushed, and his eyes are full of love and dreams. like light.Xiao Qun is familiar with Bai Fan's expression, and knows better what it means: the reason he didn't write a poetic love letter to Bai Fan during college was that she was afraid that she would be caught by anyone of her age and suave at any time. It has a personality that easily casts admiring glances at men who are confused by strange men.

When I arrived at the Command Post of Regiment A today, her old problem had recurred, Xiao Qun thought.Thinking of her current situation of waiting to be married, he was not overly surprised.However, a little nostalgia for Bai Fan that quietly appeared in the bottom of my heart during the journey for many days suddenly disappeared. "Regimental Commander Jiang is of course excellent. He is outstanding among commanders of the same age." He responded to Bai Fan's words and added some water to his teacup. After Jiang Tao gave him many fresh and powerful impressions, he realized that this was also one of the jobs he had to do to write that article. "Regimental Commander Jiang was born in a military family, well-educated, talented, ambitious, and has no sense of frustration. People who say in the world that they can "hold up the ambitions of the universe and seize the hearts of the world" are such people. Maybe not very far away In the future, five, ten, fifteen years, our army will be commanded by such a group of people." He paused to collect his scattered thoughts. "...But as far as the current situation is concerned, Captain Jiang and his kind are still in the immature stage because of their young age, limited experience, or lack of education." What you get, if you don't say it, your thinking will be incomplete and incomplete. "People like Tuan Zhang are too fond of being unconventional, using shocking words and deeds to conflict with the general thoughts, morals, and ethical norms of society in order to attract attention and praise. Looking deeper, they just like to create theater effects too much.  … ... Head Jiang told us so much today, although there are many wonderful things, but it also makes people feel that he is not as confident in himself as he said, and he is still at the stage of longing for praise from others. Lao Tzu Said: "A great weapon has no shape, but a great sound has no sound." "Lu Shi Chunqiu" said: "A great craftsman does not chop, a big cook does not do beans, a brave man does not fight, and a soldier does not invade." Obviously, Tuan Zhang is far from this kind of real China. The esoteric wisdom of trademarks is still far away. They almost still don’t understand that what history respects is only the result, not what you have said and done.” He took a sip of tea, trying to divert his thoughts from Chinese culture and Returning to Jiang Tao in the abstract speculation of the historical movement, his attitude has become more tolerant. "Of course, despite all this, people like Tuan Zhang are still the most vigorous, creative, ambitious, and therefore most promising group in contemporary Chinese social life. As time goes by, they will definitely mature. , to play all kinds of major historical roles that fate will be played by them. As for us, today’s mission is to advocate for them. Help them grow healthier and faster, which will also play a role in promoting the process of history!  …”

He finally stopped to notice the reaction of the other man in the cave.His inner world has entered into a state of fierce self-debate, and although his words are spoken with the flow of inner consciousness, they can be regarded as some fulcrums of his thinking for that big article .He had already realized this, so he hoped that Bai Fan could make a hearty rebuttal to his words, even if it made him very embarrassing, so as to sharpen them more accurately and sharply in the debate.But Bai Fan didn't respond.Her motionless sitting posture, the still bright blush on her face, and the two misty bright spots in her eyes all showed that she no longer paid attention to what Xiao Qun said.Xiao Qun understood that it was ridiculous for him to have a serious exchange of ideas with this person, and Bai Fan was not a person suitable for this kind of exchange at all.But he was excited by his own thoughts just now, and he couldn't and didn't want to interrupt them. "...Actually, what I really want to say is," he said to himself in his heart, "Jiang Tao and I are both people with special historical missions. We are both at the starting line of our careers. Tomorrow will be an extremely important event. At any moment, Jiang Tao's success will also lead to my success, and Jiang Tao's failure will also bankrupt my plan to be realized during the frontline trip..." He no longer cared about Bai Fan.When he came here, he didn't place too many expectations on her in terms of completing the task, and this understanding became even clearer at this time.However, Bai Fan's question just now is still meaningful. It prompted him to think about Jiang Tao and his kind. Now he should record these thoughts that can be the fulcrum of the article in the interview book.Unexpectedly, once he posted it, he couldn't accept it. He was immersed in this matter all afternoon, and he outlined the main points and outline of the whole article with great enthusiasm.

Compared with Xiao Qun, Bai Fan's experience this afternoon was both happy and painful.She felt that before she came to Maoerling, she didn't want to fall in love with anyone casually. After a failed marriage, she also felt that she would never fall in love with anyone easily again.But from the first second she came to Maoerling, she found with some sadness that she was still completely attracted by Jiang Tao's demeanor, words, and stories.When Jiang Tao finished his self-report and left the cave, Bai Fan felt lost and extremely painful for a moment. "Did I really fall in love with him at first sight?" She asked herself, struggling inside, unwilling to admit it was true, "No, no, I don't want to be like this..." But this kind of feeling is so beautiful, It fills the heart with joy, and the whole soul trembles with excitement.She hasn't experienced it since her marriage.Bai Fan loved to read Shakespeare when she was in college. At that time, she firmly believed that every girl who is born beautiful—she herself is such a girl—has a destiny, either because of a perfect love to get brilliant happiness, or because of a deep-rooted love. There is no, and should not be, a third fate—between, say, happiness and misery—fate beyond love’s unsatisfied death on the stage of life in splendor. "...Why can't Jiang Tao be my destiny?" She asked herself joyfully with a trembling heart, "I am a woman waiting to be married, and he is a divorced man. I have traveled all over the world to find That Prince Charming saw him in the field camp on the southern border, and he seemed to cast admiring and admiring gazes at me from the first second... Of course I won't force anything, but if a Romantic love finds itself at the door, so why should I refuse it?"

If she could hide the above feelings and thoughts in her heart, Bai Fan would not be herself.The deeper she gets into a romantic entanglement, the more she needs approval from others.So she asked about Xiao Qun's impression of Jiang Tao.As soon as Xiao Qun mentioned that Jiang Tao was smart, heroic, promising, and outstanding, she stopped listening to it. A few comments like this were enough for her.The next thing she imagined was Jiang Tao—his sparkling, bold, passionate eyes; his neat white teeth; the masculine charm that radiated from every solid muscle in his body; and so on.Everything about this man is so perfect, she couldn't help but feel tenderness in her heart: Maybe, something will really happen between her and Jiang Tao... Thinking further, something appeared in her consciousness Another woman, a female military doctor named Zhang Li.Bai Fan's way of getting rid of this obstacle is simple: in the past, she often became the protagonist in such rumors, and she understands that there is a long distance between a man and a woman from a secret love affair to sharing the same bed; secondly, Jiang Tao Not just any man, and it would be absurd to imagine him falling in love with a disreputable little widow from a ravine field hospital.This incident is probably just fabricated by his "opposite" in order to discredit his reputation!

...However, when she finally calmed down from the initial excitement and enthusiasm, and thought of the possibility of finally getting married with Jiang Tao, a sense of inferiority crept into her heart. "Will Jiang Tao fall in love with me? He is such an excellent man. If he can't fall in love with the female military doctor in the field hospital in the valley, how can he fall in love with me?" She thought for a while, feeling ashamed. "...I'm just an ordinary female reporter. I've been married, and I'm a bit older....Jiang Tao came from a high-ranking family, with outstanding talents, a bright future, and so good at pleasing women." In an instant, she I clearly recalled when I first met in the morning, when I saw Jiang Tao's passionate, bright, and powerful eyes, I blushed and my heart beat, and I felt even more depressed. "A man like him is one in a thousand. After the divorce, he should have been owned by a girl who is younger, smarter, has a better family background, and is smarter than me. The reason why he is still single may be his criteria for choosing a spouse. Too high, all the women around him who could be his wife have not met that standard." She understood that Jiang Tao's "around" is actually very large, "He doesn't like them, and of course he has no reason to look at me." She came to a conclusion, which begs another question. "But why is he so warm to me today?" She asked herself, her despair deepened, because she had already found an answer, "He may only be warm to me because I am a reporter, and he wants to Establish a good relationship with me and Xiao Qun—to put it bluntly, it is necessary to establish a good relationship with the public opinion institutions we represent.”

However, she couldn't accept this conclusion in her heart. This conclusion seemed very cruel to her, and immediately aroused her inner anger and fierce resistance. "...Why do you have to be so inferior?! Can those truly romantic love stories be measured by worldly standards?...Aren't I the best as a woman? I'm beautiful, I'm gentle, I'm Good-natured, no malice towards anyone or anything....I was born in a prestigious university, thoughtful, love life, unconventional, and can discuss philosophy, literature and art with all men who think they are deep-minded....Jiang Tao has experienced After a failed marriage, of course, he must find a woman who is more suitable for him, one in a thousand, one in a thousand, and he is willing to marry him, and I am just such a woman!"

However, this new conclusion is equally unconvincing as the above conclusion.Bai Fan is unwilling to give up the last conclusion, because she is unwilling to give up this opportunity to make herself the heroine of a happy love story; but she also cannot expel from her heart the idea that Jiang Tao cannot love her, because the more she Looking for reasons to deny them, the more I find that there are not many reasons for myself.It was in this increasingly painful inner struggle that she passed the rest of the afternoon.At dusk, Yin Guocai asked the cooks to come to the cave to invite them to dinner. Xiao Qun raised his head from his interview site, and was surprised to notice that her face was pale and sick.

"Bai Fan, what's the matter with you?...Are you sick?" He asked with concern. "No . . . nothing," she replied curtly, unhappily. Jiang Tao went to inspect the battalions and has not returned yet.After the meal, Yin Guocai sent someone to take her and Xiao Qun around the entire camp, and then followed a traffic trench to the observation post on the ridge.At this time, looking at the peaks of Gongmu Mountain in the twilight, Bai Fan felt that he didn't love that man at all! ——She has let herself have nothing to do with that man! However, when she returned to the cave from the observation station, she saw the bouquet of wild flowers that were still bright and alluring (Bai Fan had moved it to the table in front of her bed), and her heart ached again.Jiang Tao is likely to be the last chance for her to realize her dream of a happy and happy marriage in her life journey.Since she has no good reason to prove that they have absolutely no chance of getting married, this possibility still exists.The coming of night makes Bai Fan brave and passionate: she is really in love with Jiang Tao, if so, she must seize her chance in Maoerling and try to make Jiang Tao fall in love with her.Bai Fan longed for an ending that made her tremble with excitement at this moment: when the small-scale war in the Gongmu Mountain area ends, she and Jiang Tao can reap the sweetness of love and marriage together fruit!