Chapter 28 Keep the fire of dissatisfaction burning

On Life, Chapter 48 A cool wind blows.This wind is not the dry air of the surrounding desert, but blows from the distant mountains.The mountains in this area are the highest in the world, stretching from northwest to southeast.The mountains are so vast and sublime that it is incredible to see them in the morning, before the sun reaches the sleeping earth.These towering peaks shone with delicate rose-colored clarity against the light blue sky.After the sun came out, long shadows covered the plain.These peaks soon disappear into the clouds, but, before retiring, they leave their blessings to valleys, rivers, and towns.You can no longer see them, but you feel that they are there, wordless, boundless, and eternal.

A beggar sang a song and walked all the way.He is a blind man, and he is accompanied by a small child.He staggered past passers-by, and occasionally some of them threw a coin or two into the jar in his hand.But he just kept walking, not paying attention to the sound of Ding Dong's copper plate.A servant came out of a great house, dropped a penny into his jar, muttered, and closed the door.The parrots began to make noise and fight during the day. They flew to the fields and woods during the day, and returned to the trees by the roadside to spend the night at night.Although there are street lights shining between the branches and leaves, it is relatively safe there.The other birds seemed to be in town all day, eating sleeping worms in the large grass.A boy played the flute and walked by, very thin and barefoot, but he walked with his head held high, as if he didn't care where he stepped.He himself is the flute, and the flute is also in his eyes. Following him, you will feel that he is the first child in the world with a flute.In a way, he really is.He didn't care about the rampaging cars around him, the policemen who were too tired to sleep on the corner of the street, or the woman with a big bag in her hand.He has been lost in this world, but the sound of the flute continues.

And so began the day. The room is not big, and it will be full after a few people come, including young and old.There was an old man with a young daughter, a couple, and a college student.They obviously did not know each other, and each was eager to talk about his own problems, regardless of the others.The little girl sat beside her father, shy and quiet.She should be about ten years old, wearing new clothes, with a flower in her hair.We sat for a long time without speaking a word.College students wait for the old man to speak first, the old man wants others to speak first, and finally the young man speaks.

Youth (very nervous): This year is my last year at university.I'm studying engineering in college, but I always feel that I'm not interested in any kind of industry, I don't know what I want to do.My father is a lawyer.He doesn't mind as long as I do things for granted.Because I studied engineering, he wanted me to be an engineer.But I'm really not interested.I told him about it, but he said if I could make money out of it for a living, I'd be interested.I have some friends who studied different things and have different ways of making a living, but most of them are exhausted.What will happen in a few years, only God knows.I don't want to be like them, but if I were an engineer, I'm sure I'd be exhausted.I'm not afraid of exams, I pass them easily, I'm not bragging.I just don't want to be an engineer.I'm not interested in anything else.I also used to write and paint, but I can't do too much of that kind of thing.My father only cares about my job, he can also help me find a good job.However, I know what will happen to me if I accept it.I really wanted to drop everything and leave school, even forgetting the graduation exam.

K: This is so stupid.Isn't it? You're almost graduating, why don't you finish? It doesn't hurt, does it? YOUTH: I don't think so.But what should I do now? K: What exactly do you want to do, other than a general career? Maybe it's a little unclear, but you've got to have some kind of interest, somewhere, deep down, you know what you're interested in, don't you? YOUTH: Look, I don't want to be rich, I'm not interested in raising a family, I don't want to be a slave to the routine.Most of my friends have jobs, all have some kind of occupation, and are tied to the office from morning till night.What the hell did they get? A house, a wife, kids, and boredom.To me, the prospect was terrifying.I don't want to get bogged down, but I don't know how yet.

K: Now that you've thought about it so much, have you ever wondered what your interests are? What did your mother say? Youth: As long as I'm safe, she doesn't care what I do.What she meant by peace was getting married and settling down.So she supported my father.When walking, I often ask myself what exactly I want to do.I've talked to friends, but most of those friends have jobs, so it's not really a good idea to talk to them.As long as they engage in a profession, no matter what it is, they think that they should do it in terms of obligations and responsibilities.I just don't want to get caught up in this grindstone.But what the hell I want to do, I wish I knew.

K: Do you like people? Youth: A certain aspect.Not very clear, why do you ask? K: Maybe what you want to do is social work. Youth: It's strange for you to say that.I've thought about social work, and I've talked to people who have been in social work their whole lives.Generally speaking, they are boring, deeply frustrated, care about the poor, always want to improve the social situation, but they are very unhappy inside.I know a lady who could have married, had children, and had a family life, but her ideals ruined her.She works professionally to do good, and to enjoy her own boredom.That kind of ideal has no vision, no inner happiness.

K: I think religion is nothing at all to you in a general sense? Youth: I used to go to the temple with my mother when I was a child.There are monks, pilgrims, and pujas in the temple.But I haven't been there for several years. Krishnamurti: This kind of thing also becomes a routine, a recurring event, a life based on words and explanations.Religion is something else.do you like adventure Youth: General adventure—mountain climbing, polar exploration, deep sea diving, none of that.I'm not very good, but to me, this kind of thing is a little childish.It is better to hunt whales than climb mountains.

K: What about politics? Youth: I'm not interested in general political games. K: We've ruled out a lot of things, haven't we? If you don't like any of these things, what else would you like? YOUTH: I don't know.I'm too young to know yet. K: It’s not about age, is it? Dissatisfaction is a part of existence, and usually we all have ways of taming it.This method may be work, maybe marriage, maybe faith, maybe idealism, maybe a good job.Whatever the method, we all try to put out the flames of dissatisfaction, don’t we? Once it’s out, we feel like we’re finally happy.Maybe we really are happy -- at least temporarily.But if we do not extinguish the fire of dissatisfaction with a kind of satisfaction, will it keep burning? Is it still dissatisfaction then?

Youth: You mean that I should maintain the status quo and be dissatisfied with everything about myself, but I still don't want to find a satisfactory career to put this fire out? Is that what you mean? K: We are dissatisfied because we think we should be satisfied. The thought that "we should be at home" makes our insecurities painful.You think you're supposed to be responsible, you're supposed to be a useful citizen and so on, don't you? If you understand that discontent, you might become that kind of person.But you want to do something else to satisfy yourself, something else to occupy your heart and put an end to the inner turmoil, don't you?

YOUTH: On the one hand, yes.But I now know what the consequences of this kind of thing will be. Ke: When the heart is full, you will be very tired, and you only know how to take medicine according to the prescription.In essence, such a mind is vulgar.Since this kind of mind is based on habits, beliefs, and profitable routines that everyone follows, the mind feels safe both internally and externally, and it is no longer disturbed.That's it, isn't it? Youth: Generally speaking.But what should I do? K: If you go deep into this feeling of dissatisfaction in yourself, maybe you will find the answer.Don't think in terms of "wanting to be fulfilled".Just think about why there is dissatisfaction, and whether you should let the fire of dissatisfaction continue to burn.Because you don't really care much about making a living anyway, do you? YOUTH: Frankly speaking, I don't care.No matter what, people can live on. K: So it is not a problem for you at all.You just don't want to get caught up in routine, in the wheel of mediocrity.Don't you care about that? YOUTH: It seems so, sir. K: Not getting caught up means that you have to work very hard, and you have to be very careful all the time. Don't come to a conclusion first, and then think from the conclusion.Because having a conclusion before thinking is equal to not thinking at all.Because the mind starts from conclusions, from beliefs, from experience, from knowledge, it gets stuck in a rut, caught in a web of habits, and thus cannot extinguish the fire of dissatisfaction. YOUTH: I think you are quite right.I now know what's going on in my mind.I don't want to be like those people, living a monotonous and boring life.I don't feel superior in saying this.There is no point in throwing yourself into all sorts of adventures.I don't want to just be content either.Maybe a little blurry, but I've seen a new direction.I never knew this direction existed before.Is this direction one of those eternal and forever created states or movements that you were talking about the other day? K: Maybe! Religion is not about churches, temples, pujas, beliefs.Religion is finding that movement every moment.The movement can be called whatever it is, or no name at all. YOUTH: I'm afraid I've taken up a lot more time. (He turns to the audience) I hope you don't mind. Old man: Where, like me, I listen very attentively and benefit a lot.I also see something new outside of my question.Sometimes listening to someone else tell us about his problems lightens our burden. (He pauses for a minute or two without speaking, as if considering what to do next.) Old man: Personally, I have lived to this age, and I no longer ask myself what I want to do. I look back on what I have done in my life.I also went to college, but I didn't think as much as this young friend.After graduating from university, I will find a job.Then, in order to make money to support my family, I have been doing it for more than forty years.In the past forty years, I have been stuck in what you call office affairs, and I am very used to family life.I understand the ups and downs.Struggle and fatigue have aged me, and the years have aged faster.Looking back at all this, I asked myself: "What have you done in your life? Besides family and work, what have you accomplished?" (The old man pauses for a while before answering his own question.) Over the years I've been involved in various societies to improve this, improve that.I belong to some religious groups.I often quit one and add another.I'm retired now, so it's very clear that I've been superficial in my life.I've been going with the flow.At first I resisted the social trend a little bit, but in the end I let it pull me along.But don't get me wrong, I'm not regretting the past, I don't regret the past, what I care about is my remaining years.How should I live my so-called life between now and my imminent death? That is my question. K: Everything today is born of the past.What is today will shape what will be in the future. "Now" is the movement of "past" to "future". Old Man: How about my past? It's actually blank.No felony, no monstrous ambition, no heavy sorrow, no corrupting violence.My life is the life of ordinary people, neither hot nor cold.Calm running water, utterly vulgar life.My past is nothing to be proud of, nor to be ashamed of.My existence is exhausting and empty, meaningless.Whether I lived in a palace or a hut before, it was probably the same.How easy it is to fall into the vulgarity! My question is, can I stop the vulgarity from within? Is it possible to break free from the creeping and expanding past? K: What is the past? What do you mean when you say the word "past"? Old man: For me, the past is mainly association and memory. K: Do you mean the whole memory, or just accidents? Accidents have no psychological significance, we remember them, but they don't take root in the psychic soil.Accidents come and go, and they do not occupy the mind or constitute a burden on the mind.What has psychological significance is something other than these events, so what do you mean by the past? Would we have a fixed past that you would break free from clearly and distinctly? Old man: My past is made up of many small things, the roots are very shallow, and the slightest strong wind will blow it away. K: You are just waiting for the strong wind.Is this your problem? Old man: I don't wait for anything.But, do I have to live like this for the rest of my life? Can't I break free from the past? K: Here we go again.What is the "past" that you want to break free from? Is this past static? Or is it alive? If it is alive, where does its life come from? What means does it resurrect? If it is alive, can you break free? , you want to break free, who is this "you"? Old man: I'm all confused.I asked a very simple question, but you asked me several complex questions.Could you please clarify what you mean? K: Sir, you said you wanted to break free.What is this "past"? Old people: experience, and our memory of experience. K: You said that these memories are superficial and not deep.But isn't some of it deep in the subconscious? Old Man: I don't think I have any deep buried memories.Tradition and belief run deep in the hearts of many people.But I follow traditions and beliefs only for social convenience, they play no important role in my life. K: If the past can be ruled out so easily, then there is no problem.If the past was just a shell that could be thrown off at any time, you would have broken free long ago.But in fact there are still many problems, isn’t it? How to get rid of the vulgar life? How to break the vulgar heart? Sir, you have these problems too, don’t you? Of course, the “how” here is to prompt us to explore, not to find any method .What makes us humble is the desire to succeed in practicing methods in the first place, coupled with the fear and authority involved. Old Man: My past is meaningless.I came here to let go of the past, but now I am faced with another problem. K: Why do you say that your past has no meaning? Old man: I've been drifting with the surface of life.Go with the flow, the roots are not deep.Even at home.I know that life is nothing to me, that I am nothing.I still have a few years to live, I don't want to follow the crowd, I want to use the remaining years to do something.Is this even possible? Krishnamurti: What do you want to do from life? Isn't the pattern of what you want to do developed from the past? Of course your pattern is reflected from the past.That's the result of all the past. Old Man: In that case, what else can I do? Krishnamurti: What do you mean by life? Can life do anything? If not, is life immeasurable and therefore not confined to the mind? Everything is life, isn't it? Jealousy, vanity, Inspiration, despair, as well as social morality, acquired virtues other than "integrity", knowledge accumulated in the past, conduct that connects the past and the present, so-called religious belief, truth beyond belief, hatred and emotion, love beyond the heart And compassion -- all of that, and everything else, is life, isn't it? You want to do something in life, you want to give shape, direction, meaning to life.So who is the "you" who wants to do all this? Is there a difference between you and the things you want to change? Old man: You mean that it is enough for people to just follow the crowd. K: If you want to direct life, shape life, you can only base it on the past.Otherwise, because you can't shape your life, you have to go with the flow.However, if life is understood in its entirety, this "knowledge" responds to itself, neither drifting with the flow nor falling into a pattern.This understanding comes from every moment of life.The past is gone. Old man (in a hurry): But am I capable of understanding life as a whole? K: If you do not understand, no one else can understand for you.You cannot learn from others. Old Man: How should I proceed? K: Know yourself.Because the whole of life and the treasures of life are in your heart. Old Man: What do you mean by knowing yourself? K: Know your own heart.Know your cravings, your desires—both external and hidden within.Where there is accumulation of knowledge, there is no learning.If you can understand yourself, your mind will not be dead.Only in this way will the incalculable thing of the mind be produced. The couple didn't interrupt from the beginning to the end.They waited for their turn to speak, and the gentleman didn't speak until now: "Our problem is jealousy. But now that I've heard you talk so much, I think we've solved it. Listening quietly might be better than asking a question More things."