Chapter 4 teach you not to be a loser

It's 4:30pm on a Monday, I'm taking a class called "The Art of Excellence" and I've spent the last 7 hours learning how not to be a loser.After giving us a one-day explanation on the phenomenon of "neurolinguistic programming" (NLP), the lady who taught us stood in front of the class and asked each of us to talk about "what are the key knowledge points and major gains learned today". In view of this request, I ran through what happened today in my head: body language training in the morning, "super imitation" training at noon, and "belief transformation" training in the afternoon.Finally, some "key knowledge points" jumped into my mind.

NLP stands for "neuro-linguistic programming," and surprisingly few people know what it means.This may be because NLP lacks a theoretical framework, or because NLP practitioners often interpret it differently.But in a nutshell, NLP is a set of techniques drawn from fields like psychology, linguistics, and hypnotherapy that is said to help people excel in school, business, and other areas of life. NLP is very focused on non-verbal communication. NLP pays particular attention to body language (our trainer said, "55% of communication is through body language"), eye contact/movement ("In the West, 70% of communication is through the eyes, while in Asia it's 30%, but rising," she later added).

Some argue that the continued popularity of NLP since its introduction 30 years ago shows that it works. NLP believers say it can help people in a variety of ways, including mental illness, weight issues, management, sales, and even charisma. Some argue that the continued popularity of NLP, 30 years after its introduction, is an example of occult forces triumphing over science. Critics say that NLP is a rudimentary concoction of pop psychology and pseudoscience, using jargon to confuse the public, and that it is actually based on clichés or, more accurately, assumptions. Critics may be right.

A lot of the basic principles of NLP are dumb. The trainers plastered NLP rhetoric all over the walls, and I couldn't convince myself to agree with any of them.Saying "Happiness is a Choice" to Clinically Depressed Patients.To the crew of the Space Shuttle Challenger it was said that "there is no failure, only feedback." Then comes the important point of NLP: "excellence can be replicated".The idea that NLP is the only gap between the average loser and Einstein is bullshit.In fact, for some of us, being normal is enough of a challenge. A lot of what NLP says about body language is stupid.

A central idea in NLP is that if you mimic the mannerisms of the person you're talking to, including the way they speak, their body language, and even their breathing patterns, then the communication between the two parties is enhanced.But imagine if you were sitting with your legs spread out and your arms crossed, panting loudly, and a co-worker came up and sat across from you and did the same thing, would you be comfortable? ?I'm exaggerating a bit, but even in subtle situations, what NLP calls "imitation" (even to the point of imitating details) can be unpleasantly contrived.

NLP's insistence on dividing people into "categories" is silly. According to NLP, people can be classified as "visual," "auditory," or "kinesthetic," based on the different ways they perceive the world around them.Granted, I was classified as "kinesthetic" in the course, and the trainer said, "Kinesthetic people tend to be bigger because they're slower at things."Honestly, being classified as "kinesthetic" didn't increase my enthusiasm for the theory, but anyway, human nature is so unfathomably complex that trying to categorize people seems absurd.

NLP may sound scientific, but it is actually very unscientific. There are very few studies on this phenomenon, and some research results are not convincing.At the same time, Richard Bandler, the co-founder of NLP, has little support for its research. In 2000, he was quoted in the media as saying: "Once you start research, you have to get someone to do it, and someone to interpret the results. I believe that the world changes in stages, and in each stage there is a person who makes it change. I Know it's slow, but it's the best way I know." All of these thoughts came to my mind as the trainer repeatedly asked us to share insights with the rest of the class.Fortunately, someone volunteered to answer before the teacher called, and a woman spoke.Earlier in the day, the woman had undergone the neurolinguistic programming changes in front of all of us, and the process was so weird that the trainer finally announced, "There's no such thing as belief, you can't put it in a cart ".Unbelievable that despite the strangeness of what this woman was going through, she was able to say nice things about NLP, and then the trainer trilled, "Brilliant!"

Then it was my turn, and I kind of wanted to voice all my skepticism about the details, then concluded that my only "significant gain" was not paying £495 plus VAT for the course, as Reed Training graciously waived Lost my tuition.But in the end, the British style and my consistent repression of my true feelings allowed me to restrain myself and there was no embarrassment in class.I muttered something innocuous about how NLP ideas permeated so many different fields—therapy, training, business, and so on.The words get muddled. "Excellent!" said the teacher with a trill.Two minutes later, I was cleared to leave the building and happily mingled with thousands of other losers on the streets of London.