Chapter 9 Chapter 4 "My God, what is she wearing on her feet?"

——Sophia Her: "New shoes?" Me: "That's not true, it's been—— already." Her: "New shoes?" Me: "Well, yeah, what do you think?" There is a clear difference between the two responses.The first "she" doesn't like me very much, and the second "she" is my good friend. Me: "New shoes?" Her: "Yeah, it's great, isn't it?" Me: "New shoes?" She: "That's not it, it's already there." I don't like the first "her" and the second "her" is Christina.

Let's make a pure assumption: you have a good friend, like me and Christina.You are very close, you can talk about everything, you care about each other, take care of each other, and you can find her no matter what you have.Your phone bills are also insanely high, and you can laugh and laugh all night together.You travel together, read the same books, and she even shares a passion for shoes with you.But her foot is a size 37, and you are a size 39, like me.She is petite, just a little over a meter taller, but you are 180 centimeters tall, like a gorilla, just like me.She's very close to the Italian shoe tycoon, but you don't know any of them, like I do.She wears new shoes all the time, but you don't.Well, even if some of her shoes are ugly, or even unsightly, they can only be regarded as a bunch of "leather nightmares".But those monsters are so beautiful on her feet, watching her swagger through the city, you feel really terrible, just like I feel.All eyes are on her, because many of her shoes are enchanting and sexy!Well, even if your friend is willing to lend you her shoes (actually she will not. Because shoes are no more than clothes or other accessories, you can borrow them as you like. If it is her true love shoes, she will not Will lend you.) Your big feet are still as big and clumsy as two ships, and even if you salt them for a week, you still can't get through those small and delicate glass that only Cinderella can wear shoe.So what about Prince Philip of Spain?Save it!what to do?Shouldn't you be friends with her?What a joke!Otherwise, pretend to be deaf and dumb and avoid the topic of shoes?Do you want to know how I do it?

I have long been used to face this matter with a smile.I will try my best to calm myself down, look at the balance of my bank account calmly and rationally, and then turn the full of jealousy and unwillingness into pure envy and joy, so as to truly "lover's shoes are like my own shoes" and play my best A true fraternity with a mature attitude.I will try to try not to think about it as much as possible and not talk about it.If possible, I try to ignore this fact and downplay my emotions.But if I still encounter difficult times, I will go out and have a drink by myself, maintaining the demeanor that a true friend should have.

In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that "she" was Christina, if it wasn't for the fact that Christina was my best friend, I wouldn't have to suffer through all of this.Because if the shoes you like are worn on the feet of any woman who doesn't care, then everything is much simpler.Because it's either a friend or an enemy. To deal with the enemy, there are many ways I can tell you! Command 1: Cut off Wu Qi's stiletto heels! Jealousy is actually a healthy emotion.Of course, from a moral point of view, envy is not to be encouraged, and there are no examples at all that can be praised.But if someone writes a book on a topic like "Little Philosophy of Emotions: Envy and Jealousy", I'd be very interested to read it, and from a purely academic standpoint!Jealousy itself is not a big problem, there is nothing wrong with being born with this emotion.The bigger question is, what should I do if I feel jealous?Of course it's easy to talk about theory: don't be affected by it, don't be controlled by it, let it pass like a breeze, treat it as a trivial matter, forget it in the past, and don't let jealousy really grow into a branch!Christina once said that it is right to pretend to be deaf and dumb and to deceive oneself and others anyway.

But if you really want to "end" the shoes on the enemy's feet, how should you do it? The highest and most elegant move is: buy yourself a pair that is exactly the same, and it looks better than the enemy. "Fatigue-bombing compliments" is a simple and convenient trick: "Oh, your shoes are so beautiful, they are so beautiful! They really fit your style, they are so beautiful! They are so good, they look good, they look good, they are just good-looking!" I praised them at least three times a day, until the shoe owner would rather give up wearing them. That shoe shows up, and stop being bombarded with your never-ending fatigue.The secret of this trick is very simple, which is to continuously increase the number of praises and the frequency of praises.

If the situation is more difficult and not so easy to settle, "ironic praise" can provide assistance when necessary: "Oh, your shoes are really good and ideal! I used to think that if a person is already too fat, he should not run around in shoes with these heels. But you wear them a little bit It's not too ugly. Why, have you lost all the 23 kg of fat? Well, you look more and more like your mother in these shoes, and I admire your mother the most Man, you know. Where the hell did you get those shoes? They're amazing! Hey, what's that growing on your heel? Is it a bone growth? Yes, let me tell you , things started like this, be careful, it will become very uncomfortable. And these shoes are so revealing, everyone can see them at a glance, don't you feel bad? By the way, that Mrs. Kane And Miss Maureen (please take the example of the most blind and tasteless people you know together), they have recently bought the exact same pair of shoes as you! But their heels have not yet appeared Such a problem..." and so on, continue to count down.

There is a prerequisite when using this move, you must be very clear about the opponent's weakness, that is to say, you must be able to hit the opponent's vitals as soon as you make a move, and hit the vitals of the owner of the pair of jealous shoes. "Aim, fire!" It's that simple.In this way, the person concerned had to reluctantly give up her shoes because of her weight and her mother!However, forcing the other party to give up with praise usually takes a lot of brains to do it.If this trick is successful, not only will the shoe disappear, but usually the owner of the shoe will also be solved; not only will it solve the current problem, but I am afraid that you will never have to worry about it again.And remember, there is no evil or foul language in the fight, and the win is just beautiful!cool right?

"Face-to-face criticism and direct slander" is the most honest attitude, and "speaking out" has always been the fastest way to get relief. "These shoes are so ugly!" It's a cool thing to say often, regardless of the timing, regardless of the occasion, but I'm afraid it won't be of much use.Of course, there are exceptions to everything, but according to my personal experience, this kind of quick-talking criticism usually has little effect. "Talking behind the back" is a reinforcement tactic that belongs to the "adding fuel to the fire" type.No matter what it is aimed at, remember that it can only be used as an auxiliary, and this trick alone will not be effective.But if you are an emotional and impulsive person, then I believe you already know this well.am I right?

"Conspiracy design, plot to sabotage" is the usual method used by people who have absolutely no control over their emotions.But this trick is often the most effective, because the pair of shoes that caused the accident have since disappeared and never been seen again.But the trouble that may be caused is that when you are dealing with the shoes, the owner's feet are probably still wearing them.But if you have already decided to use the most violent move anyway, then I am afraid that you will not pay attention to the enemy's inadequacy.People are always ready to make some sacrifices, don't you think?

I'm afraid you're a conspirator who likes to form parties and sabotage, isn't it?Then I believe that you can easily find like-minded partners and form an organization that specifically aims to "end" innocent shoes, just like the Russian Mafia Gang, the US Central Intelligence Agency, the X-Files, the Anti-Limited Arms Group or the International Special The function assembly is the same.Everyone has the same ideal and the same goal. "Send everyone the same pair of shoes" is the most treacherous way, but it is also the most fun, and it will allow you to make the most friends in the shortest time.

As for the trick of "writing black whistleblower letters", basically you have to have a good relationship with the media.But now that you know us, that's enough.But there is one thing that is still required, which is a document that is sufficient for the manufacturer to recall its product, such as a medical report or something.The report clearly and unambiguously described the problem with a certain pair of shoes (the ones on the enemy's feet, of course), stating that it caused incurable allergic diseases, as well as extremely serious skin complications. "No comment, keep silent" is a truly "heroic" approach.Because this process may take a long breath, and also requires the cooperation of many people, everyone must be like you, pretend to be deaf and dumb, and keep silent.But I can guarantee that this trick is absolutely effective, and it is the only useful method. Of course, relatively speaking, there are some people who will also regard you as an enemy because of the shoes.But sometimes their hostility does not necessarily come from the shoes you wear on your feet, but from the shoes you carry in your hands, packed in two eye-catching bags!See the story below. A company invited Christina and me to Italy, where they wanted to give us a product presentation.So we set off from Hamburg, transited through Frankfurt, and flew all the way to Durin.When we were at Hamburg International Airport, we already recognized some of our comrades, who were also flying to Turin to "do business". We don't know them, we just recognize them.It is believed that a butcher born on the Rhine has the same instinct.For example, during Christmas, believers from all over the world pour out of St. Peter's Square, where the Holy See is located, in order to listen to the Pope's instruction. Let's say there are 250,000 people.The dude whispered into his wife's ear in the crowd, "Look, honey. That one over there and this one over here are all in our line of business. That one must be from Germany The slaughterhouse in the north, and this one is local to the Vatican." On the plane to Frankfurt, Christina and I mentioned the shoe store in the aisle of the terminal building.During our forty-five-minute layover in Frankfurt, we certainly didn't miss any chance.As Christina said, the store has so many beautiful shoes, which is great! We carefully admired and selected a few pairs, tried them on several times before and after, but still couldn't make up our minds.Finally, we finally decided to buy a pair each, so we went to the counter to check out, wrapped up the shoes and took them away.It's just buying two pairs of shoes, do you know how much time it took?Half an hour, a full half hour!In addition to the original hand luggage, we now each have a very large and very eye-catching paper handbag, which contains our latest prey.Just when we wanted to go back to the boarding gate of the connecting flight, we suddenly found that we had to go through a security checkpoint first, and a long and winding queue was in front of us! When we were called for the first roll call, we were stuck on the threshold of the customs clearance.I started to feel a little hairy.Finally, I can let go of my pace and run.Why is this passage so long?The bag hanging on his wrist swayed violently from side to side as he walked.We were called again by name. "The last call to passengers Ye Linghaos and Ms. Bi Ke on Deutsche Airline XX flight to Durin, please go to the XX gate to board the plane as soon as possible!" The boarding gate is far away!The ground crew ran towards us in a panic, three steps at a time, and we jumped onto the shuttle bus that had been waiting there for a long time.All the people on the plane have already been waiting there, only the two of us are missing!We breathed a sigh of relief as the car moved slowly towards the plane, secretly glad we made it in time. After a moment of concentration, we felt them.The piercing eyes, the scornful smiles, the hostile expressions, those dear fellows.They stared wide-eyed at the bags in our hands, the two bags we didn’t have at the Hamburg airport, the two shoe store bags we just got!Well, we are also sorry for making all the passengers wait so long, but the plane is not delayed because of this?We can still take off on time, can't we? Those comrades didn't come to talk to us until they arrived in Durin.I think the only reason is the two bags.Because from beginning to end, we did not let any of our comrades see what kind of shoes were in the bag.But it may also be because one afternoon, the two of us avoided the crowd and went to the street alone, which made them nervous and suspicious for a long time.Ha, those dear friends may never think that we are not actually shopping for shoes, but looking for a Fendi bag. Having said the above story, I feel that for the sake of fairness, another real incident should also be told.The protagonist of this story is a person who is very close to me (you should be able to guess who it is?). In this incident, she herself was not hurt because of the shoes, but she has left a lot to many people since then. Hostility, especially from those who expressed interest in her shoes.There is a reason for this result. My friend spent a lot of time, through various channels, and finally got a pair of Genny's silver lace-up sandals, size 37, as he wished.A pair of handmade shoes woven with gold and silver threads is like a perfect work of art.My friend was so proud of it that he took it to the office to wear it and showed it to his colleagues everywhere.After showing off for a while, I returned to my seat. Since I really didn't want to put it too far away from myself, and I couldn't bear to put it in the box, my friend put her precious shoes on her desk. , things just happened like this inevitably... Boom, boom, boom (like the gloomy timpani suddenly sounding before the villain enters the stage), tragedy is about to happen!It happened so quickly that people were completely caught off guard.My colleague Fat Girl suddenly appeared by the door, only to hear her yelling: "Wow! Beautiful! Can I wear it?" Before she could say it, she had already grabbed the shoes.She put the shoes on the ground, and suddenly stuffed the feet that were at least size 41 into the sandals that were only woven with a few strings!We have to be clear first, this whole thing happened very fast, and you usually only see similar "lightning" plots in books.The whole process probably took no more than three and a half seconds, so fast that people had no time to react, and even screamed: "No! Don't! Please!" It was too late to say it.My friend was limp and paralyzed in his seat.The colleague then realized that it was impossible for her big feet to fit into the shoes.Slightly annoyed, or at least rather embarrassed, she threw the shoes back on the floor and left the room again with a thump, thud, thud. My friend gradually recovered from the shock.She flipped over, jumped to the ground, and carefully picked up the pair of Genny sandals, which were still unstained just now but have now been stained, and began to examine carefully to see if there were other more serious injuries, such as whether the leather heart was damaged. Broken?Is the shoe body stretched?Fortunately, everything is fine. That fat colleague later paid the price.After changing the two tactics of "directly slandering" and "talking behind the back", until today, many people still remember her pair of "elephant feet wearing embroidered shoes" whenever they mention her. But there are still some people who are simply enemies, not because they have shoes that we don't have.For example, my ex-husband's current new love, for example, the call girl wearing bright red patent leather high heels, for example, Obasan wearing "green shoes", whenever it rains, there will be a disgusting smell. Some people do wear expensive high-end goods on their feet, but if you take a closer look, you will find that her athlete's foot is already quite serious, and no matter how beautiful the shoes are, she is not enviable.And those women who wear "gold shoes" do wear sandals woven of real gold on their feet, but their little toes are bruised and covered with thick scabs all year round, and their nails are painted with nail polish because of old age. Knitting friction, always mottled.Since it is already ugly enough, there is no feeling of discomfort. Ever since you broke up in love, you have been in a depressed mood, unable to eat, and the pile of empty wine bottles is higher than the books on your desk.After a few weeks, you finally feel hungry again and decide to go out and get some food at noon on a Saturday.Unexpectedly, in the fresh food department of the supermarket, you ran into that nasty rival in love, but at the same time, you also saw an obviously protruding ankle joint in her pair of handsome soft Baotou shoes.Ha, that's enough!Nothing to worry about!