Chapter 10 Episode ten

Jiang Man placed the refrigerator he won from the branch in the hidden department, and then went to the tent of the wounded.At the door, I heard Xiao Li calling "Nurse" from the minor injury number.A male nurse hurried over, but Xiao Li frowned and said, "I didn't call you, I called that girl nurse." Chick—someone laughed. Xiao Tang, known as the girl nurse, was very embarrassed because of the wounded's "command general", and pouted, "What's the matter?" "Why do you ignore me?" This Xiao Li went up after he was discharged from the rear hospital the day before yesterday after having a cecum operation. He didn't participate in the offensive battle, and he didn't take part in the hot cat ear piercing.His face is full of acne, and his eyes are very sharp, just like glass balls.I heard that before joining the army, he was a "million-dollar household", a small tailor.Presumably, he is used to playing around on weekdays, and he has never been able to stand the restraint of the collar hook tightly locked on his Adam's apple.He went to the battlefield with the guitar on his back, and sat carelessly on the edge of the trench playing the guitar. A shell gave him a mild concussion, and a piece of shrapnel was embedded in his arm, and the guitar shattered.In the field ambulance, his injuries were minor, and the nurses didn't take much care of him. Presumably they couldn't stand being left out and were full of resentment to deliberately seek trouble?

"Girl nurse—come here." "Li Daheng, can you be quiet for a while?" A seriously injured man with sideburns was covered in bandages, as if he had been tortured, and shouted: "This is not the time when you were selling clothes in the free market. What are you shouting about?" "Don't call me 'nickname' and mind your own business." "Shut up! You still have the nerve to call the nurse? You rolled down at the sound of a cannon—humph." "You're talking nonsense!" Li "tycoon" was about to get up, dizzy, about to vomit, and lay down again...

Jiang Man authoritatively issued an order: "Don't make any noise!—Xiao Li, do you want some water? (Xiao Li shakes his head) Do you want a potty? (Xiao Li shakes his head again) Do you have a headache?" Tears flowed from the corners of Xiao Li's eyes. silence. Jiang Man fetched water and wiped Xiao Li's face as he did for other wounded.Xiao Li grabbed the towel and threw it back into the water basin. The ripples of the water seemed to swing out of the edge of the basin and extend into the boundless space. The Vietnamese army fired again. From the door of the tent, you can see the smoke and dust hovering on the mountain, rising...

The seriously wounded man with sideburns made great contributions in the offensive, but was later injured by a landmine. He never spoke, and he didn't want to hear others talking. He became anxious and hurt people when he spoke.Now, he was pounding the bed with his only healthy fist to vent his anger! The infusion stand is shaking; The infusion tube is shaking; The lamp also seems to be swaying; Shaking emotions, shaking hearts, shaking positions... Quiet. It was so quiet that it was suffocating and breathless. It was as if the gunpowder smoke had blocked the throats of everyone in the tent...

Jiang Man was wiping the dirt from the ear of a wounded man with the corner of a towel.The wounded man suddenly turned his face and begged, "Head nurse, please sing a song." The atmosphere seems to have eased.She saw that the wounded man's face seemed to be alive, and his eyes became brighter and more agile.The helplessness of the wounded about themselves, their worries about the future, and the annoyance and anxiety caused by leaving the battlefield seemed to have subsided, just like she was some kind of singer. "I can't sing since I was a child, and my voice is broken."

The whole tent seemed to go dark. There was silence again. The sideburns were beating on the bed again, and the sound was slow and heavy, accompanied by rough breathing. Someone suddenly covered his head with a quilt. Jiang Man sighed: "Don't be like this, just sing, but they are all old-fashioned songs..." Regardless of whether it is pleasant to the ear or not, she sang softly in a hoarse voice.If singing can soothe the pain of her comrades in arms and comfort those restless hearts, she is willing to sing for ten days until she can't speak.Singing is a wonderful thing, its flowing rhythm is like a bird flying from one mind to find another.Although the road of life is long, the memories that have been screened are only a few pages.Every memory can be magically attached to a song.The memory is carried by Geer, or the memory is brought out by Geer.Sometimes, a stranger can also see the climax of his life and the past years from the other party's singing.The soul of the past has possessed again! --um, yes.She can only sing those outdated songs—but those songs hide her entire childhood, including teenagers and youths.She didn't know how she could remember "The Second Little Cowherd" she sang when she was babbling? "The cow is still grazing on the hillside, but the child herding the cow has gone somewhere..." In the singing, she was in a trance like a baby girl again.She loves to cry, yes, her eyes are always watery - but she also loves to laugh!When wearing a red scarf, singing "Let's swing the oars..." Well, carefree and innocent, how wonderful it was then!She sang softly, her mouth was not wide open, and when she sang, she stared down at the corner of the tent, as if she was looking for something.Yes, why did she sing "Tricycle"?What could she find in this song on the Volga?What are you looking for in the Great Northern Wilderness?The wind and snow all over the sky, the wilderness without borders, dragons, pheasants, quails—Plululu flew to hit her heart again.She, Tong Chuan, and Xiaoyan, sitting on the snow sledge and marching into the Great Northern Wilderness, it is the wind.Flying like lightning!God, it's too fast to keep your eyes open!Everyone went crazy!Who doesn't have wounds in his heart?Those whose families are ruined, whose parents are trapped in the cowshed, who have no right to wear red armbands... No one doubts that they have brought a whole body of faults from their mother's womb, who needs to be re-educated, and no one doubts that they will spend their entire lives in farming and guarding the border!People and ideas are all galloping and galloping in the snow field at will.Shouting, shouting, admiring, later, someone sang a Soviet song, and all hearts embraced the song at once.The bells of the snow sledge, the whistling sound of the wind and snow, and the voice of the broken gong mingled together—"Ice and snow covered the Volga River, and troikas ran on the glacier..." The voice could not turn, but the ice sledge did. , the head bumped against the head, and the frost on the eyelashes rattled, it hurt so much, the pain was exhilarating.Rubbing her head, laughing loudly, she stretched out the cotton glove wrapped with a "big knife" on her fist, and punched the partner who bumped her head—who is he?Oh, Tong Chuan!

Oh, Tong Chuan! ... The icy water attack on the small forest train station; the wooden house... bonfire. Flyover, in the white smoke from the locomotive, envelopes and stamps of disappointment are twirling... Peace Restaurant, white wine, red wine, that big hand that turns the wine glass... An empty new house, a pine needle on the bedside table... Dalin and her awkward photos; Dalin walked out of the new house, gone forever... A bouquet of plastic flowers in front of the martyr's tomb, with her name written on a white ribbon... Can others also find themselves in this song? "Three sets of cars" has become a chorus. In the deep male chorus, Jiang Man could not regain his thoughts and quietly walked out of the tent.

The sound of cannon rolls faintly in the distance. She remembered that it was an evening full of thunder and lightning.Yes, on the evening of the thunderstorm, she got the news of Lin Dalin's death and went to Lin's house.She wanted to comfort the two elderly people, and also wanted to read Dalin's suicide note.Not only in terms of form, but more importantly, she must do her best in terms of emotion.Only in this way can her guilty heart be soothed.After Dalin left, my mother came to Lin's house to have a conversation with Lin's father and Lin's mother.She never went through this door.She hesitated at the door for a long time before she boldly knocked on the door twice guiltily.

The door opened and the room was full of people.There are people from the Civil Affairs Bureau, and there are also comrades from Dalin's unit.Maybe it was the psychological waves, she immediately saw the portrait of Dalin in a black gauze hanging on the wall.In an instant, everything seemed to disappear, the black frame tightly wrapped around her heart, her eyes were blurred, her ears were buzzing, and Xiao Lin who opened the door asked her twice before she woke up. "Whom are you looking for?—Whom are you looking for?" Kobayashi pretended to be a stranger with anger in his question.

"Ah... let me take a look..." "What are you looking at? No one is here! What are you still looking for? Please go back!" The "exit order" was very strong, but Jiang Man didn't move.Lin Haimeng saw it, came over and pushed the youngest son away abruptly, and said to Jiang Man, "Son, come in, child, come in." "Let me see you two elders..." "Ah, good, good. We want to take some time to see you. We are all happy that you are here." He looked at Lin's mother, and the old obstetrician and gynecologist couldn't be happy, and the circles of his eyes were red again.The generosity, love and understanding of the old man made Jiang Man feel sad.But don't cry, she thought, don't make people cry.She looked at Lin Haimeng. The old man was holding on, holding the corner of the table with his hands, and went to pour tea.He lost a lot of weight, and his red and swollen eyes looked even smaller—Lin Dalin must be like this if he can live to this age.The wrinkles on his face were tightening and twitching, as if they would collapse if they were loosened.He was extricating himself, continuing what he said just now, and said to the troops:

"In the battle of Siping, we survived one by one, and there were only seven left!" During the days when Jiang Man was with Dalin, for some reason, he couldn't call out "Mom and Dad".Now I want to cry from the bottom of my heart.This cry means that a burden will be placed on her shoulders, it means that she will sacrifice for this family forever, and it means her respect, love and mourning for the dead.However, her gaze met Xiao Lin's hostile gaze, her gaze broke and she lowered her head. Father Lin handed Dalin's suicide note to her. She found her name in no time: ... Please tell Jiang Man, parents, that I am an ordinary person, I can't get rid of my own narrowness, I pursue what I shouldn't pursue, I can't forget what I should forget, and I linger on what I shouldn't linger--now my pain will follow the pain of my body. Annihilated and non-existent, I thought that I must have brought her a lot of pain, and I felt very sad.Misunderstanding, what a misunderstanding!I grew up in turmoil and will die on the battlefield. Our generation is lucky to have experienced everything!At the same time, I also experienced unbearable pain.Jiang Man has suffered enough, although suffering is the school of life, but when I was about to leave this world, how I wish she would not have to suffer anymore, be brave and live happily!After my sacrifice, first, don't mention all the expenses for planning the wedding, but make sure she forgets me.Second, I hope she will love what she loves. Isn't that what I sacrificed for?Third, if she doesn't know that I'm dead, she doesn't have to tell her. The divorce certificate is attached with the letter, just give it to her... Farewell! ... The letter paper trembled in Jiang Man's hand.She said in her heart that she was holding back her tears, holding back her tears, but she couldn't help it right away.Dalin went to war and died with the regrets of life.What a good heart he has!Only when the person is gone can he clearly see his benefits.His rigor, tolerance, and forbearance—even his narrow-mindedness will make Jiang Man understand that it's all because of love, because love is deep and true.She should give him everything, but she thinks she can't forget what should be forgotten, what should not be nostalgic, she has no way to beg for forgiveness. It was raining outside, and the rain was splashing. The comrades in the Civil Affairs Bureau and the army must be aware of her relationship with Dalin, so they didn't persuade or speak, just sat there. But Xiao Lin slammed the door and left. The wind and rain rushed in through the crack of the door. It was so cold that she shivered... When Jiang Man walked out of Lin's house.It was late.The rain became more and more fierce, and the gloomy sky seemed to be collapsing.Lin Haimeng put the raincoat on Jiang Man's shoulders, and the elder saw her out. Jiang Man wrapped his raincoat tightly and walked through the rain curtain with a slanted body.She had to stop, and under the awning at the bus stop, Xiao Lin was soaking wet, waiting for her. "There is a saying, I have to ask you." "Please." "I want to ask your Excellency, when you step into the threshold of my house, are you ashamed to panic?" "Are you waiting here to attack me?" "No. I just can't see through." "It depends on what eyes you look at." "What's the meaning?" "Xiao Lin, that's enough, don't let people live!" "What, what? Are you still alive? Let me ask you—what were you doing when my brother drove in with sixty or seventy catties of weapons and equipment? When he was bleeding there and sacrificed, you and your What is 'Needle' doing? Is he drinking? Sir, you don't drink blood from the wine, do you? When my brother was alive, you treated him... and now you come to my house like a dog , hmph, what exactly do you want?" These words hurt and scolded, deeply hurt Jiang Man's heart, she was trembling for a while, and said: "Could it be that I came to your house to get something?" "If you have a conscience, you can ask your conscience." "You?! Xiaolin, I don't have to explain to you! Let me see what's wrong with the two old people?" "Come on." Xiao Lin's face became paler as he spoke, and his words became more aggressive, "You don't need to show mercy! It seems that you are very kind to my brother. Do you understand what the word "martyr" means? I'm going to see my brother. I want to ask you before I leave, don’t you admire and miss the martyrs? There is still war on the southern front, and the younger sister of a martyr can serve as a soldier. Of course, you can also request to go to the front with a special status. , but you—you, dare?" "You look down on people." "No, I can't see through it!" "As long as you can!" "If you dare to go, I, Lin Xiaolin, will use my body to fight the mines in front of you!" "Okay, thank you in advance." "No thanks." "I've been waiting.—Listen, I didn't come to your house to catch straws! What did I do with your house? Only tears, tears! . . . Here, here's the raincoat your father lent me!" Jiang Man couldn't bear the scolding, insult, and contempt.Excited, she tore the raincoat off her body.Throw it on Lin Xiaolin, turn around and throw it into the wind and rain. Lin Haimeng and Lin's mother saw the confrontation between Xiaolin and Jiang Man, and when they ran over, Jiang Man had staggered away in the wind and rain.Lin Haimeng pulled the raincoat from Xiao Lin's arms, and called out, "Jiang Man! Jiang... Man——!" When Jiang Man heard Lin Haimeng's call, his heart trembled and he slipped and fell. Lin Haimeng sighed: "Xiao Lin, what did you say, you forced people to die!" He was going to help Jiang Man, but just as he moved, Lin Xiaolin grabbed his left arm tightly: "Dad, don't worry! I'm right! Let these pranksters have a taste of sacrifice and war!" Lin Haimeng was so torn apart, he could hardly suppress his grief for days, his boredom, sorrow, and anger at Xiao Lin's behavior all vented in an instant—he swung his right palm and slapped him hard. Kobayashi slapped: "You ignorant bastard! We can take it, we can take it..." Kobayashi let go, with tears in his eyes. Jiang Man fell into the muddy nest, was stunned by this scene, suddenly got up, ran over like crazy, embraced Father Lin's arms, and shook: "Don't be like this, don't be like this! . . . If you want to hit me, hit me! Hit me!" Lin Haimeng put the raincoat on Jiang Man and said tremblingly, "How can I?! Child, can I beat you? You have suffered enough. Your mother told us everything about you, You have nothing to do to Dalin...Dalin's mother and I both know it, and it hurts to know you. My condolences. We know that you are a good boy who is sensible and reasonable." Facing this old man who is tolerant, kind, and hides his own pain, and only wants to comfort others, what else can Jiang Man say?The dearest and most respectful address she was about to call out a long time ago turned into molten molten emotion, spewing out from her throat: "Dad..." The sound was weak, and she bowed to the end. "Mom!—" The sound was extremely strong, and she hugged the old mother who had lost her son. Lin Haimeng shed two lines of tears for the first time after learning the news of his son's death. Jiang Man leaned on the old mother's shoulder, sobbing: "Mom..., let me call you that! I will serve your elders in the future, and I will never get married again. Mom..." The hearts of those present were all trembling and moved.Even the cadres of the Civil Affairs Bureau who have been doing pension work for a long time and are used to seeing the tears of the relatives of the martyrs are also moved and weeping at this time. After losing their son and losing their daughter, the hearts of the two old people were warmed by the influence, and their tears were also hot.However, when Jiang Man said "I will never get married again for the rest of my life", the two old people couldn't answer quickly.The old mother said: "You are a good boy, I know, I know. Don't be sad, you see I don't cry anymore..." Where did you say that?Her tears mixed with Jiang Man's tears.She said again: "If you have any difficulties, if you have any requests, tell us..." "I want to visit Dalin's grave." The comrades in the army quickly agreed.Comrades from the Civil Affairs Bureau greeted everyone to go back to the house.Jiang Man wanted to be alone, shook her head, and the two old men let her go.People left the bus station, but Xiao Lin sat down on the bench in the canopy. The rain seemed to be falling softly, weaving into nets and curtains.The car came in the rain, and the car went, and the water splashed everywhere.In the rain, the red, green, and yellow lights of the traffic post are blurred, and the hues and spectra flash alternately.How complicated is this world, people go east and west, people can't just walk in a one-way street... Dalin's sacrifice plunged Jiang Man into thinking about life and death, and also fell into the vortex of honor and shame.A week later, Dalin's deeds appeared in the newspaper, and Tong Chuan's name was also printed on the newspaper.Jiang Man was nearing the end of his nursing training class and was doing an internship at the Friendship Hospital.The teachers and students of the nursing training class and the Friendship Hospital soon knew that Jiang Man was the wife of a martyr.So, the blackboard published a special issue.The hospital called for learning from the martyrs, and asked Jiang Man to report on the life stories of the martyrs, but she refused because of her position.It doesn't matter if she refuses, she is in mourning - the leaders and comrades understand it this way.People try their best to appease, take care of, and show consideration for the widow of the martyr. The practice hospital no longer arranges her shift, but decides to keep Jiang Man in the Friendship Hospital when the assignment is completed two months later—this is an eye-catching and enviable event. good working environment.She was afraid of this, and it would make her restless for the rest of her life.On this day, Jiang Man walked past the special issue of the blackboard newspaper in the hospital, and lowered his head, as if he was afraid that the words Lin Dalin would burn his heart.She is even more afraid of people's criticism of her half-knowledge of the emotional dispute with Dalin.When she went home, she felt even more uneasy when she walked into Yanghuogan Alley.The hospital is doting on her, and the alley is belittling her.Neighbors in the neighborhood still have fresh memories of Jiang's unmarried wedding a few months ago.Especially after Dalin's sacrifice, the old neighbors leaned on the door panels and opened the windows to shoot cold eyes and gossip at her.Jiang Man walked into the small alley and greeted acquaintances, who bowed their heads and passed by.Suddenly she saw teachers and classmates from the nursing training class walking in front, carrying comfort items such as apples and malted milk.Those people asked Jiang Man's "matchmaker" Aunt Liu for directions in the alley: "Where is Jiang Man's home?" "The third door ahead. You are—" "Condolences to the families of the martyrs." "Oh—" The old lady's eyes turned red when she heard the word "martyr", she turned around before she could say anything, and saw Jiang Man, she wished she could pinch Jiang Man up with her eyelids and throw him to the ground.The old aunt spat on the ground... Alas, Jiang Man stood still, she felt that the old aunt was "spitting" her personality and soul, her heart was like a bee sting.She didn't want to go home to receive condolences, that honor and pension should not belong to her.She stopped at the small non-staple food store at the entrance of the alley, and wanted to wait for the condolences to leave before entering the house.A "beautiful girl" in a small non-staple food store saw her coming, and slapped the counter with a cloth duster, so that the dust was everywhere... In her annoyance, she suddenly had the idea of ​​arguing and cleaning for herself, where did she come from? What to say?Straightening his chest, he stared angrily at the "beautiful girl", and didn't stop until the other party turned around to pick his nails. She had no choice but to wander around the streets in a daze, Xidan, the gate of Chang'an Theater, the Telegraph Building... Her thoughts were chaotic, jumping between the past and the present.Yes, she was once tempted by the word "soldier" of the Production and Construction Corps, so she risked her life and ran to the Great Northern Wilderness.Think about it, it’s really like walking in the desert, thinking that you are walking in a straight line, but you deviate from the direction, and finally fall into a circle of confusion, walking from Beijing and returning to Beijing.What does Beijing mean to her?The house is in ruins, the mother is nagging all day long, she is unemployed, and her marriage is troubled... Could it be that Friendship Hospital is her destination?When this superior and good working environment beckoned to her, she suddenly felt that it should not belong to her.Why should he accept the gift that Dalin exchanged his life for?She thought that she would be in trouble for the rest of her life if she was there.She has always believed that she has at least the awareness to serve the motherland.But what did Kobayashi say?What happened to Lin Dalin when she was bleeding and sacrificing?What shameful thing did you do?Why did the neighbors roll their eyes at her, spit on her, and scold her behind their backs?Does she have no feelings for martyrs?Lin Dalin was able to sacrifice, Tong Chuan was able to fight, and even Lin Xiaolin seemed to be full of enthusiasm. Could it be that she, Jiang Man, withered?shrink?Yes, leave Beijing, serve as a soldier, go to the front line, that's the decision. Thinking about it, she turned into the post office at Liubukou, Xidan, and quickly wrote a few words to Xiao Lin: "Xiaolin: Thank you for your reminder, I hope you will fulfill your promise, please help! ——Let's see you at the Yunnan Army!" She put the letter in the mailbox, feeling much relieved. That afternoon, when she returned home, she silently flushed her face under the cold water pipe. Before she could catch her breath, she had already started to recite the old lady's scriptures.It seems that after the first "net" was broken, the old lady "spun silk" and "cocooned" again, trying to "capture" her: "Here I come to offer my condolences again. This child Dalin deserves to die. People talk about it, and people shed tears when they mention it. Alas! ... As soon as he is mentioned, he is still in a daze... Condolences I left a message, I will keep you in the Friendship Hospital to take care of you in the future. I also ask you to mourn, I can't understand this mourning, what does it mean?" Jiang Man was speechless. The old lady is cooking chicken soup for her daughter, fanning the fire with cattail fan: "I'll just say - life and death have their own fate, who is not a pile of loess? You have to think about it? No matter what you say, you are still a girl with yellow flowers!" The more he talked, the more vulgar he became. After talking for a long time, he realized that his daughter had entered the room and locked the door. "I said, did you hear that? Tong Chuan, who joined the regiment with you, also went to the south?" Jiang Man suddenly opened the door: "Mom, can you please let me be quiet for a while?" "I can't! I'm sixty! I'm born with bones and flesh, that's all I am! I'm going to hurt you, I can't." The old mother was angry, and the words in Jiang Man's heart were also run out. The mother's "capture" strengthened her choice and determination: "Success, you just talk. If there is anything else, talk. My brother will also be transferred back to Beijing soon." Well, I'll wait for you to finish talking today, if you've said enough, I'll leave here tomorrow." "Where are you going?" "Be a soldier." "You are so beautiful!" "You're wrong again, Mom—oh, I'm not in Beijing, I'm a soldier in a big city. I want to go to the front to fight!" "what? What?" Grandpa and grandma of the heavenly king!The old man's turbid eyes widened and he was expressionless.She was so frightened that she couldn't pick up the cattail leaf fan, she was angry and afraid, but she didn't dare to compete, fearing that because of the birth of mother and daughter, the words would come true.Jiang Man was a little wayward, and she was squeezed out of the "jue" in an instant, and she would really be "jue" in a blink of an eye-after all, she is a mother, and she understands the daughter she has grown up with. Jiang Man slammed the door again. The chicken soup simmering on the fire was bubbling and bubbling. Qi Xiaoyan didn't know when she came here. Listening and watching, she smiled and said, "Auntie, please don't say a few words. If I were Jiang Man, I would have let you run into the river and jump into the river." "Who runs on whom? Who runs on whom?" A scent of perfume passed by Jiang's mother, and Xiaoyan "scratched" to Jiang Man's side: "Sister Man, I read the newspaper. I'm afraid your spirit will go to hell... Come on, have fun with me. " Where is the key to happiness?Xiaoyan took Jiang Man out of the house and walked east along Wenjin Street.Beijing, it is May.Boats moored to the shore in the North Sea, looking from the bridge, the clouds in the water, the boats by the water, and the buildings under construction not far from the shore, superimposed a picture of movement and stillness.The white pagoda is supported by green willows, and the spring is already very deep.Jiang Man didn't feel anything about it, and kept silent.Xiaoyan couldn't hold back anymore, and said as she walked, "Sister Man, you scared the old lady so much that she almost lost her breath. Are you speaking out of anger? Or do you really want to be a soldier?" "real." Xiaoyan was dumbfounded, trying to see the word "fake" on Jiang Man's face. "Don't know?" "I don't think you are like Jiang Man, but like the hero Zhao Yiman." "I shed tears for Zhao Yiman when I was young..." "I've even written a composition! Do you think you're still young?" "I really hate myself for not growing up." "I don't believe you want to leave, don't believe it! Who doesn't sharpen their heads and want to stay in Beijing? At Peking University, some people adopted Kissinger-like shuttle diplomacy just after entering school, in order to occupy this geomantic treasure! Back then we didn't Also said—is it acceptable to go back to Beijing to pick up junk? Besides, you will stay in Friendship Hospital soon, and you will get pink eye disease when others look at you. How are you, are you leaving? Serving as a soldier? Stop making international jokes.” "Xiaoyan, I won't joke anymore. I've thought about it for a long time. Don't people have to admit my relationship with Dalin? It's okay to be a soldier." "Martyrdom? It can be seen that you also have feelings for Dalin." "Look at how this love word is said." "Or - to find Tong Chuan." Jiang Man shook his head, shook his head again, and said to himself: "I will never get married again in my life, and I will not find anyone." The two were speechless as they walked across the Beihai Long Bridge. Jiang Man noticed a man walking by the opposite bridge railing. The man was dressed very plainly, even sloppily.The winter double-breasted jacket covers the spring sweater, and the wool is falling off the cuffs.He pushed an old bicycle, his hair was disheveled, his glasses were shining, and he kept looking at them.If they walk fast, that person will go fast; if they walk slowly, that person will slow down. Jiang Man hurriedly tugged on Xiaoyan's sleeve, and pouted at the man. The man smiled and nodded. Xiaoyan also laughed, and whispered: "It's for me'following bag'—hey," she shouted loudly, "Come here." The broken bicycle hurriedly slanted over. "This is the suffering 'Christ', Jiang Man, called eldest sister." The man smiled and stretched out his hand: "Hello." Xiaoyan: "Jiang Man, let me introduce you. This guy who also stayed in the Corps is our 'Master Brother'—aspires to write novels, and he is called 'Tuo Weng' even if he doesn't grow a beard." "What's more," "Tuo Weng" said, "Let me introduce myself, a small townsman, a poor family, an old mother, and a brother. A Peking University student, an arrogant person..." "Come on. Smelly poor!" Xiaoyan said, "Sister Man is leaving as a soldier. Tell me your opinion. Do you understand?" "Understand? How should I put it? It took only eight years for the French archaeologist Teilhard to decipher the cuneiform code of Babylon five thousand years ago; it took fourteen years for Luo Zhenyu in the Qing Dynasty to examine and explain the oracle bone inscriptions three thousand years ago. Life is not about oracle bone inscriptions. Not the wedge cipher, but it took a whole life to break it." "It's smelly and poor. Please answer directly." "I can understand." Xiaoyan let out a long "Oh", and she was also thinking about it.She waved her hand: "'Tuo Weng' - go back and get ready." The figure got the "order arrow" and flew away. "what to prepare?" "I won't tell you, I'll scare you." "What the hell is he—" "He was involved in the 'Tiananmen incident' and spent several months in prison. He's a nice guy...but we're just playing together. It's all just playing around..." Xiaoyan was depressed, and put away all her secrets in an instant , pretending to be happy, said: "The marriage that leads to the 'grave' does not belong to me——Sister Man, it's fucking good to be a 'free' person, ok wow... ok!" Xiaoyan is smiling wryly. Jiang Man is also smiling bitterly. The two stood against the wall of the moat next to the Forbidden City. Jiang Man: "Xiaoyan, after I left, my elder brother called me, and he will pick up my mother to live in. You can take care of the old man for me during the holidays." "Look at you—it's hard to say! It's as if you're going to be a death squad and never come back. Maybe you can't make it in the army!" "Quite successful." Xiaoyan looked at Sister Man—in her moist eyes, there was the magnificent turret of the Forbidden City, and Yiyi’s willow silk. The golden, vermilion, light gray and new willow green colors infiltrated each other in her eyes, making her The eyes appear unfathomable, rich in color and majestic.Jiang Man's eyes moved slowly, moving towards the beach and the streets.There stands an advertising wall for beauty pearl cream, on which are pictures of delicate-skinned girls of the era looking at the ancient Forbidden City.The time and space of history and reality have shortened the distance, and everything old and new is so attractive. Shall we just say goodbye, lovely Beijing? Pedestrians are in a hurry on the street.Several trolleybuses of No. 103 and No. 11, which are sky blue and milky white, drove to and fro.Well, it's really interesting, they throw two "long braids" high, as if they were young and young!Jiang Man watched, feeling a kind of attachment and melancholy before leaving.She has experienced this emotion more than once - when she went to the Great Northern Wilderness, and later returned to Beijing from the small forest train station, she has experienced this emotion.But this time—it seemed to be different from any farewell and return. Is it because of depression? Is it because people grow up slowly? Is it because you see the grimness of the future? ...? Xiaoyan dragged Jiang Man to the front of her house in Nanchizi, looked up and looked at the window of the building.This young lady who is the deputy editor-in-chief of a newspaper in Beijing "bombed" her parents away today.The doors of every house in the building were locked. People were all going to work and school, and there was no sound at all.The footsteps of Jiang Man and Xiaoyan were trembling, empty, dull, lonely, and too loud. Stepping up the stairs of three floors, first, second, third... The doorknob was turned and the door opened without a sound. Suddenly, an order of "one-two!" was issued from the house, and like a whirlwind, a dozen or so young people rushed out from the kitchen, bedroom, living room, and even the toilet. Also colliding.They tuned together from different scales, and began a mixed, muddy and loud roar: "Ice and snow—covering the Volga River, troikas running on the glacier!..." Jiang Man exclaimed: "Oh! People from the Great Northern Wilderness!" Her voice was drowned in the out-of-toned, sentimental mixed chorus.The young people surrounded her with singing, pushed her, answered her, and greeted her.Some of these partners who survived the Great Northern Wilderness are already mothers of children, and some are already fathers. It seems that only by getting together can they continue their youth.Among them, some are strong workers, some are art editors, some are vegetable sellers, some are teachers, and some have nothing to do so far.We are both in Beijing, and we are usually busy with our own affairs, so it is rare to get together.Xiaoyan passed on Jiang Man's news on the phone, you colluded with me, I colluded with him, and all came to comfort their "corps comrades".However, all comforting words and greetings are not as good as this pre-arranged program - the singing is powerful, memorable and exciting.The words mingled with the singing were often submerged, but they also pointed out the theme of this gathering—"Look, the whole Great Northern Wilderness is here!" "My brothers and sisters are afraid of you jumping the moat." "Jiang Man, I just said you can’t die.” “You’re skinny…” Along with the rough singing, he stretched out his hands; along with the ecstasy roar, he stretched out another hand, and the whole building vibrated and resonated.Jiang Man didn't know which hands to shake first, who to answer first, just repeated "thank you", "thank you", "thank you..." Jiang Man was surrounded into the living room.Someone yelled desperately, "Look, look—!" The singing stopped abruptly.Jiang Man was taken aback—the partners prepared a special feast!Each person prepares one dish, and each dish must have the flavor of the Great Northern Wilderness: cold fungus, fried daylily, potato salad, fried soybeans, and pork stewed vermicelli.The wine is mountain wine. "Tuo Weng" took the lead in raising his wine glass: "Raise it up. Jiang Man brought us news comparable to the Tangshan earthquake. I didn't fully express my meaning just now--for her idea of ​​going to be a soldier, I don't know." Said——understandable. Those of us who have been fooled by the "Cultural Revolution" have suffered enough, I have scolded myself, I have scolded myself for being fanatical, crazy, and out-and-out bastards! I said, be "cannon fodder" It’s enough to treat politics as a dog—however, I got involved in the “Tiananmen Incident” and almost killed myself. So I said, let’s use this virtue to say that we serve our motherland , and then organize the 'Death Squad', we 'unlucky ones' go up first! Cheers to the 'Death Squad'!" Someone let out an "ah" and shook their heads helplessly. Someone said: "I always feel that I am an amphibious person between the previous generation and the next generation. I don't have the political and religious piety of the old ones, nor the courage to accept all cultures like the young ones. The old ones are waiting for me. Yes, with the little one on my back, I have to learn by myself... I asked myself—why the hell are you doing? I don’t know.” "Toon": "That's it, we are more civilized than the older ones, and more mature than the younger ones. Look, there will be national prime ministers, generals, and Nobel Prize winners among us..." Some people were dissatisfied when they heard this, and put down their glasses: "I don't even have a job to drink porridge..." "We are a burden-bearing generation..." “是牛。” “是骆驼。” “是马——是奶马！吃的是草挤的是奶，跑得又快……” 小燕说：“喝酒吧——干杯吧，别胡论胡侃了。我说咱们什么也不是，是'四不像'！不，是人，是浑身带伤的有脊梁的人！为了人——干杯！” cheers! 当啷，当啷，当啷！ 薄如纸，脆如酥的高脚玻璃杯相撞时，发出悦耳的声音，同时那声音也实在令人担忧，担忧玻璃会在顷刻间破碎。 生命破碎是不会有这种声音的，可江曼却想到了一个生命在顷刻间的破碎。杯中的葡萄酒是红的，哦，的确是红而稠得像血。记得小林问过“你从酒里喝出血腥味儿了”没有。永远也喝不出血腥。可是，看那紫红的酒浆在杯中荡动，江曼真的想到了血。她无心喝这酒，她怕扫了同伴的兴，可她提不起兴致。她的情感，她的思绪，在无法摆脱的哀痛和悼念中轮转。酒，在眼里模糊了，殷红的颜色却在眼里化开了…… 她放了杯，盯着杯中物…… 小燕也放了杯：“江曼，说说真实情况，大林是怎么牺牲的……”