Chapter 6 Episode Six

Ambulances passed through the street from Manping County.The refrigerator has been won, and the blood is stored in it.Jiang Man held the corner of the refrigerator with his hand, turned his face and looked towards the small street of the county town - only tens of kilometers away from the battlefield, the county town is so prosperous.This is really a special war!The rear doesn't seem to care much, people think about another thing, thinking about the economy, opening up, reform and life.The streets are full of individual vendors, who sell ready-made clothes, small pot rice noodles and multi-flavored melon seeds, and batik handicrafts... shouts come and go.Unfortunately, the movie theater was flooded with people again.The driver was so anxious that it was useless to scold her, and the horn of the ambulance was drowned out by the noise of people... The street was full of people, a sea of ​​people, a tide of people, porridge of people, a pair of feet churning, chaotic, chaotic... …

chaotic, chaotic... seven years ago.Yes, it was seven years ago, three days before the Spring Festival.Following the chaotic footsteps of the passengers, Jiang Man walked out of the Beijing station and never returned to the Great Northern Wilderness.She also checked Tong Chuan's luggage back, dragged a piece of luggage, carried a piece of luggage on her back, and carried a squirrel cage on her shoulders with a rope. She ran home like a pot of fire. What greeted her!A small courtyard in the Yanghuogan Hutong where her family lived has been burned to the ground!One and a half of the two houses were burned down, leaving only a pile of rubble.Burnt broken doors and windows, and old purlins lined across the yard.There was ashes and scorched earth everywhere.The ruined walls of the exposed house were pitch black.The old mother is stooping to pick up broken firewood and half-headed bricks.While tidying up the tatters, his mouth moved and he kept talking and listening to himself.The old man seemed to have been dried up by the fire, his face was wrinkled and dry, and there was a glaring lock of white hair on his sideburns.Jiang Man called out "Mom", and the old man raised his chaotic eyes, and it took him a long time to think about it.

"Oh, it's Xiaoman!" "Mom—what's the matter?" The old man shook his head and stood there in a daze. "You are talking, what's the matter?" "What's the matter? It's over, it's all over with one fire. He ruined himself, and also ruined this family....I just said—it's okay, Jiang Qing and his four 'things' fell down, they were liberated, it's okay Son. No, he doesn’t listen, he just doesn’t believe it. He understands for two days and is confused for three days. He’s gone crazy. He picks up some waste newspapers and old books here and there, retting, don’t let him retting in the stove , He wanted to burn the torn paper even if he lit a match. I said, you burn it, burn it, you will be fine if you burn the black material, and you won’t be caught or beaten. You can’t force that old man, if you stop him, he dares to cover the red furnace cover, and he won’t let it go when his hands are burning hot... I said that sooner or later, the house will be retting and it will be over. I am worried all day long. Look at the old man, but the tiger also has a nap! No, it’s over, it’s burning, once the fire is gone, the house is gone, and the people are burned... gone.”

The mother stared fixedly at the portrait of his wife who was burnt to pieces on the ground with only one pair of eyes left. I wonder if it was for my wife?Are you talking to yourself?Or tell Jiang Man.Jiang Man's heart was about to break when he picked up the burnt corner of the photo from the broken glass.The old father is only kind-hearted!She remembered that when she fell asleep when she was young, her father would often hold the edge of the Kang with both hands and stare at her for half an hour, as long as she opened her eyes, she could see the kindness of her face; She visited Changdian, visited Xidan, went to the Quyi Hall to listen to Jingyun Dagu; listened to cross talk, and when she came back, the old man sang to her hoarsely, repeating the Red Cliff of the Three Kingdoms, Daiyu Burying Flowers, and Lin Chong Stepping on the Snow.She also remembered that her father doted on her and loved her, and he always gave her new bills when he opened a bill—the rustling new bills only allowed her to buy books.She will never forget that her father can write well, can do good abacus, and can recite dozens of ancient poems and tunes, but he is so timid that he is afraid of dust falling on the shed...My father is a small clerk in the bank and never speaks loudly. When talking, I only know how to do things diligently, so as to raise children.I hope that my children can go to college and be better than myself in the future. In the early days of the "Cultural Revolution", he was beaten up just because he yelled a slogan in a panic, and was frightened out of his mental illness.When Jiang Man went to the Great Northern Wilderness Corps, his father saw a slight improvement, but he fell ill again because of the trend of cleaning up the class ranks.The old man!This pampered Jiangman, who loves to cry and willful, unconsciously uses traditional Chinese folk rap to enlighten Jiangman, let Jiangman buy books, read books, and ask for the stars but not the moon's benevolent father, evening scene It was so miserable!He didn't burn his own "black materials" until he died, and he burned himself to death!How could Jiang Man not be sad and emotional?The fire happened on New Year's Eve. My mother didn't tell her in the letter, but said that she had moved, and the letter was delivered to the small grocery store at the entrance of the Hutong.This is the address that Jiang Man told Tong Chuan.How did she know that there was a fire at home and the family was destroyed? !

The mother and daughter sat on the ruins, hanging on each other. Jiang Man: "Mom, why didn't you tell me when you wrote?" Mother: "What's the use of telling you? Whoever dies, I just say that I deserve it. I deserve it. Don't let you go out and worry about your heart..." Yes, the old mother who loves her children has made herself suffer.What kind of room does she live in now?Shockproof shed!In the low-lying empty lot, neighbors helped build a shed out of linoleum, old wood and reed foil.The pots, pans, ladles and spoons picked out of the fire are just enough.The bad news was not only hidden from Jiang Man, but also from his son and daughter-in-law in Taiyuan Steel Factory.

Jiang Man came back to such a broken home. Every day she "retting" in the low linoleum reed foil shed.Busy for breakfast, busy for lunch, busy for dinner, steaming big stuffed dumplings, cooking radish soup, making noodles, grilling shallots and garlic... the whole body smells like fried scallions.The ten-year catastrophe ended in October 1976, but it was far from over in her house.A fire broke out and the family was destroyed. What remained in the hearts of the mother and daughter was a dull pain.Beijing has nothing to do for Jiang Man, and the Corps and the young people who jumped in the queue are still telling Beijing.Jiang Man had no choice but to stay at home, bumping into faces with his old mother every day in the small shockproof shed.The old mother loves her and loves her, leaving all the baskets of nonsense to her alone.The old mother has always been a housewife, able to do things, but now, she is in her fifties. After the fire, she is hunched like a seven-year-old and eighty-year-old, living by nagging all day long.The old man is both pitiful and exasperating.She thought that Jiang Man and Tong Chuan "must have something to do", thinking that Tong Chuan had served as a soldier in the Great Northern Wilderness, and would have to return to the Great Northern Wilderness when he was demobilized.She was afraid that her daughter would have to go back there to suffer in the future.The more she loved her daughter, the more she looked at Tong Chuan's luggage as an eyesore.Every time she sweeps the floor, she stuffs the luggage from the corner of the shockproof shed under the bed, and the wayward Jiang Man takes the luggage out from under the bed and puts it on the bed.The mother and daughter are so secretly stubborn.Jiang Man never received Tong Chuan's letter.She ran to the small non-staple food store at the entrance of the alley whenever she had time, asking if there was any letter, and sometimes intercepting the postman's bicycle to inquire.She found that the old lady was working too hard to run to the non-staple food store, and she seemed to be struggling with her, arguing for something, but when she asked about the letter, the old lady didn't have a good face:

"I'm full? Why are you keeping your letter secret? I think you're obsessed! I'm telling you, if you plan to go back to the Great Northern Wilderness with Tong in the future, don't want this house as soon as possible, and you will be killed immediately." Just let me go." Roared for a while, suddenly sobbed dumbly, sobbed for a while, and said to himself: "There is no cruel mother, but there is a cruel daughter! What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? The fire won’t burn me to death too? Don’t be an eyesore! Alas..." Jiang Man couldn't quarrel with his old lady - it was sad enough to see the old man like that.She had no choice but to hide, wandering the streets in a dreamy way.Gradually, the old mother turned her defense into an offense, and she was given a partner.A few months passed in a blink of an eye, and in September, my mother tried to persuade me again: "Xiaoman, after a while, Aunt Liu from the front yard will bring someone to visit. Don't you have a nose that is not a nose and a face that is not a face, will it work?"

"Success. I'll make room for you." "Dare?! People go to high places, don't sit on slopes." "What is sitting on a slope?" "Look at your goat eyes! . . . " The good-natured aunt brought a man, but Jiang Manzhen just left.For this matter, the two women ignored each other for a week.Jiang Man was so idle at home that his heart grew grass, and his mouth was sore.Mother didn't forget to pick up those books for Jiang Man when the fire burned the purlin. She used to be able to live with the protagonist in famous Chinese and foreign novels all day long.But now she can't even read the book, the typeface dances in her eyes, and she will think of Tong Chuan when she holds the book—she believes that there will be a letter, and she is waiting, looking forward, and suffering.One day, my mother came back from the non-staple food store, put away the soy sauce bottle and the vinegar bottle, and threw a letter to Jiang Man, the letter had been torn.

"Look, here we come. There is a 'happy event'!" "Why did you open my letter?! Mom!" Jiang Man was very angry.But her anger melted away the moment she pinched the letter.At this moment, it seemed that all the troubles in the world had disappeared, and the low shockproof shed suddenly became brighter.Her heart was brightly illuminated by the writing on the envelope.She felt that the feeling of twisting the envelope and pulling the letter paper was very exciting and pleasant, but it was also disturbing.Her heart was shaking so badly that she almost shed tears in front of her mother.She glanced at the envelope, but there was only the recipient's address on it: "Non-staple food store in Yanghuogan Hutong, Xicheng District, turn to Mrs. Jiang—Jiang Man." Where's the sender's address?Where is Tong Chuan?Not written.God!Don't let anything happen!Jiang Man closed his eyes and prayed, then quickly opened his eyes to read the letter——

Jiang Man: I have already sent you three letters.In the past, I have been waiting for your reply, but now I don't need it, I don't need it anymore.I don't need anything anymore.I entrust my caretaker to send you a letter, which will be the last. I am a sinner now, a heinous sinner! I killed one and wounded two.I will be sentenced, I will be sent to labor reform, and then I will be punished and sent back to the Great Northern Wilderness... I thought that I had found my home after being a soldier.No, life is endless, and there is no destination.Where will my home be?The Beidahuang labor reform farm where prisoners released after serving their sentences?Probably.

Remember what I said in the letter I sent you?I imagined our reunion—in the quiet grove of the Old Summer Palace, where there should be lotus ponds, birds, and the moon, we have a picnic... This is all a dream.I told you, too, that I was showing off in the recruit company, playing the horizontal bars, playing the parallel bars, running the soccer team... I showed my face in practice too.In the Great Northern Wilderness, I secretly hunted with the submachine gun of the corps guard platoon, and I was an excellent target shooter easily.In my joy I have begun to make my own bitter wine.I have been wild since I was a child. When I was in school, I was catching up with the turbulent years, confiscated and confiscated, and "rebelled" with my senior classmates, running wild.In the Great Northern Wilderness, I stole horses and rode trains...all done.The country is easy to change, but the nature is hard to change!After the recruits left the company, my hands itch when I saw a submachine gun.In the company, I got to know a fellow named Yao from the cooking class. He hid submachine gun bullets.The two of us agreed to take advantage of the loophole and go up the mountain to hunt birds. No one can stop me from doing what I want to do.On this day, the company was helping the people with labor, and I said my stomach hurts.As soon as the people left, I stole the submachine gun up the mountain.In March, the mountains outside the Great Wall are full of residual snow, the broadleaf trees in the forest are bare, and the coniferous forest looks very solemn.The sun didn't bother to probe into the woods.There are no other people on the mountain, not even human footprints.There are only sparrows and crows flying around, it is really a good environment for hunting!In this "world" there are only Xiao Yao and I, and a submachine gun.There is no company commander, no squad leader, and no discipline.I like this, I even forget that I am a soldier, as if I am still a "Red Guard", or a soldier of the Corps or something.I showed my skills, following the burst of "bang, bang", I saw the sparrows falling from the trees like leaves, and watched the crows turn a few somersaults in the sky and fall straight down, don't mention how crazy I am.I laughed wildly, and the snow hanging from the tree rustled down and fell into my neck. We have "brilliant results".I brought back a sparrow, a crow, and a pigeon, cleaned them up, and fried them in oil in a cooking pan, until my mouth was full of oil—I never thought I was chewing bitter fruit!There was still a bullet in the chamber of the submachine gun, I forgot. In the evening, watch a movie on the illuminated stadium. It's an anxious wait before the movie opens.Something went wrong with the movie projector, and the projectionist was sweating.The terraced stands on three sides of the movie theater are full of people, all ordinary people, and the voices of people are extremely noisy.Children add to the confusion by flicking flashlights across the screen.We obeyed and sat on stools and tied our belts.Holding the gun, it seems that he intends to perform and demonstrate to the common people.The row and row spacing of the small stools seemed to have been measured with a ruler. People were poked upright on the stools, sitting upright, and the chief of staff wearing a star red armband was monitoring the enforcement of discipline everywhere.There is a stark contrast between the silence and the noise.But there is also silence in the silence. I held the gun, reminiscing about the hunting birds during the day, reminiscing about the sizzling sound of fried birds, my fingers happily slid on the barrel and trigger of Valan's submachine gun, and made a sound that only I could hear. See the sound of metal. A beam of light illuminates the rectangular screen, a harbinger of the show to begin.People's attention is drawn to the screen.The noisy people shut their mouths at this moment, staring at the screen, waiting... "boom!" There was a gunshot, and I didn't even know what was going on.All I felt was a violent jerk in the barrel of the gun, and my fingers remained on the cold trigger.The remaining evil bullet from the bird shot flew out. I didn't hear the whistle of the bullet going away, so I don't know where it went.The whole audience was shocked, and there was a dead silence for a while, there was no sound at all, my heart seemed to stop beating, and my blood froze, I was stupid. "Blood!" Someone yelled.It's over!One person was lying in a pool of blood, and two people suffered minor injuries.There was chaos in the movie theater, and the flashlights of the people all shot at me, my eyes were dazzled, and my mind went blank... The dead and injured were carried out for rescue, and I was carried out of the movie theater. I was declared administrative custody, my collar badge and hat badge were torn off, and I squatted in the small house.Outside the window, I could hear the brushing of the procession and the slogan "One Two Three Four".But I... what did I do!I banged my head against the wall and burst into tears.I don't complain to anyone, any "anarchist thinking" or "disorganization and discipline" are too light.I am a sinner, I wanted to die at that time, I died cleanly, and paid for my life with my life... Two soldiers took turns to guard me, and the company commander and instructor came to see me. I did not eat, drink, or sleep for three days.I finally understand that if I commit suicide, I can only add dirt to the army, and it can only add to the mistakes, but what's the point of living like this? A gunshot seemed to wake me up from the mental state that had lasted for more than ten years.Waking up too late.I have been handcuffed and the arrest was announced on April 2nd.When you get the letter—sentence is due in early September.I studied criminal law - manslaughter, I'm going to give five years.Five years!After he is released from prison, he will carry this stain for the rest of his life.I can't ruin you, break up!I am not going to tell you where I will serve my sentence, go to prison, or where I will go after I get out of prison. Forget about me, a sinner!Forget, forget forever! I hope to have a chance to redeem my sins. If there is a war, I am willing to ask to plug the holes and mines. My only wish is to die in battle! Maybe, I'll have a decent chance of death for atonement!I wonder if you have found your place after returning to Beijing?Death in battle, the tomb of the martyrs is the destination I am looking for. goodbye forever, goodbye... Jiang Man read the letter and cried silently.Dizzy from crying.She didn't expect that Pan Xin, Pan Xin, Pan Xin received such a bad news.She thought that Tong Chuan might be handcuffed and pushed into the iron gate of the prison by now.But where is his original unit?Where is the prison where he was kept?This letter says that three letters came first, where are those letters? "Mom, where is Tong Chuan's address? There are three more letters?" The old lady was dumb, expressionless, and did not answer. "You just think you are suitable! You ruined two people!" Jiang Man yelled like crazy, but the old lady remained unmoved.She was thinking about her own affairs, she was thinking, the old man was burned as soon as he was on fire, and he was always a companion when he was alive, and now he is gone, gone.As for the daughter, she is obsessed with that "murderer" again, how good is that?After all, she loves her daughter dearly, and is afraid that Jiang Man will get sick from being a wimp. "Xiaoman, think about it. Don't get sick. If you want to cry, just let it go... Don't worry about it, Tong Chuan is a sensible child, he is a good child who knows and understands. Don’t people have to suffer on their own? People, you can afford it and let it go, don’t be condescending, huh?” "If you still let me live, don't say it." "Don't run all the way to the dark!" "I'm waiting for him, waiting, waiting!" The old man stood there in a daze.She thought that she had spoiled her daughter, was self-willed, and accepted death.She murmured and listened to herself: "What crime did I do in my previous life? What crime did I do?... What kind of wormwood grew on our family's ancestral grave? The old man was crazy and set fire, and the dead girl followed a 'murderer'..." Old tears streamed down her dull, wrinkled cheeks. Jiang Man didn't want to listen any more, and rushed out of the earthquake shelter. "Xiaoman, where are you going? When you come back, where are you going?" Jiang Man ran back to the small courtyard that had been destroyed by the fire, and found this deserted place, where he sat blankly on the ruins, like a distraught "water spinach".Mother trembled and chased after him. "Go home. Xiaoman, I'm so used to you! Why are you so self-willed?" "Can you give me the three letters from Tong Chuan first?" "No more, it's burned!" The old lady rolled like the wind and walked away stubbornly.She is indeed "secreting" Tong Chuan's letter, but she must "secret" it to the end, and she will definitely win Jiang Man's interest.She couldn't push her daughter into the fire pit.The prisoner's family, she has been involved, and she knows what kind of crime she will suffer. After a while, Jiang Man came back, without tears or voice.She opened the camphor wood box that survived the fire, and searched for Tong Chuan's letter.She was not angry at all, and she smashed things out of the box like crazy.The camphor-smelling old clothes and trousers, as well as the "packages" prepared by the old lady for her burial after her death, were thrown all over the shockproof shed, and the squirrels in the cage trembled in shock.However, the letter disappeared without a trace.Could it be that the letter was really burned, and really let the cruel mother burn it? !