Chapter 16 third chapter

Miss Ley managed to track down Bella's hotel in Milan, and when the newlyweds arrived there (the start of their honeymoon), they found a neatly written, slightly scholarly book from their friend. And a slightly ironic letter, which also included a check for five hundred pounds as their wedding present.This money would allow them to travel more comfortably, to spend the winter in Naples in the coldest of times, and to roam around charming towns at will without worrying about lack of funds.Herbert was in high spirits, and for a while it even looked like he was fully recovered.He forgot the disease that silently devoured his living tissue, and was filled with endless hope for the future.His energy was so good that even Bella couldn't contain his enthusiasm for exploring uncharted territories that he had dreamed of for years.Bella was relieved to see his longing for sunshine, blue sky, and flowers, but she was also often heartbroken, because she felt that such a fresh vitality could not last; but she always tried to look happy .He seemed to bring together the passions that others had scattered over a lifetime.

Along the way, his personality gradually unfolds, and Bella begins to recognize his charming temperament and sweet, selfless temper.Bella's admiration for him grows day by day, and she enjoys his slightly masculine superiority-he doesn't want Bella to treat him as a patient, and sometimes even resents Bella's motherly care.On the other hand, he wanted to make Bella's life easier and more comfortable, so he tried his best to arrange everything for himself. These were the burdens that Bella was most willing to help her relieve.Herbert's perception of her husband's authority was innocent, and Bella, who was often amused by it, was happy to admit it.She knew that she was stronger than Herbert not only physically but also mentally, and yet she was willing to cooperate with Herbert's fantasy that she was just a little weaker.When she sees that Herbert might be getting bored with himself, she feigns boredom so that Herbert worries and blames himself, and it's all very touching.He never forgot Bella's kindness to him. Sometimes, his gratitude would move Bella to tears, so she would persuade him that nothing should be taken for granted.Herbert spent most of his spare time with books, treating his wife like a character in Shakespeare, writing sonnets for her with the passion of a husband.In Herbert's romantic love, Bella forgot the dullness of her early years, and she felt younger, more beautiful, and happier.A not-obtrusive indiscretion had been added to her coolness, and Herbert's rising passion was soothed with good-natured mockery.The sunlight seemed to waken Herbert's youth and dispel his gloomy moods in the North, so that he sometimes acted like a boy of sixteen, and they would talk nonsense to each other or care about themselves. He yelled happily.The world, they say, is like a mirror in which you smile and it reflects a smiling face; and now it seems to them that the whole world bears witness to their joy.In order to cater to their happiness, flowers are competing to bloom at this moment, and the beautiful nature is just a border of their great satisfaction.

At one point, he said, "You know what? We started a conversation two months ago, and it's still going on. As time goes by, I find you more interesting." "I know, I'm a good listener," she replied with a smile. "It's a rare thing to be called a good talker." "It's not a good thing for you to say something malicious to me with that look on your face," he cried.At this moment, Bella was looking at him tenderly. "I think you're getting more and more conceited." "I have such a good wife like you, how can I not show my conceit? You are so beautiful!"

"What!" she yelled loudly, "If you say such nonsense to me again, I will make you eat more cod liver oil." "But I speak the truth," he said eagerly.So, even though she knew that her beauty only existed in Herbert's imagination, Bella blushed happily. "I love your eyes. Whenever I look into your eyes, I feel like my soul is out of my shell. That day, in Florence, you showed me a beautiful woman, but she couldn't compare to you!" "My God, I believe you mean it!" she exclaimed, but her eyes filled with tears and she began to whimper.

"What's the matter?" asked Herbert in surprise. "It's great to be loved," she replied, "I've never had anyone say that to me before, and I'm so happy right now." However, the gods also seemed to be jealous of their happiness. After they reached Rome, Herbert's condition suddenly became worse due to the toil of the journey.The weather started to get cold, rainy and gloomy.Every day, after waking up, he opened the blinds and eagerly looked up to the sky, but he always saw clouds in the gray sky, so he always sighed in despair, turned his face, and just looked at the sky. wall.Likewise, Bella was eagerly looking forward to the sunshine, and her heart ached because of the gloomy weather.She did not count on Herbert's complete recovery, but she thought that a better weather would at least improve his condition.The doctor explained Herbert's condition to them.When Mr. Frank examined him, his left lung was still intact, but now, the left side is also infected, and the disease is spreading at an alarming rate.

But the weather cleared up at last, and the warm, lazy February breeze began to blow, gently blowing against the ancient stones of Rome.The sky was blue again, and the contrast was heightened by the woolly clouds; white clouds that floated across the sky with the grace of dancers.Looking down from Herbert's window is the Plaza de España, which at this moment is full of bright flowers; into our patient's room. His condition soon improved, and his recent depressed mood suddenly disappeared, and his spirit became extremely uplifting.He began to resent Rome for making his condition worse, thinking that only by changing places could he recover.He strongly asked Bella to take him out of here and go to Naples, and the doctor also said that this might be beneficial to his health.So, when he was able to move around, they immediately set off and headed further south.

When they arrived in Naples, they were no longer carefree children; now they are a middle-aged woman plagued by anxiety and a teenager dying of illness.Herbert's condition was growing worse, and he had lost all his former joys, so that the sight of his new arrival failed to excite any passion in him.The white and gold churches of Naples, like eighteenth-century dancing halls, well suited to a generation of casual faith, discouraged Herbert; Just lifeless stones; and the beauty of Italy, for which it was already famous, did not interest him.Herbert, who had been very interested before, could no longer be interested, and was indifferent to all the sights, only seeing the filth, ferocity and brutality of Naples.But on the other hand, he was drawn by an uneasy emotion, and he wanted to go further afield with enthusiasm.His inner longing for a country superior to all other countries - even better than Italy, fired his imagination, and he hoped to visit Greece in his lifetime.Bella was worried that he would run out of energy, so she wanted to persuade him to give up this idea, but this time, his attitude was particularly firm.

"It doesn't matter to you," he cried, "you'll have plenty of time to go. But all I have is now. Let me go to Athens, and then I won't have anything I haven't seen." The beauty of the world." "But please consider the risks of this trip." "Let's enjoy the moment. What does it matter if I die here, or in Greece, or somewhere else? Bella, let me see Athens! You don't know what it means to me. You Remember that picture of the Acropolis at my home in Tkenbury? I look at it every morning when I wake up, and I look at it again before I put out my candles at night. I I already know every stone there. I want to breathe the air that the Greeks breathed. I want to see Salamis and the Marathon. Sometimes, I want to see these places especially, even to the point of letting myself There is physical pain. Please don't stop me from fulfilling my last wish. After that, I can listen to you."

His voice is also full of longing, so although the desperate Bella is very afraid of this future trip, she can't resist his request.In Naples, the doctor had warned her that tragedy might strike at any moment, and she could no longer conceal her fear of Herbert's illness.And Herbert was sometimes very depressed because of his illness, but whenever the weather was fine or he slept well, he felt that he would soon be fully recovered.He now thinks that as long as he can get rid of the cough that has been tormenting him, he can recover; and every time he hears his series of good plans for the future, Bella always thinks it is a kind of incomparable suffering.He hopes to spend this summer in leafy Vallombrosa, has bought a guidebook to Spain and is planning a trip for next winter.So Bella had to force a smile and talk with him about travel plans that she knew would be destroyed by death.

"If I stay two years in the South, I'll be all right," he said again, "and then we can go to Kent and find a little house to live in, if we can see the meadows and the golden cornfields." , and then we'll try all sorts of fun things together. I want to write some really good poetry, but not for me anymore, but for you. I don't want you to feel like you've given up on yourself for me. Can It's a good thing to be famous! Ah! Bella, I hope that one day you'll be proud of me." "Then I'm going to keep a good eye on you," she replied, yet her laughter as she said this sounded like a sob of pain to herself, "Poets are always indifferent, and you will never Will flirt with many milkmaids."

"Oh, Bella! Bella!" he exclaimed suddenly impulsively. "I wish I were better in your eyes. Because without you I feel worthless." "I believe you," she replied ironically, "but that won't stop you from writing a sonnet about a peasant woman's ankle in Pisa!" He smiled, and his face turned crimson. "You don't really mind, do you? Besides, you showed me the woman walking. If you don't like the poem, I can destroy it." He took her jokes seriously, like a child, but was actually afraid that he would annoy Bella by doing so.She laughed again, more sincerely this time, but it still seemed to be filled with tears. "My darling," she cried, "when will you grow up!" "Wait till I'm cured, ma'am." The next morning Herbert was in good health, and he proposed to set off at once for Brindisi, where they might stay a day, and then sail directly to Greece.Bella, who has been wanting to procrastinate and procrastinate, hoped that this matter would be lost, was very panicked.However, Herbert didn't give Bella any chance to stop her. He didn't say anything more to her, and he directly called the shopkeeper to pay the bill, and told the innkeeper about their plan.After setting off, Herbert couldn't hide his excitement, which made Bella see it in his eyes and feel sad in his heart: his blue eyes burst into dazzling brilliance, his cheeks became crimson, and his whole body was suddenly full of strength.Not only does he look much better, but he also feels much better physically. "I tell you, once I set my feet on Greek soil, I will be well soon," he cried, "the immortal gods will perform miracles, and I will build a temple for them respect." He watched with great interest the scenery they drove along the way. In this spring day, the air was fresh and the sun was shining brightly. There were wide green fields on both sides, and herds of cows were grazing, and they were fluffy and timid.Now and then they saw shepherds, usually with rifles slung over their shoulders, looking wild and handsome and jovial.Finally, they finally saw the rippling ocean. "It's here at last!" cried the boy, "It's here at last!" However, the next morning, he suddenly developed a fever and his condition began to worsen.So, the next day, despite his entreaties, Bella resolutely refused to go any further.He looked at her unhappy, with disappointment in his eyes. "Okay then," he finally said, "but you must promise me that next time, we will move forward no matter what, even if I am dying, you must carry me to the boat." "I promise you this sincerely," Bella replied. Faith gave him unimaginable strength, so, within a few days, he was able to get out of bed and walk around.But the excitement he had shown for the previous two weeks suddenly disappeared and he became silent.Bella was worried because of this, fearing that he was unhappy because of the delay in his trip due to her insistence.They were forced to spend a week in Brindisi, a dreary, squalid, populous town, and they wandered together its winding, narrow streets.It pleased Herbert to go to the port, for he liked the barges crowded together, loading and unloading on the shore, and here he fancied their long journeys on the wild sea.He liked the lazy sailors, the dark porters with their red sashes, and the urchins frolicking on the docks.But the lives of these people sometimes plunged Herbert into a kind of painful despair: they seemed to have the absolute power of pleasure, and he sincerely envied the poorest furnace workers, because their muscles were strong and they could move freely. breath.A week passed, and on the afternoon when their ship was about to leave, Herbert went out alone; knowing his habits, Bella soon found him: he was sitting on a hill overgrown with olive trees. , looking at the sea in front of him.He didn't notice Bella's approach, because he was so focused that he seemed to have seen the coast of Greece that he had always dreamed of.He stared intently at the Aegean Sea in the distance, and an indescribable pain appeared on his pale and thin face. "I'm glad you're here, Bella, I need you." She sat down beside him and took his hand, and Herbert looked away again.On the glittering sea, a fishing boat with a strange white sail sailed like a sea bird.The sky was as blue as lapis lazuli at this time, and there was not a single cloud. "Bella," he said at last, "I don't want to go to Greece. I don't have the courage." "What do you mean?" she asked in surprise.For the past few days, he has been thinking about this matter, but when it is close at hand, he shrinks back, which seems to be a sign of illness. "You thought I was mad because we didn't start last week. I did try to think that, but inside I was happy for the delay. I was terrified. I tried to work up my courage and I failed. " He didn't look at Bella, just stared at the sea in the distance. "Bella, I dare not take this risk. I dare not challenge reality with fantasy. I want to keep my fantasy. The trip to Italy taught me that nothing is as beautiful and charming as the imaginary scenery. Whenever things don't go my way, I tell myself that Greece will make up for all the unsatisfaction. But now, I know that Greece will only bring the same disappointment, and I don't think I can bear that. Let me die with the image of the most beautiful country! No more fauns jumping in the fields, no forest spirits running by the streams, this Greece is to me again What's the point? The beauty of Greece lies not in the part I can see, but in the pure land in my ideal." "Honey, we don't have to go there. I don't think we're going there now, you know," Bella cried. Herbert turned to Bella and stared at her for a long time.He looked like he was about to say something, but held back strangely.Then he made another effort. "Bella, I want to go home," he said softly. "I feel like I can't breathe here; the blue skies here make me sad, and I miss England's cloudy skies. Before I left, I didn't know I was Love your country so much... Do you think I'm a nasty prude?" "No, honey," she answered choked up. "The noise of the South is too much for my ears, the colors are too bright, the air is too thin and clear, and the long hours of the sun are blinding my eyes. Ah, let me go back to my own country! I can't just die here, I want to be buried in my own country. I didn't tell you, Bella, but lately I've been losing sleep at night thinking about the fertile fields of Kent. I want to hold them in my hands , holding those cool, soft soils in my hands. When I look at the blue sky here, I think of the beautiful sky in Kent: cloudy, soft, not so high. I long for those clumps of breeding Clouds with rain." As he imagined all this beauty, he couldn't help but express his excitement, and he stretched out his hands to cover his eyes, so that his imagination would not be disturbed by anything. "I'm parched right now, and I'm desperate for a spring rain. You know, we haven't seen rain in a month. The elms and oaks in Leonham and Ferney are full of leaves now, and I'm especially Love how green they are now. There's nothing here like the green fields of Kent. Ah, I can feel the salty breeze from the North Sea caressing my cheeks and all I smell is England The breath of spring. I must see the hedges again, and hear the birds sing there. I long to see the old gray stone church again, and the tree-lined trees of Tkenbury I want to hear many English voices, I want to see English faces. Bella, Bella, for God's sake, take me home, or I'll will die." There was pain in his passion, and Bella felt more warned than ever.She thought he had some mysterious premonition about the future, so it took her a lot of effort to bring herself to say some words of comfort.They therefore decided to set off at once.Anxious Herbert hopes to go back to London directly, but in order to avoid all dangers as much as possible, Bella insists on taking a safer route.Although Bella wrote to her father every week this winter, reporting what they had done and describing the places they had traveled, the presiding pastor never wrote back. The news, Bella can only learn from friends in Tekkenbury.Now, immediately after they had decided to start back to London, Bella wrote a letter to her father. Regarding her first two letters, our presiding pastor showed enough determination and perseverance not to read them. However, he finally couldn't bear the loneliness of being alone and missed his daughter's caring for him more and more.The house seemed even emptier without her, and sometimes, when he got up early in the morning, he would forget what had happened and look forward to going down to breakfast to find his bright, well-groomed daughter at the head of the table.By the time of the third letter, he couldn't help it anymore. Although his proud self-esteem did not allow him to write a reply, he was eagerly looking forward to this weekly exchange.Once, his daughter's letter was accidentally delayed by two days, and he anxiously went to a friend's house—he knew that the friend's wife had contact with Bella, and asked if they had any news about Bella. In opening this last letter, our presiding pastor marveled at its brevity: for Bella used to write down the events of the next week in great detail in order to comfort him and entertain him.He read the letter back and forth two or three times, and then he settled down.First, he found that Bella was already on her way home. If he wanted, Bella might sit at the lonely dining table again, walk softly around the room as before, and walk in the evening. Play him the music he loves so much.But then he read Bella's desperation hidden in those hurried words, and through them, Bella's extraordinary love for the poor child.Our presiding pastor had learned quite a bit about Herbert through his daughter's letters, and Bella carefully narrated some things that she thought would impress her father, so that for a long time the pastor had to pay for his own injustice. while struggling.He began to feel remorse.In the parsonage's study hung a portrait of his dead wife, thirty-five years since she had been gone, in the first year of her marriage, with a goofy smile and curly brown hair, a mid-Victorian The look of a woman.While there is nothing spectacular about the painting, it was a true masterpiece for the grieving husband.He had often found comfort and advice in her brown eyes, and now, filled with pride and love, he looked at the picture with all sincerity.There was a reproachful expression on the lady's face, and the priest, feeling suddenly guilty, bowed his head silently.The hungry came to him, and he gave them no food; he drove out the stranger, and drove out the sick. "I am guilty, I am ashamed to look at you," he whispered bitterly, "I am no longer worthy to be called the Son of God." Then his eyes flicked to a photo of Bella, which he had removed from the room and then put back.He stretched out his hand, as if he wanted to take his daughter's arm.He smiled happily because he had already made up his mind.He will no longer care about the words he said when he was angry. He is going to Paris to bring his daughter and son-in-law who is dying.If in the boy's last days he could make amends for his old rudeness, perhaps for his former cruel pride. He set off immediately without telling anyone of his plan.He didn't intend to communicate with Bella, but he knew the hotel where Bella was going to stay, so he decided to wait for her there.He estimated the moment Bella might arrive, and wandered the halls during that time, but both times returned with bitter disappointment.However, on the third day, when he felt that the uneasiness brought about by disappointment was unbearable, he saw a carriage approaching and saw Bella get out of the carriage, and he suddenly trembled with excitement.He didn't want his daughter to see him immediately, so he moved to an inconspicuous position on the side.He noticed the concern with Bella as she helped Herbert out of the car: she took his arm to guide him.He was obviously very weak, and despite the warmth of the evening, he wrapped his head up.When Bella went to inquire about the room, Herbert, who looked powerless, sat down. The vicar regretted the change in the boy, for when they had last seen Herbert Field had been a vigorous and very happy boy.And the anxiety of these months had left its mark on Bella, too. Her hair was almost gray, and her expression was pale and tired.As they went upstairs, the pastor asked for their room number, and forced himself to wait half an hour in order to give them ample time to pack their bags.Next, he went upstairs and knocked on their door.Bella thought it was a maid and answered in French. "Bella," he whispered, and then he suddenly remembered how Bella had begged him outside his study, and how firmly he had refused. With a loud cry, she ran over and opened the door, and the father and daughter hugged each other immediately.The pastor held his daughter tightly, but because of his excitement, he couldn't say a word.But Bella was eager to speak. "Herbert, it is my father." The young man was lying on a bed in another room, and Bella had taken her father there.Now Herbert was too tired to get up again. "I've come to take you two home," said the old man, with tears of joy in his eyes. "Ah, Dad, I'm so happy that you're finally not angry with me anymore. It makes me feel very happy that you're willing to forgive me." "It's not you, Bella, it's me. I hope your husband will forgive me for being unkind. I was harsh, proud, and cruel." "Honey, can you forgive me? Can you allow me to be a father to you and Bella?" "I would love to." "Will you come back to Tkenbury with me? I want you to know that my home is your home. I will try to make you forget that I was..." Our presiding pastor stopped abruptly, unable to continue his words. "I know you are a very kind man," laughed Herbert; "you see, I have brought Bella back." The chaplain hesitated for a moment, then stooped and very tenderly kissed the pale, suffering youth.