Chapter 26 Section VIII

Decker had been terrified many times, both during his service in Special Forces and later as a civilian intelligence agent—failed missions, unexpected threats—and never once had he been able to talk to him in the middle of the second night. Compared to the fear you feel when you wake up.His heart was pounding and he felt nauseous, his sweat-soaked T-shirt and boxer shorts clinging to him.For a moment he seemed to be engulfed in darkness, not knowing where he was.This is not a room at the La Fonda Hotel.But then he remembered that he had moved into a rental that Edna ran.It was even smaller than the apartment he had let out in Alexandria, but at least it was cheaper than a room at the La Fonda Hotel.The first principle at present is economy.

He felt parched and couldn't find the light switch.As he fumbled into the cramped bathroom to find a sink, his butt hit a table.It took him several glasses of water to quench his thirst.He groped his way to the window of the single room again and opened the double shutters.What appeared in front of him was not a spectacular landscape, but a car in the moonlight in the parking lot. He asked himself, what have I done?He started sweating again.I have never owned a large amount of property in my life, but I just signed papers committing to buy a $600,000 home for which I have to pay $120,000 in one lump sum and $42,000 a year in mortgage payments .Am I crazy?What would the Intelligence Agency think if they heard that I had actually invested in real estate?They would wonder what made me believe I could afford the money.In fact, I couldn't afford it, but they didn't know it.

Decker couldn't help but think of a recent scandal.An agent named Aldrich Eames sold secret information on the CIA's Moscow underground to the Russians in exchange for $2.5 million.The results were catastrophic - the operation was destroyed and agents were executed.It was several years before the CIA's counterintelligence agency began to suspect a double agent, and eventually focused its suspicions on Ames.Much to the intelligence agency's consternation, a team from the counterintelligence agency found that Ames had twice nearly failed a polygraph exam as part of a routine review, but the results were described as equivocal, and concluded in his favour.The group further learned that Eames had staggering investments in real estate — several vacation homes and a 10,000-acre ranch in South America; and that he had hundreds of thousands of dollars in separate bank accounts .Where did the money come from?Shortly thereafter, Ames and his wife were arrested on espionage charges.The CIA, which had already relaxed its surveillance of the private lives of its agents, is now taking strict new precautions.

I'm going to be a target for some of the measures, Decker told himself.Because of the attitude I gave when I resigned, they've sent someone to spy on me.Today I signed the document, which is like sounding the siren.First thing in the morning I'm going to call Langley and I have to explain what I'm doing. But Langley would think I was playing tricks.What exactly am I doing?Decker found a chair behind him and sank into it.The darkness around him oppressed him even more powerfully.He reminded himself that there was an exception clause in the house purchase contract I signed.When the inspector comes to inspect the house tomorrow, I will use the defects he raised as an excuse to get out of the contract.

right.I am too ambitious.Caution - that's what I need.Be steady, be careful, and avoid doing anything outside the norm.Control the speed and imagine various retreat plans.Stay out of the way.I must not be emotional. For God's sake, he told himself, isn't that what I've been living for the past 10 years?What I have just described is my life as a secret agent.He patted the arm of the chair.I've dealt with fear in the past.what would i lose chance of life. Three weeks later, he moved into that house.