Chapter 27 Chapter 26
The night before Sophia was due to start her new university life in Athens.Her box only needs to be transported to the port a few hundred meters away and loaded on the ferry.Its next stop, like hers, was three hundred kilometers to the north, the capital of Greece.Sophia's determination to spread her wings was as much an anxiety fear as the distance brought her.Earlier in the day, she had almost wanted to take everything out: clothes, books, pens, alarm clock, radio, photos, and put them back where they belonged.It is difficult to leave the familiar and go into the strange, and she sees Athens as a gateway to adventure or disaster.Eighteen-year-old Sophia couldn't imagine any other possibility.The thought of being homesick later made her miserable, but there was no turning back.At six o'clock she went out to meet her friends and say good-bye to those she was leaving.That can also alleviate some of the anxiety.
It was eleven o'clock when Sophia came home and found her father pacing up and down the room.The mother sat on the edge of the chair, her hands were clenched tightly, her knuckles turned white, and every muscle in her face was tensed.
"Are you still awake? I'm sorry I'm late." Sophia said, "But you don't have to wait for me."
"Sophia, we want to talk to you," my father said softly.
"Why don't you sit down," suggested the mother.
Sophia immediately became uneasy.
"Looks a little formal," she said, sitting in a chair.
"We thought there was one or two things you should know before you go to Athens tomorrow," said the father.
Now the mother took it again.After all, most of it is her story.
"Don't know where to begin," she said, "but there are a few things we want to tell you about our family..."
They told her everything that night, just as Fotini had told Alexis.Sophia revealed so many secrets for her without the slightest suspicion or precautions.She saw herself standing on a high mountain, with thousands of years of secrets under her feet, and the rocks were layered on top of each other, each layer becoming harder and harder.They hid everything from her, like a conspiracy.Dozens of people, Sophia recalled, must have known her mother had been killed, and everyone had kept silent all these years.What about the speculation and rumors that followed?Maybe people who knew her whispered behind her back as she passed: "Poor girl. Wonder if she'll ever find out who her father is?" She could imagine the gossip, the whispers about leprosy. whisper. "Think," they must say, "that she has not one but two lepers in her family!" She had grown up happily all these years, completely unaware of the shame she carried. .A disfiguring disease, an immoral mother, a murderous father.She was in total shock.Her previous ignorance was a blessing in disguise.
She never doubted that she was not the life of the two people sitting in front of her.Why does she want to think this way?She always thought she looked like both Maria and Crittis, even everyone said so.But she had no blood relationship with the man she always called Papa, no more than a casual passer-by on the street.There is no doubt that she loves her parents, but now that they are not her parents, will her feelings for them be different?Within an hour her whole life changed, the past disappeared behind her, and when she looked back, there was nothing but emptiness.Blank.nothingness.
She listened to this in silence, disgusted.It never occurred to her how Mariah and Kritis might feel, what made them come and tell her the truth after so long.No, this was her story, her life, they made up.She is angry.
"Why didn't you tell me before?!" she screamed.
"We want to protect you." Kritis said firmly, "It didn't seem necessary to tell you before."
"We love you like your own parents," Maria begged.
Maria was desperate enough to lose her only child because she was going to college, but it was even more frustrating to see this girl standing in front of her and looking at her like a stranger, a child who no longer regarded her as a child. Maria became a mother.It had long since mattered little that Sophia was not their flesh and blood, and as the years passed they loved her all the more for their own inability to bear children.
However, at this moment, Sophia only sees them as a pair who cheated on her.She is eighteen years old, irrational, and bent on creating a future according to her own ideas, creating a future that she can control.Her anger turned into a cold attitude, she controlled her feelings and chilled the hearts of those who loved her most in the world.
"I'll come to see you in the morning," she said, standing up. "The boat leaves at nine."
After speaking, she turned and left.
The next morning, Sophia rose at dawn to pack her luggage one last time, and at eight o'clock she and Krittis loaded it into the car.Neither of them spoke, and the three drove to the pier.When parting, Sophia only made a symbolic farewell.
She kissed them on the cheek.
"Good-bye," she said. "I'll write."
And so she bid farewell, with no promise of reunion any time soon.They believed she would write, but they knew it was useless to expect it.Watching the ferry slowly pull away from the pier, Maria was sure that nothing could be worse in life.People standing around her were waving and saying goodbye to their loved ones, but Sophia was nowhere to be seen.She didn't even show up on deck.
Maria and Kritis stood there until the ship turned into a black spot on the horizon, and then they turned and left.The emptiness is unbearable.
For Sophia, going to Athens allowed her to escape the past, the stigma of leprosy, the uncertainty of parenthood.A few months into her first term, she was ready to write a letter.
The letter said everything and said nothing.They continued to receive descriptive, often warm texts, but little was said of what was on her mind.At the end of the first year, they couldn't say completely, but at least they were bitter and disappointed that Sophia would not be back for the holidays.
Troubled by the past, Sofia decides to look for Manoli in the summer.At first, the search seemed warm, and she found a few leads in Athens, and even a few more elsewhere in Greece.But before long, her leads were broken, for example, at the telephone company and the tax office.She had to knock on the doors of the strangers who also happened to be named Pandoraki; standing awkwardly with each other, Sophia had to briefly explain herself and apologize for disturbing them.Searches like this gradually cool like a rock.She woke up in her hotel in Thessaloniki one morning wondering what the hell she was doing.Even if she finds this man, she is not sure if he is her father.Besides, would she rather have a murderer father who murdered her mother, or an adulterer father who abandoned her?no choice.Shouldn't she put aside these uncertainties of the past and create a future?
In her second year of college, whoever her father was, Sophia met someone who would later become more important in her life than her father.He was an Englishman named Marcus Fielding, and he took a year off from college.Sophia had never met anyone like him.He was big, awkward, pale, and blotchy when shy or hot.Clear blue eyes are rare on this side of Greece.He always seemed to have some British formality.
Marcus never had a real girlfriend.He is always buried in his studies, or too shy to catch up with women.He found the sexual liberation of London in the seventies terrible, while Athens had no such revolution at that time.He met Sophia in a group of students during his first month at the university, and Marcus thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.While she doesn't seem to talk much, she's not unapproachable either.He was surprised when Sophia accepted his invitation.
Within a few weeks they were inseparable, and by the time Marcus was due to return to England, Sophia had decided that she would give up her studies and go with him.
"I have nothing to worry about," she said one evening, "I am an orphan."
When Marcus expressed doubts, she assured him it was true.
"Yes, really, I'm an orphan," she said. "I have aunts and uncles who brought me up, but they're in Crete. They won't mind if I go to London."
She didn't say anything about her upbringing, and Marcus didn't ask any more.But he insisted that they should marry, and Sophia needed no persuasion.She fell in love with this man with all her heart and madly, and was convinced that he would not disappoint her.
On a cold February day, one of those days when the fog doesn't clear by noon, they registered with a south London marriage registry.An invitation, a random invitation, had been sitting on a high shelf over the fireplace in Maria and Nicholas's house for weeks.It was the first time they had seen Sophia since she had departed from their lives.The sharp pain of being abandoned at the beginning hurts the heart and lungs, but after slowly accepting it, it becomes a dull pain.The two of them went to the wedding with a mixture of fear and excitement.
Maria and Nicholas take an immediate liking to Marcus.Sophia couldn't have found a better, more reliable person than Marcus.It reassured them to see her so content, so safe, as they had hoped, even if they thought that it made her return to Crete even less likely.They love British weddings, despite the seeming lack of traditional ceremonies.Apart from a few speeches, it was like a normal party, and the strangest thing was that the bride was wearing a red trouser suit, which was not much different from the guests.Maria, who knew no English at all, was introduced as Sofia's aunt, and Nicholas, who spoke extremely fluent English, became Sofia's uncle.They stayed together all the time, and Kritis was like an interpreter for his wife.
After the wedding, they spent two nights in London, especially Maria, who was confused about the city Sophia had chosen to live in.To her, it was like an alien planet that never stopped beating, the sound of car engines, the sound of monster red buses, the dense crowds passing by the windows of slim models.In this city, even if you are not a tourist but one of them, the chance of bumping into someone you know never really exists.This is the first and last time for Maria to leave her hometown - Crete.
Even with her husband, Sophia has opened up a no-man's-land of secrets and lies.She convinces herself that hiding, not telling something, is not the same as telling a lie.Even when her own child was born—Alexis, their first, born a year after their marriage—she swore never to mention her home in Crete to them.They are to be protected from the knowledge of their roots, never from the shame of the past.
In 1990, at the age of eighty, Dr. Critics passed away.A few short obituaries, less than ten lines long, were published in British newspapers, praising his contribution to leprosy research, and Sophia carefully cut them out and kept them.Although there was almost twenty years between Maria and him in age, Maria only outlived him by five years.Sophia flew to Crete for just two days to attend her aunt's funeral.She is so guilty and saddened by the loss of a loved one.Only then did she realize that the way she left Crete at the age of eighteen many years ago was too selfish and ungrateful, but now it was too late and she could no longer make up for it.It's too late too late.
In this way, Sophia decided to write off her past.She got rid of the few keepsakes from her mother and aunt in the box at the back of her closet, and one afternoon, before the children came home from school, she set fire to a stack of yellow envelopes with Greek postmarks, and put the The back of the photo frame of my aunt and uncle was opened, and a few newspaper clippings were carefully inserted behind the photo, which accurately described her uncle's life in a few sentences.This photograph of their happy past stood beside Sophia's bed, and it was all of her past.
Sophia destroyed all the physical evidence of the past. She wanted to shake it off, but the fear of being discovered ate away at her like a disease. As time went by, she felt guilty for treating her aunt and uncle like that, and this feeling became stronger and stronger. , stuck in her stomach like a stone, she realized that there was no longer any way to remedy it, and sometimes even fell ill with regret.It was only when her own children left home, and the pain of remorse was even worse, that she fully understood that this unforgivable pain was her own making.
Knowing it was best not to ask too many questions, Marcus obeyed Sophia's wishes and avoided mentioning her past, but the children grew up and Crete's features were unmistakable: Alexis, with beautiful black hair. hair; Nick, with black lashes around his eyes.Sophia had always worried that her children would one day find out who their elders were, and the thought made her stomach churn.Looking at Alexis now, Sophia wishes she had been more enlightened.She watched her daughter examine her as if she had never seen her before.It was her own fault.It was she who made herself a stranger to her children and her husband.
"I'm sorry," she said to Alexis, "I've never told you this before."
"But why do you feel so ashamed?" Alexis asked, leaning forward. "This is your story, in a way, but at the same time there's nothing you can do about it."
"These are my blood, Alexis. Lepers, adulterers, murderers—"
"For God's sake, Ma, there are heroes among these people. Take your aunt and uncle—their love endures, and your uncle saved hundreds, if not thousands. And Your grandfather! He is a role model for people today, he never complained, never denied anyone, he just endured the pain silently."
"But what about my mother?"
"Well, I'm glad she's not my mother, but I don't want to blame her entirely. She's weak, but she's always been rebellious, hasn't she? Sounds like she's always had a hard time being like Maria, doing What she should do. That's what she is."
"You're very forgiving, Alexis. She's definitely flawed, but couldn't she try harder to overcome her nature?"
"We all should, I suppose. But not everyone has that kind of strength. It sounds like Manoli took advantage of her weakness in every possible way—like that kind of guy always does."
Their conversation paused.Sophia fiddled with her earrings nervously, as if she wanted to say something, but couldn't.
"But you know who's been worse?" she finally blurted out. "It's me. I've turned my back on these two good people, these two wonderful people. They gave me everything, and I turned them down!"
Alexis was taken aback by her mother's candid confession.
"I just turned my back on them," Sophia repeated. "It's too late to say sorry."
Tears welled up in Sophia's eyes.Alexis had never seen her mother cry.
"You don't have to be so hard on yourself," Alexis whispered, pulling the chair closer and embracing her mother, "if you and Daddy dropped me a bomb like this when I was eighteen, I might as well It will. It is completely understandable that you are so angry and sad."
"But I still feel very guilty. I have been doing this for so many years." She said quietly.
"Well, I don't think you need it now. It's over, Mom," said Alexis, holding her tighter. "Based on everything I've heard about Maria, I think she might forgive you." Didn't you write to each other? Didn't they come to your wedding? I'm sure Maria won't hold a grudge—I don't think she's a grudge."
"I hope you're right," Sophia said, trying to hold back tears, her voice hard to hear.She looked at the small island in the distance and slowly regained her composure.
Fotini listened quietly to the conversation between mother and daughter.She could see that it was Alexis who made Sophia look at the past in a new light.She decided to leave them both alone for a while.
The tragedy of the Pandoraki family, as it is known, is still widely discussed in Plaka, and the little girl without parents was not forgotten by those who witnessed the unforgettable events of that summer night.Some still live in Plaka.Fotini walked into the bar and said a few words to Gera Ximo, who was gesticulating wildly at his wife.They dropped what they were doing and came over, leaving their son behind the counter to greet them for a while.The three of them walked quickly towards the small restaurant.
At first Sophia didn't recognize the two sitting at the table next to her and Alexis, but when she found out that the old man was mute, she knew who he was.
"Gera Seymour!" she cried, "I remember you. Didn't you work in the tavern I used to go to?"
He nodded and smiled.Jeraseymour is a mute who impresses little Sophia.She remembered being a little scared of him as a child, and remembering the iced lemonade he made for her when she and Maria went to bars, and she loved it.They often look for her grandfather there.She didn't remember Adriara very well, she was bloated now, and had horrible varicose veins that couldn't be covered by thick stockings.Adriala reminds Sofia that when Sofia came to Plaka before, she was in her teens.Sofia had a vague memory of a pretty but lazy girl who used to sit outside the bar talking to her friends while groups of lads milled around, leaning nonchalantly on their bicycles.Fotini found the brown leather envelope again, and the photos were spread out on the table again. It was amazing how similar Sophia and Alexis were to their elders.
The diner was closed that night, but Mateos was back, soon to take over his parents' business, and now he was as strong as a mountain.Sophia hugged him warmly.
"Nice to see you, Sophia," he said warmly. "Long time no see."
Mateos began to set the long table.There is another guest coming.Earlier that day, Fotini called her brother Antonis.At nine o'clock he came from Scythia.His hair was gray now, and he was a little stooped, but his deep, romantic eyes—the eyes that had caught Anna so many years ago—did not change.He sat between Sophia and Alexis, and after a few drinks, he stopped being shy and began to speak English, which he hadn't spoken in years.
"Your mother is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he said to Sophia, and after a moment he added, "Except for my wife, of course."
He sat silent for a while, then spoke again.
"Her beauty is both a gift and a curse, and a woman like her will always make certain men go to extremes. It's not her fault, you know."
Alexis looked at her mother's face and could see that she understood.
"Efharisto," said Sofia quietly, "thank you."
After midnight, the candle was extinguished after weeping for a long time.Only then did the people at the table get up and leave.In a few hours, Alexis and Sophia were on their way, Alexis returning to Haria to meet Ed, and Sophia taking the ferry back to Piraeus.To Alexis it seemed like a month had passed since she had been here, when in reality it had only been a few days.As for Sophia, although she stayed only briefly, its significance was incalculable.She hugged him as warmly as during the day, and vowed that next year she would definitely come and stay longer and more calmly.
Alexis drove her mother to Heraklion, and Sophia had to catch the evening ferry back to Athens.They talked non-stop all the way, and there was not a moment of silence.Alexis put her mother down, and Sophia was happy to visit the museum in Heraklion before catching the ferry in the evening.Alexis continued on to Hariya.She has learned about the mysterious past, and the future is what she cares about now.
Almost three hours later, she returned to the hotel.It was a long, sweaty ride, and she couldn't wait for a drink.She walked across the street to the nearest bar, which overlooked the beach.There Ed was, sitting alone, gazing out to sea.Alexis walked towards him quietly and sat down in a chair at his desk.The sound of her dragging the chair startled him, and he jumped, looking around.
"Where the hell have you been?" he cried.
Alexis had left him a text message four days ago, saying that she would stay in Plaka for a few nights, but she hadn’t contacted him, and her phone had been turned off.
"Look," she said, knowing it was her fault for losing touch, "I'm really sorry. There's been a lot going on, and I'm kind of losing track of time. And my mom's here, and—"
"What do you mean? Your mother is here? So your family is going to be reunited or something, just forgot to tell me! Thank you so much!"
"Listen..." began Alexis, "it's really important."
"For God's sake, Alexis!" he growled sarcastically, "what's more important? Is it more important to leave me to see your mother, or to spend the holidays with me? You're at home You can see her as many times a week as you want!"
Ed didn't wait for her answer, and walked over to the bar for another drink, his back to Alexis.She could see his anger and hatred from the lines on his shoulders, before he could turn around, she slipped away quickly, quietly.She spent a few minutes packing her things, stuffing them all into a bag, grabbing a few books from the bedside table, and scribbling a note to him.
Sorry it ended like this.You never listen to me.
No "Love You Alexis," no rows of kisses.it's over.She admitted it herself.no love.
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