Chapter 10 Family life

elderly dad Strom • Thurmond, Mick Jagger, Luciano • Pavarotti, Charlie • What do Charlie Chaplin and Rupert Murdoch have in common? They all had children after the age of 55. In fact, if you exclude Mick Jagger, who had a baby at the age of 55, then the others are all over 65 and have new children.Thurmond, Chaplin and Murdoch are actually over 70 years old when they have their new child. Old New Dads aren't just a trend among the rich and famous, however.In what is now America, there is a new and expanding group of men who take painkillers when they go out and play in the backyard, but not with their grandchildren, but with their children.

In recent years, there has been a lot of attention paid to Old New Moms, and how women's work, combined with advances in fertility treatment, is pushing the age of pregnancy up, even beyond 40. But the neglected focus is on dads, who are getting older and don't face the same physical hurdles that most women in their 40s do. In the United States in 1980, only one in 23 births was born to a father 50 years or older.By 2002, the ratio had risen to about 1:18.Meanwhile, birth rates rose 32 percent among fathers ages 40 to 44, 21 percent among fathers ages 45 to 49, and increased for fathers ages 50 to 54 nearly 10%.Similar trends can be seen in many Western countries, including Israel, the Netherlands, the United Kingdom and New Zealand.

It is now commonplace for children to graduate from college with a 62-year-old father. While the majority of children are still born to fathers between the ages of 20 and 34, the proportion of fathers who are older than 40 at birth is increasing dramatically. Of course, part of the reason is related to the advanced maternal age.Because women don't pay enough attention to having children because of their jobs, their significant other--who are often a few years older--will most likely be the result of flipping through Fortune in an ob-gyn's waiting room. No, like the people of Maxim.

Another reason is divorce.It is well known that half of all marriages end in divorce, but it is also true that men remarry faster and more often than women.Sometimes referred to as "Do-OverDads," a growing number of older men are trying to be fathers again with wives younger than themselves. (Recall the trend that vasectomy recovery surgery has now increased by about 40 percent since 1999. And urologists say men who try it are generally around 45, 46, or older, and urologists say their new wives are at least 8 years younger than them) The combination of physiological conditions and individual abilities is the third reason.Older dads are still biologically able to bear children; they have greater access to younger women; and, they may have a greater ability to raise children later in life.

Are older dads better dads?They have been criticized for being too old to take on the onerous task of caring for toddlers, and by the time their children are at a major life turning point, the oldest of them are likely to be gone.But many older dads say they feel "reborn," more relaxed and more interested in family life than they were in the early struggles of their careers (or may have been all along).Long workdays are less and less appealing these days.Many also said that they felt smarter and more thoughtful with their children; and that they became more aware of their own lifespan and looked at their children with more appreciation.

I am an elderly dad myself. I was 48 years old when my youngest child was born; my children range in age from 4 to 19 years old.Being a senior dad made me focus on the following questions: What happens when my kids need me and I'm not there?But this status also means that the joys of family life will continue until I am 60 years old.Retirement and empty nest periods are shrinking, or disappearing altogether.Occasionally in a ballet class or at a parent-teacher conference, I'll see one side of the room with young dads who still have a lot to learn, and the other side with older new dads who are much more relaxed.This age distinction was most pronounced in the public schools—in the private schools, the elderly dads were in the crowd—but, at public school parties, we were very visible.

This difference between private and public schools is only one aspect of the business and social implications of this trend.Older dads are most likely to be wealthier dads.So for many children, it means access to wealth and privilege that children of struggling young parents may never have had. At the same time, these children also become part of an unknown social experiment.So far we've looked at teenage pregnancies, and we've overlooked the other side of the problem—even in 2001, the number of children born to fathers older than 40 was actually as many born to mothers The number of children under the age of 19 is equal.

Unlike senior mothers, who have many support groups, senior dads are a forgotten group, left to fend for themselves with little guidance, books or organizations to meet their needs.Note AARP, we can join at 50, but more and more of us have kids still in elementary school. All of this has huge implications for our society and its system of support.Senior dads are required to work longer hours and retire later in order to pay for their children's college tuition and other child-rearing costs later in life. They need a whole new set of less physical and more mental activities that they can engage in with their children of all ages.

Senior dads are likely to be larger consumers of energy drinks and parenting books because they are more carpooling than golfing than their empty-nester peers. Their children are more likely to be only children or the youngest, and they will need others to do the kinds of things that young dads typically do, such as physical activity and energy-demanding games.On the other hand, these children will have older role models—which may make them less interested in beer and more concerned with wine; less interested in driving fast and more concerned with driving safely; Rebellious, tends to be more conservative.

We may also need to reflect on our aging parent support system, as many elderly parents now need help before their children can support them. Elderly dads have also become a new political force.Divorced dads have become militant in their quest for paternal rights in Britain, grabbing headlines around the world for storming Buckingham Palace. Finally, if it is generally believed that voters in their 20s focus on personal opportunity, voters in their 30s and 40s focus on family issues, voters in their 50s and 60s focus on college tuition and retirement, and voters over 65 Voters pay attention to social security and health care issues, and senior dads completely break this process.Now, in their 40s and 50s, they're all about kids, and in their 60s and 70s they're thinking about college tuition...

pet parents Americans love pets.No president since Chester A. Arthur has moved into the White House without at least one dog or cat, and several in the 19th century did. Goat, Cow and Rooster.Pets, of course, provide warmth and companionship, and they are some of our best friends.Several studies have even shown that they can lower our blood pressure, reduce our stress, stave off heart disease, and prevent depression. So what's new about cats and dogs?There are now new breeds of pets and they are taking on new roles in our society.They have replaced children as America's #1 companion.And with these new kids on the block, some pets are rising in stature, almost joining the black American Express Card, the Platinum Frequent Flyer card, and the Maid and Butler for Life as the new luxury components of life.What they get is something that pets before them rarely get -- the chance to face higher problems and live a higher life.In America today, the top 1% of pets live better than 99% of the world's people. This is the case.The percentage of American households with pets has risen from 56 percent in 1988 to 63 percent.That means 44 million households have at least one dog, and 38 million households have at least one cat (although interestingly, there are a full 17 million more cats than dogs in the U.S. because cat owners have more than one more likely). In addition to these households, there are also a small number of people who keep fish, birds, snakes and other small animals, and from this we can know that the percentage of households with pets in the United States is more than twice the percentage of households with children .In fact, over the past 15 years, the percentage decline in households with children has been almost identical to the percentage increase in households with pets. Women are now increasingly living alone or as heads of households.These are complex demographic changes that have had some impact on our country, big or small. It is no coincidence that the number of households without children has increased, while the number of households with pets has also increased.According to the manager of a large pet store, the average buyer of pet products is a woman aged 24 to 45 who has no children.America's new way of life means children are increasing more slowly and pets are increasing faster.In the past, children used to be the pushers for pets—kids would pester their parents to buy them whenever they saw a small animal, until the parents finally gave in to their request.Any resources enjoyed by pets come at the expense of resources enjoyed by children, who share resources enjoyed by their parents. Now the super rich pet is inheriting it all.Not only are more middle-aged couples childless, but there are also more empty-nester families spending more time with their children away from home.The increase in our lifespan alone has quadrupled the amount of time spent in empty nests as children leave home for college.So whether it's adults who never had children, or adults who miss the children they've grown up, more and more people in the U.S. aren't living alone and are adopting more pets and treating them as children Treat it the same way. Clearly, these are some very lucky pets. Americans spent nearly $40 billion on their pets in 2006, up from $17 billion in the early 1990s—making spending on pets one of the top ten retail sectors in the United States.Pet merchandise is now a bigger industry than toys, candy or hardware.But what's new isn't its mass market -- the luxury pet market is unprecedented in its size.The top 1% of pets may get 40% of all the sweetness. Who needs kids when you can have a pet?Eight in 10 dog owners and two-thirds of cat owners buy gifts for their pets on birthdays or holidays.Pet health insurance is growing dramatically. 70% of those who purchased pet insurance and other interested pet owners said they would "give it all" to save their pet's life. In 2004, Americans purchased $14 billion worth of pet food, including record-breaking amounts of money spent on "human-quality," gourmet, vegetarian, low-carb, and organic foods for our animals. In 2006, we spent more than $9 billion on over-the-counter medical and supplies for our pets—don't think that's just flea collars and scratching posts.We buy tooth whiteners, breath fresheners, fur polishes, designer coats, jewelry for puppies and car seats for animals.We buy medicine for jaw acne in kittens.We bought "Doggles" to protect the eyes of the puppies from the harsh light while sitting in the convertible.In addition, there are sunscreens for small animals, nail polish for cats, anti-aging creams for animals, and perfume for claws (K#9 is only available in Barneys department store ② for the time being).Yes, we also buy contact lenses for our pets. Some pet parents spend thousands, if not tens of thousands, of dollars on custom kennels.The kennels have been upgraded to luxury hotels that offer walks, swimming, TV, good food and pedicures.The Nashville Loews Hotel (for people) recently introduced a full package called The Hound of Music, where for $1,600 you can seat your pup in luxury The saloon goes to the recording studio, accompanies its barks, and digitally records them on a holiday CD.There is also a massage service, of course for dogs. As every loving pet parent knows, there are also various life cycle related services.Pets travel in groups, which promotes socialization.Cat finishing schools, puppy dating services, and, um, wedding services.At the Animal Retirement Home, a variety of pets with similar temperaments come together in groups to play during therapy sessions.And of course there are pet funerals, pet memorials, and pet memorial ceremonies.Did you know that you can fashion diamonds from the remains of your dear pets?Evidence suggests that 20% of all man-made diamonds are produced this way. Not surprisingly, Marley and Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog was the best-selling film of 2005 and 2006 at the box office.The 2006 remake of "Lassie" (Lassie) became the most praised film of the year by film critics. What does the presence of pet parents mean? It is clear that the market for pet goods and services will continue to thrive.It's no longer just the development of small pet fashion stores; now large pet stores are developing "petiques" to meet the needs of pet parents.Even "human-oriented companies" want to squeeze in this market.Paul Mitchell's hair care products have established a special line for animal fur.OmahaSteake sells "steaks in bags for pets" (though, as you can imagine, not for cows).Apparel, toy and mattress companies of all kinds are jumping into the fray with Kibbles'nBits in the pet-products arena. This trend is also big news for animal medicine.Pets now live three or four times as long as they did 30 years ago because of these high-end foods and treats, unlike veterinarians who used to control rabies and distemper, now they treat obesity in animals , renal dysfunction and arteriosclerosis.Veterinary centers across the United States boast subspecialties in cardiology, neurology, and dermatology. Maybe "being a sick dog" isn't such a bad thing anymore? In addition to unique pet goods and services, innovators should also focus on the shared space between humans and pets. In 2005, Honda released a car called Wow, a concept car designed for people who often carry their pet dogs.The middle of the row with three seats has been replaced with a fence, the interior floor is made of wood to facilitate cleanup, and the rear door of the car has compartments for dog leashes, brushes and shovels for cleaning up pet waste.More and more people are working for their pets, not the other way around.A dog walker can make $200 an hour walking a pack of dogs around the block; a pet stylist can make $100 an hour if he happens to work for Fifi. In addition, there are public spaces.Pets are still not allowed in national parks (leaving dogs, which attracts cougars), but more and more hotels are not only allowing pets, but providing them with luxurious dog beds and bathrooms.The number of restaurants offering grab-and-go bags is on the rise.The mall provides Fido with water polo so the "moms and dads" can shop. People also want to be able to bring their pets to the workplace.The number of companies participating in Pet Sitters International's Bring Your Pet to Work Day doubled between 2003 and 2005.We haven't dealt with babysitting at work, but shouldn't babysitting be easier? The trend that pet parents are promoting can blur the legal distinction between pets and humans. In 2004, a judge in California awarded a record-breaking $39,000 to pet owners in a veterinary malpractice suit, acknowledging that if dogs were really considered "property," they The reasonable market value of owning would be only $10. In 2007, the pet food poisoning scandal had lawyers scrambling through litigation files trying to figure out what pet poisoning was.This trend may seem like a resounding success for pet lovers, but we need to keep an eye out for animal rights activists who are on the other side, arguing that keeping pets is inhumane.If pets are not property in the judge's view, why on earth are people allowed to own them? Another new factor is that, for a long time, scientists have insisted that the movements of those cute little dogs are all just instinct, and that pets have no real feelings or emotions.Now the scientific community has turned this idea on its head, acknowledging the obvious—pets think, act, and love like real children.The roots may be much shallower, but the emotional bond between a pet and its owner (especially in a childless home) is real and shouldn't be underestimated.When it comes to our kids, there's nothing we can't give them, even if they're cats and dogs.