Chapter 109 Section 12

It was time to go, and the time was frustratingly fast.As it approached 9 o'clock, the night was getting darker.Decker told Esperanza: "The last flight of the night will be landing at Albuquerque soon, and we can't wait any longer. Do you think you can do the rest of the preparations yourself? " The cool night air cooled Esperanza's breath, and the steam from his mouth was clearly visible. "How long do you want?" "Wait for us around midnight." "I'll be ready. You better not forget this." Esperanza handed him the carry-on case that had previously contained the million dollars, now containing old newspapers they found in the cabin.The money was in a duffel bag at Esperanza's feet.

"Yeah," Decker said, "if Renata thinks I don't have the money, the plan won't work." "It's the same if I'm not with you," said Beth. "That's true," Decker said. "If Renata sees we're not together, she'll wonder why we're separated. She'll start to wonder if I'm letting you hide where there's no danger. And lure her into a trap." "When you think about it," said Beth, "I always thought you decided to bring me because you were happy to have me. I still think so when I'm here."

That statement made Decker feel like he'd been pricked with a needle.Was her joke meant well, or—he didn't know what to say, so he helped her sit in the front seat and pushed the seat back a bit so that there was more room for her injured leg, and then he Put her crutches back.Finally, when he sat down beside her and closed the car door, he remembered what to say. "If only we could get through this...if only we could understand each other..." "I think we've gotten to know each other." "But who do I know? Are you Beth Dwyer or Diana Scolari?" "Haven't you ever used a pseudonym?"

Decker didn't know how to answer again.He started the Buick and nodded nervously at Esperanza.The car made a 180-degree turn in the clearing, the headlights shining through the dense pine forest.He drove down the lane, crossed the bridge, and took the deserted road to Pex.They are on their way. Neither of them spoke until they were back on Interstate 25, through Santa Fe, on their way to Albuquerque. "Ask me," said Beth. "ask……?" "Anything, everything." Her voice was agitated. "The scope of this order is huge." "Damn, try it. When we got to the airport, I wondered where we were with each other."

Decker picked up speed, passing a pick-up truck, trying to stay within 75 mph. "A relationship doesn't last on its own," Beth said. "You have to work hard to keep it." "Okay." Decker hesitated, focusing his eyes on the dark road where cars were speeding past, feeling as if he was in a tunnel. "You once told me something about your childhood. You said that your parents fought so badly that you were afraid that your father would break into your bedroom and kill you while you were asleep. You said you arranged the pillows as if you were lying Like under the sheets, then slept under the bed so he'd hit those pillows and not catch you...is that story true?"

"Yes. You suspect that I made up a story to make you think you should protect me?" Decker didn't answer. Beth grew more and more apprehensive.She frowned. "Is that what you think—people want to use you?" "I used to think that way—before coming to Santa Fe." "And now your old habits die hard." "Suspicion kept me alive. In fact, if I'd kept up my old habits, if I hadn't let my guard down..." He didn't like the conclusion his reasoning was going to reach, and he stopped short. "You wouldn't love me. Is that what you were trying to say?"

"I didn't say that. I don't know what I want to say. If I didn't fall in love with you, Renata would still hunt me down. This won't change. I..." All kinds of chaotic thoughts tormented With Decker. "But I do love you, and if I could go back and do it all over again, if I could change the past..." "how?" "I'm going to do everything again the same way." Beth exhaled, clearly audibly. "So you believe me." "Everything comes down to trust." "And sincerity," said Beth. Decker's hands on the steering wheel ached. "Deep sincerity."