Chapter 2 May all go well with you

No one expected Grace to be working the last Friday before the wedding.In fact, no one made her work whether she wanted to or not. In the cellophane box next to the typewriter was a white gardenia firework, a gift from the boss, Mr. Atwood, and together with the firework, there was an envelope with a ten-dollar gift certificate wrapped inside.Atwood had always been polite to her, ever since she had kissed Mr. Atwood passionately at the firm's Christmas party.When Grace came into his office to say thank you, he hunched over, making desk drawers rattle, blushing so flushed that he could hardly look her in the eye.

"Oh, it's nothing, Grace," he said, "I'm flattered. Here, you need a pin to put that on?" "It comes with a brooch," she said, holding up the flower. "See? It's a beautiful white brooch." He happily watched Grace pin the flowers high on her collar, then cleared her throat heavily, dragged out the clipboard under the table, and prepared to explain her work this morning, only dictated two short messages to let her know. She prints it out.But an hour later, when Grace saw him handing over a stack of tapes to the typing center, she realized that he had taken care of her.

"It's very kind of you, Mr. Atwood," she said, "but if I think there's work to be done today, you should assign it to me, as usual..." "Ah, Grace," he said. "You only get married once." The girls crowded around her desk, chattering and laughing, looking at pictures of Ralph again and again ("Oh, he's so cute!"), and the office was buzzing.The office manager stood by, very nervous, not wanting to spoil their interest too much, but still reminded uneasily that, after all, today is still a working day. At lunch, Schlaft & Associates had a traditional little party—nine women: married and unmarried.The cocktails they seldom drank usually made them dizzy. They recalled the time they used to be together and scrambled to express their good wishes to her.There were also many flowers, and a present—a silver fruit bowl, which the girls had chipped in to buy.

Grace kept saying "thank you", "I'm so grateful", "I don't even know what to say", so that these words kept echoing in her mind, and the corners of her mouth hurt from laughing, she felt This afternoon seems to never end. About four o'clock Ralph called, sounding very cheerful. "What are you doing, baby?" he asked, and before she could answer, he added, "Listen, guess what I got?" "I don't know. A gift or something? Something?" She tried to sound excited, but it wasn't easy. "Bonus. Fifty dollars." She seemed to be able to see his flattened lips when he said "fifty dollars". The seriousness could only be seen when he said the amount of money.

"Oh, well, Ralph," she said.If there was a trace of weariness in her tone, he didn't notice it. "All right, isn't it?" he said, laughing, imitating the way the girls said the word. "Do you like it, huh? No, but I mean I was really surprised, you know? The boss said 'here, Ralph' and he handed me this envelope. There was no expression on his face, not even a hint of No smiles. I thought, what's going on? Am I fired, or something? He said 'Open it, Ralph, open it.' I opened it, and when I looked at him again, he Grinning a mile wide," he chuckled, and sighed, "Okay, listen, baby. What time do you want me to come over tonight?"

"Oh, I don't know. As soon as possible, I suppose." "Well, look, I have to go to Eddie's to pick up the bag he lent me, so I'll probably go like this: go to his place first, then go home to eat, then go to your place at about eight-thirty or nine. OK ?" "Okay," she said. "See you then, darling." It wasn't long before she called him "darling," and it was only after she decided to marry him that the word sounded so foreign.As she cleared the pile of office supplies on her desk (she had nothing else to do), a familiar panic seized her: she couldn't marry him—she didn't know him at all.Sometimes, on the contrary, she felt unable to marry him because she knew him too well.In either case, she was undecided, and what her roommate Martha said was still affecting her. "He's hilarious," Martha said after their first date. "He said 'satellite room.' I didn't know anyone actually said 'satellite room.'" Grace giggled, thinking it was really funny.She thought Martha was right at the time—indeed, it seemed she had no luck at the time to find a girl like Martha in a New York Times ad column as a roommate.

But Ralph pursued Grace persistently all summer, and by the fall Grace began to side with him. "Why don't you like him, Martha? He's really nice." "Oh, everyone's very nice, Grace," Martha said in her preppy tone, which can make the absurd sound plausible.She was carefully varnishing her nails when she looked up, looking away from her beautifully painted fingernails, "He's one of those kind of— kind of white bugs. You know?" "I don't know what it has to do with his skin color..." "Oh, God, you know what I mean. Don't you see what I'm talking about? Oh, his friends, his Eddie, his Marty, and his George, and their kind stingy, poor clerk life, their kind of stingy, poor...they're all the same, those people. They'll say, 'Well, how's your Giants?' or 'Hey, your Yankees What?' They all live far out of town in Sunnyside or Woodhaven or some filthy place, and the mothers keep little goddamn china elephants on the mantelpieces," said Martha. She frowns again and paints her nails, making it clear that this conversation is over.

Grace was lost that fall and into winter.For a while she tried to only go out with the kind of guy Martha described—the kind of guy who always used words like “fun” and always wore narrow-shouldered flannel jackets like a uniform; She won't go on a date.She even did that crazy thing to Mr. Atwood at the firm's Christmas party.And Ralph has been calling her, hanging around her house, waiting for her to make a decision.Once she took him home to Pennsylvania (she never could have imagined what it would be like to bring Martha home), met her parents, but she didn't finally accept him until Easter.

The American Legion in Queens used to hold big dances, and Ralph's gang used to go there, and they went there.When the band played "Easter Parade," Ralph hugged Grace so tightly that she could barely move, humming the melody softly in his ear.She had never expected Ralph to act like this--so sweet and tender--and it was likely that she hadn't decided to marry him then, but at least she had started to think about it since then.That moment when Grace swayed in his hoarse chant through her hair, as if at that moment she decided to commit herself: "I'm so lucky when they look at you I'm the last in the Easter parade Proud man..."

That night, she told Martha, and she still clearly remembers the look on Martha's face. "Oh, Grace, you're not...you must not be serious. I mean, I think he's just a joke...you don't really say you want to..." "Shut up! Stop it, Martha!" she cried all night.She hated Martha now for that; even now, staring blankly at the row of filing cabinets against the wall, she thought in horror: Maybe Martha was right.She was startled by the girls' giggles and saw two girls—Irene and Ruth—grinning over the typewriter and pointing at her. "We see you!" Erin sings. "We saw you! Lost again, huh, Grace?" Ruth also hilariously imitated her distracted look, puffing out her flat chest and blinking, and they laughed all over the place.

Grace regained her composure and regained her innocent and cheerful bride appearance.What to do now is to think about the next arrangement. Tomorrow morning, "early morning," as Mama said, she would meet Ralph at Penn Station and go home together.They will arrive at about one o'clock, and their parents will pick them up at the station. "Nice to meet you, Ralph!" Dad would say, and Mom might kiss him.A warm and cozy family atmosphere surrounded her: they wouldn't call him White Worm; they wouldn't know any Princeton men, "interesting" men, or any other type of man that Martha spoke so pompously.Dad would probably take Ralph out for a beer, show Ralph the paper mill where he worked (and at least Ralph didn't look down on people who worked in the paper mill), and in the evening, Ralph's family and friends would Came here from New York. In the evening she would have time for a good chat with her mother, and the next morning, "early morning" (Grace's eyes sting at the thought of her mother's simple, happy face), they would put on their wedding dresses.Then a church ceremony, then booze (Will Daddy get drunk? Will Muriel Keche be mad at not being a bridesmaid?), and finally, they'll take the train to Atlanta, where they'll stay in a hotel.But since the hotel, she can no longer make plans.The door closed behind her, leaving a mad, unreal silence, and there was no one in the world but Ralph to show her the way. "Now, Grace," said Mr. Atwood, "I wish you eternal happiness." He stood by her table, hat and dress, and the sound of setting tables and chairs around said five o'clock. "Thank you, Mr. Atwood." She stood up, and suddenly the girls gathered around, and they rushed to say good-bye to her. "Good luck, Grace." "Send us a card, huh, Grace? From Atlanta." "Goodbye, Grace." "Good night, Grace, and listen: all the best." Finally, Grace finally got rid of them, got out of the elevator, out of the building, through the crowd, and hurried to the subway. When they got home, Martha stood at the kitchen door, looking slim in a new elegant dress. "Hey, Grace. I bet they almost ate you alive today, didn't they?" "Oh, it's all right," Grace said. "Everyone's—very nice." She sat down, exhausted, and threw the flowers and the wrapped fruit bowl on the table.At this time, she found that the whole room had been cleaned and wiped, and the kitchen was cooking. "Yo, it's all so well," she cried. "why are you doing this?" "Oh, well. I'm going home early," said Martha, smiling, and Goyce had rarely seen her so shy as she was today. "I just want the room to look presentable when Ralph comes over." "Oh," said Grace, "it's very kind of you." Martha looks a bit startling now: she looks embarrassed, turning a greasy spatula on her head, keeping a careful distance from her new dress, and staring at it as if something Words are hard to say. "Look, Grace," she began. "You know why I can't come to your wedding, right?" "Oh, of course," said Grace, not really knowing, not at all.It seemed like she had to meet her brother at Harvard before he joined the army, but at first it sounded like a lie. "I just hate it when you think—well, anyway, I'm glad you understand why I can't go. There's one more thing I want to say." "what?" "Well, I'm sorry for the bad things I said about Ralph before. I don't have a right to say that to you. He's a very sweet boy, and I—well, I'm sorry, that's all." Grace felt a burst of gratitude and relief that she couldn't hide, and she said, "Oh, it's nothing, Martha, I..." "The steak is burnt!" Martha turned and rushed back to the kitchen. "It's all right," she cried. "It's still edible." When she came out to arrange the meals, she returned to her usual demeanor. "I've got to eat fast, and I've got to run when I'm done," she said when they sat down. "My train leaves in forty minutes." "I thought you were leaving tomorrow." "Well, it was supposed to be tomorrow," said Martha, "but I decided to go tonight. Because you see, Grace, there's one more thing—if you'll take one more apology—I'm sorry You and Ralph were never given a chance to be alone together. So I'm going to disappear tonight," she said hesitantly. "Just take this as my wedding present, okay?" She smiled, not a shy smile this time, but a smile that was more in line with her nature—the eyes shifted subtly after a meaningful blink. opened.Grace had long associated this smile with the word "sophisticated" through stages of doubt, bewilderment, awe, actual imitation. "Oh, you're so cute," Grace said, but she didn't really understand what Martha was referring to.It wasn't until after eating, washing the dishes, and after Martha put on makeup like a bird, said goodbye quickly with her luggage, and went to catch the train, that she understood a little bit. She put a big tank of water, took a bubble bath in a dazed way, and spent a long time drying her body, and posed various poses in front of the mirror, a strange excitement slowly sprouting in her heart.In the bedroom, she took out her favorite transparent white nylon pajamas and a matching suspender nightdress from the expensive white gift box and the pile of tulle clothes she prepared for the wedding. After putting them on, she went to the mirror again.She had never dressed like this before, never felt like this, and thinking that Ralph would see her dressed like this later, she couldn't help but went to the kitchen and drank a glass of dry sherry. For cocktail parties.Then she left one light, turned off the rest, took the cup, went to the sofa, and nestled in the sofa waiting for him to come.After a while, she stood up again, brought the sherry bottle and put it on the coffee table, where she also placed a tray and a glass. Ralph felt vaguely disappointed as he left the office.In any case, he was looking forward to the Friday before the wedding.The bonus check was alright (although he secretly wished it had been doubled), and the boys in the office bought him a bottle of wine over lunch and made measured jokes ("Oh, don't be sad, Ralph— Worse is yet to come"), but there should be a real party.Not just the lads in the office, but Eddie, all friends should have something to show for it.And now it's just going to meet Eddie at the White Rose, like any other night of the year, and then drive back to Eddie's house to get his bag, and eat, and drive all the way back to Manhattan, to see Grace, at her Stay for an hour or two.Eddie wasn't there when he got to the bar, which made him feel even more lonely and aching.He drank his beer gloomily and waited for Eddie. Eddie was his best friend, the ideal good man, because he was the one who wanted to woo Grace in the first place.It was in this bar that Ralph told him about their first date last year: "Oh, Eddie—what a big couple!" And Eddie grinned, "Really? What does that roommate of hers look like?" "Ah, you ain't gonna like that roommate, Eddie. That roommate's a slob and a snob, I suppose. But this, this little Gracie—man, I mean, devil's body!" Half the fun of every date—or even more—comes from talking to Eddie afterward, and from time to time, embellishing, bragging, asking Eddie for ideas on how to proceed.But henceforth, this, and many other pleasures, will be left behind.Grace had promised him that after she got married, she could play with his group of friends at least one day a week.But even then, everything changed.Girls don't understand such a thing as friendship. The TV in the bar was showing a baseball game, and he watched boredly, his throat a little swollen and sore from the sentimental pain of loss.He had devoted almost his entire life to the friendship of men, trying to be a good company, and now the best years of his life were over. Finally Eddie said hello by poking his bum with his stiff fingers. "What are you doing, buddy?" Ralph grew disgusted, narrowed his eyes, and turned slowly. "What's the matter with you, Slick? Going the wrong way?" "What are you—what's the hurry?" Eddie barely moved his lips as he spoke. "Can't you wait for two minutes?" He sat lazily on the high stool, turned half a circle, and said to the waiter, "Jack, give me a drink." They drank and stared at the TV without saying a word. "A little bonus today," said Ralph. "Fifty dollars." "Really?" Eddie said. "nice." Three strikes out on TV; the inning ends and the commercials begin. "So?" Eddie said, shaking the beer in his glass. "Still planning to get married?" "Why not?" Ralph shrugged. "Listen, can you drink quickly? After drinking this glass, I want to go." "Wait, wait. What are you in a hurry for?" "Come on, will you?" Ralph got up impatiently and left the bar. "I want to get your bag." "Ah, bag. Isn't it just a bag?" Ralph turned back and stared at him furiously. "Listen, slippery. Nobody's forcing you to borrow my damn bag, you know. I don't want to break your heart or anything..." "Okay, okay, okay. Go get the bag. Take it easy." Eddie finished his beer and wiped his mouth. "Let's go." Borrowing Eddie's bag for the honeymoon was a pain in Ralph's heart; he'd rather buy it himself.In the window of the leather bag shop they passed every night on the subway, there was a big one, brown, with a layer of zippers on each side, thirty-nine dollars and ninety-five cents—Ralph since Easter I took a fancy to it. “I want to buy it,” he tells Eddie casually, as casually as the day he announced his engagement (“I want to marry that girl”).Both times Eddie's reaction was the same: "Are you... crazy?" Both times Ralph said, "So what?" He also justified the bag: "I'm married and I need something like this . ” From then on, it seemed that the bag was Grace herself, a symbol of the new and luxurious life he pursued.But after paying for the ring, the new clothes, and all the other expenses, he finally found out he couldn't afford it anymore; he had to borrow it from Eddie, both bags looked the same, but Eddie's was much worse, much older, and much worse. There is no zipper. Now that they were passing the bag store again, he stopped and had an impulsive thought. "Hey, wait, Eddie. Know what I want to do with fifty bucks? I'm going to buy this bag." His breath came out a little. "Are you... crazy? Forty bucks for a bag you don't use once a year? You're crazy, Ralph. Go away." "Ah... I don't know. What do you think?" "Listen, you better keep your money, man. You'll need it later." "Ah...well," said Ralph at last. "I think you're right." He caught up with Eddie, heading for the subway.Things have always been like this in his life; he can only have a bag like that if he gets a more decent salary, he admits - just like he can only get his bride if he gets married, a fact he can only accept unconditionally , Thinking of this, he sighed in a low voice for the first time in his life. The subway swallowed them up, rattled, wobbled, and lost their minds for half an hour before spitting them out into the cool Queens dusk.They took off their coats, loosened their ties, and let the evening wind dry their sweaty shirts from their walk. "So what do we do?" Eddie asked. "When shall we show up in little rural Pennsylvania tomorrow?" "Oh, whatever you want," said Ralph. "Anytime in the evening." "What are we going to do when we get there? What can you do in that bloody little village, huh?" "I don't know," Ralph said defensively. "I guess just sit around and talk; have a beer with Grace's dad, or something; I don't know." "My God," Eddie said. "After that you'll have to go every now and then on the weekends. It's really hard on you." Ralph stopped on the sidewalk in a sudden fit of rage, his slightly damp coat rolled up in his hands. "Hey, you bastard. You weren't invited, you know—you, Marty, or George, whoever you are. I got my point across, and I don't need your favors, do you?" "What's the matter with you?" Eddie asked. "What's the matter with you? Can't you make a joke?" "Just kidding," said Ralph. "You've got a lot of jokes to tell." He followed Eddie step by step, so angry that he felt like he was on the verge of tears. They turned into the neighborhood where they had lived for many years. There were two identical rows of identical houses along the street, where they fought, hung out, played hockey, and grew up together.Eddie pushed open the front door of his house, urging Ralph to hurry, and the family smell of broccoli and galoshes on the porch hit him. "Come in," he said, pointing his thumb toward the closed living room, then turned sideways, beckoning Ralph to go in first. Ralph opened the door and took three steps in, stunned as if he had been punched on the jaw.The room was silent, crowded with grinning red-faced men—Marty, George, all the lads on the block, the lads from the office—everyone, all their friends, stood there, motionless.The thin Maguire stood in front of the upright piano with his waist bowed, his fingers spread out and hanging above the keys. When he hit the first cheerful chord, the singing roared out, and everyone clenched their hands into fists and beat the time. The mouth is wide open, and the singing is out of tune: "He is a broken (happy) ha (good) young (boy) he is a broken (happy) ha (good) young (boy) he is a broken (quick) (quick) ) happy ha (good) - no one can deny the little queen (boy)!" Ralph could barely stand, stepped back and stood on the carpet, eyes wide open, swallowing, coat still in hand. "No one can deny it!" they were still singing, "No one can deny it!" Just as everyone was about to start the second verse, Eddie's bald father came beaming from behind the kitchen curtain, singing, Holding a jug of beer in each hand.Finally, the thin man slammed the last line on the keyboard: "No-is-person-can-deny-confess!" Then they all rushed to Ralph, cheering, grabbing his hands, patting his arms and his back, and Ralph stood trembling, his voice lost in the uproar. "Oh guys... thanks. I...don't know what to say... thanks guys..." At this time the crowd split in two, and Eddie walked slowly into the middle, with a loving smile in his eyes, a little cramped with a travel bag in one hand—it wasn't his bag, but a brand new one: , tan Gladstone duffle bag with layer zippers on both sides. "Say something!" they shouted. "Say a few words! Say a few words!" But Ralph couldn't say anything, couldn't laugh.He can't even see anything. It's ten o'clock, and Grace starts biting her lip and walking up and down the room.What if Ralph doesn't come?But of course he will come.She sat down again, trying to calm herself down by carefully smoothing the creases in the nylon skirt around her thighs.If she gets too nervous, the whole thing will be ruined. When the doorbell rang, she was shocked as if she had been electrocuted.Halfway there when she went to open the door, she stopped again, took a deep breath, and after calming down, she pressed the door lock, and the door opened a crack, watching him go upstairs. She saw Ralph going upstairs with his bag, and she saw him pale and serious.She thought he knew at first; he locked the door when he was ready to go in, and pulled her into his arms. "Hi, honey," she said softly, opening the door a little wider. "Hi, baby." He swept past her like a gust of wind and entered the room. "I'm late, huh? Are you asleep?" "No." She closed the door, leaned her back on the door, and folded her hands behind her back, holding the doorknob. This is the usual closing posture of the heroine in the movie. "I'm just...waiting for you." Without looking at her, he went straight to the sofa, sat down, put the travel bag under his knees, and kept stroking it with his hands. "Gracey," he said, almost in a whisper. "Look at this." She looked at it, and then into his sad eyes. "Remember," he said, "I told you I wanted to buy a bag like this? Forty bucks?" He stopped and looked around. "Hey, where's Martha? Is she asleep?" "She's gone, honey," Grace said, moving slowly to the couch. "She's gone, she's been away all weekend." She sits next to him, leaning closer and giving him a special Martha smile. "Oh, is it?" he said. "Okay then, listen. I said I wasn't buying it and borrowed it from Eddie, remember?" "Ok." "So, tonight, at the White Rose, I said, 'Come on, Eddie, let's go, go get your bag at your house.' And he said, 'Oh, it's just a bag.' I said , 'What's going on?' But he didn't say anything, you know? So we went to his house, his living room door was closed, you know?" She curled up tighter and moved closer to him, resting her head on his chest.He naturally raised one hand, put it around her shoulder, and continued. "He said, 'Come on, Ralph, open the door.' I said, 'What the hell?' He said, 'Nothing, Ralph, open the door.' So I pushed the door open, oh my god Ah." His fingers gripped her shoulders so hard that she looked up at him in fear. "They're all there, Gracie," he said. "All the guys. Playing the piano, singing, cheering—" His voice is a little shaky, his eyes are closed, and his eyelashes are wet. "An unexpected big party," he said, trying to smile. "For me. What a surprise, Gracie! And then--and Eddie comes along--Eddie comes up and hands me this bag, exactly like the one I've been eyeing for a while. He bought it with his own money, and he didn't say anything, he just wanted to surprise me. 'Here you are, Ralph,' he said. 'I just want you to know you're the best guy in the world.' '” His hands clenched again, still trembling. "I cried, Grace," he whispered. "I couldn't help it. I don't think they guys saw it, but I actually cried." He turned his face away, biting his lip hard to keep the tears from falling. "Would you like something to drink, dear?" she asked softly. "Well, it's nothing, Gracie, I'm fine." He gently put the travel bag on the carpet, "But give me a cigarette, will you?" She took a cigarette from the coffee table, put it in his mouth, and lit it for him. "I'll get you a drink," she said. He frowned in the smoke. "What wine do you have, sherry? No, I don't want that stuff. Besides, I've got a stomach full of beer." He leaned back on the sofa and closed his eyes. "Then Eddie's mom made us a nice table," he continued, his voice almost normal. "We had steak and French fries"—his head rested on the couch, turning every time he said the name of a dish, "lettuce and tomato salad, pickles, bread, butter...everything." "Okay," she said. "Isn't that beautiful." "And then we had ice cream and coffee," he said. "We opened our stomachs and drank as much beer as we could. I mean, it was a big meal." Grace ran her hands along her thighs, half to smooth the wrinkles in the nylon, half to dry the sweat from her palms. "Oh, they're so nice," she said.They sat there quietly for what seemed like a long time. "I can only stay for a while, Grace," said Ralph at last. "I promise them I'll return it." Her heart was pounding under her nylon nightgown. "Ralph, do you—do you like this?" "What, baby?" "My nightgown. I wasn't going to show you it until after the wedding, but I thought I—" "Nice," he said like a businessman, twisting the gauze-like thing with his thumb and forefinger. "Fine. How much did it cost you, honey?" "Oh—I don't know. But do you like it?" He kissed her and finally started to touch her with his hands. "Very well," he went on. "Fine. Hey, I like the dress." His hand hesitated at the neckline, slipped into the pajamas, and took hold of her breasts. "I do love you, Ralph," she whispered. "You know that, don't you?" His fingers kneaded her nipples once, then slid out quickly again.Months of injunction, the habit was too strong for him to break. "Of course," he said. "I love you too, baby. Now be a good girl, get a good night's sleep, and see you tomorrow morning. Okay?" "Oh, Ralph. Don't go, stay." "Ah, I promised those guys, Gracie." He stood up and straightened his clothes. "They're waiting for me and they haven't come home." She jumped to her feet and let out a cry, the voice from her tightly closed lips, the plaintive cry of a woman, a wife: "Can't they wait?" "Are you—are you crazy?" He took a few steps back, his eyes wide open, with a natural expression.She should understand, damn it, if she was like this before getting married, will she still have it after getting married? "Have you any conscience, huh? Keeping them waiting tonight? After all they've done for me?" For a second or two, her face seemed not as beautiful as he thought it was before.But then a smile appeared on her face again, "Of course not. Honey, you're right." He came forward, stroked her chin gently with his hand, and made a husband's promise with a smile. "That's right," he said. "I'll meet you at Penn Station at nine tomorrow morning. Okay, Gracie? Just before I go—" He blinked and patted his belly. "I'm full of beer. Mind if I use your satellite?" When he came out of the bathroom, she stood in the doorway waiting to say goodnight, arms folded across her chest as if for warmth.He cutely picked up his new travel bag, shook it, and stood at the door. "Okay, then, honey," he said, kissing her, "nine o'clock. Don't forget." She smiled wearily and opened the door for him. "Don't worry, Ralph," she said. "I'll be there."

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Notes: