Chapter 5 4. Depressed tonight

Like a stylus across a record, every movement of that woman is engraved on my heart.For me who suffers in the record room every weekend, she should have feelings.But she was able to smile without even noticing it.Before I knew it, my line of sight became the tip of a needle, constantly portraying her.So that soft skin flowed out a sweet and soft tune, dancing with other men in front of my eyes.I cursed "bitch" in my heart, interrupted the delusion at the same time, put on white gloves, selected the record, and started to play.It was a brilliant evening dedicated to that group - "Dark Tonight".

Around eleven o'clock on a Friday evening, Caddis found his eyes wandering among the guests.He broke out in a cold sweat in panic because of his honest behavior.He hoped no one else noticed his gaffe.He'd had that thought for a long time, and it changed his expression, his dress, his attitude, and he felt it himself.He is no longer the vulgar boy he used to be.A pair of white Adidas sneakers were worn under the tuxedo, and a bow tie was tied around the neck but let it hang down to his chest. In this way, he did not know when he learned how to be free and easy in this kind of place.The pierced gold earrings swaying with life between the earphones and ears as they carefully selected records in the record room mesmerized the frequent female guests.In order to avoid those annoying fiery eyes, he rolled his eyes, but that little gesture became "chic" in the woman's heart.

I want to sing, please play O.J. Jones.The women who came to the back of the record booth stood still in bewilderment because Cadiz had dismissed them by surprise with just an OK.They wear costumes with slits down to the hips just to order a song.I don't know when it started, they gave him a nickname - "Bing".Despite what the women called him, he would sometimes take out beautiful women to prove that he wasn't gay, or a piece of ice, and make the other women even more angry. Cadiz felt his disobedient gaze suddenly fixed on a certain point.Fuck it again!He quietly and unobtrusively bit his lower lip to prevent depression, depression and joy from bursting out.

Denise skillfully avoided Cadiz's sight and walked to the table.No matter how many guests there are, the staff will always reserve a seat for her.The people in the shop seemed reluctant to let her join the group of women standing next to the wall with a wine glass in one hand, tapping the heels of their high-heeled shoes on the floor in rhythm. However, there is no need for that man to sit down too!Cadiz cursed bitterly.What's more, it was a table that could be seen at a glance from his own position.Well, what's the point of letting that woman stand by the wall?This woman who seduces me and can swallow me whole from the bone to the bone!Cadiz glared at the man who was slightly older than himself and escorted the perfect Denise.The women around sighed.Where is my indifference?Aren't the fingers in the white gloves rubbing the records so hot and painful?Everything around has changed, only the inside of the chest under the tuxedo is still exactly the same as it was four years ago.

At that time four years ago, would I be able to pity the fragrance and cherish the jade?The answer is YES.I hate a person like that, and then fall in love with the other person; I still cherish and remember the season when I hurt others and hurt myself.I probably won't hurt women anymore because I don't want to be hurt myself.After the years with Denise, I grew wiser.I learned to keep silent.I know how to let myself have fun without worries. Four years ago, Cadiz had a crush on Denise.For a novice DJ who hasn't yet mastered the beat, he's bold enough to terrify the colorful race outside the recording world.A woman holding a wine glass judges a man with a cigarette dangling from his bright red lips.Men know what a woman's gaze means, so they put out their cigarettes in a pose, turn up their jacket collars, and deliberately cover their sexy lips.There are certain rules when men and women choose each other, but they are completely overturned here.The women never waited. The man they picked with their eyes quietly half-kneeled at the woman's feet, put his arm around the woman's shoulder and asked, "Do you want me?"

Cadiz observed all living beings through a large piece of glass.Guests treated fledgling disc jockeys as music machines, and staged grisly dramas a few feet from the glass: men throwing their wives on seats, hanging out with women outside a make-up artist.A woman who took off her panties in front of the record booth at some point.Underpants look like a handkerchief in the dark.A woman who behaves like a lady at the table and utters obscenities in order to have an affair with a man. ... Naturally, Cadiz knew who had sex with whom, who betrayed whom...etc.Clutching and reunion is really hard work.Cadiz muttered while busy selecting the tune.He didn't yet know that "hard work" was necessary for adult survival.At that time he could not even appreciate the sweetness of wine.Even if he knew women, a child who couldn't appreciate the taste of fine wine certainly couldn't appreciate the intricate pleasures between men and women. He was always so lonely in the record room that seemed to be a big glass case.

Denise was already with John Larry.They always came arm in arm; but they always left after arguing.However, they were known to live together and would always return to the same bed after a quarrel, so no one dissuaded them.Cadiz also regarded their quarrel as one of many incidents of jealousy and ignored it.It looked like their relationship had been going on for a long time, and he was well aware that it was a way of avoiding the tedium of being together for a long time. So Caddis was less interested in it than the record in front of him when John Larry left Denise that night.It started again.He - drank a drink to soothe his throat; while muttering something.

For a moment Denise smoked with an angry expression on her face.But soon she got tired of it, and began to shake her feet in boredom, and sighed with her cheeks on her hands.It's annoying, is anyone going to dance with me?Her whole being showed that, desperately trying to show that she was alone at the moment, there was an opportunity to take advantage of it. Sure enough, several men invited her to dance separately.As if relieved, she began to dance with the man.Amidst the noise, men came to her ear, blatantly, knowingly trying to seduce John Larry's woman.Lovely Denise.All the men who come and go here have the same opinion.Still, John Larry was a lovely fellow.Although they intended to take advantage of it at the first opportunity, none of them really wanted to abduct Denise.

Cadiz surveyed the dance floor to see if the guests liked the piece he had chosen.His eyes stopped on Denise who was dancing in this direction. That is Denise.He whispered extremely calmly in his heart.In any case, his focus was on Denise.He wanted to shift his gaze to look at the table, but his gaze went against his wish, as if it was fixed, and he couldn't leave Daisy no matter what.what the hell is it?He was startled by the surprise on his face. Denise is so charming.In the past, he took this fact for granted, just like Maggie D's hamburger tastes better than Burger King's, tooth powder should choose Topol brand, etc., it belongs to the fact of daily knowledge.However, seeing her dancing with a man other than John Larry brought a special meaning to Cadiz's consciousness.

Denise's attire is far from gorgeous, she always looks for clothes that fit well and exude a sexy atmosphere.The chest of the dress was not open, but designed to reveal her voluptuous shoulders.The loose black cloth wraps her body in good "taste", setting off the towering breasts and graceful waist. Cadiz stared at the dancing Denise with his mouth open like a fool.Is that enough?How stupid.His rationality made him feel ashamed, but he couldn't help himself and just continued to look at her.Why do you keep staring at her?He felt that the uncontrollable gaze was useless, and he felt a feeling of remorse that made him want to cry.He gradually realized that love is something more than his physical and emotional self.

Denise kept dancing with various men in a desperate mood.It seemed that the gap created between himself who was smiling happily and the man who smiled back made him too comfortable. It's a hypocritical world anyway, she thought.Everyone loves John Larry and wants to comfort poor me after the quarrel.Maybe a few people deliberately wanted to sleep with me, but they didn't dare to really do it. Most of them were sympathetic.At the same time they knew that I would be back in John's bed, so they felt safe.It takes a lot of courage and effort to seduce a new woman who belongs to someone else into bed. For a moment, Denise glanced blankly into the air.Under the extremely tiny field, she captured Cadiz's subtle and stubborn sight.oops!Really.She finally found out that there was a blatant desire for her in the record room.Besides, that desire came from an attractive body, and the director of this attractive body just let his eyes stare at him in panic?Is there anything more exciting for a woman? Cadiz found that his eyes met Denise's.But he still couldn't move his whole body, he had forgotten that there was a glass barrier in front of him.Ah, what should I do?How can I move my body?How can I turn my eyes away? "Hey! Are you not serious? Fuck it!" The man's roar made Cadiz finally come back to his senses.Take a closer look, and on the dance floor where the music has stopped, guests are cursing him for being a poor disc jockey.He even forgot the basic rule of uninterrupted, piece by piece. Cadiz hastily turned down the lights on the dance floor and put on a slow-tempo tune.The guests protested; they began to cling to the lover's body.Cadiz breathed a sigh of relief and reached out to wipe away the cold sweat.The sweet love song between a man and a woman, and the moment when each other's lips are dyed with the same color lipstick, is his only rest time. In the darkness, I saw Denise's figure.Cadiz felt a bitter taste in his heart.That's why, he thought.No wonder his eyes stared at her so unceremoniously.Should have noticed earlier, he shook his head at his obtuseness.He must be staring at her in bewilderment, right? At that moment, a hand stretched out in the darkness, knocking on the glass in front of him.Cadiz thought that someone was asking for some music and raised his head, and he couldn't help but be surprised when he saw it.This time his eyes flicked from side to side in bewilderment.Smiling on the outside of the glass was Denise, whom he had just fallen in love with. Denise made various gestures and movements, opened and closed her lips, desperately trying to say something to Cadiz.He leaned out to hear what Denise was saying when she saw him for the first time.With a desperate look, he put one hand over his ear in a fan shape to show that he couldn't hear.After seeing that troubled expression, Denise still smiled helplessly, closed her eyes, and pressed her lips to the glass.As soon as he saw this kind of action, Cadiz didn't even think about it, and immediately started to act.He kissed Denise's lips through the glass, but the glass was as cold as iron. For the first time, he felt that the glass in front of him was really a big obstacle. Among the slow-dancing lovers, the two openly confessed their budding love.For the first time that morning Denise was not back in John Larry's bed. Not long after taking Denise for himself, Caddis finally understood why John Larry and her always quarreled when they came to the shop. She was the kind of woman who knew how to arouse a man's jealousy brilliantly.When he found out, it was too late.Cadiz had to constantly wrestle with the unbearable anger welling up in his heart, and the pangs of being aware of it. Denise never looked at a man other than Cadiz.When he was in the record room, she sat at the table in front of her, drinking alone and smiling.At that time, she was always playing with her beautiful fingers, the large earrings she liked to wear, dangling in the natural short hair.Regular male customers greet her when they pass by.Hi Denise, how are you doing?Of course it is very good, the mood is wonderful.How about you? At that time, her moist eyes squinted at the other party, and then immediately returned to her indifferent expression, and began to drink.Cadiz felt his heart beating unpleasantly.He didn't understand why he had this mentality.Doesn't Denise impeccably act like a disc jockey lover?When Cadiz's friends asked her to dance because they were afraid that she would be bored alone, she just smiled apologetically and shook her head politely.Even if someone didn't know the relationship between Cadiz and her and tried to buy her a glass of wine and sit on the chair next door, she firmly refused.Sorry, my love is in the record room. If so, why are you so jealous?Cadiz began to envy everything about her.However, all that was not caused by her willingly, so Cadiz began to hate herself.He couldn't forgive any man who looked at Denise, and he didn't understand anything she said to other men—even if it was rejection. Cadiz believes that everything about Denise belongs to him completely.Although this is a fact that everyone in the store knows, he still thinks so stubbornly.He couldn't help himself, and sometimes he would come out of the record room to question her, and at that time, she would look up at him in bewilderment.At that time, she seemed to have no intention of seducing other men at all, her big clear eyes were moist, pure and beautiful.Seeing those eyes, Cadiz was filled with regret.do you know?I am your woman.Denise's eyes said so.Cadiz hurriedly hugged her to apologize. Jealous of Denise for no reason.Her trancelike appearance led his mind into a thick fog of uneasiness.And that was just an unintentional diversion she made while waiting to be alone with Cadiz. I am the one who loves Denise.Denise loved me too.Caddis turned the record with his palm; he kept reminding himself in an attempt to calm himself down.Only I know how "nice" she is.He had a sense of superiority that he was the only one who knew Denise's true charm.And the incident disturbed him.He doesn't understand, doesn't understand that Denise is the kind of dangerous woman who can easily give men a sense of superiority, and can easily take it away.Perhaps the word "lose" is more appropriate than "take away", because she always has no other thoughts, and loves a man wholeheartedly. Denise is a woman who can make a man jealous just by sitting there.Men who have experienced it are often selfishly jealous, wrapped around their legs and unable to move. She stared dreamily at the dance floor.Cadiz was jealous and jumped up to find out which man she was looking at.In fact, though, she wasn't looking at all.She only thought about the bed games she had with Cadiz last night, or longed for the carnal taste a few hours later.Cadiz is always in pain.He never dreamed that the object of his jealousy was Denise's own self. The quarrel over Cadiz's pain, and the ensuing febrile love with its repeated fiery love, finally came to an end one night. Denise is getting tired of Cadiz's crazy love.That's no different than what happened to John Larry.She didn't understand why she made men so jealous.Don't you always love a man bravely and wholeheartedly?The reasons for this were beyond her imagination, and she should not take any responsibility for it.Her love for Cadiz was the same as before.But she is very tired.So when she went to the dressing room, it would have to take some time to break free from the man who was tangled in the hallway, and there was no way. At that moment, Cadiz didn't know what he was doing.When he woke up, Denise had already fallen on the floor rubbing her cheeks.He looked at his numb hands, the white gloves stained with blood from Denise's cracked lips.The man next to him picked up the weeping Denise.Cadiz stood there involuntarily, not knowing how to repair the broken relationship caused by his impulsiveness.Denise whimpered and clutched the man's arm, saying, "Please, please take me out, I'm tired of him." For the next four years, Cadiz never saw Denise again.He left the hotel full of memories and went to work at another club.Without Denise, he couldn't care less about anything.Spinning the turntable unnaturally, making all kinds of natural sounds, skillfully using polite words, focusing on being a style connoisseur.These things became the foundation of his life, made women gather around him, and also enabled him to calmly recall the moments between himself and Denise one by one. One day, he found that his eyes were fixed in one place like four years ago and he couldn't move away. He couldn't help being stunned, fuck, it's finally here, his heart couldn't help muttering. Denise was as elegant and beautiful as that time, with a pure look, on the chair the man pulled out for her.Immediately afterwards, her lips asked for the sweet red wine that she used to ask for like a kiss. The man who brought her was much older, and he seemed to have been liberated from childish enthusiasm and to be able to taste love in bed from another angle.He belonged to a generation that could love a woman well without suffering unnecessary pain like jealousy.He stared at Denise with a smile on his face all the time. Four years should make her smarter, right?Find a man who can make you live a comfortable life by yourself.Cadiz has also become smarter, so is there still unnecessary irritability?He was absolutely calm.He knows that he has become extremely intelligent.He has no shortage of opportunities to learn how to iron a woman's mind and body.He is confident that no one can hurt him anymore, and he is also very happy to slowly develop the confidence that he will never hurt others again. Therefore, when Denise came over surprised to see him in the record room, he could look at her calmly. "I heard that the nickname of the Disc Knight here is Ice Cube, I thought who it was! Cadiz, you have become awesome." Denise poked her head from the back of the record room as if she was nostalgic.After a brief exchange of greetings to meet again, they gazed into each other's faces.At first, Cadiz, who had dealt with Denise in a slightly indifferent tone, had to loosen his tightly pursed lips when he saw her innocent appearance, which was so happy that he couldn't help it. "Can you choose a song as a gift for me and my husband? It's best to be a sweet and soft slow song." OK.He squeezed his eyes and answered chicly, but his heart was obviously shaken.I see, are you married? "I thought 'Ice Cube' didn't suit your personality at all, but now you are indeed an excellent 'Ice Cube'." Cadiz didn't know whether he should thank her or not, so he hesitated for a while before turning to the back, while Denise had already returned to the table, kissing her husband's ear. Denise had frequented that club since that evening.Sometimes she is accompanied by her husband who looks at her tenderly; sometimes she drinks alone the year before last and then goes home alone. Cadiz, horrified at the indifference—or should it be called greatness—of a husband who had left his charming wife alone, guarded Denise.He began to like the husband with whom he had talked from Zhu.Whenever he saw Denise sitting alone, he praised the husband in his heart.You've got style, man, the best way to deal with a woman is to let her go and let her play.In this way, both parties will feel very happy.He thought so, and at the same time, he was very relieved that he was far more mature than he was four years ago.Therefore, when she had drunk a little too much and was a little unsteady on her feet, he offered to take her home out of sheer affection for her husband.If you get entangled by a suspicious man on the way home alone, isn't that great and generous man very pitiful?Denise quickly accepted his proposal. Tens of minutes later, in the car, Cadiz's body greatly violated his conscience, and he stroked the inside of Denise's panties with his fingers. He was very angry with himself for doing this.There was no such intention in the first place!Several times, he tried to escape.But Denise's unrepentant sigh pinned him on the spot.Just like the moment he fell in love with Denise, he couldn't control himself.His desire manipulated his fingers and lips, making Denise sigh with pleasure.Ah, Denise is still so beautiful after all.It was his only feeling, "You're just like an ice cube, please, please melt that ice cube." Cadiz listened silently to what Denise said.Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, you want my performance to be the same as before, but unfortunately I can't do it now.As far as Ge, I have already stayed away from it.It also saves people from crying, he retorted in his heart.Then he found himself biting the bullet and enduring it, and couldn't help but panic. He quickly started the engine while looking at Denise.She lazily tidied up her messy clothes and straightened her pantyhose.There was that irresponsible smile on her face as she made these gestures. Cadiz felt the familiar feeling well up in his heart again.This is dangerous!I finally forgot all the past.He was very disturbed, so he looked out of the car. Denise didn't pay attention to Cadiz's appearance at all. She picked up the earrings that fell under the seat, and put them into the pierced ears calmly. After putting on the earrings, she reapplied lipstick and sprayed perfume on the inner thighs.After dressing up properly, he leisurely started smoking. "Marriage is sometimes inconvenient, and it's nice to be able to make a man feel at ease; but sometimes when you feel depressed or sad, you can't feel at ease looking for another partner." "Isn't your husband very nice?" "Caddis, you don't understand. No matter which man you are with, you may have troubles at any time. However, I feel very good. It makes me feel very happy to be like you today." Just a little effort.After parking the car in front of Denise's house and letting her get out of the car, Cadiz repeatedly choked on Denise's words.Hearing the sound of brakes at the door, Denise's husband came out to meet her.He solemnly thanked the club staff who kindly sent his drunken wife home, and then lightly reprimanded his wife who was not worthy of such pampering.Cadiz finally understood what Denise wanted to express.She must be indulging in a calm and warm love without quarrels, and she is not used to it.Sudden great happiness, sometimes it does make people feel troubled and depressed. Cadiz doesn't blame her anymore, it's a good thing to be able to see other people's happiness, at least he has this kind of heart.But why did the tears ooze out?It seemed that the ice attached to the surface of the body was slowly melting. He parked the car and leaned over the wheel, shit, he thought.It is hard for me to cultivate the wisdom of adults.But this is helpless.Denise's body was as warm as it was four years ago.Love is indeed a habit, and memory is hard to stop.However, I don't want to cause her pain again, and I don't want my white gloves to be stained with blood again. After their new relationship with Cadiz, Daisy came to the club with the same look.Sometimes alone, sometimes with the husband.When her husband was present, she made absolutely no intimacy with Cadiz.However, when she came alone for a drink, she would occasionally leave a note in Cuddis's hand, pretending to order some music in the record room.Pretending to be extremely calm, he saw the note, on which it was written cursively: "I'll wait for you. When this place closes, go to a cross street. Dear Bing, can you help me?" Therefore, he loved her body with half despair and half admiration; at the same time, he kept as much as possible the restraint of an old friend. On nights when Denise did not come, he dodged the sight of the women who surrounded him like flies; he concentrated on the connection between the first tunes.He was so enthusiastic about his work, the manager nodded in satisfaction when he saw his appearance.He delegated the schmoozing to others while he burrowed in the record room.When it was closing time, when all the guests were gone, he shouted that he was tired; while taking off his gloves. , the young waiter brought him a glass of expensive wine; at the same time, he winked at him, indicating that it was free. Today is the end of the day again, and the weekend is still some time away.Thinking, Cadiz drank the wine in the glass.Alcohol scorched his throat, drunkenness spread through his body.I don't know when it started, but he thought it was mellow.When the hot liquid slid down his throat, he frowned; at the same time, he felt indifferently that what doesn't hurt a woman often hurts a man.