Chapter 27 Chapter Twenty Seven
Dr. Alan Hamilton pored over the notes, searching for the indecipherable traces of the subconscious mind, the cause of Catherine's uneasiness.He had every reason to conclude that her fear had something to do with the group from Athens.Moreover, her traumatic past experiences happened in Athens.Alan was puzzled by Wim's situation.Was Catherine imagining it, or was Wim acting out of character?I'm supposed to see Wim in a few weeks, Alan thought, perhaps, to make an appointment with him earlier.
Alan sat there, thinking about Catherine.Although, he had made his own decision not to be emotionally involved with his patients.However, Catherine's case was different.She's beautiful, but fragile, and... what am I doing?You can't let yourself go in this area and concentrate on other things.But his thoughts kept coming back to Catherine.
In Catherine's mind, the image of Alan Hamilton cannot always be ruled out.Don't be silly, Catherine told herself, he's a married man.All patients feel this way about the psychoanalyst.But no matter how Catherine explained it to herself, it didn't work.Maybe it's time for me to ask another psychoanalyst to treat my complex with this psychoanalyst. Two days later, she was going to see Alan again.Maybe I should call off the appointment, Catherine thought, lest I get too deep.But it was too late.
This morning, it was the time agreed with Allen.Catherine dressed carefully and went to the beauty room to make up.After today, as long as I don't see him again, Catherine thought, it doesn't hurt me to look good.
As soon as she stepped into his office, her determination had long since evaporated.Why does he have to be so attractive?Why couldn't we meet before he got married?Why didn't he know me when I was normal and sane?But on the other hand, if I had been normal, I wouldn't have come to him in the first place.Right? "Sorry, what did you say?" Catherine realized that she had sounded out without knowing it.It was time to tell him that this was her last visit. She took a deep breath. "Ellen..." Then, her determination evaporated.She glanced at the photo on the coffee table and asked, "How long have you been married?" "Married?" He followed Catherine's gaze. "Oh, that's my sister and her son." Catherine felt a sudden ecstasy all over her body. "Oh, that's wonderful! I mean, she's... she's so good looking." "Are you all right, Catherine?" Kirk Reynolds used to ask her that all the time.Back then, I had problems, she thought, but not anymore. "I'm fine," she said. "Aren't you married?" "No." can you have dinner with mecan you take me to sleepcan you have meIf she said it out loud, he would really think she was crazy.Maybe, I'm crazy. He frowned and looked at her. "Catherine, I'm afraid we can't go on talking like this. Today is the last day." Catherine's heart sank suddenly. "Why? What did I do..." "No, that... that's not your fault. In this professional relationship, it would be inappropriate for a doctor to have any emotional entanglements with his patients." At this time, she stared at him closely, her eyes sparkling. "You mean, you're already emotionally involved with me?" "Yes. And because of that, I'm afraid..." "You're so right," she said cheerfully. "Let's talk about it at dinner tonight."
They had dinner at an Italian bistro in the center of Saha.It doesn't matter if the food is good or bad.They were all absorbed in each other. "That's not fair, Ellen," said Catherine. "You know me all too well. Tell me about yourself. You've never been married?" "No. But I was engaged." "and then?" "It was during the war years. We lived together in a small apartment. During the days of the Blitz, I worked in a hospital. One night, when I came home..." Catherine could hear the mournful emotion in his words. "...the house no longer exists. Nothing remains." She took his hand. "Sorry." "It took me a long time to recover. I never met anyone else I wanted." And his eyes said, except you. They sat there for four hours, talking about everything—theatre, medicine, the state of the world.But nothing was really said.There was an electric connection between the two of them, and each felt that there was an irresistible sexual impulse between them. Finally, Allen spoke up. "Catherine, what I said this morning about the doctor-patient relationship..." "Come to your room and tell me."
They undressed together, in such a hurry that they couldn't wait.As Catherine undresses, she recalls how she felt when she was with Kirk Reynolds.It's completely different now.The difference is love, she thought, I'm in love with him. She lay on the bed, waiting for him.When he came to him and hugged her, all her uneasiness, all her fears, and even the worry that she would never be able to be with a man again, all disappeared.They caressed each other's bodies, exploring first lightly, tenderly, then like a storm, until their desires became frantic and desperate.I am whole again, Catherine thought happily, thank you. They lay there, exhausted.Catherine hugged Alan tightly, not wanting to let go for a moment. When she caught her breath, she said in a trembling voice, "You must know how to treat a patient, doctor."
In Catherine's mind, the image of Alan Hamilton cannot always be ruled out.Don't be silly, Catherine told herself, he's a married man.All patients feel this way about the psychoanalyst.But no matter how Catherine explained it to herself, it didn't work.Maybe it's time for me to ask another psychoanalyst to treat my complex with this psychoanalyst. Two days later, she was going to see Alan again.Maybe I should call off the appointment, Catherine thought, lest I get too deep.But it was too late.
This morning, it was the time agreed with Allen.Catherine dressed carefully and went to the beauty room to make up.After today, as long as I don't see him again, Catherine thought, it doesn't hurt me to look good.
As soon as she stepped into his office, her determination had long since evaporated.Why does he have to be so attractive?Why couldn't we meet before he got married?Why didn't he know me when I was normal and sane?But on the other hand, if I had been normal, I wouldn't have come to him in the first place.Right? "Sorry, what did you say?" Catherine realized that she had sounded out without knowing it.It was time to tell him that this was her last visit. She took a deep breath. "Ellen..." Then, her determination evaporated.She glanced at the photo on the coffee table and asked, "How long have you been married?" "Married?" He followed Catherine's gaze. "Oh, that's my sister and her son." Catherine felt a sudden ecstasy all over her body. "Oh, that's wonderful! I mean, she's... she's so good looking." "Are you all right, Catherine?" Kirk Reynolds used to ask her that all the time.Back then, I had problems, she thought, but not anymore. "I'm fine," she said. "Aren't you married?" "No." can you have dinner with mecan you take me to sleepcan you have meIf she said it out loud, he would really think she was crazy.Maybe, I'm crazy. He frowned and looked at her. "Catherine, I'm afraid we can't go on talking like this. Today is the last day." Catherine's heart sank suddenly. "Why? What did I do..." "No, that... that's not your fault. In this professional relationship, it would be inappropriate for a doctor to have any emotional entanglements with his patients." At this time, she stared at him closely, her eyes sparkling. "You mean, you're already emotionally involved with me?" "Yes. And because of that, I'm afraid..." "You're so right," she said cheerfully. "Let's talk about it at dinner tonight."
They had dinner at an Italian bistro in the center of Saha.It doesn't matter if the food is good or bad.They were all absorbed in each other. "That's not fair, Ellen," said Catherine. "You know me all too well. Tell me about yourself. You've never been married?" "No. But I was engaged." "and then?" "It was during the war years. We lived together in a small apartment. During the days of the Blitz, I worked in a hospital. One night, when I came home..." Catherine could hear the mournful emotion in his words. "...the house no longer exists. Nothing remains." She took his hand. "Sorry." "It took me a long time to recover. I never met anyone else I wanted." And his eyes said, except you. They sat there for four hours, talking about everything—theatre, medicine, the state of the world.But nothing was really said.There was an electric connection between the two of them, and each felt that there was an irresistible sexual impulse between them. Finally, Allen spoke up. "Catherine, what I said this morning about the doctor-patient relationship..." "Come to your room and tell me."
They undressed together, in such a hurry that they couldn't wait.As Catherine undresses, she recalls how she felt when she was with Kirk Reynolds.It's completely different now.The difference is love, she thought, I'm in love with him. She lay on the bed, waiting for him.When he came to him and hugged her, all her uneasiness, all her fears, and even the worry that she would never be able to be with a man again, all disappeared.They caressed each other's bodies, exploring first lightly, tenderly, then like a storm, until their desires became frantic and desperate.I am whole again, Catherine thought happily, thank you. They lay there, exhausted.Catherine hugged Alan tightly, not wanting to let go for a moment. When she caught her breath, she said in a trembling voice, "You must know how to treat a patient, doctor."