Chapter 65 Section VII

Decker stared out the rear window in the Ford Taurus that Hal and Ben had rented when they drove up from Albuquerque earlier that day, trying to suppress the pain.That seemed to be an eternity.Through the rear window, he sees the receding vista—the Blood of Christ Mountains, the yellowing aspens on the ski basin, the adobe houses nestled in the hills, patches of dwarf pine and larch, and the high desert The crimson sunset.It was the first time he had left Santa Fe since he arrived more than a year ago.Oh, he'd driven out of town before--to go fishing, or to go boating on the white water, or to go hiking in Dawes.But the places he visited in those days were not far from Santa Fe, and they were short-lived anyway, and he knew he would be back soon.

But now he was really leaving—he didn't know how long he would be going, and he didn't know if he could really come back.Of course he wanted to come back, from the bottom of his heart, the sooner he came back the better.But the question is, can he come back?Could the search into which he had thrown lead to unforeseen dangers from which he would never return?He has flown numerous missions in the Special Armed Forces and later as an intelligence agent.He survived these missions in part because of his class ability, which allowed him to discern between acceptable danger and recklessness.But as a professional agent, it is far from enough to rely on training, experience, and ability to make judgments. A special attitude is also required-maintaining a balance between a sense of responsibility and objective circumstances.Decker resigned from the intelligence agency precisely because he had lost his sense of responsibility and was tired of the objective situation in which he felt so isolated and helpless.But now he knows he has a responsibility on his shoulders, a responsibility greater than he has ever carried in his life.He must find Beth, this kind of decision is devoted wholeheartedly, comes from emotion, is infatuated and persistent.His love for her was eternal, she was the focus of his life, and he would risk anything to find her.

Was it any danger, he asked himself?His answer was without hesitation, yes.Because if he couldn't find Beth, if he couldn't get rid of the pent-up tension, he couldn't do anything.His life would lose its meaning, he would lose his way. He looked wistfully at the side window of the Taurus, watching the crimson of the setting sun gradually deepen, almost turning blood red.At this time, he heard Hal who was sitting in the front row say something, calling his name. "what?" "People here always drive like crazy, or is it just because it's a festive weekend?"

"It's not just the holiday weekend, the traffic here is always so overwhelming," said Decker, who wasn't all about the conversation. "I think New York and Los Angeles drivers are scary enough, but I've never seen them drive like that. They're right behind my rear bumper at 65 mph. I can see it in the rearview mirror. Saw them staring at me for not doing 80 mph. They swerved into the passing lane without a signal, then swerved back into the lane I was in without a signal, and this time almost ran into my front bumper. Then they go straight ahead at full speed and squeeze the next car. Yes, they squeeze you in New York and Los Angeles, but that's because the cars are next to each other. Here, I have big front and rear space, but they still squeeze you. What the hell is going on?"

Decker didn't answer.He was gazing out the rear window at the receding hills and adobe houses.He began to feel as though he were falling behind them as the driveway flashed by.The Taurus will then begin their drive up toward the summit of Mount La Bayada, after which they will head south downhill to Albuquerque, 2,000 feet below the summit. "That man might not be home Saturday night," Hal said. "Then I'll just wait for him to come back," Decker said. "We're all waiting for him," Ben said. Decker was so moved that he could barely speak. "Thanks, I hope so."

"But I don't know how long I can hold off on headquarters," Hal said. "You guys have been a great help." "Maybe. We'll see soon if what I've learned is really helpful." While they were still in Santa Fe, Hal drove to a pay phone booth and checked his boss's computer network for information.This network is surreptitiously linked to a repository of information on all citizens of the United States.After a while, Hal learned that there were several blue Chevrolet Cavaliers for lease at the Albuquerque Airport, but all of them were rented out before Thursday, September 1st, and only one except.This one was indeed rented out on September 1, at 10:13 a.m., but the renter's name was not Dale Hawkins, as Decker had hoped, but Randolph Green, and his The address also doesn't match Dale Hawkins' case, not in or near New York, but right in Albuquerque.

"Randolph Green." Hal had already driven far away from Santa Fe, and they were about to reach the top of the mountain. "In your opinion, who is he?" "Also, why would a guy who lives in Albuquerque rent a car at the airport?" Decker looked away from the fading crimson sunset. "That's what makes me think we're on the right track." "Or at least it's the only way to have a chance," said Ben. "But why didn't Beth tell his real name?" Decker shook his head.In a sense, the question was naive—he already knew part of the answer.She lied to him for the same reason.She didn't tell him that she knew she was the real target of last night's attack; for the same reason, she didn't tell him that Brian McKittrick would be waiting to pick her up on the Fort Connor Trail.Throughout her dealings with me, Decker thought, she had been hiding something.Our association itself was a deception.

No!He insisted that this would not be a hoax.So how can powerful emotion be a deception?If so, how could I not see the concealment in her eyes?How could I not have noticed the hesitation and posturing in her demeanor?I'm good at observing people, and she couldn't have fooled me.All the emotions she showed me were real, that tenderness, that passion, that thoughtfulness, that... Decker was about to use the word "love" when he suddenly realized that he couldn't recall a single time when Beth had told him explicitly that she loved him.