Chapter 5 Chapter 5 Super Cleaning

The only thing that mattered, Sophie thought, was showing Hal what a good cleaning lady she was, how valuable she was.She tied an old rag around her thinning white hair, rolled up her sleeves high to reveal her skinny old arms, and wrapped an old tablecloth around her body as an apron from the broom cabinet.It was a relief to think of four houses to clean instead of a whole castle.She grabbed her bucket and long broom and got to work. "What are you doing?" Mike and Calcifer exclaimed in unison, as if terrified. "General cleaning." Sophie replied decisively, "This place is too hideous."

"No need," said Calcifer, and Mike grumbled, "Howl will kick you out!" But Sophie ignored them all.Dusty. While Sophie was cleaning, there was another bang on the door.Calcifer stood up and shouted, "The door of Port Shelter!" After speaking, he sneezed loudly, and purple sparks scattered in the diffuse dust. Mike left the workbench and walked towards the door.Sophie peeked through the dust she had raised, and saw Mike turn the square handle on the door this time so that the blue side was down.He opened the door, and outside the door was the scenery seen from the window.

A little girl is standing there. "Excuse me, Mr. Fisher," she said, "I'll help Mom get that spell." "Safety charm for your dad's boat, eh?" Mike said. "Right now." He went back to the bench, weighed some powder from the jar on the shelf, and put it on a slip of paper.While he was busy, the little girl and Sophie looked at each other curiously.Mike wrapped the powder in paper and went back to the door and said, "Tell him to spread it along the boat. It will be protected from the sea to the return, even if there is a storm." The girl took the paper bag and handed over a coin. "Is there another witch who works for a wizard?" she asked.

"No." Mike replied. "Are you talking about me?" cried Sophie. "Ah, yes, boy. I'm the best and cleanest witch in Ingrid." Mike closed the door, looking annoyed. "It's going to spread all over Port Shelter now. Hal doesn't like it." He turned the green flag down again. Sophie giggled twice, without remorse.It is likely that the long broom in her hand gave her the idea.But if everyone thinks she's doing things for Hal, Hal might be urged to let her stay.If she had been a girl, Sophie would have been ashamed.But being an old woman, she doesn't mind what she does.She felt so relieved.

Mike lifted a stone from the fireplace and hid the coin given by the little girl under it. Sophie snuggled up, "What are you doing?" "Calcifer and I want to save some money," said Mike rather sheepishly, "or Hal's going to spend every penny." "Useless prodigal!" said Calcifer, crackling. "He spends the King's money faster than I can burn a log. No brains." Sophie fetched water from the sink and spread it to press down the dust.Calcifer hastily retreated back against the chimney.Then she started sweeping the floor a second time.She glanced towards the door to see the square handle above it.The fourth side, the unused side, is marked black.Sophie briskly swept the cobwebs on the beam, secretly wondering where this side led.Mike grumbled and Calcifer sneezed.

At this moment, Hal walked out of the bathroom, and there was a burst of wet fragrance.He was clean and handsome, almost completely new.Even the silver slits and embroidery on his suit seemed to shine brighter.Seeing the situation in front of him, he covered his head with his silver-blue sleeve and went back to the bathroom. "Stop, you woman!" he cried, "don't touch those poor spiders!" "What a mess these webs are!" said Sophie, brushing them off in bunches. "Then get it off, but don't touch the spider," Hal said. He and the spider probably had an unholy affinity, Sophie thought. "They just make more webs," she said.

"It catches flies too, very useful," said Hal, "and please keep the broom still when I come into the room." Sophie leaned on the broom and watched Howl across the room, picking up his guitar.As he put his hand on the latch, she asked, "The red sign leads to Kingsbury, the blue sign leads to Port Sanctuary, so where does the black sign take you?" "Why are you so meddling, old lady!" Hal said, "I can't tell you where that private hiding place leads to me." He opened the door and stepped on the moving fields and mountains. "When are you coming back, Hal?" Mike asked a little desperately.

Hal pretended not to hear."You're not allowed to kill a single spider while I'm gone," he said to Sophie, and the door slammed shut.Mike looked at Calcifer meaningfully and sighed.Calcifer crackled with malicious laughter. No one explained where Howl had gone, and Sophie assumed he was hunting young girls again, and went on working in a fit of righteous indignation.Even when Hal had just finished talking, she didn't care if she hurt the spider.So she banged on the beam with the broom, and cried, "Come out, Spider! Get out of the way!" The spiders fled in disorder, and their webs fell in bundles.Of course she had to sweep the floor again.After sweeping, she knelt down to wipe the floor again.

"I want you to stop!" Mike said, sitting on the stairs to make way for her. Crouching in the fireplace, Calcifer murmured, "I wish I never made that deal with you!" Sophie continued scrubbing vigorously. "You'll be much happier when it's cleaned up," she said. "But I'm in pain now!" Mike protested. Hal didn't come back until late in the day.Sophie was almost immobile from sweeping and mopping.She sat hunched over in a chair, aching all over.Mike grabbed Hal by one of the hanging sleeves and dragged him into the bathroom, where Sophie heard him whimpering and complaining in excited whispers.It's not hard to hear phrases like "terrible old woman" and "can't hear a word" while Calcifer yells, "Hal, stop her! She's killing us both!"

But when Mike let go, all Hal said was, "Have you ever killed a spider?" "Of course not!" Sophie snapped back.Physical pain made her irritable. "They looked at me, looking for their own way. What are they? The hearts of the girls you ate?" Hal laughed. "No. It's just an ordinary spider." After he finished speaking, he went upstairs in a daze. Mike sighed.He searched the broom closet for a long time, found an old folding bed, a straw mattress and some blankets, and put them in the triangular space under the stairs. "You'd better sleep here tonight," he said to Sophie.

"Does that mean Howl asked me to stay?" Sophie asked. "I don't know!" Mike said angrily. "Hal promises nothing. I was here six months before he noticed me and took me on as an apprentice. I just figured a bed would be better than a chair." "Thank you so much," said Sophie gratefully.The bed was of course much more comfortable than a chair, and it was convenient for Sophie to get up and give Calcifer a piece of wood when he was hungry at night. In the next few days, Sophie tirelessly cleaned the castle.She was really enjoying herself.She told herself she was looking for clues, cleaned the windows, cleaned the leaky sink, and had Mike clear out everything on the workbench and shelves so she could scrub.She took everything out of the broom cupboard, got everything off the beams, and cleaned it.She imagined that the skull had suffered for as long as Mike had.It keeps being moved around.She nailed an old sheet to the beam nearest the fireplace, forcing Calcifer to bow her head so she could sweep the chimney.Calcifer hated it.Calcifer crackled gleefully as the house ended up with soot all over the house and had to be cleaned again.That's Sophie's problem.She's rock solid, but lacks method.But there was a good reason to be obsessive about it: she figured that if the place was cleaned up, sooner or later, Howl would find a girl's soul hidden, or a chewed heart, or something else that would explain Calcifer's behavior. Contractual.She found the tall chimney, guarded by Calcifer, to be a good hiding place.But there was nothing there but a lot of soot, which Sophie bagged and threw into the yard.The yard is a very likely hiding spot. Every time Hal came in, Mike and Calcifer complained loudly about Sophie.But Hal didn't seem to care.He didn't seem to notice that the house was getting cleaner either.He didn't even notice that the pantry had become more orderly, full of cakes, jams, and the occasional lettuce. As Mike predicted, word spread in Port Sanctuary.People came to see Sophie.They called her Mrs. Witch in Port Shelter, Mrs. Sorcerer in Kingsbury.Although the people of Kingsbury were much more modestly dressed than the people of Port Shelter, people everywhere would have the right excuse to visit such a powerful figure.So Sophie had to stop what she was doing to smile back, accept a gift, or ask Mike to quickly concoct a spell.Some gifts are nice—paintings, strings of seashells, useful aprons.Sophie, who wore an apron every day and hung shells and pictures in the cozy nest under the stairs, soon felt quite at home. Sophie knew she would miss it when Howl kicked her out.She was getting more and more worried that he would really do it.She knew he couldn't ignore her forever. Next she cleaned the bathroom.It took her several days, because Hal had to stay inside for quite a while before going out each day.As soon as he was gone, Sophie rushed in, filled with steam and fragrant spells. "We're going to see that deed!" she whispered over the tub, but her main target, of course, was the shelves full of boxes and jars and test tubes.Under the guise of scrubbing the shelves, she removed each one, and then spent the better part of the day examining to see if the containers labeled "Skin," "Eyes," and "Hair" actually contained pieces of the girl.From what she could see, they were nothing but creams, powders, and powders.It occurred to Sophie that if they had been girls, then Howl must have used "corrosion" test tubes, let them rot thoroughly, and rinsed them all out of the washbasin.But she wishes they were just cosmetics in a box. She put the things back on the shelf and scrubbed.That night, as she sat down with a sore back, Calcifer muttered that he had drained a hot spring for her. "Where's the hot spring?" Sophie asked.She's curious about everything these days. "Mostly under the Port Haven swamp," Calcifer said, "but if you keep doing this, I'll have wasteland to draw water. When will you stop sweeping and figure out a way to break my bond?" "Wait until the right time." Sophie said, "How can I get the contract when Hal is not around like this? Does he always go out and never come back?" "Only when courting a lady," Calcifer said. The bathroom was clean and shiny, and Sophie scrubbed the stairs and the upstairs landing.Then she attacked Mike's little front room.When things got to this point, Mike had to accept Sophie worriedly, as if a catastrophe was imminent.Suddenly he gave a cry of terror, and ran up the stairs to save his most precious possession.They were packed in an old box under his moth-eaten cot.As he hurriedly escorted the box away, Sophie caught a glimpse of the blue ribbons and sugar roses inside, covered with letters. "So Mike has a sweetheart!" she said to herself, pushing open the window--it looked out onto Port Shelter--and hanging his quilt on the sill to dry.She didn't ask Mike who his sweetheart was, or how he protected her from Hal's nose.Sophie was surprised she didn't continue the grilling, given how nice she had been lately. She swept out so much dust and trash from Mike's room that it nearly drowned Calcifer when it burned. "You'll kill me! You're as heartless as Hal!" Calcifer choked.All he showed was green hair and a long blue forehead. Mike put his treasure box in the drawer of the workbench and locked it. "I wish Hal would listen to us!" he said. "How did this girl keep him up so long?" Sophie tries to start work in the backyard the next day.But it was raining in Port Shelter that day, and it slapped on the windows and slapped on the chimney, making Calcifer hiss distraughtly.The yard also belonged to the house in Port Shelter, so it was pouring rain when Sophie opened the door.She wrapped her head in her apron and rummaged a bit, and found a bucket of paint and a large brush before she was completely soaked.She moved things into the house and started painting the walls.She found an old four-leg ladder in the broom cupboard, and she painted the ceiling between the beams.It had rained for two days in a row in Port Shelter, but when Hal turned the green marker down and went up the hill, the sky was clear outside, and the cloud shadows were running fast over the heather, much faster than the castle.Sophie painted her little comfort zone, the stairs, the landing, and Mike's room. "What's the situation here?" Hal asked when he entered the door on the third day, "It seems to be much brighter." "Sophie," Mike said in a dying voice. "I should have guessed it," Hal said, disappearing into the bathroom. "He noticed!" Mike and Calcifer whispered. "The girl must have surrendered in the end!" The next day, it was still drizzling in Port Shelter.Sophie put on her turban, rolled up her sleeves, and wrapped her apron.She grabbed a long broom, a bucket, and soap, and as soon as Hal was out, she began to clean up Hal's bedroom like an avenging angel. She saved that room for last, fearing what she might find out.She didn't even dare to peek inside.This is silly, she thought, as she staggered up the stairs.It was clear to her now that Calcifer was in charge of all the strong magic at the castle, Mike was doing the rest, and Howl was hanging around hunting girls, exploiting those two like Fanny exploited her.Sophie never found Howl particularly scary.Now there is only contempt for him. She climbed up the platform and found Howl standing in the bedroom doorway.He lazily propped up one hand, completely blocking her way. "Don't do it," he said rather kindly. "I want it dirty, thank you." Sophie stared at him dumbfounded. "Where did you come from? I saw you go out." "I let you see it on purpose," Hal said, "you've done enough to Calcifer and poor Mike. You're clearly going to fuck me today. No matter what Calcifer told you, I But a wizard. You don't think I can do magic?" Now Sophie's hypothesis was overturned.She would rather die than admit it. "Everyone knows you are a wizard, young man," she said gravely. "But that doesn't change the fact that your castle is the dirtiest place I've ever seen." She peered into the room over Howl's dangling silver-blue sleeve.The carpet was a mess like a bird's nest.She caught a glimpse of the mottled and peeling walls, and a stack of books, some of which looked strange.No hint of a gnawed heart, but those were likely behind or under the big four-poster bed.The gray-white curtain hanging on the bed was covered with dust, preventing her from seeing the scene outside the window. Hal waved his sleeves in front of her. "Hey, don't mind your own business." "I'm not meddling!" Sophie defended herself. "That room—!" "You're just meddling," Hal said. "You're a very good, very bossy, clean old woman. Restrain yourself. You're making us all suffer." "But it's a pigsty here," said Sophie. "I can't help it!" "You've got to get it under control," Hal said, "and I like my room the way it is. I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want, don't you deny that. Go downstairs and find something else to do." .Please. I don't like to argue with people." Sophie had no choice but to pick up the bucket and stagger down the stairs clattering all the way.She trembled a little, surprised Howl hadn't thrown her out of the castle on the spot.She opened the door by the stairs and saw that the drizzle had almost stopped, so she went out into the yard refreshed and began to struggle to sort through the dripping piles of waste. Bang a metal crash!Howl staggered and reappeared in the middle of the mass of rusted iron that Sophie was about to move. "Don't touch here either," he said. "You're a saboteur, aren't you? Don't touch this yard. I know what's where, and if you keep it that tidy, I won't be able to find the ingredients I need for my transference spell." gone." Well, there might well be a packet of souls or a box of chewed hearts hidden somewhere here, Sophie thought.She was really frustrated. "I'm here to get tidy!" she yelled at Hal. "Then you have to find a new purpose for your life," Hal said.For a moment he seemed angry too, staring at Sophie with strange light-colored eyes.But he restrained himself, and said, "Get in the house quickly, you restless old fellow. Find something else to do while I'm not angry. I don't like to be angry." Sophie crossed her bony arms.She didn't like being stared at by glass bead eyes. "Of course you don't like getting angry!" she retorted. "You don't like anything that makes you uncomfortable, do you? You're a yo king, that's all you have! If there's anything you don't like, you just run away!" Hal smiled slightly. "Come on," he said, "now we know each other's faults. Go back to the house. Come on. Go back." He urged Sophie, waving her in the direction of the door.His waving sleeve caught on the corner of the rusted iron, jerked it, and tore it. "Damn it!" Hal blurted out, holding up his drooping silver-blue cuffs, "Look at what you've done to me!" "I can mend," said Sophie. Howl looked at her blankly. "Here you go again," he said, "you must love to do drudgery!" He gently grasped the torn sleeve with the fingers of his right hand and stroked it.There is no trace of tearing at all. "See," he said, "get it?" Sophie staggered back into the house, much better.Wizards certainly don't have to do things the usual way.Howl had proved to her that he was a real wizard. "Why didn't he kick me out?" she asked half to herself and half to Mike. "I don't know for sure," Mike said, "but I think he's measured by Calcifer. Most people come here and either don't notice Calcifer, or they're terrified of him."