Chapter 7 up for grabs

Wang Da found great warmth in Miss Zhao's small apartment.Although the furniture placed in the living room is second-hand, a couch, a table and some chairs have been repainted; but the carefully arranged flowers, goldfish and a few Chinese paintings painted by Ms. Zhao herself make it very warm.Her bedroom was as small as a closet, with the double bed against the wall on three sides.Her bed was covered with a beautiful silk coverlet embroidered with an ancient pine, a peacock and several chrysanthemums.It was Ms. Zhao's own masterpiece, but for some reason, since she came to the United States eight years ago, she has never embroidered a single thread.Wang Da once suggested that she pick up embroidery needles again, but she always changed the topic, as if talking about it a few more words would hurt her heart.When Wang Da asked her to explain, she always said that she didn't want to mention the sad things in the past.

Her kitchen is very clean, with all the kitchen utensils, enough to cook a feast of southern dishes, or a coastal fisherman's banquet, as well as a steamer for steaming steamed buns and a pan for pancakes in the north.She often invites Wang Da to her apartment for dinner, and every meal will change in a different way.Wang Da likes to eat her fried noodles, dumplings and pancakes. These northern famous foods were introduced to Italy by Marco Polo and evolved into macaroni, stuffed buns and pizza.She makes the best Southern style braised pork.For a long time, the apartment was filled with the smell of braised pork, smelling the long-lasting smell of meat, even if he wasn't hungry, Wang Da's saliva would flow out.

Wang Da has eaten in her apartment many times.He didn't know why he spent so much time with Ms. Zhao. Maybe it was because the school life was too boring and he suffered too much setbacks, so he took Ms. Zhao's warm and comfortable small apartment as a temporary refuge to survive a monotonous day. A place of respite after a tedious life.The only unpleasant time was when Ms. Zhao encouraged him to study medicine seriously, but she found out how he really felt about medical school, and she never brought up this topic again.Once, he wrote to Zhang Lingyu to introduce his studies.Zhang Lingyu wrote back and said: "Dear friend, in my opinion, a good meal is placed in front of you, but you have no appetite for it. I have considered your distress, but I have not found anything that can improve your interest in medical school. Maybe marriage can help, but it still depends on who you marry. Sometimes love is a huge motivator, but where to find love? This is also a question that has puzzled us for many years .”

"Sometimes, I also feel that putting you into medicine is like putting you in a very unhappy marriage. You, like a wife in a marriage, suffer from severe sexual indifference. You can either divorce or stay in the Husband's side to do your duty. The only way to save your marriage is to do your duty. Even though marriage is something you hate so much, you think that you can reap the rewards from it and ensure a comfortable old age. I suspect that many people with This is what frigid wives think. In order to find pleasure in life, they organize women's clubs, bridge clubs, collect water raccoon furs, study modern paintings, visit handsome psychiatrists, etc. Why don't you Do that? Try to find yourself a hobby—hunting, fishing, dancing, swimming, boxing, even whoring, just to lubricate your squeaky learning machine and make it more comfortable..."

Wang Da tore up the letter and decided not to talk about his school life with Zhang Lingyu again. One night, he had an exquisite dinner at Miss Zhao's apartment.The small table in the kitchen was full of Chinese North and South dishes, and she also prepared authentic tiger bone wine for Wang Da. After Wang Da had two glasses of tiger bone wine, he felt as if he was flying in the air.When Ms. Zhao wanted to pour him a third glass of wine, he resolutely objected, but Ms. Zhao insisted on filling him up. "What's the big day today, Helen?" he asked. "It's not an important day." Miss Zhao said, "I just want you to have a good meal tonight, let's have a drink."

"Let me help you pour another glass." Wang Da said, picked up the tin jug, and filled her wine glass with hot white wine. "Don't try to get me drunk." Ms. Zhao said with a smile, "My drinking capacity is not average. It was passed down to me by my grandfather. He used to be a wine seller, and he lost his fortune on drinking." After finishing speaking, she urged He drank it up. "Come on, cheers, cheers." Wang Da drank another cup, and the world under his feet began to spin.Miss Zhao turned off the light and lit two candles.The kitchen is warm and filled with the aroma of delicious food and wine. "Come, drink some soup." Ms. Zhao said, scooping up a bowl of delicious bird's nest soup for him, "This soup is for hangover, after drinking it, you can have another cup. Life is short, and we should Carpe Diem."

After Wang Da drank the fifth cup, he couldn't tell the difference between east and west, north and south.The kitchen turned into a blurry color movie picture, everything swayed in a brisk haze, and Miss Zhao also turned into a double image, dancing, swimming, and flying in front of him, like a pair of Like conjoined twins.She is beautiful, graceful, like an angel.She walked towards him, said something in his ear, it sounded like a gentle song, and touched his burning face with her palm.She kept talking to him, but he didn't understand what she was saying.After a while, she brought him a cup of hot tea and spoon fed him, and gradually his heavy lethargy began to fade.He felt exuberant, lethargic, and carefree. "You need to take a nap." Ms. Zhao said, "Help me, or you will fall. Come, help me."

He supported Miss Zhao's shoulders and stood up with her help. "Can you call me a taxi?" he said. "I'm so weak that I can't drive." "Okay, I'll call you a taxi," she helped him to the bedroom, "lie on my bed for a while, and take a nap. As soon as you wake up, I'll call you a taxi." Wang Da fell on the soft and spacious bed, every muscle and every bone felt very relaxed.He had never been so relaxed in his life.He closed his eyes and felt that he was the happiest person in the world.His whole body was limp, and he didn't want to open his eyes at all, and he didn't even want to move a little finger in this life.Miss Zhao helped him take off his shoes, moved his feet to the middle of the bed, and covered him with a blanket that smelled of perfume.He didn't know, and he didn't care, how long he'd be in bed like this, half-drunk and half-awake.Even if the house is on fire at this time, even if the sky is falling, he won't care.He heard a rustling sound, as if Miss Zhao was doing something.He didn't care. In fact, no matter what Miss Zhao was doing now, he wouldn't be curious.There was only one thing he wanted to do, and that was to lie there and enjoy the blissful half-drunk and half-awake state of the moment.

After a while, he felt the side of the bed sink a little, and someone crawled onto the bed beside him.A strong smell of perfume hit his nostrils, and he didn't move.At this time, the soft and warm body beside him moved closer, clinging to him tightly.It was a naked body, he didn't feel surprised, and didn't care at all... He spent the whole night in this bed.It wasn't until the next morning, when he found himself lying naked on the bed, that he recalled what had happened.He recalled what had happened with shock, guilt, shame, and anger.He jumped out of bed immediately, dressed hastily, and without washing his face or combing his hair, rushed across the living room to the front door. "What makes you so anxious?" Miss Zhao yelled, running out of the kitchen to the living room, "I'm making you breakfast."

"I won't eat." Without even daring to look at her, he hurried out of the apartment and closed the door with a "bang". He didn't call Ms. Zhao for more than ten days, and the guilt gradually disappeared, and he felt that his behavior was very rude.Ms. Zhao is kind to herself, cooks for herself, and comforts herself whenever she is unhappy.Besides, I didn't feel bad that night, so I didn't have any reason to get angry and act so rude and cruel.He paced up and down his room, unable to make up his mind what to do.Should I call or write a letter to Miss Zhao to express my apology?

He went to the living room and picked up the phone.But just after dialing the number, he threw the receiver back on the phone.He didn't want to talk to her, afraid of making her sound stupid.He went back to his room and began to write her a letter, but how to write? "Dear Miss Zhao..." is inappropriate.He tore up the letter and took out another. "Dear Helen..." No, it was too intimate.Maybe I should write her a letter in Chinese.In Chinese letters, you can be polite but not blunt, close but not intimate. At the very least, you can reduce some personal emotions. He wrote the letter in Chinese and read it himself, feeling very satisfied.He sealed the letter in a plain white envelope and stuffed it in his pocket, ready to post it after dinner.As he waited for dinner, he lay in bed and thought back to the night at Miss Zhao's apartment.Her passion, her actions, her love words, how intoxicated he was at that time, are now vividly reappearing in his mind.At this moment, he could feel the warmth of her body, the smoothness of her skin.In the half-light, her appearance was not ugly, and her figure was plump and well-proportioned. Her breasts, which were rarely seen in her clothes, were neither big nor small, and they were firm.In fact, he had never noticed that she had such a good figure before.When he thought of these things, his heart began to beat violently, and his face burned hot.He gets out of bed, takes a sip of cold water, walks up and down the floor, tries to read, takes another sip of water, ties up his shoelaces, walks up and down the floor again... oh hell, he doesn't actually Not hungry, he wondered why he waited for something he didn't need.He went to the living room again, picked up the phone and dialed her number.Her voice was very enthusiastic: "I have never understood what happened to you that day. Do you like to eat steamed minced meat with salted fish? I just steamed a bowl, why don't you come and help me eat with it?" "Okay," he said after a moment of hesitation, "I'll be there in about half an hour." He went back to his room, tore the letter into pieces, and threw them into the wastebasket.His heart was beating violently, but he couldn't figure out why he was so excited.When he got into his car and started it, he found his hands were shaking. After that night, Wang Da went to see Miss Zhao twice a week, very regularly.He always went to supper and stayed there with her until late at night.But he never took her out again.Ms. Zhao suggested going to the movies or dancing many times, but Wang Da always told her that it would be more comfortable to stay in the apartment.He told her he didn't like dancing very much and hated going to the movies.He hated these lies, but now that his relationship with Miss Zhao had changed, he somehow felt that he was very unwilling to let others see him with her in public. "What's the matter?" Miss Zhao said angrily one night, "You never want to go out with me. It doesn't cost much to watch a movie. If you lack money, I have it here." Wang Da was stunned.His heart was deeply hurt by these words, like being stabbed by a knife. "Which movie would you like to see?" he said, standing up, fighting his disgust and urge to walk away from her. "Any movie is fine." Ms. Zhao said with a smile, "I just want to go out with you, it doesn't matter what movie I go to. Let's drive to Market Street and see what movie is playing there tonight." They drove quietly down Market Street.On a Saturday night, the illuminated streets are stunning.The traffic on the street is rolling, the traffic is heavy, groups of people are turning around on the clean and spacious sidewalks, the colorful lights are flickering, and the taxis are rushing through the narrow gaps in the traffic, trying to get ahead of the green light, impatient The drivers were honking their horns vigorously.A female driver turned the car onto a one-way street and went the wrong way, only to hear the screeching sound of brakes; a policeman appeared from nowhere, and for some unknown reason, chased an unknown car on a motorcycle; The siren screamed from nowhere, and soon disappeared in the distance.Wang Da loves Market Street, but hates driving here. "What movie to watch?" he asked, "Have you decided yet?" "Any movie is fine, it doesn't matter." Ms. Zhao said. Wang Da turned his Model 48 hitchhiker directly onto Ellis Avenue and drove into a parking lot.After they parked the car, they walked back to Market Street. "Why are you walking so fast?" Miss Zhao asked, "Movies are shown consecutively, so you won't miss anything." Wang Da didn't say a word.He walked to the nearest movie theater and bought two tickets without looking at the colorful posters plastered on the gaudy, tacky notice board next to the movie theater.The two walked into the cinema without saying a word. The movie theater showed a color film set in a foreign country with actors in brightly colored costumes.Torture and kills, lovemaking, erotic dancing, arguments and unbelievable stunts and daring are part of the plot.There are also many female slaves and female soldiers who did not forget to expose their thighs while wielding swords on horseback.Watching this movie made Wang Da feel deeply depressed.He fidgets in the chair.He had never felt so restless and uncomfortable before.As soon as the movie was over, he couldn't wait to stand up and say, "Let's go." "I haven't watched the newsreel yet," Miss Zhao said. "You've read it in the paper," he said. "Let's go." Outside the cinema, Ms. Zhao looked at her watch and said, "It's still early, let's go to Chinatown and eat a bowl of wontons." Wang Da wanted to go home very much.Coming out with her, he realized, was torture.He said, "Sorry, Helen, I have to go home early." "why?" "I have to get up early." "Your sense of time has never been so strong before." "I need more sleep." "It's only nine o'clock. It's Saturday night again. Let's go to Chinatown and take a walk on the Gran Via. I haven't walked the Gran Via on a Saturday night for a long time." Wang Da walked towards Ellis Street, "Come here, I'll drive you home." Miss Zhao stood still outside the cinema, staring at him angrily. "Let's go." Wang Da called her impatiently, "Let's go!" "Where are you going?" Miss Zhao asked, sounding annoyed. "go home!" "Oh, that's all you want, right?" she said. "What do you mean?" Wang Da asked.He felt a sudden, violent revulsion at the thought of his physical relationship with her. "What do you mean? Listen, I want to drop you off at my door and then go back to my own right away." "You're ashamed to be with me!" she said. "You're ashamed to go out with me, or to be seen with me in Chinatown. I've been wondering since last week, and today, And it turns out that's true!" Wang Da became even more angry, because her words hit the nail on the head. "Listen, Helen, be sensible..." But she ignored him.She turned away abruptly, disappearing into the crowd.Wang Da tried to catch up with her, but the reluctance in his heart held him back.Yes, with her, he felt ashamed to see people.He could no longer treat her as a sister, or be in public places with her quite naturally and comfortably. He hadn't been to her place for two weeks, but Miss Zhao kept calling him, apologizing to him, asking his forgiveness, and inviting him to dinner.Wang Da has been very indifferent, and after another two weeks, she stopped calling.As time went by, Wang Da's conscience began to feel guilty.In any case, he felt that he was being very unfair to Helen.His rough treatment of her made him feel like what the Americans called a "stinking man."He wrote her a letter in English, begging her forgiveness.But there was no response to the letter.Then he bought a dozen roses from a florist in Chinatown and asked the florist to deliver them to her apartment, but this time there was still no reply.He tried to call her several times, but changed his mind each time he picked up the phone.He thought that if she refused to write back to him, she would certainly refuse to talk to him on the phone.Well, he shrugged and said to himself, so be it.Now that I had apologized to her in that long letter, there was no longer any reason to feel guilty about it.He discovered that without the entanglement of love, it would be so easy to forget a woman. Two months passed.Wang Da studied hard and stayed at home most nights.Sometimes he went to Wang Shan's room to help Wang Shan learn arithmetic.Sometimes Wang Shan complained to Wang Da because he was really tired of learning the knowledge of Confucius. "You have nothing to complain about," Wang Da said to him. "Do you know what I'm studying? Medicine. It's a hundred times more complicated than Confucius. And I'll have to make a living from it in the future." "Although it is like this, you don't need to memorize every word you have learned." Wang Shan said, "I have to memorize all the books of Confucius, but I don't know anything about those nonsense." "But you won't use what you have learned to destroy other people's lives, right? It's possible for me." Wang Da replied, "When you recite the "Four Books", the only people you may destroy are yourself and Confucius." Master, and he has been dead for thousands of years. Now, concentrate on your homework." Master Wang noticed Wang Da's change and was very happy.One night, he called Wang Da to his room, praised him for his good performance, and then told him a lot of Confucian benevolence, righteousness and morality.Wang Da listened intently, reining in his urge to argue a few points he considered outdated.He believes that Confucius' moral views are actually some clichés that are generally accepted by different religions and are still being preached.In his view, the Ten Commandments in the Christian Bible may have been written by Confucius.What he has the most objection to Confucianism is that the sage puts too much emphasis on the "self-denial" that creates unnecessary confinement in the human mind and inhibits the freedom of thought.He realized that in this world, if a man is less emotional about life and less serious, he will be happier, just as Zhang Lingyu often said.He suddenly felt, somehow, that his unhappiness arose from an invincible bondage, which had created so many psychological barriers that sometimes made his behavior appear foolish and ridiculous.He always feels responsibility, guilt, shame, self-blame, and sometimes angry with himself, because in his conscience voice born out of Confucian morality, it keeps shouting that he is wrong, that he has done a lot of things that are extremely unfair things... "Are you listening to me?" his father asked coughing. "Yes, I'm listening." After he finished speaking, he suddenly became worried about his father's cough, "Dad, you should go to the doctor to see your cough, your cough is getting worse." "A Chinese medicine doctor with excellent medical skills is treating me. He is a good friend of mine..." "I don't think traditional Chinese medicine can really find out your cause, Dad..." "You don't know anything about coughing." Wang Qiyang interrupted him, "I'm talking about your personal ambitions now, so listen carefully." He coughed, cleared his throat and continued: "A person should have ambitions , and a person must cross four basic stages in order to realize his ambition. The first is self-cultivation, and the second is family harmony. If he cannot successfully cross the first two stages, then he will not be able to realize the third and fourth steps, namely Govern the country and make the world peaceful. Your first step has been doing well, and I am very happy. As for the second step, my friend and I, the highly skilled Chinese medicine practitioner I just mentioned, will help you when you mature of." Wang Da has no idea how his father and Chinese medicine practitioners will help him, but he is not very optimistic about his future.When he returned to his room, he found a letter on the table, with his name written in Chinese and English on the envelope in beautiful fonts.He tore open the envelope and saw a note. "Mr. Wang: Hello. Thank you very much for your letter and roses, which have been lying in front of my apartment for more than two months, because I was not at home during that time. Helen Zhao." Why did she leave home for more than two months?Wang Da guessed for a while.Could it be that he was sick?Or did he make her so sad that she had to leave home for a change?He called her, and at first her voice was cold, but when he apologized to her again for his faux pas, she warmed up. "Where have you been?" he asked. "I'm not home," she said. "Are you sick?" "No." "You sound mysterious." "Thank you for calling, see you another day." After saying goodbye, she hung up the phone. Wang Da felt relieved.He thought she was right, and he felt finally paying off a debt that had been weighing on his mind for a long time.He wrote a letter to Zhang Lingyu, telling him his new attitude towards life.He wrote: "I don't owe anyone anything anymore, either spiritually or materially. I now absolutely believe that I would be happier if everyone owed me a little debt or affection. However, Guilt creeps into my heart when I owe something to someone, like a cow bird squeezes into and usurps another bird's nest, forever depriving the nest of its rightful occupants of peace. I don't know what you think How, however, I fear, this attitude will be strongly opposed by American investment firms and installment department stores...” Three days later, Zhang Lingyu wrote back: "I hope you will make yourself stronger, my friend. I can still see that you are too soft-hearted for the cow bird who always crowds other people's nests. I mean, you have to make yourself stronger." Stronger. I will write the next paragraph in English, lest your old father read the letter, or he will monitor your actions. Do you know who that Miss Tang is? She is a dancer at Shanghai Paramount Ballroom. She is based in the United States Came to America as Soldier's Bride; has been 'free' since divorcing her husband 3 years ago. You have to be careful not to fall for her 'brother' scam. It's pure hoax. Here are some hard truths about a friend who has been through all of her tricks. She says she wants revenge on men. Her attitude towards life is the exact opposite of yours. Some people say she has a heart of stone, you must pay attention! By the way, how far has your relationship with her developed..." Wang Da immediately wrote a letter to answer this question: "I just happened to develop into a 'brother' with her. We once planned to spend the weekend in Carmel as husband and wife, but the car broke down. It's God's will! I accepted God's will. Hint, and she stopped abruptly at the 'brother' stage..." Wang Da never told anyone about his relationship with Ms. Zhao. Although he almost confided it to Zhang Lingyu once in a letter, he still held back.Now he thinks the whole thing is over and is happy about it. One morning, when he was sorting out the day's mail, he saw a pink envelope with his name written on it, and the font was also very beautiful.When he opened the envelope, he frowned slightly.Just as he guessed, this is a letter from Miss Zhao.The letter was written in Chinese, and the tone was very intimate, inviting him to eat hot pot at her apartment. "I finally bought a hot pot imported from Hong Kong," said the letter. "Although it is not as good as Shanghai hot pot, it is also made of high-quality copper, and the charcoal stove in the middle is also a good size. The hot pot itself is big enough to Fill six bowls of water. There is enough food in the hot pot for the two of us. Do you like cabbage vermicelli meatball soup? That is my favorite hot pot dish. Can you come and share with me, dear ?” This letter made Wang Da feel very uncomfortable.It sounds overly affectionate, perhaps because it's written in a conservative language like Chinese.It sounds natural to write a letter in English with a little emotional color, but it is not comfortable to express it in Chinese. The word "dear" really troubled Wang Da's brain.He decided to decline the invitation.He wrote her a polite letter, telling her he was busy preparing for his upcoming exams.Just as he was about to go out to post a letter, the phone rang.He went to the living room to answer the phone, it was Miss Zhao, her voice was very happy. "Did you get my letter?" "Received. I just wrote you a reply..." Wang Da said. "Can you come tomorrow?" she asked enthusiastically and expectantly. "I'm afraid not. The final exam is coming soon..." "Oh, let's come here sometime." She interrupted him, "Tomorrow is my birthday, please come here, but you don't need to bring anything. I never accept gifts on my birthday." Wang Da felt very embarrassed.Nobody would turn down someone's birthday invitation without a good reason.Besides, she mentioned presents, and if he didn't come, she might feel that he would be reluctant to buy her a present.In the end, he accepted, but was a little offended by her statement refusing any gifts, which seemed to say, "Oh, come on, I won't ask you for anything." The next day, he bought her a pair of jade earrings, but on a second thought, he returned them in exchange for a silver cigarette case.He felt that the meaning of the earrings was too intimate.He didn't want to give her any birthday presents that might cause misunderstandings.He also secretly decided to stay with her for only a few minutes before leaving.He hoped that tomorrow's dinner would be a birthday party rather than a date for two people.That way he can leave whenever he wants without hurting anyone. He came to her apartment at seven o'clock in the evening.When she came to open the door, he was taken aback.She was dressed up beautifully, wearing a brocade cheongsam woven with gold embossed flowers, pearl earrings and a necklace, but her face was so red that he barely recognized it at first.If she hadn't greeted him, he would have thought he had gone to the wrong door.He wondered, what happened to her face? "Come in." She said happily, "The hot pot is almost ready." He went into the living room and gave her a present. "Oh, I told you not to bring anything." She looked at him affectionately as she spoke.There was an awkward silence as he quickly avoided her burning gaze.The room was dim and dark, with only two candles flickering on the radio and record player in the corner.There were no other guests in the room: "Am I too early?" he asked. "It's not early," she said after a while. "You came just in time. Didn't I ask you to come at seven o'clock, didn't I?" "Where are the other guests?" "I didn't invite other guests. The hot pot is not big enough for two people. Please sit down. I'll get you a glass of wine." "No, no," he said hastily, "I can't drink tonight. I have to do my homework, so I can only stay for a while." They were silent for a while. "Of course," she said, "I'll get dinner ready right away." She put the gift on the phonograph, nearly knocking over a candle.She smiled nervously and hurried into the kitchen. Wang Da was puzzled by the change on her face.She blushed so much that he thought it was a little funny.He really wanted to turn on the light and take a good look.What the hell is going wrong.Was her face burned?Had she just had scarlet fever?He sat on the couch and guessed wildly.Uncomfortably waiting for dinner, he picked up a few magazines from under the coffee table beside him.Flipping through the magazines, he came across a pamphlet called Sandpaper Therapy in the middle of a women's magazine.Looking at the illustrations in the booklet, he suddenly realized.He held the pamphlet up to the candlelight and read a few paragraphs.No wonder she blushed like a monkey's ass, that's why.She had just had sandpaper therapy—the latest treatment for pockmarked faces.He seems to have seen an introduction in some digest magazine before.Smiling to himself, he quickly stuffed the booklet into the magazine, put it back under the coffee table, and turned on the radio.After a while, Miss Zhao walked into the living room and announced that dinner was open.Her happy voice was a little artificial, which made Wang Da feel even more uncomfortable. It was even darker in the kitchen because there was only one candle, and it was not on the dining table, but on top of the refrigerator, a good fifteen feet away.As soon as he sat at the dining table, Ms. Zhao poured him a glass of wine anxiously: "Just one drink." She said, "This is longevity wine. You must drink it. We will have some longevity noodles in the hot pot later." Here." She took off the lead skin lid of the hot pot, and the hot pot was placed on a square wooden board in the middle of the table.The charcoal is burning vigorously in the charcoal stove in the middle of the hot pot, and the food is gently rolling in the boiling water of the hot pot.At this time, she picked up a large spoon and gave Wang Dasheng a bowl of soup from the steaming hot pot.She said: "You can pick up the meatballs and cabbage yourself. The vermicelli inside is very long. I'm afraid you have to stand up when you want to pick it out." noodle.The kitchen was steaming hot, and the room was full of fragrance.Wang Da was not hungry, but he found the dishes in the hot pot very tasty. "Sit down and eat hot pot." He said, "It's pretty good." "Do you really like it?" Her voice was very happy, "If I can buy authentic enoki mushrooms and fungus, I can make a more fragrant hot pot. It's a pity that I don't have time to go to Chinatown to buy these imported dry goods. Next time I will cook you a real hot pot feast." Wang Da originally wanted to ask her about the treatment of pockmarks, but changed his mind again.That's a sensitive issue.Since she's reluctant to even turn on all the lights, she's probably very sensitive to the issue.Her nervous laugh, her secretive and trying to please him made him uncomfortable.He was desperate to finish this supper and leave her as soon as possible. The longevity noodles are ready, filled with shrimps and pine mushrooms, and placed in a delicate porcelain bowl. "The noodles are also very long." She said, handing him a small dish of soy sauce, "You can roll the noodles on the chopsticks to eat. But please don't bite the noodles. You have to eat it in one bite. Tonight I But superstitious." "Come and sit down and have something to eat yourself." Wang Da said, picked up the wine glass and politely said a toast, "I wish you a long life like Nanshan and happiness like the East China Sea." She sat down and drank a glass, and then whispered: "Thank you, Da." The quality of her grateful voice made Wang Da frowned nervously.Why does she feel grateful and go to such lengths to please herself?Her doing this only made him more uncomfortable.He sneaked a glance at his watch, but it was too dim to tell what time it was.He would have liked to be here only a few minutes; but now it must be more than an hour and a half at least.He thought how much he would have enjoyed the food and the evening if their platonic purity remained.In the past, they always had a lot to say, and they talked about everything in the world.But now, every moment seems to be so embarrassing and cold, it is so hard to find something to talk about.He put down the bowl and chopsticks and said apologetically: "I really have to go, I have to hurry up and prepare for the exam, thank you very much for this hot pot meal." Miss Zhao put down the chopsticks and picked them up again, her hands were shaking.The darkness in the kitchen made Wang Da feel lucky.He didn't want to see the hurt look on her face. "Of course." After a while, she spoke, her voice cheerful, but it sounded like she was trying too hard. "Have a cup of tea before leaving. I'll boil the water. You must try my oolong chrysanthemum tea, which a friend brought me from Taiwan. Just wait for two or three minutes." She got out of the chair Standing up, he hastily approached the stove. "If you want, you can wait in the living room." Wang Da went to the living room.He decided to stay for another ten minutes, ten minutes at most.Soon she came in, holding two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. "You haven't finished my longevity wine yet." She said, "It's unlucky if you don't finish your longevity wine." She put the glass for him on the tea table beside him, and he noticed that it had been filled with her Added some wine. "Come on, cheers, cheers." She said, drinking the wine in her hand, trying her best to appear happy. "Sorry, I can't drink," he said. "I have to go home and do my homework." "Just this one," she urged. "The tea will be ready in a while. Here, cheers." 王大端起杯，只呷了一口酒，而赵小姐却一杯见底，紧接着给自己再倒满一杯，她的双手抖得厉害，把酒杯和酒瓶子碰得叮叮当当响。王大注视着她，发现她的变化确实惊人。她看上去似乎受到了严重的摧残。她坐在他对面的一把椅子里，又喝下一口后，把酒杯放到地板上，然后又把酒杯拿起来，好像正在进行一场激烈的思想斗争？“你会娶我吗，王大？”她突然问道，双眼巴巴地望着王大。 王大吃惊地愣住了。“娶我吧，王大。”她又说了一遍。扑到王大脚下。她跪在地板上，抓住他的双手，恳切地望着他。“娶我吧。我可以为你做任何事情，王大。”强烈的厌恶使王大想把双手从她的紧握手中抽出来，但她却紧紧抓住不放。“看看我的脸。”她急切地说，“我现在已治好了。今天早晨我摘掉了绷带。医生保证说，再有一两个月我的皮肤就会恢复正常。我有他的书面保证。如果你想看的话，我可以拿给你看……” 王大绞尽脑汁，寻找着合适的话——不会对她造成伤害的话。“我还无法独立生活。”他尽量回避着她的目光说，“我在医学院毕业以前根本不可能结婚。” “我用不着你供养。”她急忙说，“我自己能够维持富裕的生活。” “不，我不能那样做，海伦。” “为什么？告诉我为什么。” “我……我……不想结婚，就为这个。” “爱情会发展的，大。”她说着，双手抓得更紧了，“结婚以后爱情还会进一步发展的。” 王大浑身僵住了。他不知道为什么，但是她说的“爱情”这个字眼让他反感。“对不起，”他直率地说，“我不能娶你。我们别再讨论这个问题了。”他试图站起来，但赵小姐紧紧抓住他的双手不放。 “好吧，你不用娶我。”她声音有点嘶哑地说，“但你每星期要来看我。你也用不着带我出去。我们就待在公寓里面。我来给你烧饭，为你做任何事情……” “我认为我们不应该再见面了，请让我回家……” “答应我每星期来看我一次，大。”她说着，声音都绝望了，“每星期就那么一次，我来给你烧饭，你什么时候想走就走，随你……” 王大使劲把自己的手从她紧握的手中抽出来，然后站起身来。“抱歉，我必须得走了。” 赵小姐立刻站起来，回到自己的椅子上。她从地板上拣起酒杯，喝了一大口酒。她说：“你还是觉得我给你丢人。” “我并不是觉得你给我丢人。”王大说：“我只是不爱你。我觉得我永远不会和你堕入情网，我无能为力。我不能强迫自己去爱。” 赵小姐突然把手中的酒杯捏碎。“好吧，你出去。”她说着，目光一片茫然，没有喝完的酒滴落在地板上，鲜血开始从她的手指往外渗。王大急忙冲出公寓，他感到非常不愉快。赵海伦在他眼中显得十分可怜，但他也不能仅仅因为可怜一个女人而去爱她呀，而在此时，他也因为自己太残酷而恨自己。面对这样一次痛苦的经历，他真希望自己从来没有认识赵海伦。 回到家后，他想专心准备功课，但他实在无法定下心来。这次痛苦事件仍然烦扰着他，就像嘴巴里有一股驱除不掉的异味一样。在中国长大的他，像同情那些因患小儿麻痹症导致腿瘸的人一样，同情因天花而落下一脸麻子的人。他对待赵海伦的态度，使他觉得自己就像刚刚养过一个瘸子似的。他听到父亲在招呼刘妈给他熬药。过一会儿，他又听到刘妈叫她的丈夫刘龙，告诉他去为王老爷买糖渍冬瓜。他记得，父亲喝完中药汤后总是要吃点甜东西，以去除舌头上的苦味，或许自己也该做点类似的事情，于是，他阖上书本去看电影。 随后两周他看了不少电影，其中有些电影真是上好的“糖渍冬瓜”。它们不仅帮助他去除了口中的异味，有时甚至会使他精神振作。一天晚上，他看了一部名叫《小劫持者》的外国电影。走出电影院时，他感觉心情舒畅，因为感人的故事为他提供了一个发泄某些被压抑的情感的渠道。那是一部少有并能够温暖他心灵的电影，而不是那种仅仅用色彩的富丽堂皇取悦视觉的电影。他走在大街上，感觉就像一个鼻塞的人突然清爽了一样。他买了一份晚报，深深吸了一口清凉的新鲜空气，然后走进街道拐角的一家餐厅去喝咖啡。 他一边啜着咖啡，一边浏览晚报，第二版一角的一个小标题引起了他的注意。这个标题是“海滩发现溺毙华人女子”。 “昨天早晨，正在休假的法律秘书珍妮？帕尔克小姐发现了一具华人女子的尸体。帕尔克小姐报警后，警方判断，在海滩上已被沙子部分掩盖的尸体，显然是在前一天夜晚被冲上海岸的。死者的身份已经查明，她的名字是赵海伦，四十一岁，是在位于斯托顿街的世界服装厂工作的一位裁缝。晚些时候，在金门公园附近的公路上，发现了她停在那里的汽车。她的手袋开启着放在汽车前排座位上，里面装有她的驾驶执照及其他身份证明：她的钱包空空如也，扔在车内地板上。警方现在还不能确定她是遭遇抢劫被人谋杀，还是自己溺水死亡。目前尚未发现有关自杀的遗书。”