Chapter 26 Chapter Thirteen

Jenny made it hard for Frank, so when she left, Frank cursed her, her father, mother, husband, and eighteen generations of ancestors severely.He knew Mrs. Murray well enough, he had seen her, and he was a frequent visitor to the house in Charles Street; but, for all that, it was embarrassing to attack her personally, and he was aware that such a In the future, I will also face unpleasant accusations.He shrugged and planned to visit her that afternoon and talk to her. "She'd probably ignore me until she was blue and too angry to speak," he murmured. Unknowingly Hilda Murray came to the parlour after lunch.It was a rainy and gloomy day, so she opened the curtains and turned on the lights.She enjoys the warmth and comfort of this room wantonly.The house is well furnished, not very original, but tastefully decorated.There are many, many of these apartments in genteel districts, with the same wide, chintz-covered chairs, Chippendale tables, and marquetry cabinets, and identical paintings on the walls.Rich but not ostentatious, art but not unconventional.Our vicar, Mr. Farley, came earlier, and flattered that a woman who inhabited such a room must be well behaved, and would appreciate the importance of a London clergyman.The affable Farley and Hilda had bonded quickly after their first meeting on Old Queen Street a year earlier.Protestants generally considered voluntary love between men and women legitimate; Farley also made a good marriage central to his parish activity.Hilda was beautiful and wealthy, and her birth was worthy of a Christian priest.Mr. Farley believed that Hilda would not be indifferent if he showed his gallantry.He was determined to give up his imperfect state of single bliss, rolling down like a ripe apple under this beautiful, gorgeous window.Tell her tales of robberies and raids, close escapes, and enterprising adventures, as Othello with Desdemona loves.Farley mentions charity and sales work, the chores of meeting church deacons, and the recent resurgence of the tradition of hiring maids by the day.Hilda showed great interest in Catholicism and was willing to donate a whole set of prayer mats to the church.Then, as the priest said, there would be no reason for the devout to kneel in prayer; then she agreed to set up a stall in the market--for a new organ; her sky crossed A lightning bolt of fraternity, which she has been tirelessly passionate about ever since.These things bind them closely together and provide them with endless talk.Mr. Farley, a self-proclaimed eloquent, said it would be contrary to his principles if their intercourse was limited to business.Cultural needs have not been forgotten either.He lent Hilda books, took her to galleries, to exhibitions, sometimes they read Tennyson together, sometimes they went to the theater and talked about the moral dimension of English theatre.On fine mornings they often study the Italian masters in Trafalgar Square, or the Elgin Marbles in the British Museum.Mr. Farley is very knowledgeable and can tell historical details about each artwork or amusing anecdotes about them; while Hilda has a woman's passion for listening to lectures and ultimately finds Mr. Farley a delight. Good teacher and helpful friend.She hadn't yet encountered anything that would thrill the heart beneath her spotless silk waistcoat, though; and now, however, she found that their conversation was beginning to unknowingly extend to issues they hadn't touched before. .Mr. Farley was not to be shy, so he finally made up his mind to get straight to the point.

"Mrs. Murray," he said, "I have something important to tell you." "A charitable thing again, Mr. Farley? You're going to break me," she cried. "You are a veritable angel of mercy, and you have always been generous to the expenses of the parish; but now, I want to talk about a more personal topic." He got up and walked towards the fire.He was leaning against the stove so that no heat could re-radiate into the room. "I feel that in terms of my current situation, it is entirely my responsibility to ask this question. I think it is better to be a little verbose than not to say it clearly."

Of course, Hilda couldn't help wondering what Farley meant by that; she panicked at first, then an irresistible urge to laugh.Perhaps because her love for Basil was so intense, it never occurred to her to attract anyone else; in this respect Mr. Farley never attracted much attention to her.She took a look at Farley: well-dressed, gray hair clearly combed, nails manicured, poised and confident, with a tendency to put on weight, he looked like a ridiculous fellow.After some deliberation, he spoke his mind, explaining with dignity that he was not a poor man trying to get rich by marriage;Hilda knew she should stop him, but she couldn't figure out how to say it.It wasn't that she had any bad intentions, she wanted to hear exactly what Farley would say when he proposed.He suddenly stopped talking and walked forward with a smile.

"Mrs. Murray, will you be my wife?" Now, she had to give someone an answer, so she especially hoped that she would have enough resolve to prevent this man from making further moves. "I guess I'm flattered, I never thought you meant that to me," she said awkwardly. He waved his hand disapprovingly. "I don't need an immediate answer from you, Mrs. Murray. This is a question that needs to be considered carefully. We are not children who have entered the marriage palace hastily. Marriage is a great responsibility. I hope you will think about it. Do you remember Tennyson's quip? 'Hand in hand, we'll be better off'."

The door swung open, but Farley showed no sign of being offended—he was a very polite man; while Hilda, greatly relieved, turned enthusiastically to her new visitor, Frank Herrier.Frank tried to find Basil, but was unable to find him.So he decided to come to Charles Street, anyway, to talk to Mrs. Murray about Jenny.However, it seems that the timing is not right, because other visitors have already arrived one step ahead.Presently Basil came along, and Frank caught a glimpse of Mrs. Murray's flustered expression.She glanced at Basil and saw his distracted expression, his pallor, and his deep melancholy.She talked and laughed loudly, but Basil almost always looked at her with a serious face and looked at her with pain, which gave her a premonition that something was wrong.It is very painful to see his miserable appearance now.Finally, Frank managed to get close to Hilda, at a distance where he didn't have to worry about being overheard talking quietly.

"Basil looks bad, doesn't he? His wife came to see me this morning. I think you remember he got married a year ago." Mrs. Murray's face changed suddenly, and she pursed her lips and stared at Frank suspiciously, wondering what he was trying to say. "I've seen her, and she looks vulgar and conceited, and I'm not really interested in such a person," she said dryly. "She loved Basil with all her heart, and she was a very unfortunate woman." He looked intently at Mrs. Murray, and lowered his voice so that no one could see that he was speaking; but every word and every Hilda It was especially clear that those words struck her heart like a hammer. "She asked me to bring you a message. She knew Basil loved you, and she begged you to take pity on her."

For a while, Hilda didn't know how to answer. "Don't you think it's pretty rude to say something like that to me?" she replied.The words that came out of her mouth fragmented into individual words, as if she forced them to pop out one after the other. "It's unreasonable," he replied, "and I wasn't going to risk it. Until she said her love was like music in her heart, and there was always something holding it back. It seemed to me that a stupid, narrow-minded For an ordinary woman to have such thoughts, she must have suffered severely. I apologize to you."

"Do you think I'm not in pain?" Hilda could no longer maintain her cool demeanor.Frank's question touched her, and she was overwhelmed. "Do you like him very much?" "No, I don't like him; I just adore him." Frank held out his hand, ready to say goodbye. "Then you've got to act reasonably. You're playing the most dangerous game in the world, you're playing with people's hearts...forgive me for being so blunt." "I'm glad you told me this—now I know what to do. I'll forget about his wife." Frank walked straight away.After a while, Farley, who could only watch but not get in the way, was about to leave.He shook Hilda's hand and asked when he could visit again.During the turbulent conversation with Frank, Hilda had completely forgotten about Farley's proposal, but now she felt a sudden urge to sacrifice herself.This is neither obtrusive nor unreasonable.In fact, if she said yes to it, it would solve so many problems that she resolved to think about it--to think over it as it had happened to her for the first time.At least, she can't make any decisions hastily.

"I'll write to you tomorrow," she replied solemnly. He smiled, and squeezed her hand affectionately, as if she had accepted his proposal.Mrs. Murray and Basil were alone in the room.He began flipping through a book with a carelessness that struck Mrs. Murray, who was especially agitated at the moment, as simply insensitive—not at all like Basil as usual.Then a sudden rage flared up in her; and for a moment, remembering all the pain Basil had caused her, she began to hate him deeply. "Is this book interesting?" she asked coldly. He threw the book aside impatiently.

"I feel like that man has never been far away. Every time I see him here, I get angry. Are you connected to him?" "What a special question!" she replied coldly. "I wonder why you ask that?" "Because I love you and I hate seeing other people with you!" he yelled impulsively. She gazed at him, with an effort of restraint; a wave of hostility swept over her, and she was quite indifferent to Basil's words. "Mr Farley has proposed to me, which may interest you." "Well, how are you going to answer him?" His face suddenly turned pale and his voice became hoarse.

"I don't know—maybe I'll say yes to him." "I thought you loved me, Hilda." "Just because I love you, I should marry Farley." He suddenly took a few steps forward and held her hand tightly. "No, Hilda, you can't do this. You don't know what you're doing, and for God's sake, don't say yes to him! It will make you and me very miserable. Hilda, I love You! I can't live without you! You don't know how sad I am. For months, I dreaded going home. Every time I walked around and saw my own house, I felt sick. I almost fell ill. Don't you Know how much I wish I had died in the war. I can't live." "But you have to live, that's your responsibility," she said. "I think I have enough responsibility and honor. I know I've brought it on, I'm weak, I'm stupid, and I have to bear the consequences. But I'm not that powerful; I don't love my wife." "Then don't let her find out about it. Be nice to her, be gentle, be forgiving." "Day after day, year after year, I can't be kind, tender, forgiving with her all the time. Worst of all, I have no hope. I've tried to make the best of things, but it doesn't work. Between us The difference between them is so great that it is impossible to continue living together. Everything she says and does scares me. When a man marries a woman like that, he always thinks he can lift her to his height. What a fool It's hopeless! It can only be a woman who pulls a man down to her height!" She paced the room, restless and mixed.She knew how strong her own love was, and Basil's was no less.She couldn't bear the fact that he was unhappy.She stopped and looked at him with tears in her eyes. "If it wasn't for your love, I wouldn't be alive," he cried, his voice tugging at her heartstrings as if on a strange instrument, "It's only because of you that I'm alive." Gather up the courage to live. Every time I come here, my love for you will become more and more irresistible." "Then why are you still here?" she said softly. "Can't help it. I know it's a poison, but I like the poison. I'd take my soul if I could get a look at you." It was the first time he had spoken such sweet words to her; but she was about to be tough. "If you really care about me, do your duty like a brave man and make me respect you. You are ruining our friendship. Don't you know that you are preventing me from asking Are you here?" "I can't help myself, even if I never see you again, I have to tell you, I love you! For months, my tongue has been burning, sometimes I just don't know how to control myself, I I've made you suffer, and I've lost my mind. But I love you with all my heart. I can't live without you, Hilda." He took a few steps forward, but Hilda screamed in pain and quickly backed away. "For God's sake, stop talking like that! I can't afford it. Don't you know how fragile I am? Have pity on me." "You do not love me." "You know I love you," she cried angrily, "and it is because I love you so much that I beg you to do your duty." "My duty is to be happy. Let's get out of here together! To a place where we can love each other - away from England, where no one will regard our love as sinful and ugly." "Basil," she cried harder, "let us behave more decently. Think of your wife, who loves you too--loves you as much as I do. To her you are the world." All, you can't treat her so shamelessly." She slumped into a chair and wiped away her tears.Her pain cooled Basil's enthusiasm, and her tears made his heart ache. "Don't cry, Hilda; I can't bear it." He stood in front of her, and she gently took his hand. "Don't you understand that if we make such a terrible mistake, we can no longer respect each other like we used to? She will always be sandwiched between us with her tears and grief. I tell you, I can't stand this .have pity on me—if you love me at all." He didn't answer, so she went on in staccato staccato. "I think we'd better take responsibility. For my sake, honey, go back to your wife and never let her know you love me. Because we're stronger than she is, we have to do sacrifice." He lost his courage, and the two of them just stayed there in silence.Finally, he let go of her hand. "I no longer know what's right and what's wrong, it just seems blurry. It's so hard." "It's hard for me too, Basil." "Good-bye, then!" he said sadly. "I think you're right, maybe I just made you very unhappy." "Goodbye, dear!" She got up from her chair and held out her hands, and he bent down and kissed her hands.She could hardly bear the pain, and when he turned for the door, her resolve was gone.She couldn't watch him go - in any case, not with such indifference.She thought that this might be the last time she met him, and the long-suppressed enthusiasm was finally released, giving her strength.At this moment, everything seems insignificant - except love. "Don't go, Basil!" she cried, "Don't go!" He turned around and let out a cry of delight.The two embraced, and he kissed her violently, from her lips to her eyes and hair; she cried like a pear blossom with rain.Now she doesn't care about anything.Nothing can be given up, the sky can fall, and the world has no meaning except this god-given madness. "Oh, I can't bear it," she whimpered, "I can't lose you, Basil, and say you love me!" "Yes, I love you. I love you with all my heart!" He was about to kiss her again, and she nearly fainted with joy.She threw herself into his strong arms, thinking that she would rather die here happily. "Oh, Basil, I need your love--I need your love very much!" "Nothing can separate us now. You will always be mine." He brushed her face lightly with his hands, his eyes seemed to be burning with fire.She was immersed in the joy of love, and what made her proud was that a man who loved her should be so crazy. "Say you love me again," she murmured. "Oh, Hilda, Hilda, we're together at last! Let's go to a place where there's nothing but love, where people value nothing but love and youth and beauty!" "Let's go to the place where we can be together forever. Our time is too short, let's grab all the happiness we can grab!" He kissed her again.She wept with joy.They talked frantically about their love, their past pains, and their bold plans for the future, leaving everything but passion behind them.At this moment, only what is in front of them is the most real, and it is hard for them to imagine that they have been separated from each other for so long in the past.She happily pressed his hand when he said nothing could separate them because they always belonged and always belonged to each other; it didn't matter if they were lost because they had won the whole world .Suddenly, Hilda jumped up. "Be careful! Someone is coming!" It's too late, but it's fast.The butler came in, followed by Jenny.Basil cried out in surprise.The butler closed the door, and the atmosphere was extremely awkward for a while.Hilda didn't know what to say.But Basil regained his composure first. "I think you know my wife, Mrs. Murray." "Oh, yes, I know her; you don't need to introduce me," cried Jenny angrily, and hurried up to Hilda, "I've come to see my husband." "Jenny, what are you talking about?" cried Basil, who had a premonition that something was wrong.Then he turned to Hilda. "Would you mind leaving us alone for a while?" "No, I want to talk to you!" Jenny interrupted, "I don't need your deceit. I'm here to make a point. Finally got you! You're trying to get my husband Take it!" "Be quiet, Jenny! Are you mad? For God's sake, Mrs. Murray, let us be alone; or she will offend you." "You think about her—you don't think about me? You don't care about my pain at all!" Basil took his wife's hand and tried to pull her away, but she wrenched him away with all her might.Hilda stood before her, pale and troubled in conscience.Jenny's sudden intrusion made her realize how base and ugly her intentions were.She was terrified.She gestured to Basil to let his wife speak freely. "You're stealing my husband!" Jenny shouted threateningly, "Oh, you..." She couldn't find a more vicious word, but trembled feebly with rage, "You wicked woman !" Hilda forced herself to say something. "I don't want to displease you, Mrs. Kent. If it pleases you, I promise not to see your husband again." "It's useless. Whatever you promise, I won't believe you. I know what a woman in high society is like. I know women in the city like the back of my hand." Basil stepped forward and again begged Hilda to leave them.He opened the door and cast a beseeching glance at Hilda, indicating that she could not stay any longer.Although she avoided Basil's eyes, she could feel him pleading with her not to be angry at the very unpleasant scene before her. "She's afraid of me!" Jenny shouted savagely in a hoarse voice, "She's afraid to face me!" He closed the door and turned to his wife.In his rage, he turned pale, but Jenny didn't notice this. "What is your purpose in coming here and being so presumptuous?" He said roughly, "You have no right to come here, what do you want to do?" "I want you! Do you think I can't guess what's going to happen? I've been waiting here for hours. I've seen people come and go, and finally I know you're alone with her." "How did you know?" "I gave the butler a pound, and he told me." Basil shuddered with disgust.Later, seeing his indifference, Jenny smiled bitterly.She saw Basil's picture on the table near the window.Before Basil could stop her, she snatched up the picture and threw it on the floor, stamping viciously with her heel. "She has no right to put your picture here. Oh, I hate her! I hate her!" "You're driving me crazy. For God's sake, you go." "If you don't come with me, I won't go." He stared at her for a moment, trying to command the angry, out-of-control woman in front of him.He took a step forward and grabbed her arm. "Listen, I swear to you before God, I have never done or said anything until now that you didn't know before. I try to fulfill my obligations, I do my best to make you happy, I Love you with all my might. Now, I don't want to lie to you anymore. It would be better to let you know what has happened lately. This afternoon, I told Hilda that I love her . . . and that she loves me." Jenny was so angry that she cried, and impulsively waved the umbrella and hit him in the face.He snatched the umbrella, snapped it at his knee in a fit of rage, and threw it aside. "You brought it on yourself," he said. "You make me so sad." He looked at Jenny as if he were looking at a strange woman whom he met for the first time.She stood in front of him, panting, bewildered, yet trying to control herself. "It's time to end now," he said coldly. "It is impossible for us to live together anymore. I have tried to do things beyond my ability. I cannot and will not live with you again." "Basil, you can't mean it!" she cried, suddenly realizing that he meant it seriously.She never expected that Basil would throw out such a heartless sentence, so she replied: "Don't try to get rid of me. I won't let you go." "What more do you want?" he asked coldly, "You've ruined my whole life, aren't you satisfied?" "Do not you love me?" "I never loved you." "Then why did you marry me?" "You asked me to marry." "You never loved me?" she repeated muttering, almost broken, trembling, "didn't you love me even at first?" "Never. It's a bit late to tell you now. But I have to tell you and make it over. You've been venting for months, and now it's my turn." "But I love you, Basil!" she cried, going up to Basil, and throwing her arms around his neck, "I will make you love me." But Basil avoided it. "For God's sake, don't touch me! ... Oh, Jenny, let's hang out. I'm sorry, I don't want to be mean to you. But I can't help it - because the person I like is not You. What's the point of continuing to pretend you like it and make us both miserable?" Facing him, she looked extremely humble. She tried to hold back her tears, but she was trembling from crying, and her eyes staring at Basil were much bigger than usual. "Yes, I hear it," she cried hoarsely, "but I don't believe it. When I put my hand on your shoulder, I saw you tremble; when I kissed you, You didn't mean to push me away at all." After all, he was a soft-hearted person, and now, after his anger, he couldn't help but be moved by her sadness. "Jenny, I don't love you, and that's out of my control; I love someone else, and that's also out of my control." "Then what are you going to do?" she asked in a mixture of fear and bewilderment. "I'm ready to leave." "Where are you going?" "God knows!" For a while, none of them spoke.Just when Jenny was about to sort out her messed up thoughts, the butler came in quietly and handed Basil a note, saying that Mrs. Murray asked him to bring it over.Basil opened the note after the housekeeper left, and after reading it, he handed it to Jenny silently. "What does that mean?" Jenny asked. "Isn't that clear enough? Someone proposed to her, and she was going to say yes." "But you said she loved you." He shrugged noncommittally.Then a ray of hope suddenly flashed in Jenny's heart, she stretched out her hands, and walked towards him tenderly and anxiously. "Oh, Basil, if this is true, please give me another chance. She doesn't love you as much as I do. I used to be selfish, rowdy and demanding, but I've always loved you Ah. Oh, Basil, don't leave me. Let me try again and see if I can make you love me." "I'm sorry," he answered, looking down, "it's too late." "Oh, my God, what should I do?" she exclaimed. "Even if she's determined to marry someone else, do you still like her more than anyone else in the world?" He nodded. "And even if she married another man, she still loves you. I still have no place between you and her, and I can only walk away like a fired servant. Oh, my God, my God Ah! What evil have I done to deserve this retribution!" Basil was moved by Jenny's pain, so he whispered, "I'm really sorry to make you feel so miserable." "Oh, don't pity me, do you think I need pity from others now?" "You'd better get out of here, Jenny," he said softly. "No, you have already said that you don't need me anymore, and I will go my own way in the future." He looked at her, hesitated, then shrugged. "Then, goodbye!" So he went out the door, Jenny watching him all the time.At first, she couldn't believe he was gone.It seemed that he should have turned around and embraced her; that he should have walked up the stairs again and said "I still love you" to her.However, he never came back.Through the window she saw him walking down the street. "He's gone so happily," she whispered. Then, devastated, she fell to the floor, covering her face with her hands, tears streaming down her face.