Chapter 46 I will serve the country in the future (January 20, 1915)

My career in the past twenty years has been all about politics.Since one year ago now, although I have not established myself in the dynasty for a day, my political relationship with the middle of the country has not been broken for a day.I like to shake my pen and talk, and discuss something. People in the country don't know what is wrong, and they are often happy to listen to it.My study is too thin to develop into a systematic ideal, and to open up a new path for national scholarship; my work is shallow, and I have been away from the country for a long time, so I am separated from the actual society, and I cannot refer to it for reference. Information about Fanbai social undertakings.It's just good to fight with your arms and wrists to talk about politics. Outside of politics, although there is no speech, there are swords, curtains and lights.Intention has its own place, everything belongs to politics.I also try to use words to create a character, but what I want to create is my ideal political figure.When I do political classes, I am often stimulated by my own emotions, and also stimulate the emotions of others, so my views have changed frequently, and I often get quite a response.In the past, what I saw was shallow, and sometimes I was complacent, saying that my talkativeness was of little benefit to the country's politics, and people in the country still agree with this.Although, it is true that I have observed it now, my political stories over the years have all failed and failed.I ask myself, is it possible that I don't want to sow good seeds for the politics of the country, but I don't know what I mean by good seeds, is it wrong to choose other things?Will it be sown at the right time or place?Or will it be sowed in the wrong way?To put it simply, the results obtained are quite the opposite of what I expected at the beginning.I tried to sue myself, and the work I have done is not enough to pay for the crimes I have done.I have been a political activist for many years, and I have been in contact with people in secret groups of radical factions, but my sexual behavior is not compatible with those of my generation, and I immediately abandoned it.I joined an open political group twice, but I couldn't make great achievements in the group, let alone make the group make great achievements in the country. My failures and failures are very clear.I have never had any regrets, but I am still convinced that the current political society of our country has absolutely no room for the activities of political groups.Organizing political groups based on the Chinese people today lacks a lot of qualifications as members of the group.My husband and I are one of the people who are not prepared for this qualification, and my beloved couple are all unprepared, just like me.Therefore, I feel that if we want to organize a sound political group in our country, we should do something before the organization, saying: Make sure to cultivate a large number of people who can be healthy members of the group.However, the end of the matter has not been achieved overnight.If it fails to achieve it but wants to achieve it, on the one hand, the credibility of the political organization will be lost in the present world, and the opportunity for its future development will be hindered; The quality of character and utensils are all subject to unexpected evil influences.I am afraid of this, so my activities in political groups have to be suspended.I have also tried to stand on my own in the political authority, and so far I still have my name as a part of government affairs.Although, from the very beginning, I doubted his incompetence, but because of the urgency of the current situation, the government has been suspended for a long time, and the disasters in the country may be unpredictable.During the period, I didn’t pretend to be self-confident, and I also tried to make some plans. I thought of cutting with a lead knife, but most of them were far from the current situation. I got into it a little bit, and I knew that what I advocated is very difficult to implement today, but it is the opposite. This person is constantly feeling uneasy in his heart.Although I know that it has to be done in an expedient way to save the time, it is mostly because I have never learned it in my life, and although I want to do it, I am unable to do it.If this is the case, it is true for the overall situation, and it is also true for a part of the affairs.Therefore, in support of the righteousness of "Chen Li will stop those who cannot be listed", he appealed for retirement, but he was not ordered to resign because of the politeness of the head of state, and he temporarily abused his current position.It is also useless to think about picking up the leftovers and making up for the shortcomings. In fact, the relationship with politics is becoming increasingly alienated. If I have more leisure, my entire political career will be suspended.

People who have been accustomed to this life for twenty years suddenly think of changing their ways, not to rest their shoulders and relax, especially not to run away in anger.I was originally a theoretical politician from the beginning. I was not confident in whether I could be a practical politician or not. Now, based on what I have experienced in the past year, I am still convinced that theoretical politics will never be possible in China in the future. Contempt; on the one hand, I am convinced that the politics of our country today must not be restricted by theory.Now, the ability of the head of state to implement today's appropriate politics is far superior to mine.If I join the ranks of the princes, it will not be of much help to its practice, and if you join the ranks of the princes, it will not be much helpful to my theory.In husband and wife society, it is advisable to share labor and help each other, and ability is to use one's strengths.I stand in the political authority, and I judge myself. Although I think about it night and day and devote myself to it, how many people can I serve the country by myself?The effect of the husband in the past year can be seen.I use this daily energy, this mental energy, and turn it to other aspects. How can I see that what I have done for the country is not added to today?But what about me, the political Tan family who is still a theory?As a person who is good at talking about politics in the past, if he wants to never talk about politics, he will not be able to restrain himself when the situation is solid;Although, based on my experience several times in the past twenty years, I deeply feel that the foundation of politics is always in society. If you want to apply sound political theory, you have to do more things before discussing politics.Otherwise, their political comments are only for the purpose of stimulating emotions, or for plagiarizing money, whether in politics or in society, they can cause unexpected evil influences, which are not directly beneficial to the country, but are counterproductive.Therefore, from now on, I don't want to be more political, not because I am tired.Be careful because of the difficulty.If you don't want to do more political affairs, then why are there political groups?Therefore, from now on, except for learning or discussing with two or three friends, all political groups have been suspended, and even the teachers I admire most in my life, and the friends and students I am closest to, only use morality and righteousness. Discuss with art ministers; as for his political speech and actions, I absolutely do not want to hear about them, let alone take the slightest joint and several responsibility.It's not lonely, everyone has his own views, and each has his own reasons for self-confidence, even though they are blood relatives, they may not agree with each other.

Since my husband's body is getting farther away from the political situation, and my mouth is getting closer to the political affairs, my political career will really come to an end.From now on, how can I serve the country?I think about it, I think about it again, and I still have a great vocation.Husband and I insist on people, and I will discuss with us what makes people what they are; I will discuss with our people what makes people what they are.The reason why a person is a person, and why a citizen is a citizen, is that although a husband and wife can understand the foolishness of a couple, it is not surprising that our country does not understand something, or the opposite is true.To put it bluntly, the degeneration and failure of Chinese society, the blindness and oppression, really make people shudder.If one is as humble as the other in terms of intelligence, talent and skill, he will surely be inferior to this thing. In the world of drama, the whole country will be starved to death; if he is as stealthy as the human heart and customs, he will definitely lose the goodness inherited from our ancestor Ruozong. Take the whole country as a beast.If one seeks to build politics in such a society, even though the state structure is changed year by year, its institutions are abolished every day, the laws and regulations are as high as the mountains, and the temples are dilapidated day by day, it is easy to govern from time to time. Ear!The society is so poor that it is today, and if you want to help the world with your hands, who doesn't know the difficulty?Although all the intelligent and talented people in the country are gathered in the political circles, and the society is empty, the situation is going downhill, so why not wonder?Although I am not sensitive, I have aspirations, so if I can make a contribution to any eventuality with the power of speech, then the reason why I repay the favor of the country may be because of it!