Chapter 11 Chapter Eleven The Three Musketeers

Marriage is certainly Mother Nature's way of marketing masturbation.It's just that I always thought masturbation was like dancing without music. I emailed Jess about my woes, and she replied- You're too young for the pope to call and tell you the secrets of chastity.You need a little boy, might as well take it into consideration, think about it. I started thinking, and thinking often. For example, when I'm lying on my stomach on a massage table at the gym, enjoying an oil pressure massage from a burly masseur, I wonder if I'm going to do what some fat businessman does, flip over to the front, and say, "I'm going to have some extra of'!"

Then, when the gym teacher at school told us a joke in the teachers' office, I thought about it too. She said: "You know why married women are more likely to put on weight than unmarried women? Because when unmarried women come home, they look at the refrigerator and then go to bed; but married women come home and look at the bed, um. . . . and walked over to the refrigerator." Then I saw a report on the state of the marriage in the Guardian, and I thought about it too. According to their survey, 42 percent of women said they often want to leave with other men, half of women wish they had never married, and one-third of women find sex life boring.

I was thinking about it when I woke up crying, only to realize I hadn't slept at all.I had nightmares where I was gnashing my teeth and then realized I was awake and just living the nightmare. I was still thinking about it when I went to visit my parents. In England, the father may have to be searched for at the bottom or the farthest reaches of the garden, as for the elves of the woods.My mother called the tool shed built in the corner of the garden my father's "death waiting room," where he would hide for hours. "Occasionally I check to see if he's still breathing," my mother said.

I was with my father, who was pickling at home like a pickle and barely leaving the house, by the side of his tool shed in the freezing cold wind, watching the fire of the dying barbecue grill, when my father suddenly announced Today is my wedding anniversary. "Come on, Roy, come and kiss your lovely bride." I have been deliberately avoiding this topic. If Roy remembered this, it would be the biggest surprise of this day! And in case he remembers, all I'll get is that frustrating, bestial sex act in the name of celebration, aka "The Hand," later on, remember? (Mom can't stand it, but can't be a mom without it!)

The only person who noticed that I was getting smaller, anchored by anxiety, and overwhelmed was my mother. "I need to make a change," I told her. "Needs some stimulation ... and I'm not talking about going to the cathedral of San Diego to confess, or going boating on a fast-moving river." She advised me to throw myself into work.I followed her advice and spent the next week scrambling to write term papers. However, because I was so upset, on two occasions, I almost wrote the truth to my parents. One time: do not let this child be born under any circumstances. Another time was aimed at the most neurotic student in the school. I said to his father: Please go for a sterilization, this kind of child must never appear on the earth again!

After the lunch break on Friday, the children cascade down the hallway, each looking mischievous, and I feel that work can indeed let me put my marital dilemma aside. It would be great if I could also put the principal aside!But he was striding toward me, the waistband of his trousers tucked high in front of his chest, and the hems of his trousers were turned up so low that they didn't even reach his ankles. "Come to my office!" His voice was ominous, and if he had a chin it would have stuck it out. As soon as I sat down across from his desk, he immediately asked me, why should I let him be the victim of "teacher's office rumors"?

I said that I must first understand what this sentence means before I know how to answer it. "Did you really say to Mr. Reisinger that his child was originally bright, but education made him stupid?" If the power company could effectively collect the vapors from his five sense organs, London's energy shortage problem would be solved immediately . "Uh...yeah, I really think Jasper could learn more from home mentoring..." "Do you know how much damage this will do to the image of the school? Is your intention really to 'build the confidence of the students' as a starting point?"

Mr. Shi Hao likes to talk about words, and he would describe sex as "in-school class cooperation", hybrid meeting as "extracurricular group activity", his wedding anniversary as "annual review of core competition", and his children as "products of effective planning". , and if someone divorces, it is "emotional downsizing". "Uh……" "I think your overly critical grade standards should be reassessed." And I think you should take action to improve chronic bad breath - I really wanted to answer that, but of course I just smiled docilely.

If there was a competition in the Olympic Games who is more pitiful, I would have won three gold medals long ago!real! "The inspector has repeatedly pointed out that your teaching techniques are very innovative, but we can't stray too far from the curriculum. I had a round table with the registrar and we came to the conclusion that you should listen to someone who is more...understanding the norms while giving You have some suggestions." I wish an asteroid would fall and hit him directly, and we'd have a round table about whether he's the most goddamn guy in the world.

"What advice?" My hair is on its feet, ready to fight. "Mrs. Pender generously offered to take a look at your teaching plan first to make sure it complies with school policy and curriculum. She may be your opponent, but she is willing to share the fountain of knowledge with you. How kind!" I need a strong drink, please give me a fountain of knowledge with many stones, thank you. And so, for the next week, I had to put up with Padida digging into my lesson plan. "Never forget, Caesandra, that you are unique, just like everyone else." How did Padida not notice her oxymoron?

What's even more frightening is that the school actually assigned her to take charge of the "Free Day". This was originally a relaxing time for the children to move around freely, for the teacher to take a break, or to concentrate on making up for the behind-the-scenes teaching plans, but Padida actually asked everyone to play games to connect with each other. "What game shall we play first?" She murmured like a bird to a group of sullen teachers. I looked at the headmaster in disgust and thought: How about a game of sticking a wig on a bald head with a tack? Wow!This plan to devote myself to work has been so rewarding that I would rather regain my anxieties about my private life! Who doesn't know that work is a painful and annoying thing, but it's ridiculous, why do people put the word work and marriage together? And look, the English word for asking people "whether your marriage is happy" turns out to be: Is your marriage work? Marriage and work are simply incompatible! "It's all set up, we're going on a date as a couple." Jess tossed the car keys into the air, kicked up her legs in her mini leather skirt, her eyes gleaming with something bad she was about to do. I couldn't take my eyes off her beautiful and moving appearance.How I want to be Jess, the kind of girl who never fails her, who always knows how much to tip, what to say, and how to cross her legs so that she knows Every man just wants to open them up. "You should do some extracurricular activities too, Hannah." Jess bent over Hannah's refrigerator, her delicate ass dangling like a necklace pendant. "While we are still young, the Three Musketeers attack together." Hannah's shoulders were so high that they almost touched the earlobe, and she said proudly: "You may only be young once, but don't be immature all your life." "Hannah suggested I go to marriage counseling," I said with mock ease. "Marriage counseling?" Jess flinched. "Are you crazy?" "That's the most common reason people see a therapist," I replied discouraged. "Going into marriage counseling because your marriage is going downhill is like... I don't know, like the coyote in the cartoon with the branch trying to stop the train from rushing by." "I don't think I need counseling, which is a sign that I really need counseling." Hannah's tone was as cold as ice, and she had almost become commonplace in speaking like this. Listening to them insisting on opposing opinions and arguing about my life noisily, my head was like a fish thrown onto the shore, its gills puffed out, struggling hard to die.I took turns looking at my good friends and found myself once again the slice of ham in a friendship sandwich, left and right. "What do you think?" They both asked me in unison. I don't want to join the sad ranks of middle-aged cheating women, and I don't want to find a marriage counselor. There are thousands of professional services in the world, and clients who only have this one must have made a mistake. One thing's for sure, though, the vows say "share the joy and share the pain," and Roy and I are definitely past the happy stage, now there's only pain, and I'd better do something fast. As for how should I choose between the two friends?Not deciding became the best decision.

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