Chapter 4 Volume 1 A Family History

Alexei Fyodorovich Karamazov was the third son of our county landowner Fyodor Pavlovich Karamazov.His father died thirteen years ago, and his death was tragic and strange. At that time, there was a lot of trouble in the city (until now, he is often mentioned in our county).I will tell you about this in due course.Now I will say that this "landlord" (as he is called in our county, even though he has hardly lived on his estate in his life) is an eccentric, but often encountered in life. A man of that kind, he is not only mean-hearted and dissolute, but at the same time he is a typical example of muddleheadedness.But it seems that there are only such stupid people who are very clever in managing their own property.Take Fyodor Pavlovich, for example. At the beginning he had almost nothing, he was just a small landowner who lived everywhere, tried every means to be a patron, but by the time of his death he was already A huge sum of one hundred thousand rubles was amassed.All his life, though, he was one of the most befuddled and outrageous men in our county.I'll say it again: he's not stupid, and most of those unreasonable people are pretty clever and pretty cunning -- he's just confused, and peculiarly nationally confused.

He was married twice and had three sons, the eldest Dmitry Fyodorovich by his first wife, the other two, Ivan Fyodorovich and Alexey Fyodorovich It was born by the second wife.Fyodor Pavlovich's first wife was of a noble family, the daughter of Miusov, our county landowner.As for how such a young, beautiful, smart and lively girl with a dowry could marry this man who is called "a wimp" by everyone, I don't want to explain in detail.This kind of thing is not uncommon among our generation, and it has happened before.I knew a girl who belonged to the past "romantic" generation.After a few years of inexplicable love with a gentleman, she could have been married peacefully, but it turned out that she imagined many obstacles that she could not overcome, and finally, on a stormy night, she fell from the cliff-like bank of the river. He committed suicide by jumping into the cold and swift river.Her death should be attributed entirely to her eccentric temper, entirely to imitate Shakespeare's Ophelia.If the cliff she had long since set her sights on and loved so much had not been picturesque, if it had been a flat stretch of river bank without poetry, she might not have committed suicide at all.This is a real thing, and it must be seen that in our Russian life, during the last two generations, this or something like it has not been uncommon.Adelaida Ivanovna Miusova's behavior clearly belonged to this category, and was undoubtedly influenced by the atmosphere of the outside world and stimulated by popular ideas.Perhaps she wanted to show her independence as a woman, against the social environment, against the tyranny of the clan and the family, and her delusions convinced her, even for a moment, that Fyodor Pavlovich, though A diner, but he was the bravest and most sarcastic man of the progressive transition, and he was nothing more than a vicious buffoon.What was even more sensational was the fact that it ended in an elopement, which again made Adelaida Ivanovna very proud.Fyodor Pavlovich could not have dreamed of such a fortune even from his social position at that time, because he was so anxious to have a bright future for himself that he would do anything for it.It is indeed a great temptation to climb such a good relationship and get a generous dowry.As for mutual love, there was no such thing, from the bride's side as from him, notwithstanding the beauty of Adelaida Ivanovna.It may be said that this incident was perhaps the only exceptional case in Fyodor Pavlovitch's life, since he had been obsessed with womanizing all his life.As long as any woman waved to him, he could immediately bow down under her pomegranate skirt.But this woman was the only one who made no special impression on him sexually.

Adelaida Ivanovna saw him for what he was right away after she eloped with him.She had nothing but contempt for her husband.Therefore, the evil consequences of this marriage were immediately exposed. Although her family acquiesced in the matter soon and gave the elopement daughter a dowry, the life between the couple became a mess and endless quarrels began .It was said that the young wife was very generous and noble in money matters, which Fyodor Pavlovitch could not match.Only now did I know that she had just received 25,000 rubles in cash at that time, and he immediately stole all of it, so the tens of thousands of money were lost to her forever, without a trace.Her dowry also includes a manor in the country and a nice house in the city. He has been trying to transfer these two properties to his own name through some legal procedures. He was so cheeky with his wife, and begged hard, in order to arouse his wife's contempt and dislike for him, and finally upset her, as long as she could get rid of his entanglement, she agreed to agree to his request.He would have certainly succeeded in this move, but fortunately the intervention of Adelaida Ivanovna's family at this time restrained the insatiable fellow.Everyone knew that the couple had often fought, and it was said that it was not Fyodor Pavlovitch who did it, but Adelaida Ivanovna, a violent, strong, dark woman.At last she abandoned the family, left Fyodor Pavlovich, eloped with a poor seminary teacher, and left Fyodor Pavlovich a three-year-old son Mitya .Fyodor Pavlovich immediately brought a large company of concubines into his house, drunkenly, and traveled all over the province at his spare time, whimpering to everyone he met, and calling out to those who had deserted him. Adelaida Ivanovna complained, and at the same time told everyone in detail about the bed affairs that husbands are ashamed to talk about.This is mainly because he seems to enjoy, even take pride in, playing the ridiculous role of the pissed-off husband in public and playing up the details of his own humiliation.Those who liked to mock said to him: "You are very good, Fyodor Pavlovich, and although you are sad, you are very proud of your promotion and fortune." Many even added , he was happy to play the role of a fresh-faced clown, trying to make people laugh even more, and deliberately pretending to be indifferent to his ridiculous situation.But who knows, maybe it's a sign of his true feelings.Later he finally found the trace of the elopement woman.The unfortunate woman followed her seminary teacher to Petersburg, where she threw herself into the most thorough women's emancipation movement.Fyodor Pavlovich immediately set to work, preparing to go to Petersburg.As for why he was going, he didn't even know himself.Of course, he would have started at once, but immediately after having made such a decision he felt that it was necessary for his courage to drink heavily before he set off.It was at this time that his wife's family received the news of her death in Petersburg.She seemed to have died suddenly in an attic, some said of typhoid, others of starvation.Fyodor Pavlovich, who was drunk when he heard the news of his wife's death, is said to have run into the street, raised his arms in joy, and shouted: "It's all right!" To say that he was crying like a child, crying like hell, made me feel sorry for him, even though everyone hated him.It is likely that both accounts are based, that is, that he rejoiced at his freedom and wept for the woman who had set him free, or both.In most cases, all people, even the villains, are more innocent and good-natured than we usually think.Including ourselves as well.

It is certainly conceivable how such a man should be a father and educator.With a father like him, what was supposed to happen had finally happened.He completely abandoned the child he had had with Adelaida Ivanovna, not because he hated the child or was wronged by the quarrel between the husband and wife, but simply because he had completely forgotten about it.When he was hated by crying and complaining everywhere, and he turned his home into a brothel, Grigory, his family's servant, took on the responsibility of raising the three-year-old boy.If he hadn't cared in the first place, maybe no one would have changed the child's shirt.Besides, the child's mother's relatives seemed to have forgotten him from the start.His grandfather, Mr. Miusov, Adelaida Ivanovna's father, had died, his widow, Mitya's grandmother, had emigrated to Moscow and was seriously ill, and their daughters were getting married one after another, so almost For a whole year Mitya could only stay at the servant Grigory's house, in the servant's cabin.But then again, even if the good dad remembered his child (in fact, he couldn't possibly not know he existed), he would send him back to the cabin again, because the child would definitely get in the way of his sensuality Life.Then it happened that the late Adelaida Ivanovna's cousin, Pyotr Alexandrovich Miusov, had returned from Paris.This person lived abroad for many years, but he was still very young at the time. He was very different from the Miusov family. It became the liberals of the 1940s and 1950s.In the course of his life he had extensive associations with many of the most free-thinking figures of his time, both at home and abroad.He had direct contact with Proudhon and Bakunin, and at the end of his wandering career, he was particularly fond of recalling and telling about the three days of the February Revolution in Paris in 1848, and hinted that he almost personally participated in the street fighting.It is one of the happiest memories of his youth.He owns independent property, which, according to previous calculations, is equivalent to about a thousand serfs.His fertile domain lies just outside our little town, adjoining the lands of our famous monastery.Early in his youth, when Pyotr Alexandrovich first acquired the property, he was engaged in endless legal battles with the monastery for the right to fish in the river or cut trees in the woods.I don't know the merits of this lawsuit, but he even thinks that it is a civil duty and a civilized man's duty to litigate against these "clericalists".He probably remembered Adelaida Ivanovna, had paid attention to her before, and when he heard all about her and learned that there was one Mitya left, he was filled with righteous indignation, notwithstanding Fyodor. Contemptuously, Pavlovitch intervened in the matter.Only then did he meet Fyodor Pavlovitch for the first time.He declared to him bluntly that he would love to take on the responsibility of raising the children.Later he often told people that when he mentioned Mitya, the other party pretended not to understand which child he was referring to, and even seemed surprised that there was still a young child in his family.Even if Pyotr Alexandrovitch's words were somewhat exaggerated, there was still something to tell.All his life Fyodor Pavlovich was a poseur, and for no reason at all he would play an unexpected role in front of you, although sometimes it was quite unnecessary and even to his own detriment.Such as this time.Still, this trait is inherent in many people, even fairly intelligent ones, not to mention Fyodor Pavlovich.Pyotr Alexandrovich took up the matter enthusiastically, and was even appointed, along with Fyodor Pavlovich, guardian of the child, since after all the death of the child's mother left a small property, a house and an estate.Mitya actually lived with this cousin, but the cousin didn't have a family. As soon as he had settled the affairs of the estate and was assured of income, he hurried to Paris to stay there for a long time, so he left The child was entrusted to his cousin, a Moscow lady.As a result, he got used to living in Paris, especially when the February Revolution, which shocked him greatly and was unforgettable for his life, came, and he had long forgotten about the children.Then the Moscow lady died, and Mitya went to live with one of her married daughters.Then he seems to have changed doors for the fourth time.I am not going to dwell on these matters now.Since the firstborn, Fyodor Pavlovich, will be described in detail, I will only deal with the most essential facts about him, without which I would not be able to begin this novel.

First, Dmitri Fyodorovich alone among Fyodor Pavlovich's three sons grew up in the belief that he had more or less property and would be independent when he grew up.His youth and youth were spent in chaos: he entered a military school before finishing high school, then suddenly went to the Caucasus to serve as a military officer, won the favor of his superiors, was demoted for participating in a duel, and later returned to the Caucasus. Appreciated again, he lived a life of debauchery and squandered a lot of money.He did not get some money from Fyodor Pavlovich until he was an adult, and before that he borrowed money everywhere and was deeply in debt.He met and met his father, Fyodor Pavlovich, for the first time when he came of age when he came to us to settle his property with him.Probably his father didn't win his favor at the beginning, he didn't stay in his father's house for a long time, he got a small sum of money from his father and agreed with him on the future income from the land, and left in a hurry .As to how much these lands were worth, and how much they were worth, he could never get a definite answer from Fyodor Pavlovich at that time (this is a noteworthy fact).Fyodor Pavlovitch pointed out at the outset (and this must also be remembered) that Mitya had exaggerated and incorrect ideas about his property.Fyodor Pavlovitch was very pleased with this meeting, for he had other plans.He judged that the young man was frivolous, hot-tempered, lustful, impatient, keen on eating, drinking and having fun, and as long as he caught something, he would immediately calm down, of course, not for a long time.Fyodor Pavlovich immediately began to take advantage of this by giving him small favors and sending him money now and then to perfuse him.Finally, something like this happened: Four years later, Mitya finally lost his patience and came to our small town again, planning to settle the property with his father, but he never thought that he had nothing and it was even difficult to settle the property. The father took money equal to the value of all his property, and even owed him.By a certain contract which he voluntarily entered into in such a certain month of the year, he has completely lost any further claim.The young man was very surprised, suspected that he had been deceived, and was so angry that he almost lost his reason.It was this circumstance which led to the tragedy which is the description, or rather the framework, of this first prologue of mine.But before proceeding to this account, it is necessary to say something about the other two sons of Fyodor Pavlovitch, Mitya's younger brothers, and explain their origins.

Immediately after sending four-year-old Mitya away from him, Fyodor Pavlovitch married a second time.This second marriage lasted about eight years.His second wife, Sofia Ivanovna, was also very young, whom he had met when he went to the provinces to undertake a small project in partnership with the Jews.Although Fyodor Pavlovich was obsessed with eating, drinking, and carousing, he never stopped investing to make money, and he always managed things very smoothly, although almost every time he did it in a somewhat despicable way.Sophia Ivanovna was an orphan who lost her parents when she was young. Her father was a melancholy church deacon, but she grew up in a wealthy family.The benefactor who adopted her was the widow of General Vorokhov, an elderly and famous general who often tortured her.I don’t know the details, but I only heard that this adopted daughter, who has always been gentle, kind, and submissive, tied a rope to a nail in the storage room and planned to hang herself, but was rescued, which shows how unbearable she is for the general’s wife. Quirky temper and endless accusations.In fact, the old woman was not vicious, but she was so arrogant that it was unbearable because she was pampered.Fyodor Pavlovitch went to propose, but they drove him away as soon as they heard of his background.So, like the first marriage, he proposed that the girl elope with him.If she had known his details in time, she might not have eloped with him anyway.But it happened in another province, and what did a sixteen-year-old girl like her know who would rather kill herself than stay with her adoptive mother?This poor girl escaped from the wolf's lair, but fell into the tiger's mouth again.This time Fyodor Pavlovitch got nothing, because the general's wife gave nothing in a fit of rage, and not only that, but cursed them both.But he didn't expect to get anything. What made him salivate was the girl's extraordinary beauty. More importantly, her innocent appearance made him, a womanizer who only knew how to chase vulgar women, marvel. endlessly. "Those innocent eyes cut my heart like a razor." Later he often said with a shameless smile.But for a whore, it's just lust.Fyodor Pavlovitch did not get any good, and his attitude towards his wife became unscrupulous.On the pretext that she was ashamed of him, he seemed to have saved her from the "hanging rope". In addition, he also took advantage of her rare meekness and submissive character, and he even ignored the minimum decency that should be expected between husband and wife. up.Some bad women gathered in his house, drinking and having fun in front of his wife, and running amok.I would also like to tell you about a special case, that is, Grigory, the sullen, stupid, obstinate, chattering servant, who was the bitter enemy of his former wife Adelaida Ivanovna, this time Sided with the new wife, defended her everywhere, even quarreled with Fyodor Pavlovich about her in a way that was hardly allowed to a servant.Once he insisted on driving away all the sluts who came to drink and do evil.This unfortunate young woman, who had been terrified from childhood, later developed a neurotic woman's disease, which is often seen in country women, and the patients are usually called madwomen.With this disease, they often have hysterical attacks and even faint.Nevertheless she bore two sons to Fyodor Pavlovitch, the first, Ivan, in the year of their marriage, and the second, Alexey, three years later, when she died. Alexei was just over three years old at the time. Although it was strange to say, I knew that he would remember his mother all his life afterwards, as if in a dream.When their mother died, the two children suffered exactly as their older brother Mitya did: they were completely forgotten by their father.Both brothers fell into the hands of Grigory, and both lived in his cabin.It was in the cabin that the old and tyrannical General's wife, their mother's benefactor and foster mother, had found them.She was alive then, and for eight years she could not forget her humiliation.For eight years she had at all times the most accurate information about her "Sophia."Hearing that Sophia was seriously ill and living an inhuman life, two or three times she exclaimed to her diners: "She deserves it, she is ungrateful, and God punished her like this."

Exactly three months had passed since Sofia Ivanovna's death, when the general's wife suddenly came to our town herself and went straight to Fyodor Pavlovitch's lodgings.She only stayed in the city for nearly half an hour in total, but there were quite a few things to do.It was late in the evening, and Fyodor Pavlovich, whom she had not seen for eight years, came out drunk to meet her.It is said that she did not give any explanation when she saw him, and went up to give him two loud slaps, then grabbed his hair and pressed down three times, then went directly to the cabin to find him. Two little grandchildren.Seeing their dirty faces and ragged clothes at first glance, she immediately slapped Grigory and announced to him that she was taking the two children back to her own home, then helped them out of the cabin and wrapped them up. Put in a checkered blanket, put it in the carriage, and take it back to your own home.Grigory, being a faithful servant, received this slap, and without saying a word of rudeness, he sent the old lady to the carriage, bowed deeply to her, and said loudly: "God will surely take care of the orphan like this." Repay." "You're a bastard!" the general's wife yelled at him before leaving.Fyodor Pavlovich thought it over carefully and thought it a good thing, so he did not refuse any of the terms later when he signed the official documents for the custody of the two children by the general's wife.As for those two slaps, he himself was still preaching them all over the city.

Shortly thereafter, the general's wife died.But in her will she designated a thousand rubles for each of the children "as an educational expense, which must be spent on them until they come of age, because this sum is more than enough for such children, if anyone wants to Give generously, then please."I have not seen the will myself, but I have heard that there are such strange things in it, and it is expressed in a rather peculiar way.The old lady's principal successor, Yefim Petrovich Polenov, was an honest man, and was the nobleman of the province.He guessed immediately after a letter with Fyodor Pavlovich that it was impossible for him to pay for the upbringing of his own son (although he never refused outright, In such cases he procrastinates, and sometimes even speaks eloquently), so Polenov took care of the two children himself, and was especially fond of the youngest Alexei.Alexey was even raised in his home for a long time.I invite the reader to pay attention to this from the outset.If there is anyone to whom these two young men owe their education and training, it is Yefim Petrovich, a most noble and humanitarian man, of whom there are few today. see you.He left nothing to the children of the general's wife for a thousand rubles, which by the time they came of age, with interest, amounted to two thousand rubles.He supported them with his own money, and of course spent far more than a thousand rubles apiece on them.For the time being I will not go into detail about their adolescent years, but I will mention only a few of the most important ones.About my brother Ivan, I just want to tell you that he was a melancholy and introverted child from an early age. Although he was far from being timid and timid, he seemed to understand from the age of ten that they depended on others and depended on other people's favors to grow up. Their father was one of those people who would be ashamed to say it, and so on.The child was very early, almost from infancy (at least according to legend) to show a remarkable talent for research and learning.The exact circumstances are unclear, but at the age of thirteen he left Yefim Petrovich's house and went to a secondary school in Moscow, where he lived with a boyhood friend of Yefim Petrovich's. In the family of an experienced and well-known educator at that time.Later, Ivan himself said that it was all due to Yefim Petrovich's "anxiousness and righteousness", because he had an idea that gifted children should learn from gifted educators.But by the time the young man had graduated from school and entered university, neither Efim Petrovitch nor the gifted educator had died.Because Yefim Petrovich did not explain clearly during his lifetime, the sum left to him by the domineering general's wife, although it amounted to two thousand plus interest, was due to all the unavoidable formalities and delays here. But it was not available for a long time, so the young man had to support himself and study during the first two years of college, and life was very difficult.It should be pointed out that he had never intended to correspond with his father at all, perhaps out of pride, out of contempt for him, or perhaps after sober and rational reflection he had realized that he would never get any favors from his father.No matter how difficult the situation was, the young man did not panic or lose his way, and finally found a job, first teaching lectures, and then writing small articles such as street news under the pen name of "witness" and sending them to various newspapers. published.It is said that these little articles of ten or so lines were so ingeniously conceived and interesting that they soon became popular, and this alone is enough to show that this young man is far superior in practical ability and intelligence to our numerous, eternally poor and unhappy people. that part of young boys and girls.Those students broke through the thresholds of various newspapers and magazines in the capital, begging for them to translate French works or transcribe all day long, and they couldn't think of a better way than that.After Ivan Fyodorovitch made acquaintance with the editors of several newspapers, he never broke off contact with them.In my final years at university, I began to publish brilliant book reviews on a variety of topics, and even became a minor celebrity in literary circles.It is only recently, however, that he has suddenly come to special attention among a wider circle of readers by chance, and many have discovered and remembered him at once.This is quite an interesting phenomenon.Just when Ivan Fyodorovitch was graduating from the university and was planning to spend his two thousand rubles on a trip abroad, he published a curious article in one of the major newspapers, and even non-experts noticed it.What's more, the object of discussion is obviously completely unfamiliar to him, because his major is natural science, but this article is written for the issue of the Inquisition that was discussed everywhere at that time.He analyzed the various existing views on this issue, and at the same time explained his own personal views.The key is the tone of his essay and his brilliant and surprising conclusion.Many religious people took him completely as their own, while those who were not religious, even atheists, applauded and applauded him from their own perspective.At last some astute souls realized that the whole article was a mockery, a daring farce.The reason I want to draw your attention to this incident is that the article reached a well-known monastery on the outskirts of our city in good time.There was great attention to the furor of the Inquisition--articles made their way into the Abbey and bewildered everyone.After everyone knew the author's name, they found out that he was from our city, "the son of that Fyodor Pavlovich."It so happened that the author himself suddenly appeared in our city again at this time.

What was Ivan Fyodorovitch doing with us then?I remember that I asked myself such a question with a bit of worry at the time.This ominous and terribly consequential visit remained elusive to me for a long time afterwards.In general, was it not strange that a young man of his caliber, who was so learned, so proud and prudent, should go into a very ugly family, and go to such a father?His father never cared about him all his life, didn't know or remember him, and if his son asked him for money, he would never give him a penny, but all his life he was always in fear of his two sons, Ivan and Ah. Lexei, one day he will suddenly come to ask for money.But this young man actually lived in this father's house, and he lived there for a month or two, and they couldn't get along with each other more harmoniously.The harmony with which they got along surprised not only me, but many others.Pyotr Alexandrovich Miusov, a distant relative of the ex-wife of Fyodor Pavlovich whom I mentioned above, happened to come back to us from Paris, where he had long lived, and lived in In his own estate on the outskirts of the city.I remember that Miusov was more amazed than anyone else.He made the acquaintance of this young man, who was also deeply interested in him, and sometimes exchanged bitter words with him. "He's very proud," he told us at the time, "and earns money at any time, and now he has enough money to go abroad. So why is he here at all? Everyone knows he didn't come to his father to money, because his father would never give it to him under any circumstances. He is not greedy for drinking or sex, but the old man can't do without him, and the two get along very well!" This is actually the case, and the young man even treats The old man had an obvious influence. Although the old man was very capricious and even unreasonable, he seemed to be willing to listen to him sometimes, and sometimes he even became obedient...

It was not until later that it became clear that Ivan Fyodorovitch had returned partly because his elder brother Dmitri Fyodorovitch had asked him to help with matters.Almost at this time, after this homecoming, Ivan Fyodorovich met and saw Dmitry Fyodorovitch for the first time in his life, but for a matter of Fyodorovich had written to him before he left Moscow and came here.As for what is going on, readers will naturally know in detail later.Although I was aware of this particular situation at the time, I still found Ivan Fyodorovitch a mysterious person, whose purpose in coming to us remained inexplicable.

I should also add that Ivan Fyodorovich seemed to have acted at first as an intermediary and mediator between his father and his elder brother Dmitri Fyodorovich, because Dmitry Fyodorovich At that time, he had a heated argument with his father, and even formally filed a lawsuit. I repeat that the family was reunited for the first time, and some of them saw each other for the first time in their lives, except the youngest son, Alexey Fyodorovitch, who came earlier than the two brothers, and who already lived with us. For nearly a year.It is difficult to introduce the situation of this Alexei in my prologue, before introducing him to the stage of the novel.But I cannot fail to say a few words, at least first of all, about the very peculiar fact that I can only let the reader see my future hero appearing on the stage of the novel in a monk's robe at the beginning of the first act.Yes, he had been living in our monastery for about a year at that time, and he seemed to intend to live in seclusion there for the rest of his life. He was only twenty years old at the time, while his second brother Ivan was almost twenty-four, and his elder brother Dmitri was over twenty-seven.Let me begin by saying that this young man, Alyosha, is by no means a fanatic, or even a mystic, at least in my opinion.Let me start with my whole point of view: he's just a precocious philanthropist.The reason why he escaped into Buddhism was because only this way could move him and provide him with an ideal destination, so that his soul could get rid of the darkness of worldly hatred and enter into the light of love.This path moved him only because he met here a man whom he regarded as extraordinary—the abbot Zosima, the venerable elder of our monastery, whose hungry heart was full of the passion of first love. Obsessed with this elder.But I have no objection to the statement that he was already a very peculiar man then, even from the cradle.By the way, as I mentioned above, he was only a little over three years old when his mother passed away, but he remembered her all his life, her face, her caress, "he stood there alive. in front of me".We all know that even the youngest child, even a child over two years old, can retain this kind of memory, but it will only appear as a few bright spots in the dark for the rest of his life. With the corner torn off, the whole painting has dimmed or even disappeared, but this corner is still dazzling.That was the case with him.他记得在一个寂静的夏日傍晚，夕阳的斜辉照进敞开的窗户（这斜辉他记得特别清晰），房间的一角有尊圣像，圣像前点着圣灯，她母亲跪在圣像前痛哭，歇斯底里似的大喊大叫，双手把他紧紧搂在怀里，勒得他都感到疼了。她双手捧着他，送到圣像前，她替他向圣母祈祷，似乎在祈求圣母庇护……突然，奶妈跑进来，惊恐万分地把他从母亲手里夺走了。How strange!阿廖沙在那一瞬间记住了母亲的脸。据他记忆，他说那是一张麻木迟钝却又非常美丽的脸。不过他不太愿意把这回忆告诉别人。在童年和少年时代，他的感情很少外露，甚至不太愿意说话，这倒不是由于不信任别人，也不是由于胆小或者生性孤僻，恰恰相反，完全是由于别的原因，由于某种纯粹个人的内心忧虑，这种忧虑跟别人毫无关系，而对他自己则至关重要，以致似乎忘记了别人。不过他对人们却怀着一颗爱心，似乎他一辈子都绝对信赖别人，而其他人也从来没有把他当做一个头脑简单或者天真幼稚的人，他身上似乎有一种东西在告诉并暗示大家（以后一辈子都是这样）：他不想充当人们的裁判，他不愿意也决不会去谴责别人，他甚至会容忍一切，丝毫没有谴责的意思，尽管内心经常感到悲伤。不仅如此，在这方面他甚至到了任何人都无法使他惊讶和惧怕的地步。这情形在他步入青年时代的时候就已经开始了。他二十岁那年去看望父亲，走进那个名副其实的肮脏的淫窟，这位纯洁无邪的青年到了实在看不下去的时候才默默地离开，然而却没有丝毫轻蔑或责备任何人的神色。他父亲原来是寄人篱下的食客，所以对屈辱特别敏感、特别计较，见了他起初心存疑虑，神色阴郁（说他“嘴上一声不吭，可肚子里鬼点子多着呢”），可是过后不久，不到两个星期，便开始经常拥抱他、亲吻他了，尽管是流着醉醺醺的眼泪，出于酒后的冲动，但显然是真心诚意地、打心眼里爱他了，当然，他这种人还从来没有这样爱过任何人…… 不论这年轻人到哪儿，大家都喜欢他，他从小就是个人见人爱的孩子。他到了抚养他的恩人叶菲姆·彼得罗维奇·波列诺夫家里，便博得了全家的喜欢，大家都把他当成了自己家里的孩子。而他进入这个家庭时还是个婴儿，那种年龄的孩子无论如何不会耍什么心计，不可能掌握讨好迎合、巴结奉承的技巧或者迫使别人喜欢自己的本领。他身上就有这种特别招人喜爱的天赋，即所谓来自天性，没有丝毫的做作，显得十分自然。他在学校里也是这样。尽管像他这样的孩子似乎会引起同学们不信任，有时候会招来讥笑，甚至憎恨，譬如说，他经常陷入沉思，似乎不怎么合群，他从小就喜欢躲在角落里看书，但是同学们都非常爱他，他在校期间可以说始终是大家共同的宠儿。他难得淘气，甚至难得快活，可是只要看他一眼，马上就会发现这并不是因为他生性忧郁，恰恰相反，他的心情始终很平静很开朗。在同龄人中间他从来不愿意显得与众不同。也许正是由于这个原因，他从来不惧怕任何人，而男孩子们马上会明白他丝毫没有因为自己无所畏惧而自以为了不起，他的神情看上去好像他根本不知道自己十分勇敢、无所畏惧似的。他从来不记恨。往往有这样的情形，他受了委屈，一小时之后就会搭理欺侮他的人，或者主动跟那人说话，态度十分诚恳，内心不存丝毫芥蒂，仿佛两人之间根本没有发生什么事似的。这时候他的神态不像是偶尔忘记了他受到的委屈或者故意原谅了对方，而纯粹是他并不认为这是什么委屈。正是这一点令孩子们彻底佩服他。他还有一个特点，就是全校各个年级，自低年级直到高年级的所有同学都要取笑他，但这不是恶毒的嘲笑，而仅仅是因为他们感到这样做好玩。他身上的这个特点便是一种古怪而强烈的害羞心理和纯洁感情。他不愿去听那些关于女人的众所周知的言论，不幸的是，这种“众所周知”的言论在学校里并未杜绝。那些心灵纯洁的男孩，几乎还是小孩子，经常喜欢在教室里私下甚至公开谈论那些连大兵们都说不出口的事情，那些具体的场面和情状。不仅如此，我们有知识的上流社会的青少年在这方面熟悉的东西有许多是大兵们不知道也无法理解的。这也许还算不上道德败坏，也算不上厚颜无耻，算不上真正的深入骨髓的腐化堕落，而仅仅是一种表面的恬不知耻，然而正是这种表面的无耻行为往往被他们当做体面、微妙、洒脱，值得仿效的东西。他们发现“阿廖沙·卡拉马佐夫”听到别人说起“这种事”的时候就赶快用手捂住耳朵，于是有时候故意围住他，强行扳开他的手，对着他的两只耳朵喊脏话。他拼命摆脱他们，一屁股坐到地板上或者闭起眼睛躺下来，对他们的恶作剧毫无怨言，也不骂他们一声，默默地听任他们欺负。不过到最后他们也就不再欺负他，不再讥笑他是“黄毛丫头”了，反倒可怜起他来。顺便说一句，他在学习上一直是班里的优等生，但从来没有得过第一名。 叶菲姆·彼得罗维奇死后，阿廖沙在省城的中学里又呆了两年。悲伤不已的叶菲姆·彼得罗维奇的夫人在丈夫死后立即带着由清一色的女性组成的全家到意大利定居，阿廖沙则到了另外两位太太家里。这两位太太他以前从来没有见过，是叶菲姆·彼得罗维奇的远房亲戚，至于她们为什么要收养他，连他自己都不知道。他从来不过问自己靠谁的钱生活，这也是他的一个特点，甚至是非常突出的特点。在这方面他跟自己的二哥伊凡·费奥多罗维奇截然不同，他二哥在大学读书的头两年吃尽了苦头，只能靠自己的劳动养活自己，从小就痛心地意识到自己寄人篱下，受人恩惠。不过阿列克谢的这个性格特征似乎不应该受到过分严厉的责备，因为任何一个对他稍有了解的人，如果出现这类疑问，就立即会相信，阿列克谢肯定是这样一种傻里傻气的青年，即使他突然拥有了一大笔资产，那么他会毫不犹豫地送给任何一个向他要钱的人，或者捐给慈善事业，或者也许会随随便便送给一名狡猾的骗子，如果那骗子向他伸手的话。总而言之，他好像一点也不知道金钱的价值，当然不是指字面上的意义。他从来没有讨过零用钱，有时候给他点零用钱，那么他一连几个星期都不知道这些钱该怎么花，或者根本不加珍惜，转眼间便分文不剩了。彼得·亚历山德罗维奇·米乌索夫是个把金钱和资产阶级的信誉看得很重的人，他仔细观察了阿列克谢之后，有一次对他作了这样一个深中肯綮的评价：“像他这样的人也许是世界上独一无二的，即使突然把他放到一个有百万人口的陌生城市的广场上，他身上不名一文，那他也决不会丧命，决不会饿死或者冻死，因为别人会马上供他吃喝，马上会给他提供住处，如果不给他安排，那么他自己会安排的，而且他可以不费一点力气，不会忍受屈辱，而照顾他的人也决不会感到是一种累赘，也许恰恰相反，甚至认为这是一种乐趣。” 他在中学里没能结束自己的学业。离毕业还有整整一年时，他突然对那两位太太说，他想回到父亲那儿去办一件事。两位太太非常怜惜他，舍不得放他走。路费很便宜，他当掉自己的怀表——那是他的恩人一家出国前送给他的礼物，两位太太不允许他这样做，给了他一笔充裕的盘缠，甚至给了他新的内衣和外衣。但是他把其中一半的钱还给她们，说是他决定坐三等车厢回去。他一回到我们城里，他父亲劈头就问：“为什么不等毕业就回来了？”他一句话也没回答，听说当时他显得心事重重。不久发现他原来要寻找自己母亲的坟墓。当时他自己也承认他回来就是为了这个目的。但是，他此行的全部目的未必仅限于此。很有可能当时连他自己都不知道甚至无法解释清楚，究竟是什么原因使他心血来潮，并且不可抗拒地把他吸引到一条陌生却又难以避免的新路上。费奥多尔·巴夫洛维奇无法向他指出埋葬第二位妻子的地点，因为自从棺材入土之后他再也没有去过墓地，时间一长，连当时埋葬在何处也完全记不得了…… 顺便谈谈费奥多尔·巴夫洛维奇的情况吧。在这之前很长一段时间他没有住在我们城里。第二个妻子死后过了三四年，他前往南俄，最后到了敖德萨，在那儿一直住了好几年。据他自己说，起初结识了“许多男男女女老老少少的犹太佬”，到后来不仅那些做小商小贩的“犹太佬”，就是有脸面的犹太人也接待他了。应该承认，他一生中正是在这个阶段充分发挥了那种赚钱捞钱的特殊本领。他重新回到我们这个小城市不过是阿廖沙到来之前两三年的事。他原来的那些熟人发现他衰老得十分厉害，尽管按他的年龄还不该这么衰老，至于他的行为举止，非但没有变得高尚些，反而更加卑鄙无耻了。譬如说，这个原来的小丑萌生了一种无耻的需要——把别人装扮成小丑。他从前就喜欢跟女人胡搞，现在似乎变本加厉，更加恶劣了。不久，他在全县各处开了许多新的酒馆。显然，他的家产也许达到十万卢布，或者略为少些。不久便有许多城里和县里的居民向他告贷，当然喽，要有极可靠的抵押。最近以来他似乎老态毕露，失去了平衡和精明，陷于浮躁状态，做事丢三落四，有始无终，并且三天两头喝得烂醉如泥，倘若没有那个一直服侍他的仆人格里戈里——这时候他也十分老迈，有时候几乎像家庭教师那样侍候他——那么费奥多尔·巴夫洛维奇的生活不免会碰到种种特别的麻烦。阿廖沙的到来似乎在道德方面也对他产生了影响，这个早衰的老人久已枯寂的心里似乎有什么东西苏醒过来了。“你知道吗，”他常常一边端详着阿廖沙一边对他说，“你像她，像那个疯疯癫癫的女人！”他这样称呼自己已经去世的妻子，阿廖沙的母亲。“疯疯癫癫的女人”的坟墓最后还是由格里戈里指给阿廖沙看的，他把他领到我们城市的公共墓地，在一个偏僻的角落里指给他看一块价钱不贵但还算体面的铁铸墓碑，墓碑上甚至刻着死者的姓名、身份、年龄和死亡日期，墓碑下方还刻有四行类似诗歌的文字，那是从一般中等人家坟墓上常用的古体悼亡诗中选取的。奇怪的是，这块墓碑是格里戈里竖的，他自掏腰包，亲手在可怜的“疯癫女人”的坟墓上竖了这块碑，那是在他反复多次向费奥多尔·巴夫洛维奇提起这个坟墓最后终于惹得主人厌烦而离开此地前往敖德萨之后的事。主人不仅对这个坟墓不顾不问，而且不愿意回忆过去的往事。阿廖沙在自己母亲的墓地里没有说过一句特别动情的话，他只是仔细倾听了格里戈里郑重其事而又合情合理地叙述立墓碑的过程，垂着脑袋站了一会儿，然后默默地离开了，从此以后他甚至整整一年都没有去过他母亲的墓地。不过对于费奥多尔·巴夫洛维奇，这个细小的情节也发生了作用，而且这作用非同寻常。他突然拿了一千卢布送到我们的修道院用作追祭妻子的亡灵，但不是追祭第二位妻子，阿廖沙的生母，那个疯癫女人的亡灵，而是第一位妻子，就是那位经常揍他的阿杰莱达·伊凡诺芙娜的亡灵。那天晚上他喝得酩酊大醉，当着阿廖沙的面把修士大骂一通。他自己远不是信教的人，他也许永远不会买五戈比的蜡烛放到圣像面前。他这种人往往会莫名其妙地迸发出种种出人意料的感情和冒出出人意料的想法。 我已经说过，他显得十分衰老，他的外貌再清楚不过地说明了他前半辈子生活的特征和本质。除了他那永远流露着蛮横、无耻、怀疑和讥讽的小眼睛底下两坨肥大的眼袋，除了那张胖胖的小脸上多而深的皱纹，尖削的下颌下还挂着一个硕大的喉结，肉鼓鼓的，像一只椭圆形的钱袋，这更给他增添了一种令人厌恶的色迷迷的模样。还有一张食肉兽似的长嘴，两片厚厚的嘴唇，嘴里露出一片黑乎乎的残牙。他一开口说话就唾沫横飞，不过他自己也喜欢嘲弄自己那副嘴脸，虽然他对自己的长相还是满意的。他特别欣赏自己那个虽然不太大但很细巧的高高隆起的鼻子。他炫耀说：“这是真正的罗马式鼻子，再配上喉结，就是地地道道的衰落时期古罗马贵族的尊容。”他似乎引以为豪。 阿廖沙找到母亲坟墓不久，突然向父亲宣布说，他想进修道院，而修士们也愿意接收他当见习修士。他还解释说，这是他的迫切愿望，因此想征得父亲的正式同意。老人早就知道，在本地修道院里修行的佐西马长老对他这个“不声不响的孩子”产生了特别深刻的影响。 “这位长老当然是他们中间最诚实的一位修士。”他沉默着若有所思地听阿廖沙说完之后作了这样的表示，不过对儿子的请求几乎一点儿也不感到惊讶。“嗯，原来你是想到那儿去啊，我的不声不响的孩子！”他处于半醉状态，可脸上突然露出了笑容，那笑容保持了好久，虽然带着几分醉意，却不无狡猾和酒后的诡谲。“嗯，我早就预感到你会有这种结局，这一点你能想象吗？那地方是你一直向往的。好吧，你去吧。你名下不是有两千卢布吗，那就是给你的陪嫁。我的天使，我是永远不会抛弃你的，现在我就可以为你支付全部必需的费用，如果那儿向你提出这种要求的话。不过，如果他们不提出来，那我们何必硬要送上门去，是吗？你花钱省得就像金丝雀，一星期才吃两粒米……嗯。你知道吗，有一座修道院在城外专门拥有一座小镇，那儿的人都知道，小镇上住的全是'修士的老婆'，大家都这么叫她们，我估摸有三十来个……我去过那儿，你知道吗，挺有意思，就是别有风味，我是指可以尝到各种各样的味道。糟糕的只是俄国味太浓，缺少法国女人，本来是可以有的，钱绰绰有余。只要宣传一下，她们就会来的。这里的修道院倒没什么，这里没有修士的妻子，修士倒有二百来名。修士都挺老实，全是吃素的。我得承认……嗯。那么你真的想去当修士吗？我真舍不得你，阿廖沙，真的，你信不信，我已经喜欢上你了……不过，这倒也是个合适的机会，你可以替我们这些有罪的人祈祷，我们在这里作孽太多了。我一直在想，今后有谁能替我祈祷呢？世界上有没有这样的人？我亲爱的孩子，在这方面我愚蠢透了，也许你不相信？真是蠢透了。你瞧，不管我有多蠢，这个问题我还是考虑的，还是考虑的，当然是有时候想想，不是一直在想。我想，我死了魔鬼总不至于忘了用钩子把我钩去。我在想：是用钩子吗？它们的钩子是哪儿来的？用什么做的？铁做的吗？又是在哪里打的呢？难道它们也有铁厂吗？修道院里的修士们一定以为地狱里，譬如说，有天花板。而我可以相信有地狱存在，不过地狱里没有天花板。它的模样似乎应该比较雅致，比较文明，就像路德教派所主张的那样。实际上有没有天花板不都是一回事吗？不过，这个可恶的问题就在这里！假如没有天花板，那就不会有钩子，假如没有钩子，那一切都不存在，这么说来，问题又搞不清楚了，到时候谁用钩子来把我拖走呢？如果不把我拖走，那么到时候又会怎么样呢？这世界上的真理在哪儿？应该制造出这种钩子，特意为我，为我一个人制造，因为你要知道，阿廖沙，我是个恬不知耻的人！……” “那儿确实没有钩子。”阿廖沙凝视着父亲，一本正经地轻轻说道。“是的，是的，只有钩子的影儿，我知道，我知道。有一位法国人曾经描写过地狱，我看是马车夫的影儿，用刷子的影儿，擦马车的影儿！亲爱的孩子，你怎么知道没有钩子呢？你到修士们中间呆一段时间以后，就不会这样说了。不过，你去吧，等你找到了真理再回来告诉我，因为如果确实弄清了阴间是怎么回事，那么到那个世界去的时候心情毕竟要轻松些。再说你到修士们那儿总比在我这儿，跟我这个老酒鬼和一群黄毛丫头混在一起要体面些……虽然这里不会对你这个天使产生任何影响，兴许那里也不会对你产生任何影响。正是由于这个原因，我才答应你去的，我就是抱着这最后一个希望。你的智慧不会让魔鬼吃掉的。你像一把火，烧一阵之后就会熄灭，你治好了病就会回来的。我等着你，我觉得你是世界上唯一不责备我的人，我亲爱的孩子，这一点我有所感觉，我不会感觉不到的！……” 他甚至抽抽噎噎地哭了起来，他是个非常容易动感情的人。他既凶狠又多愁善感。 也许有的读者认为，我说的这位年轻人生来就有病态的、狂热的、不够健全的天性，是个平庸的幻想家，无精打采、羸弱委琐的人。实际情况恰恰相反，阿廖沙当时还是个十九岁的青年，身材匀称，脸色红润，目光炯炯。那时候他甚至非常英俊，个儿不高不矮，体态端庄，深褐色的头发，一张略长却又不失端正的鹅蛋脸，一双分得很开但很明亮的深灰色眼睛，神态深沉而安详。也许有人会说，红润的脸颊并不妨碍他成为狂热分子或神秘主义者，但我觉得阿廖沙甚至比任何一个现实主义者更清醒。当然喽，他在修道院里完全相信各种奇迹，不过依我看来，奇迹永远不会使现实主义者感到不安，也并非奇迹才能使现实主义者接受信仰。真正的现实主义者，即使没有信仰，也始终会在自己身上找到不相信奇迹的力量和能力，而如果奇迹出现在他面前，成为无法否认的事实，那么他宁愿不相信自己的感觉，也不会承认事实。即使承认事实，也只是把它看作一种自然的事实，只是在此之前他不知道罢了。现实主义者身上的信仰并非来自奇迹，相反，倒是信仰产生奇迹。现实主义者一旦有了信仰，那么根据自己的现实主义，他势必要承认奇迹。使徒多马说，在没有亲眼看见之前他是决不会相信的，但是他看到之后便说：“我的主，我的上帝！”是不是奇迹使他有了信仰呢？很可能不是，他之所以相信仅仅是因为他愿意相信，而且也许在说“没有看到之前决不相信”这话的时候内心深处就已经完全相信了。 有人也许会说，阿廖沙生性迟钝，缺乏教养，连中学也没毕业，如此等等。他中学没毕业，那倒是事实，可是说他迟钝或者愚蠢，那就太不公道了。我把上面说过的话再说一遍：他之所以走上这条道路，仅仅是因为当时只有这条路才能打动他，在他看来这是他的心灵摆脱黑暗走向光明的必由之路。此外，还请诸位考虑以下情况，即他已经多少有点我们这个时代青年的特征了，也就是说，他本性诚实，向往真理，探索真理，信仰真理，而一旦信仰了真理，就要身体力行，要迅速建立功勋，甘愿为此牺牲一切，即使献出生命也在所不惜。不幸的是，这些青年往往不明白，在许多情况下牺牲生命也许是最容易不过的事情，而从自己青春勃发的生命中牺牲五六年时间去从事艰苦的学习，钻研科学，其目的哪怕只是为了大大增强自身的力量，以便服务于真理，服务于自己所钟爱并打算建立的功勋，那么对他们许多人来说要作出这样的牺牲几乎是绝对办不到的。阿廖沙无非是选择了一条与大家截然相反的道路而已，只不过内心怀着那种尽快完成功勋的渴望罢了。他经过一番认真的思索之后，立即对灵魂不朽和上帝产生了坚定的信念，自然而然地对自己说：“我要为了灵魂不朽而活着，决不采取模棱两可的态度。”同样，假如他认为不存在上帝和灵魂不朽，那他也会毫不犹豫地立即成为一名无神论者或社会主义者（因为社会主义不仅仅是工人阶级的问题，或者所谓的第四等级的问题，而首先是无神论的问题，无神论在当代具体化的问题，是巴比伦塔的问题——建筑这座高塔不需要依靠上帝，也不是将人间变成天堂，而是要把天堂搬到人间）。阿廖沙甚至觉得再像从前那样生活是荒诞和不可能的了。《圣经》上说：“你若愿意做个完人，可去变卖你所有的，分给穷人……你还要来跟从我。”阿廖沙则对自己说：“我不能只拿出两个卢布以代替'一切'，也不能够只做弥撒以代替'跟从我'。”他幼年的回忆中，也许还保留着我们城外那座修道院的影子，当初他母亲经常带他到那儿去做弥撒，也许圣像前夕阳的斜辉对他产生了影响——他那患癫痫病的母亲往往把他举到神像面前。他这一次心事重重地到我们这儿来，也许就是为了看一看：这里是否舍弃了“一切”或者仅仅舍弃了两个卢布，——于是他在修道院里遇到了这位长老…… 这位长老，我在上面已经交代过，就是佐西马长老。但是这里还得略为谈一谈我们修道院里的“长老”究竟是怎么回事，可惜我对这些事情并不十分通晓，没有太大把握。尽管如此，我还想尝试一下用三言两语作些肤浅的介绍。首先，据一些行家说，长老和长老制度出现在我们俄罗斯的修道院里为时不久，还不到一百年，可是在整个信奉正教的东方，尤其在西奈和阿索斯，却已存在一千多年了。他们肯定地说，古时候，我们俄罗斯也有过长老制，或者说照理应该存在过，可是俄罗斯发生了种种灾难，由于鞑靼人的入侵，由于一次次战乱，由于君士坦丁堡被征服后中断了跟东方原有的联系，这种制度便在我们这儿被遗弃了，长老也绝迹了。但从上世纪末起，一位叫做“伟大的苦行者”的巴伊西·维里契科夫斯基及其门徒又重新恢复了这个制度，但是直到如今，甚至过了将近一百年之后，尚未在多数修道院内实行，有时候甚至作为一件俄罗斯从未听说过的新鲜事而遭到压制。在我们俄罗斯，只有在一个非常偏僻但又非常著名的科泽尔县奥普基纳修道院里，这个制度才特别兴旺发达。至于我们城外那个修道院里的长老制，是什么时候、由谁建立的，那我就说不清了，可是已经传到第三代，而佐西马长老则是第三代的最后一人，但他衰弱多病，气数也快尽了。将来由谁来代替他，目前还不知道。这个问题对我们这座修道院来说是至关紧要的，因为我们的修道院迄今为止还没有什么特别著名的地方，里面既没有圣徒的遗骸，也没有显灵的神像，甚至没有与俄国历史有关的光荣传说，也谈不上对我们的祖国作出过什么历史性的丰功伟绩。它的兴盛并且名闻全俄，完全是由于长老的缘故。为了亲眼目睹并聆听他们布道，人们不远千里，成群结队地从俄罗斯的四面八方拥到我们这里。那么，长老究竟是怎么回事呢？长老就是把你的灵魂和意志纳入到他的灵魂和意志中去的人。您选定了一位长老，就得放弃自己的意志，把自己的意志交给他，彻底放弃自己的意志。对于决心放弃自己意志的人来说，他要自觉自愿地经受这种考验，进入这种可怕的人生炼狱。他希望通过这种长期磨炼来战胜自己，把握自己，以便通过终生的修行最终获得完全的自由，即自我解脱，避免那些活了一辈子却未能在自己身上找到自我的人的命运。这种发明，也就是长老制——并非理论性的创造，而是来源于东方的实践，这种实践至今已有上千年了。对长老承担的义务不同于我们俄罗斯修道院中常见的那种“修炼”，这里规定所有跟随长老进行修炼的人必须永远向他忏悔，师徒之间应保持一种牢不可破的联系。据说有这么一个例子，有一次，那是在基督教的早期，有一位见习修士，他没有完成长老交给他的某项修炼任务，便离开修道院到了另一个国家，从叙利亚到了埃及，在那里经过长期而艰苦的修炼之后，终于熬尽磨难，殉道而死。教会尊他为圣者，为他举行葬礼。正当教堂执事大声喊着：“未曾受洗的人请离开！”的时候，那棺材连同躺在里面的殉难者突然离开原地，移出了教堂，这样接连重复了三次。后来终于发现，这位殉教的圣者破坏了修炼的规矩，擅自离开了长老，因此未经长老解除是无法获得宽恕的，即使他有伟大的功德也不行。直到把长老请来解除了他的修炼之后，他的葬礼才得以完成。当然，这仅仅是古代的传说，但是有一件前不久发生的事情：我们当今的一位修士在阿索斯修行，这地方他非常喜欢，把它当做栖隐之地。突然，他的长老命令他离开阿索斯，先到耶路撒冷朝拜圣地，然后返回俄国，回到北方的西伯利亚去：“那里才是你该去的地方，而不是这里。”那修道士听了十分震惊，也十分伤心，于是垂头丧气地到君士坦丁堡求见总主教，央求免除他的修炼。总主教回答说，不但他总主教无法解脱他，而且天底下没有也不可能有解除他修炼的权力。既然长老已经规定了他的修炼，那就只有长老本人拥有这样的权力。这样，在某些情况下长老被赋予了一种无限的不可思议的权力。这就是长老制在我国许多修道院里几乎受到压制的原因。不过，在老百姓中间，长老们备受尊敬。譬如说，不仅普通老百姓，就连那些最有地位的人也纷纷到我们修道院里向长老们顶礼膜拜，向他们忏悔自己的罪孽，倾诉自己的疑惑和痛苦，请他们给予忠告和谕示。反对长老制的人们看到这种情况后便进行种种责难，大叫大嚷说这样一来忏悔的圣礼被蛮横而轻率地贬低了。其实，见习修士和俗人向长老忏悔，他们并没有把它看作是一种圣礼。尽管如此，长老制最后还是站稳了脚跟，并且逐渐在俄国的修道院里盛行开来。至于这件使人只在道德上从奴役走向自由、走向自我完善又历经千年沧桑的武器，可能会变成一把双刃利剑，使某些人非但没有走向驯服和彻底的自我克制，恰恰相反，会导致他们恶魔般的狂傲，也就是说，不是获得自由，而是套上锁链，这种情况也许确实是存在的。 佐西马长老已经六十五岁了，他出身于地主家庭，年轻时曾是一名军人，在高加索当过尉官。毫无疑问，他是以自己心灵上某种超凡的魅力使阿廖沙折服的。阿廖沙就住在长老的修道室里——长老十分喜欢他，让他住进自己的修道室。值得一提的是，当初阿廖沙住在修道院里的时候还不受任何约束，他可以随便外出，即使离开好几天也没有关系，他穿修道服也完全出于自愿，只是为了在修道院里不至于显得有什么特殊。当然，他自己也喜欢这样。也许是长老始终拥有的那种力量和声誉对阿廖沙年轻的思想产生了强烈的影响。许多人说佐西马长老多年来接待了所有前来向他忏悔自己心灵并渴望得到他忠告和解救的人——他内心容纳的剖白、痛悔是如此之多，以致于他最后具备了洞察一切的能力，他一眼就可以看出陌生人为什么要到他这儿来，有什么要求，甚至能猜到是什么痛苦在折磨着他的良心。前来求他的陌生人还没有开口，他就知道了对方内心的秘密，这使人惊讶、羞愧，有时候几乎使人害怕。可是阿廖沙几乎始终能够看到，许多人，几乎所有的人，第一次跟长老单独密谈，他们进去的时候怀着恐惧和不安，而从他那儿出来的时候，差不多一个个都变得开朗和舒畅，布满阴霾的脸也会洋溢着幸福。令阿廖沙特别惊讶的是长老的态度一点也不严厉，恰恰相反，他待人接物一向十分和善。修士们说他心里牵挂的就是那些罪孽比较深重的人，谁的孽债最深重，他就最爱谁。直到长老大限将近的时候，修士中间还有忌恨他的人，不过这种人已经不多，他们只能保持沉默，虽然其中也包括修道院里几位相当有名望的重要人物，例如那位以沉默和持斋著称的老修士。不过，大多数人毕竟拥戴佐西马长老，许多人甚至全心全意地、热烈而真诚地爱他，有些人简直成了他狂热的崇拜者。这些人虽然还不敢公开宣扬，但在私下里却直截了当说他是位圣人，说这是没有疑问的事。他们看到长老的生命行将结束，因此期待着很快会出现奇迹，而他所在的修道院在不久的将来也会获得巨大的声誉。对于长老会显示奇迹的能力，连阿廖沙都深信不疑，正如他完全相信棺材会从教堂里不翼而飞的故事一样。他亲眼看到许多人带着有病的孩子或者成年的亲属来央求长老抚摸他们的额头，为他们祈祷，过了不久这些人又回来了，有的甚至头天刚走，第二天就又回来了，跪在长老面前，泪流满面地感谢他的救治。至于是否真的治好了毛病或者病情有些好转，这个问题对阿廖沙来说根本不存在，因为他完全相信自己的师父具有这种精神力量，师父的声望似乎成了他自己的胜利。每当长老出来接待那些恭候在修道院大门口的朝拜者的时候，他心情特别激动，特别兴奋。这些朝拜者都是平民百姓，他们从俄国各地专程赶到这儿来想见一见这位长老并且求他赐福；他们匍匐在他面前哭泣，吻他的脚，吻他脚下的土地，大声喊叫，女人们把自己的孩子举到他面前，把害癫痫病的女人领到他面前。长老和他们说话，简短地为他们祈祷，为他们祝福，然后让他们回去。近来长老经常发病，身体日渐虚弱，有时候连走出自己修道室的力气也没有，于是朝拜的人在修道院要接连等好几天才能见到他。至于他们为什么这样爱长老，他们为什么跪在他面前，为什么见到他就感动得流下眼泪，阿廖沙简直不会提出这样的问题。啊，他太了解俄国的普通老百姓了！他们温顺的灵魂被劳累和悲伤，更主要的是被普遍存在的不公和罪孽（自身的和普天下的）折磨得痛苦不堪，他们最大的要求和安慰莫过于找到一处圣地或一位圣人，向他顶礼膜拜。“尽管我们这儿有罪孽、有谎言、有诱惑，