Chapter 11 ten

You believe in an indestructible edifice of crystal, that is to say, an edifice to which you can neither stick your tongue out secretly nor throw your fist in your pocket to gesture contemptuously.Well, but that's probably why I'm afraid of the building, because it's made of crystal and can never be destroyed, and you can't even stick your tongue out to it. You see: if it is not a palace, but a chicken coop, and it rains again, in order not to get wet, I may crawl into the chicken coop, but I will not protect me from the wind and rain because of the chicken coop, out of gratitude , I regard the chicken coop as a palace.You're laughing, and you'd even say that in this case, a henhouse is like a grand palace—indistinguishable. "Yes," I replied, "if the only thing to live is to keep out of the rain."

But, what can I do? If I am sure, I don’t live just for this. If I live, I have to live in a magnificent high-rise building.This is my wish, this is my wish.Only after you change my heart will you be able to gouge it out of my heart.Well, you change it, you use another thing to make me feel fascinated, give me another ideal.But right now I would never think of a chicken coop as a palace.Even so, this edifice of crystal is nothing but a castle in the air, it cannot exist according to the laws of nature, and I only made it up because of my own stupidity and some ancient and unreasonable ideas of our generation. Habit.But what does it matter to me, even if it cannot exist at all.Even if he exists only in my wish, or more properly, as long as my wish exists, it exists-isn't it the same anyway?Maybe, you guys laughed again?Laugh all you want; I can take all people's ridicule, but when I feel hungry, I will never say that I am full; It will not compromise, it will never let it go, because according to the laws of nature it exists, it does exist.I would never think of a building with individual rooms for the poorer population, with a deal to live in for a thousand years, and just in case there was a dentist Wagenheim listed to practice - I would never Consider this my highest wish.Eliminate my wishes, wipe away my ideals, and see that you have better things, then I will go with you.You will probably say that it is not worth dealing with people like you; and in that case, I can say the same to you.We are talking seriously; and since you are unwilling to pay me your attention, I will not humbly beg you.I have a basement.

As long as I live and have my own wishes—if I add even one brick to such a edifice, let my hands rot!Don't think that I denied the Crystal Palace just because I couldn't stick my tongue out at it and make fun of it.I'm not saying this at all because I just stick out my tongue that much.Perhaps, the only reason I am angry is that such a building that can not stick out its tongue has not been found in all your buildings so far.On the contrary, out of gratitude, I am willing to have my tongue completely cut out, if only they can do it so that I myself will never want to stick it out again, never want to stick it out.As for saying that this cannot be done, one should be content with having a house to live in, and that has nothing to do with me.Why is it that I was born with such a desire?Was I born just to conclude that my whole nature is a deception?Is this the whole purpose of life?I do not believe.

But, you know: I'm a firm believer that a bridle must be put on for basement people like us.Although he can live in the basement without saying a word for forty years, once he sees the light of day again and breaks free from the cage, he will talk, talk, talk endlessly...