Chapter 12 Chapter Eleven Iron Head

EDIT: I also found myself thinking about Tobias Wolff's Bullet in the Brain.You might want to read that too. AJ's mother comes for Christmas, and she's nothing like him.Paula is a small white woman with long gray hair that hasn't been cut since she retired from the computer company a decade ago.She has spent most of her retirement in Arizona.She draws pictures on rocks and turns them into jewelry, deliterates prisons, saves Siberian dogs, and tries a new restaurant every week.She dated several people, both male and female.She gradually became bisexual and didn't think it was a big deal.She was seventy years old, and she believed in trying new things, or she might as well be dead.She arrived with three identically packaged and identically shaped presents for her son's family, and assured her that she hadn't been ill-considered in choosing the same gift for all three of them. "It's just that I think it's something you're all going to value and use," she said.

Maya knew what it was before she finished removing the wrapping paper. She saw it in school, and it seems that everyone has one of these things now, but her father doesn't approve of it.She slowed down opening the presents to give herself time to figure out how to respond without annoying her grandma and dad. "E-reader! I've wanted it for ages." She cast a quick glance at her dad.He nodded, but frowned slightly. "Thank you grandma." Maya kissed grandma's face. "Thank you, Mama Fikri," said Amelia.She already has an e-reader for work, but she doesn't mention it.

As soon as AJ saw what it was, he decided not to open the gift.If he keeps the packaging, maybe he can give it to someone else. "Thank you, Mom," AJ said, and then said nothing. "AJ, you're pouting," his mother said. "I didn't," he insisted. "You must keep up with the times," she added. "Why do I have to? What's so great about the times?" AJ often thinks about this, like the fat on the meat, the good things in the world are being cut away bit by bit.First the record stores, then the video rental stores, then newspapers and magazines, and now even the big bookstore chains are disappearing everywhere you look.In his opinion, the only thing worse than having a major chain bookstore in the world is not having any major chain bookstores in the world.At least the big bookstores sell books, not drugs and useless junk!At least some of the people who work there have degrees in English literature and know how to read and reason!At least those large bookstores can sell 10,000 copies of the publisher's junk books, and the small island bookstore can also sell a hundred literary novels!

"The fastest way to get old is to be technically obsolete, AJ." His mother retired with an enviable pension after working in a computer company for twenty-five years, and AJ was unmoved by the idea thought. AJ takes a deep breath, takes a gulp of water, and takes another deep breath.He felt his brain press against his skull.His mother rarely came, and he didn't want to spoil their time together. "Dad, you're blushing a little," Maya said. "AJ, are you okay?" his mother asked. He puts his fist on the coffee table. "Mom, do you really understand that that hateful thing is wreaking havoc, not only on my business, but worse, on the brutal and rapid decline of centuries of vibrant literary culture?" AJ asked .

"You're exaggerating," said Amelia. "Calm down." "Why should I be cool? I don't like this gift. I don't like that kind of thing, and I certainly don't like having three in my house. I'd rather you give my daughter something less destructive like drug paraphernalia .” Maya giggled. AJ's mother looks like she's about to cry, "Well, of course I didn't mean to upset anyone." "Nothing," said Amelia, "it's a lovely gift. We both love to read and I dare say we'd all love to use. Plus, AJ is really exaggerating."

"I'm sorry, AJ," his mother said, "I didn't know you had such a big opinion on this." "You can ask first!" "Stop talking, AJ; stop apologizing, Mama Fikri," Amelia said. "This is a great gift for a family that all loves to read. There are a lot of bookstores trying to sell traditional Paper books, e-books too. AJ just doesn't want to..." AJ interrupts her: "You know that's bullshit, Amy!" "You're rude," Amelia said. "You have to be realistic and act like those e-readers don't exist. That's not the way to do things."

"Do you smell smoke?" Maya asked. A second later, the fire alarm went off. "Oh shit!" Amelia said, "Brisket!" She ran into the kitchen, AJ following her. "I set the time on my phone, but the phone didn't ring." "I put your phone on silent so it doesn't ruin Christmas!" AJ said. "What did you do? Don't touch my phone again." "Why not use the timer built into the oven?" "Because I can't believe it! If you haven't noticed, the oven, like everything in this house, is nearly a hundred years old," Amelia said loudly, pulling the burning brisket out of the oven. Remove from the stove.

Christmas dinner was all about side dishes because the brisket was so badly roasted. "Side dishes are my favorite," says AJ's mom. "Me too," Maya said. "Not at all," AJ muttered, "and still hungry." He had a headache, which a few glasses of red wine didn't help. "Who's going to tell AJ to pass the wine?" Amelia said. "Who's going to tell AJ he's been hogging the bottle?" "Very mature." AJ said.He poured her another glass of wine. "I can't wait to try it, Grandma," Maya whispered to her devastated Grandma, "I'll use it when I go to bed." She glanced at AJ. "You know."

"I think that's a good idea." AJ's mother also whispered. In bed that night, AJ was still talking about the e-reader. "You know where the real problem with e-readers is?" "I thought you were going to tell me," Amelia said, without looking up from the paper book she was reading. "Everyone thinks they have good taste, but most people don't have good taste. In fact, I personally think that most people have terrible taste. If it's left to them -- completely left to them -- — they read junk and can't tell the difference." "Do you know what's good about e-readers?" Amelia asked.

"Don't know, 'Miss Optimist,'" AJ said, "and I don't want to know." "Well, for those of us whose husbands are becoming farsighted, I won't name names here; for those of us whose husbands are rapidly entering middle age and their vision is failing; Those in the middle whose partners are pathetic middle-aged men..." "Get to the point, Amy!" "E-readers allow these unlucky people to make text as large as they want." AJ said nothing. Amelia put down the book and looked at her husband with a smug smile, but when she looked again, the man was already stunned. AJ is suffering from his intermittent seizures.These episodes made Amelia uneasy, though she reminded herself not to worry.

After a minute and a half, AJ recovered. "I've always been a little farsighted," he said, "and it has nothing to do with being middle-aged." She wiped the drool from his mouth with a tissue. "Gosh, did I just lose consciousness?" AJ asked. "yes." He snatched the tissue from Amelia.He's not the kind of person who likes to be taken care of like that. "how long?" "About ninety seconds, I think." Amelia paused. "Is it too long or normal?" "Maybe it's been a while, but fundamentally it's normal." "Do you think you should check it out?" "No." AJ said. "You know it's been like this since I was a kid." "Kid?" she asked. "Kid. What did I say?" AJ got out of bed and headed for the bathroom, Amelia following him. "Please, Amy, give me some space." "I don't want to give you space," she said. "Ok." "I want you to see a doctor. It's been three times since Thanksgiving." AJ shakes his head. "My health insurance is rubbish, dear Amy. Anyway, Dr. Rosen will say it's the exact same thing I've had for years. I'll be seeing the doctor at my annual checkup in March, as always." Amelia went into the bathroom. "Maybe Dr. Rosen will give you some new meds?" She squeezed between him and the bathroom mirror, putting her big ass on the new double sink counter they had installed just last month. "You matter, AJ." "I'm not some kind of president," he replied. "You are Maya's father, the love of my life, and the cultural disseminator of this community." AJ rolled his eyes, then kissed "Madame Optimistic" Amelia on the mouth. Christmas and New Years are over; AJ's mother happily returns to Arizona; Maya is back at school; and Amelia is back at work. The real gift of the holiday season, AJ thought, is that it has an end.He likes to follow through, making breakfast in the morning, and running to work. He put on his running clothes, did a few stretches copiously, pulled the headband behind his ears, fastened the straps of his backpack, and prepared to run to the bookstore.Now that he no longer lived above the bookstore, his running route was in the opposite direction of what he used to run, so to speak, before Nicole was alive, Maya was little and the first few years after he and Amelia were married. He ran past Ismay's house, where she used to live with Daniel, and now she lived with Lambiase, which was incredible.He also ran past the spot where Daniel died.He ran past the former dance room.What's the name of that dance teacher?He knew she had recently moved to California, and the dance studio was empty.He wondered who was going to teach the little girls on Alice Island to dance in the future?He ran past Maya's elementary school, her junior high school, and her high school.high school.She had a boyfriend, a boy named Furness who could write.He heard them arguing all day.He took a short cut across a field, and was just about to cross it to Captain Wiggins Street when he lost consciousness. At that time, it was only minus five or six degrees Celsius outside.When he awoke, his hands were blue where they touched the ice. He stood up, warming his hands over his coat.He never passed out while running. "Madame Olenska," he said. Dr. Rosen gave him a thorough examination.AJ was healthy for his age, but there was something odd about his eyes that gave the doctor pause. "Do you have any other questions?" she asked. "Hmm...maybe it's just getting old, but lately I seem to slip up from time to time." "A slip of the tongue?" she said. "I can realize that it's not that serious, but every now and then I'll say something else, like 'kid' instead of 'kid'. And last week, I said 'trash grapefruit' .Obviously, that would cause some problems for me at work. I'm pretty sure I was right. My wife thought maybe there was an anti-seizure drug that would help?" "Aphasia," she said, "I don't like the sound of that word." Given AJ's medical history, the doctor decided to send him to a brain specialist in Boston. "How's Molly?" AJ asked, trying to change the subject.It has been six or seven years since this reckless and rude female shop assistant worked for him. "She was just admitted to..." The doctor said the name of a writing project, but AJ didn't pay attention.He was thinking about his own brain.He thought it was odd that he had to use what might be wrong to think about what was wrong. "...feels like I'm about to write the great American novel. I think I'm going to blame Nicole and you," said the doctor. "Full responsibility." AJ said. Glioblastoma multiforme. "Would you mind writing it down for me?" AJ asked.For this appointment, he came alone.He didn't want anyone to know until he was sure about the condition. "I think I'll Google it later." The tumor is so rare that oncologists at Massachusetts General Hospital have never seen a case, except in academic publications and on the TV show "Grey's Anatomy." "How is the patient mentioned in the publication?" AJ asked. "Dead. Lived for two years," said the oncologist. "How were those two years?" "I would say the first year was pretty good." AJ wanted to hear another opinion. "What about the TV show?" The oncologist laughed, chainsaw-like, the loudest voice in the room.Look, tumors can still be hilarious. "I don't think we should base our predictions on nightly soaps, Mr. Fikry." "What's wrong?" "I believe the patient had surgery, lived for an episode or two, thought he was out of danger, and proposed to his girlfriend who was a doctor. Then apparently had a heart attack, nothing to do with the brain tumor, and died the next episode .” "Oh." "My sister is a TV writer, and I believe TV writers call it a 'trilogy'." "So, I should expect to live between three episodes and two years." The oncologist's chainsaw laughter rang out again. "Well, the point is to have a sense of humor. I'm going to say you sound right in that estimate." The oncologist wanted to schedule surgery right away. "immediately?" "Your symptoms are overshadowed by your illness, Mr. Fikry. The scans show that the tumor has grown very large. If I were you, I wouldn't wait." The cost of the surgery is almost as high as the deposit they put on the house.It's unclear how much AJ's meager small business owners insurance would pay. "If I had surgery, how much time would that buy me?" AJ asked. "Depends on how much we can get out. If it comes out clean, it's ten years. If it doesn't, maybe two years. You've got this tumor that tends to come back, which is nasty." "If you manage to get rid of that thing, will I be a vegetable?" "We don't like to use terms like 'vegetative', Mr. Fikry. But it grows on the front lobe of your left brain. You may have occasional speech errors, progressive aphasia, etc. But we Won't take out so much that you're largely not yourself. Of course, if left untreated, the tumor will grow until your speech center of the brain basically fails completely. Anyway, whether we treat or not , which is very likely to happen in the end.” Oddly enough, AJ thought of Proust.Although he pretended to read it all, he only read the first volume.It was a bit of a struggle to read just the first volume, and what he thought at the moment was that at least I wouldn't have to read the remaining volumes anymore. "I'll have to talk to my wife and daughter," he said. "Yes, of course," said the oncologist, "but don't wait too long." On the train, then the ferry, all the way back to Alice Island, AJ contemplates Maya's college costs and Amelia's ability to pay the installments on the house they bought less than a year ago.By the time he was walking down Captain Wiggins Street, he had figured out that he would rather not have an operation if it would leave those closest to and dearest to him penniless. AJ didn't want to go home to face his family for a while, so he called Lambiase, and the two met at the bar. "Tell me a good police story," AJ said. "A story about a good cop, or an interesting story about cops?" "Anything, as you like. I want to hear something interesting, so that I can distract myself from my own problems." "What's wrong with you? Perfect wife, perfect kids, good business." "I'll talk to you later." Lambiase nodded. "Well, let me think about it. Maybe fifteen years ago, there was this kid who went to school in Alice Town. He didn't go to school for a month. Every day he told his parents that he went to school, And every day he doesn't show up. Even if they keep him at school, he'll just slip away and go somewhere else." "Where is he going?" "Yeah. Parents figured he must be in some serious trouble. He was a difficult kid, hanging out with a tough bunch. They all got low grades and wore low-slung pants. His parents ran a business on the beach It's a food stall, so the family doesn't have much money. Anyway, his parents couldn't do anything, so I decided to follow this kid all day. This kid went to school, and after the first period, he left. I followed him , and finally we came to a building that I had never been in before. I was on the corner of Main Street and Park Street. Do you know where I am?" "That's the library." "Guess right. You know I never read much at the time. I followed him up the steps into a library study in the back, and I thought he was probably going to do something in there. Absolutely. Great location, right? Isolated. But do you know what he took?" "Books, I suppose. That's obvious, isn't it?" "He's got a big book. He's half-read The Endless Jest. Have you heard of it?" "Hey, you made this up." "The boy was reading Endless Jest. He said he couldn't read it at home because he had five younger siblings to look after. He couldn't read it at school because his friends would laugh at him. So he skipped school and went to Read it quietly. That book requires a lot of concentration. 'Listen, hombre,' he said, 'school means nothing to me. It's all in this book.'” "I see, he's Latino because you used the word 'hombre'. Are there a lot of Latinos on Alice Island?" "there's a few." "Then what do you do?" "I took him back to school. The principal asked me how I would punish the kid. I asked the kid how long he thought it would take him to finish the book. He said, 'About two weeks.' I suggested that they should be punished for bad behavior. Suspend him from school for two weeks." "You definitely made it up," AJ said. "Admit it. This troubled boy won't skip class to read "Endless Joke." "He is, AJ, I swear to God." But then Lambiase laughed out loud. "You look down. I want to tell you a story that will lift your spirits a little." "Thank you very much." AJ ordered another beer. "What do you want to tell me?" "Interesting that you mention Endless Jest. By the way, why did you single out that book?" AJ said. "I see it all the time in bookstores, it takes up a lot of space on the shelves." AJ nodded. "I once had a big quarrel with a friend of mine over this book. He loved it, and I hated it. But the funniest thing about this argument, I'm going to confess to you now is..." "what?" "I never finished that book." AJ laughed. "That book, and Proust, can stay on my unfinished list, thank God. By the way, my brain It's broken." He pulled out the note and read, "Glioblastoma multiforme. It turns you into a vegetable and you die. But at least it comes fast." Lambiase puts down his beer. "Sure to do surgery or something," he said. "Yes, but it will cost a lot of money. And anyway, it's just postponing death. I'm not going to leave Amy and Maya destitute just to live a few more months." Lambiase finished his beer and motioned to the bartender for another drink. "I think you should let them decide," Lambiase said. "They get emotional," AJ said. "Then let them get emotional." "For me, the right thing to do, I think, is to shoot my brain out." Lambiase shook his head, "Would you do that to Maya?" "Would it be better for her to have a brain-dead father than no money for college?" After going to bed and turning off the lights that night, Lambiase drew Ismail towards him. "I love you," he told her, "and I want you to know that you may have done things in the past, but I don't count." "Well," said Ismay, "I'm falling asleep and I don't know what you're talking about." "I know that bag in the closet," Lambiase whispered, "and I know that it has the book in it. I don't know how it got there, and I don't need to. But it's only right if it's Return it to its rightful owner." After a long time, Ismay said, "That book is ruined." "Even a damaged copy of Timur might be worth a little money," Lambias said. "I checked on the Christie's website, and the last one sold for fifty-six dollars on the market." $10,000. So I figured maybe the damaged copy would be worth around $50,000. AJ and Amy need that money." "Why do they need the money?" He told her about AJ's tumor, and Ismay put her hands over her face. "The way I see it," said Lambiase, "we wipe the fingerprints off the book and return it in an envelope. Nobody needs to know where it came from or who it came from." Ismay switched on the bedside lamp. "How long have you known about this?" "I've known it since my first night at your house." "And you don't care? Why didn't you report me?" Ismay's eyes were sharp. "Because that's none of my business, Ismay. I wasn't invited to your house as a policeman. I don't have a right to look through your stuff. I think there must be some story in it. You're a good woman, Ismay, and you're doing well." not easy." Ismay sat up, her hands shaking.She went to the closet and pulled the bag off. "I want you to know what happened," she said. "I don't need to know," Lambiase said. "Please, I want you to know. Don't interrupt either. If you interrupt, I won't be able to tell the whole story." "Okay, Izzy," he said. “When Marianne Wallace first came to see me, I was five months pregnant. She was with Maya, and the baby was about two years old. Marianne Wallace was young, beautiful, tall, golden Her brown eyes were tired. She said, 'Maya is Daniel's daughter.' I said—I wasn't proud of it—'How do I know you're not lying?' I could see she wasn't there. Lie. I know my husband after all, and the kind of guy he is. He's been cheating since the day we got married, and probably before. But I love his book, or at least the first one. I Feeling deep inside him, the man who wrote that book must be there. You can't write such a good book and have such an ugly heart. But that's the way it is, he's a good writer , but the character is very bad. "But I can't blame Daniel for it all. I can't blame him for my part in it. I scream at Marianne Wallace. She's twenty-two, but look Looks like a kid. 'Do you think you're the first slut to come and say you've got Daniel's kid?' "She apologized and kept apologizing. She said: 'This kid didn't have to be in Daniel Parrish's life' — she kept calling him by his first name. She's a bookworm, you understand. She Respect him.' This kid didn't have to be in Daniel Parrish's life. We won't bother you guys again, I swear to God. We just need a little money to get started and get on with life. He said he would Help, and now I can't find him anywhere.' That sounds reasonable to me. Daniel's been running around - writer-in-residence at a school in Switzerland, trips to Los Angeles, but nothing What a result. "'Well,' I said, 'I'll try to get in touch with him and see what I can do. If he admits you're telling the truth—'but I knew it was, Lambiase !' If he admits you're telling the truth, maybe we can do something." The girl wanted to know how best she could contact me, and I told her I would. "I spoke to Daniel on the phone that night. It was a good conversation, I didn't mention Marianne Wallace. Daniel was very concerned about me and started making some plans for our own baby. 'Ismay,' He said, 'As soon as the baby is born, I'm going to be a different person.' I've heard him say that before. 'No, I'm serious,' he insisted. , write more, take care of you and this potato.' He was always so talkative, and I wanted to believe that from this night on, everything in my marriage would change. I decided right then and there that I would handle it Marian Wallace question. I'll try to buy her off. "People in this town always think my family is richer than it is. Nicole and I each have a small escrow fund, but not a lot. Nicole bought a bookstore with her escrow fund, I bought this house with mine. My husband spends the rest of my money very quickly. His first book was a bestseller, but not so much after that. But unstable, I'm just a middle school teacher. Daniel and I always look rich, but we're actually poor. "Under the mountain, my sister has been dead for more than a year, and her husband is drinking himself to death step by step. Out of obligations to Nicole, I will go to see how AJ is doing some nights. I open the door myself, erase Vomit on his face, dragged him to bed. One night, I went in. AJ was unconscious as usual, and Timur was on the table. At this point, I should mention that he found I went with him on the day of "Tamerlane". He never mentioned to give me a little money, but maybe that would make sense. If it wasn't for me, this stingy guy would never have gone to that Asset auction. I just got AJ in bed and went to the living room to clean up that mess, I wiped everything off, and what I ended up doing, without giving it a second thought, was stuffing that book in my bag . "The next day, everyone was looking for Timur, but I wasn't on the island. I went to Cambridge that day, went to Marianne Wallace's dormitory, and threw the book on her bed. I Tell her: 'Listen, you can sell this, it's worth a lot of money.' She looked at the book suspiciously and said, 'Is there something wrong with it?' I said, 'No, it's Daniel's, He wants to give it to you, but you mustn't say where you got it. Take it to an auction house or find a rare book dealer and just say where you found it in a used bookcase.' I had a No more news of Marianne Wallace, I think maybe that's the end of it." Ismay's voice dropped. "But it's not over, is it?" Lambiase asked. "Yes. Just before Christmas, she came to my house again with Maya and the book. She said she went to all the auction houses and dealers in the Boston area, and none of them wanted to sell the book because it didn't have Provenance, and the police are calling for a stolen copy of Timur. She took the book out of her bag and handed it to me, and I threw it back at her. 'What am I going to do with this book?' Marianne Wallace just shook his head. The book fell to the floor, and the little girl picked it up and started flipping through it, but no one paid her any attention. Tears welled up in Marianne Wallace's large amber eyes , she said: 'Have you read Timur, Mrs Parrish? It's very sad.' I shook my head.' The poem is about a Turkic conqueror who gave his life to gain power I made a deal with my lover in the house—a poor country girl.’ I said: ‘You think that’s the case here? You imagine yourself as a poor country girl and I’m the mean wife, and put you and your The love of my life is broken up?' 'No. 'she says.At that moment, the child began to cry.Marianne said the worst part was that she knew what she was doing.Daniel had given a reading at her school, she loved the book, she'd read his biography a million times when she slept with him, and knew full well he was married. 'I made a lot of mistakes. 'she says. 'I can not help you. 'I say.She shook her head and picked up the child. 'We won't get in your way any more,' she said, 'Merry Christmas. ' "They left. Impressed, I went into the kitchen and made myself some tea. When I came out of the kitchen and went into the living room, I noticed that the little girl had left her knapsack behind, and Timur was on her back. on the floor next to the pouch. I picked up the book, thinking I'd just sneak into AJ's place the next day or night and return the book. That's when I noticed crayon marks on the book .that little girl ruined it! I unzipped the rucksack and put the book in and put the rucksack in the closet. I didn't hide it very well, thinking maybe Daniel would find out and ask about it, but he Never. He never cared. That night, AJ called to ask what to feed the kid. Maya was at his house and I agreed to come over." "Marian Wallace was washed up at the lighthouse the next day," Lambiase said. "Yes, I waited to see what Daniel would say, to see if he would recognize the girl and the child as his. But he didn't. And I, as cowardly as I am, never brought it up again." Lambiase hugged her. "None of it matters," he said after a while, "even if it's a crime..." "That was indeed a crime," she insisted. "Even if it was a crime," he repeated, "everyone who knows anything about it is dead." "Except Maya." "It turns out Maya is doing just fine," Lambias said. Ismay shook his head. "That's right, isn't it?" "The way I see it," said Lambiase, "you saved AJ Fikry's life when you stole that book. Or so I think." "What kind of cop are you?" Ismay asked. "Old fashioned," he said. The next night, as it had done every third Wednesday of the month for the past decade, the Sheriff's Picks Book Club was held at the Isle of Books.At first it was police officers who joined reluctantly, but as the years went by, the group grew in popularity.To date, it is the most attended book party held by Kojima Bookstore.The police still had the most reading clubs, though their wives and even their children—when they were old enough—attended.A few years before Lambiase instituted a "disarm and stay out" rule, "Home in the Dust and Fog" had been so controversial that one young cop drew a gun on another. (Lambias later reflects on AJ that the book was the wrong choice. "There's an interesting cop character in that book, but there's too much ambiguity. I'm going to stick with the lighter ones from now on. .”) Aside from that accident, there has been no violence in this group, except, of course, in the books. According to his usual practice, Lambiase went to the bookstore in advance to prepare for the "Sheriff's Selected Reading Club" event, and also chatted with AJ. "I saw this at the door," Lambiase said as he entered.He handed his friend a padded manila envelope with AJ's name on it. "It's just another sample booklet," AJ said. "Don't say that," Lambiase joked, "it could be a huge bestseller." "Yeah, I'm sure. It's probably the great American novel. I'll add it to my pile: 'Things to read before my brain fails.'" AJ puts the package on the counter and Lambiase looks at it. "It's never certain," Lambiase said. "I'm like a girl who's been in the dating stage for too long. I've had too many disappointments, too many 'it's mine' promises, and it's never been. You're a cop, don't you Will it become like that?" "What kind?" "Cynical, I suppose," AJ said, "haven't you grown wanting to see the worst in people all day long?" Lambiase shook his head. "No. I've seen people who are good and bad." "Okay, tell me a few of these people." "Someone like you, my friend." Lambiase cleared his throat, leaving AJ speechless. "Any good crime novels I haven't read yet? Need to pick up some new ones for 'Sheriff's Picks.'" AJ goes to the crime fiction section.He looked at the row of spines, mostly black and red, all printed in large letters in silver and white, with occasional neon colors to break the monotony. AJ thought of how similar every aspect of the crime genre was.Why is one book different from other books?They are different, AJ concludes, because they are.We need to read more about the contents of the book.We have to believe.We accept disappointment from time to time so we can continually rebuild. He selected a book and held it out to his friend. "Maybe this one?"